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It’s All Fun and Games Until Somebody’s Dick Gets Ripped Off

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Will the sophisticated sexbots of the future herald a sexual utopia for Alphas and redpillers? Opinions vary. But only slightly!

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  • I for one welcome our new sexbot overlords.

    • LosGatosCA

      I prefer ‘Sharks with fricking laser beams.’

  • Nobdy

    Clicked link expecting a story of a prototype sex bot actually mangling someone’s genitals.

    Extremely disappointed, though I will give credit to the whiny menfolk for originality.

    Why oh why won’t women stop terrorizing men who just want to do their own thing and be happy?

    It seems like no matter the situation or scenario women cannot stop themselves from attacking men.

    • Whatever you do, don’t read the comments under Nobdy’s second link. Do not. get out. of the. boat. The mangoes are beyond deadly.

      • Nobdy

        I think the article itself is reasonably well-written and in an article like that on most of the internet the comments are going to be blood curdling.

        I do think some of them were ironic (at least I hope so) and I was amused by the one that asked whether her avatar had a “boyish figure” and was “conservatively dressed.”

        I mean it’s only 50/50 that it was intended as satire, but it’s pretty good satire.

  • Casey

    I’ve got some news for you: Fembots have feelings too.

  • Captain Oblivious

    Trigger warning request: when linking to sites you know dang well some of us don’t want to give page clicks to, could you please identify them in the text instead of making us squint at the URL in the browser’s status bar?

    Perciate it.

    • You have a problem with We Hunted the Mammoth?

      • sharculese

        As someone who was part of the great migration of 2013, where Futrelle seemed completely uninterested in his commenters’ legitimate concerns about his moderation policy, a little bit, yeah.

        • I was unaware there was any controversy.

          • sharculese

            I think it was after you stopped commenting there. Long story short, someone made a comment about sodomy laws being discriminatory and pecunium went into full pedant mode in the way only he can and argued that they weren’t because theoretically a straight couple could be prosecuted for having anal sex. A bunch of people were really offended, and when they kept trying to explain to him what was messed up about what he said he just doubled down. It spilled over into the secret forum, Futrelle seemed really perplexed as to why so many of his queer commenters were hurt by this, some other people did some other dickish stuff, and a bunch of regulars quit the place en masse.

            I missed a chunk of it because I wasn’t on the internet that week, but when I got back, shit was bad.

            Also, now that I think about it, this was 2011, not 2013, because it was the first summer I was in DC.

            • I remember the commenter; I usually enjoyed his comments, but that seems jerky.

              I also remember being a forum owner with 600 members. It could get dicey. And this was at a fucking soap (opera) board.

              • Nobdy

                his was at a soap opera board

                I mean it would seem like drama was kind of inevitable, no?

                The first time a poster disavowed the last month of posting because they were done by her evil twin, and then after it turned out that a mod who everyone thought had been banned returned and it turned out that not only was the ban ruled illegal but one of the other mods had secretly been helping him and now he owned the ISP that hosted the board…

                Did a popular poster ever leave to go to another board and someone else took over posting under her nym only nobody ever commented about it?

                • I really do wish I could “Like” posts here.

                • sibusisodan

                  Chapeau!

            • Halloween Jack

              Lord knows I’ve had my own differences with one forum or another–I don’t voluntarily go over to LiveJournal these years unless George R.R. Martin posts another chapter of The Winds of Winter there–but C.O. is suggesting that Beth make a special policy for WHTM links based on something that happened five years ago, at least partially on a “secret forum.” Just a little perspective from someone who’d never even heard of said controversy.

    • Dennis Orphen

      Does this mean you won’t be participating in the Trust Fall at the next LGM meetup?

      • (((Malaclypse)))

        That was all fun and games until everybody just watched as jfl dropped flat.

        • jim, some guy in iowa

          was it you and joe who talked about the molasses flood in Boston about a hundred years ago? Happened across a book about that the other night. Haven’t gotten too far into it yet but jesus what a mess

          • efgoldman

            jesus what a mess

            My dad was four years old. My grandparents lived in the old West End, not far from where it happened, and would surely have remembered it – but I don’t ever remember them mentioning it.

          • (((Malaclypse)))

            was it you and joe who talked about the molasses flood in Boston about a hundred years ago?

            Could have been.

            jesus what a mess

            I see what you did there.

  • William Berry

    Near as I can tell, the link is to “We Hunted The Mammoth”, a respected, often interesting feminist site. What’s the problem?

    ETA: Login took me back to the main comment box. Was meant to be a reply to Captain Oblivious.

    • I am open to the possibility that “FalloutFan2”, who inspired the Mammoth post by starting a Reddit thread with his sexbot / Venus-colony fantasy, is a Poe.

      • dmsilev

        I was sort of thinking along the same lines. I mean, wouldn’t a “serious” Reddit poster suggest a Mars colony (with sexbots, of course) rather than Venus. After all, we all know that women are from Venus and that just won’t do.

        • “Venus colony” was perhaps a shout-out to “The Marching Morons”.
          And FalloutFan2 contrasts the male settlers with their masturbation devices to

          the women [who] will just keep using their dildos because they are emotionless beings who care little for actual interaction

          That has to be satire.

          • Dennis Orphen

            Definitely satire. Every one knows that it’s men who are the emotionless beings who care little for actual interaction, or so I have been told, repeatedly to my face, by the women in my life.

            • men who are the emotionless beings who care little for actual interaction

              No, no, in men it’s Stoical detachment, which is a good thing.

              • Dennis Orphen

                I stand corrected (and detached by nature).

