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Most Pathetic Attempt at Pandering Award for 2016 is Already Won

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I know Carly Fiorina is finished, but this is beyond pathetic.

I believe this is what the kids call #LOL

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  • Barry Freed

    Can we get an explanation of that for those of us who hate on the football?

    • N__B

      She’s cheering for Iowa over her team.

      • efgoldman

        She’s cheering for Iowa over her team.

        She’s not cheering for anyone except herself. I doubt she even knows or cares what a football looks like, or what the mascots are.
        Maybe ol’ Snarly will run for an achievable office next – maybe city council or state rep, where her lies don’t matter or nobody cares.

    • Fighting Words

      Carly Fiorina is a graduate of Stanford University (“the Junior College” in Palo Alto, as it’s known). Stanford, as the Pac-12 Champion, is playing the University of Iowa in the Rose Bowl.

      Traditionally, the champion of the Pac-12 Conference plays the champion of the Big 10 Conference in the Rose Bowl on January 1 (Michigan State was the Big 10 Champion, but was playing in the Cotton Bowl in the BCS Playoff, University of Iowa was the 2nd place team).

      Iowa, is the state where the Iowa Caucus is held. She is cheering for Iowa to win to pander to voters for the Iowa Caucus.

      As a sports fan, and a Pac-12 partisan (I went to another Pac-12 University), the problem with this strategy is pretty apparent. College football fans prize loyalty to your alma mater. Not supporting your team in a bowl game, or any major game, is seen as an act of betrayal and, in this instance, what she is doing is pretty transparent.

      • weirdnoise

        In this instance, what she is doing is pretty transparent.

        Fiorina has never engaged in subtlety. I’d rate her hubris as equal to Trump’s — if only she were better known (and not a woman — conceit just isn’t acceptable in women it seems) she’d be doing as well or better. She’s smarter than Trump, as useless as that might be for a candidate.

        • Nobdy

          Eh she’s smarter than Trump but much less entertaining. A lot of his appeal is in his showmanship, and he does that much better than she does.

          Sarah Palin is more of a female Trump than Fiorina in my view, and the right wing liked her for the most part. At least the part that likes Trump.

          • CrunchyFrog

            Eh she’s smarter than Trump but much less entertaining.

            Based on what?

            Her success in business, such as it was, was based on acting highly confident at all times even if her facts were wildly incorrect and her knowledge of the situation non-existent. Unfortunately, common traits for CEOs these days. She has a lot in common with Trump, but he’s been doing the public thing for far longer than she has.

            But smarter? I don’t know on what basis I’d put either of them higher than the other on an IQ bar.

            • LosGatosCA

              No evidence that either one is smarter than the other.

              Plenty of evidence Trump understands the game he’s playing better and has much more success doing it.

              Trump will never tweet something like this, run a ‘demon sheep’ ad, or do something as transparently stupid as run a vanity campaign for a dark blue senate seat as a dark red Republican.

              So street and Tea Party political smarts – hands down to Trump.

        • Hogan

          There’s subtlety, and then there’s insulting the intelligence of Iowa voters. She might as well stand on the midway at the Iowa state fair and shout “HEY RUBE! YEAH YOU, HAYSEED! I’M ONE OF YOU!”

          • weirdnoise

            Yeah, I think that captures her biggest issue. One doesn’t get the sense that she has any respect for her supporters, or much of anybody for that matter. Trump can at lease feign a good-old-boy attitude.

            • BubbaDave

              Lease with an option to purchase.

              • Hogan

                “I know. You’ll buy the ground I’m standing on and have me torn down.”

        • cpinva

          “She’s smarter than Trump, as useless as that might be for a candidate.”

          assumes facts not in evidence. she’s a pretty good self promoter, but that’s about it. nearly destroying a company is not, in my book, evidence of great intellect, it’s usually evidence that you have no clue what you’re doing.

          for what it’s worth, Trump is a much better self promoter than Fiorina, and he’s been doing it publicly longer.

      • Nobdy

        Yeah. This is like if you met a cute girl in a bar, asked her out, she said she had a boyfriend but asked you to hold on for a second. Then her boyfriend shows up, she disembowels him in front of you and takes car keys and the wallet from the corpse. Then, hands and clothes still soaked in the guy’s blood, she’s like “Yeah! let’s go out.”

        Okay, not a great simile, but the point is that transparent betrayal is not a good look on anyone.

        • cpinva

          “Okay, not a great simile, but the point is that transparent betrayal is not a good look on anyone.”

          if you ask anyone at HP, my guess is that they would say it’s her normal.

        • Then her boyfriend shows up, she disembowels him in front of you and takes car keys and the wallet from the corpse. Then, hands and clothes still soaked in the guy’s blood, she’s like “Yeah! let’s go out.”

          GET OUT OF MY FANTASY LIFE.

      • EliHawk

        It’s stupid. And it’s not that hard to come up with something smarter. Make a campaign event: “Come watch the Rose Bowl with Carly, and gloat!” Make an ad “We’re on different teams today, but we all come together on Caucus Day” etc. It’s both transparent pandering and opens her up to the sexist “She’s a woman, she doesn’t really ‘get’ sports” attacks from your various local Iowa pigheads.

