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The Ballad of OLDMAN CAT versus the CANDIED INSECTS

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Part One

1. I take a nice long bubble bath in an apartment empty but for me and the OLDMEN CATS

2. I sleep for eight hours alone but for me and the OLDMEN CATS

3. I awake to find half my house covered in tiny black insects carrying eggs that are neither ants nor fleas nor anything else about which the Internet knows

4. This place is weird

5. And hopefully they disappear as quickly and magically as they appeared

UPDATE: There were half as many invading insects early this morning and about a third of half by noon, so if my math’s correct they should all have un-infested my house by day’s end

Part Two

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

SEK: No, you don’t.

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

SEK: Repetition isn’t argument.

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

SEK: I’ll bite. What’s candy?

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

SEK: What KIND of candy?

OLDMAN CAT: CANDIED CEILING FANS GEOCITIES RECENTLY DRIED PAINT TURKEY

SEK: I could have sworn I was awake.

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

SEK: Or maybe you’re just weird.

OLDMAN CAT: CANDIED HERRING PIE SOLAR POWER SEAT RAIL THOSE INSECTS ALL OVER ALL THE WALLS

SEK: Definitely asleep — wait, what insects all over all the walls?

OLDMAN CAT: CANDIED ONES DAMN IT

SEK: Have I lost my mind, am I still asleep, or are you saying you want actual insects made of actual candy?

OLDMAN CAT: WANT CANDY DAMN IT

ALL LINKS RESOLVE AT MY FACEBOOK PAGE OR OLDMEN CATS’

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