  • Jeezus, even when you know this crap–like: grew up with it–it is still incredibly shocking. I mean, when I was a little girl it was assumed that women on their own were fair game. Women living alone were routinely warned never to let their full name be used in the phone book because of course you would get harrassing phone calls. Women alone couldn’t be seated in some restaurants because of course they were assumed to be prostitutes.

    I was just talking a few minutes ago to some of the other women on my street. One of them told me that her family was the first divorced family on the street and that her mother was not welcome in many houses because as a single woman she was thought to be a potential homewrecker, and she and the other children were not permitted to play with certain other families because of the taint of being from a divorced home. One of the other, even older, women then described how right after her husband left her another neighbor came over and offered to “be there” if she needed his “services.” Its easy to forget, and then so enraging to remember, that women are still in the public sphere only on sufferance and that our lives are hemmed in by the behavior of a small but extremely vocal and dangerous minority.

    • Karen24

      When I was doing my first hearing as a baby lawyer, my opponent complained to my boss that I wasn’t friendly enough. To the guy I was suing to yank his license for his livelihood. That one still rankles.

    • petesh

      In 1963, in London, a 14-year-old friend of mine’s mother remarried and there was a rehearsal, at which he asked “Does the bride’s son usually stand here?” and he and everyone else burst out laughing at the absurdity of the bride having a son.

      In 1972 or so, in California, a friend of mine lost her house and all her credit when she divorced her deadbeat husband (who kept the credit rating she had built up).

      Some things have changed, but nowhere near enough.

    • efgoldman

      One of them told me that her family was the first divorced family on the street and that her mother was not welcome in many houses

      My best friend in first grade ca. 1951 (at Devotion school in Brookline) was the child of a divorced, single mom – who worked!
      My mother, who also worked (she was an RN) told me about it in hushed tones, and made me promise never to speak about it.

    • Halloween Jack

      Nurses in hospitals still, as a matter of routine, don’t put their last names on their employee badges, for just that reason.

  • Dennis Orphen

    Precious Metal.

  • heckblazer

    I was expecting a discussion of the Westworld TV series

    • I have thoughts on that too.

      • yeah, but you’re a chick, so they are probably wrong.

        Here, let me ‘splain it to you….

        (sorry, I dunno the code for sarcasm tag)

        • Redwood Rhiadra

          The code is “code”. There’s even a convenient button.

      • William Berry

        Would love to see you post on that.

        I just started watching the show (couple of episodes) and haven’t yet decided what to think of it.

        So far, I am getting that the androids value their own existences as much as humans do, some might not be aware that they are not “real”, some are suffering real pain and grief.

        Maybe.

        • I’ll definitely do a “Westworld” post, then.

      • ColBatGuano

        Yeah, I’d read that thread.

  • The kickstarter for my Lamprey-themed novelty fleshlight project is still accepting funds.

    • Woodrowfan

      will there be a shark model as well? That’d do well..

      • Let me just say “pharyngeal teeth”, because excuses to use the term so seldom arise.

        • Derelict

          Let’s not carp on pharyngeal teeth. I’ve always thought there’s some thing fishy about the whole thing, and that makes it hard to swallow.

    • Halloween Jack

      I’d be willing to bet that Bad Dragon [very NSFW site] may have something along those lines already.

  • Mock all you want, but speaking as a man I have never artificially superimposed different contrived existentialisms on reality, and neither have any of the other men I know. That part at least is true. It’s just not who we are. Though not all of us are necessarily satisfied with an existence of philosophical stoicism either, tbh.

    • vic rattlehead

      It’s a shame the dudebros have claimed stoicism. I’ve seen a bunch of tools acting like they fucking rediscovered Epictetus or some shit.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        if they’re talking about it they aren’t doing it right…

        • lunaticllama

          This most certainly is true, a practicing stoic would never admit to it – but I did not know this was associated with dudebros. It’s definitely a part of the online personal finance world as a thing and has seen some mainstream books written about it in the past couple of years.

  • I’ll just leave this here.

  • Harkov311
  • Origami Isopod

    In b4 Glenn Reynolds reference.

  • N__B

    Dicks getting ripped off is the appropriate theme for this OT comment: I’m in the worst motel in the world, in Hillside, Illinois, and the Cubs are playing on two tvs in the bar that are about five seconds out of sync with one another.

    DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

    • Dennis Orphen

      Al Capone is buried in Hillside at the Mount Carmel Cemetery.

      • N__B

        I’m sure his grave is nicer than this dump.

        I’d go visit Al, but I’m leaving early tomorrow for San Antonio, because this part of the election cycle is obviously the time to go to Texas.

      • Halloween Jack

        Geraldo Riviera is probably banned from entering the graveyard, with or without a sledgehammer.

    • BruceFromOhio

      Experienced that at an airport bar in Baltimore. Found myself watching the early NASCAR so I could turn to the late NASCAR to see it again.

  • (((Hogan)))

    Is that a still from The Tenth Victim, or are there other cinematic bra-guns out there?

    • I am given to understand that the Austin Powers killer sexbots were a homage to The Tenth Victim.

      • (((Hogan)))

        Ah, thanks. I’ve never seen a Mike Myers movie. Strange but true.

  • efgoldman

    Vacuumslayer, surely your link is a parody.

    Surely.

  • BruceFromOhio

    bspencer, where did you find that photograph? The ‘do’s are right out of the 1960’s.

    • It’s from “Austin Powers.”

    • weirdnoise

      Now, can you imagine sitting behind someone with that ‘do in a movie theatre?

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