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Is this what they mean by work probe?

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Complete the sentence:

Trying to stem rising health-care costs, some companies, including retailer Wal-Mart Stores Inc., are …

a. Paying all employees a living wage.

b. Requiring strict adherence to OSHA laws.

c. Paying firms like Castlight Healthcare Inc. to collect and crunch employee data to identify, for example, which workers are at risk for diabetes, and target them with personalized messages nudging them toward a doctor or services such as weight-loss programs.

d. Helping employees relax with 10-minute sessions in an Anger Room with a Wal-Mart exec of their choosing.

Of course it’s c. And of course it’s weirder than it sounds at first. For example, here’s a breakdown of how employees might start to get emails and text messages about their health.

Typically, when a company hires a firm like Castlight, it authorizes the firm to collect information from insurers and other health companies that work with the client company.

And then.

Employees are prompted to grant the firm permission to send them health and wellness information via an app, email or other channels, but can opt out.

I don’t see the bit where the employee is given the opportunity to say “Sure, you may look at my personal health information” or “No, butt out,” because without the dubious excuse of providing information the employee wants, there’s no point in allowing anyone to crunch his or her health care data.

And I must admit that I’m less than impressed by the idea of companies stirring data with a stick to see what clumps together.

An employee who spends money at a bike shop is more likely to be in good health than someone who spends on videogames, Mr. Greenspun says. Credit scores can also suggest whether an individual will be readmitted to the hospital following an illness, he says. Those with lower credit scores may be less likely to fill prescriptions and show up for follow-up appointments, adds Mr. Greenspun.

Wait.

Welltok Inc., whose clients include Colorado’s state employees, has found that people who vote in midterm elections tend to be healthier than those who skip them, says Chris Coloian, the firm’s chief solutions officer. In general, midterm voters are more mobile and more active in the community, strong indicators of overall health, he says.

Hmm. So. I guess the video game buyer gets a chipper text reminding her to go outside and play. And the poor patient gets an email … telling him it’s better to pay for that refill than to eat? And the person who doesn’t vote during mid-terms … Fuck it.

“Prediction with no solution isn’t very valuable,” says Derek Newell, Jiff’s chief executive. “If we can’t get people to do something, then that prediction has a value of zero.”

Also, stupid. But here’s why an employee might start getting messages telling her to see an obstetrician.

To determine which employees might soon get pregnant, Castlight recently launched a new product that scans insurance claims to find women who have stopped filling birth-control prescriptions, as well as women who have made fertility-related searches on Castlight’s health app.

That data is matched with the woman’s age, and if applicable, the ages of her children to compute the likelihood of an impending pregnancy, says Jonathan Rende, Castlight’s chief research and development officer. She would then start receiving emails or in-app messages with tips for choosing an obstetrician or other prenatal care. If the algorithm guessed wrong, she could opt out of receiving similar messages.

Ha ha ha. Sorry we stuck our noses in your reproductive health ladies, no hard feelings.

And it might work great for preventing back surgery too.

Spinal surgery, which can cost $20,000 or more, is another area where data experts are digging in. After finding that 30% of employees who got second opinions from top-rated medical centers ended up forgoing spinal surgery, Wal-Mart tapped Castlight to identify and communicate with workers suffering from back pain.

Suuuuure Wal-Mart sends employees who are suffering from back pain to top-rated medical centers. Pays for the limo ride and everything. It also does everything in its power to make sure employees never experience back pain in the first place. Oh look, there’s the 5:10 Pegasus Express to downtown Rainbowville…

I kid. The 5:10 Pegasus is local only.

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