      • efgoldman

        Iowa, is the state where the Iowa Caucus is held. She is cheering for Iowa to win to pander to voters for the Iowa Caucus.

        Well, thanks for the explanation. None of us who read or commented on this post would have known any of that, otherwise, because nobody ever talks about football on this blog, and we’re all Trump and the opossum on his head, all the time.

        Condescension is a wonderful thing.

        • Hogan

          If you can tell exactly what level of detail Barry Freed was asking for, you’re way ahead of me.

        • Fighting Words

          Where was I being condescending? Commenter Barry Freed asked specifically, as someone who doesn’t follow football, for an explanation of Erik’s post. That’s what I gave. Believe it or not, not everyone who comments on this site reads all the football posts.

          • CP

            Believe it or not, not everyone who comments on this site reads all the football posts.

            Yeah. I needed the explanation too, as I couldn’t even have told you which state the Hawkeyes were from a minute ago, so thank you.

            • mikeSchilling

              Hawkeyes Pierce is from Maine.

              I understood what Carly was doing mostly because, as a Cal graduate, I’m familiar with the Rose Bowl (in the same sense that a Cleveland Browns fan is familiar with the Super Bowl, anyway.)

        • IM

          I thought the explanation helpful. I did guess she tried to pander but not in what sport. Could have been ice hockey and her university calgary for all I knew.

          • Peterr

            New Hampshire is playing Vermont in ice hockey tomorrow night. I am anxiously awaiting Carly’s “Go Wildcats – beat the Catamounts!” tweet tomorrow morning.

            • N__B

              Is a cat more dangerous if it’s wild or if it’s trying to mount me?

              AFAF.

              • Hogan

                Yes. Definitely.

                • Pseudonym

                  OLDMAN CAT should weigh in on this.

            • MacK

              She’s only a spellcheck mistake away from catamite there.

        • Bitter Scribe

          goldman: Chill. I like football and politics as much as anyone on this blog, and that tweet had me scratching my head at first. Condescension is no more wonderful from you than from anyone else.

          • The Dark God of Time

            Now we need to get off his lawn.

        • Emma in Sydney

          Quite useful for those of us in countries where a) we don’t have college football, b) we don’t have your kind of football (although we have at least 4 kinds), and c) yet we have an interest in U.S. Politics because of our craven pandering government’s tendency to follow yours into pointless, dangerous, criminal wars.

          • Fighting Words

            I actually lived in Sydney for 3 years (2003-05). I miss the place, and I miss the different codes of football in Oz. One of the great things about Aussies is that there are four different codes of footie, which everyone refers to as “footie.” And yet, everyone instinctively knows what type of footie everyone is talking about.

      • Duvall

        Carly Fiorina is a graduate of Stanford University (“the Junior College” in Palo Alto, as it’s known). Stanford, as the Pac-12 Champion, is playing the University of Iowa in the Rose Bowl.

        Well, Stanford is playing in the Rose Bowl. I’m not sure what Iowa is doing.

        • erick

          Iowa is doing what they always do in the Rose Bowl:-)

        • Hogan

          In the Midwest they call it “showing up” and leave it at that.

          • cpinva

            well, according to woody allen, that’s what at least half of life is.

      • Stanford University (“the Junior College” in Palo Alto, as it’s known).

        Huh?

        • Fighting Words

          It’s an in-joke – especially if you went to one of Stanford’s rivals. The official name of Stanford University is “Leland Stanford, Junior University” – named after Leland Stanford’s son, who died very young of pneumonia, I believe.

          • I am from Palo Alto, I know what the name of the school is.

            • IM

              yes, but perhaps a small minority of the readers here did not go Leland Stanford Junior university so we liked the joke explained.

            • cpinva

              I’m not from Palo Alto, so I needed the joke explained.

          • Darkrose

            Leland Stanford Junior (pause) University.

            As the acapella group Mixed Company described it:

            Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
            A tale of the Stanford red
            That started when a little boy
            Named Leland did drop dead.

        • The Dark God of Time

          The official name is Leland Stanford, Jr. The founder named it after his late son.

          (Edit). Great minds and all that. Yes, FW, he did die of pneumonia. A very common deadly ailment in those pre-antibiotic days.

        • Hogan

          Stanford was founded and endowed in the name of Leland Stanford’s son. Leland Stanford Jr., who died young. So the full name of the school is (Leland Stanford Junior) (University), which by the associative property becomes (Leland Stanford) (Junior University).

          ETA: Late to the party as usual. Is there any gin left?

          • DW

            I think Iowa got to it earlier this morning.

          • cpinva

            “ETA: Late to the party as usual. Is there any gin left?”

            check the tubs in the back.

  • Pseudonym

    And that’s just working out great for her and Iowa so far, isn’t it?

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      heh

      the Hawkeyes are sort of the Yankees of Iowa sports. this would be a lot more exciting if it were Iowa State… but Ames, once a drinking town with a football problem, is now just a town with a football problem

      • MAJeff

        but Ames, once a drinking town with a football problem, is now just a town with a football problem

        What are they going to do without the annual VEISHEA riots?

        There were several while I was in school there. The cops couldn’t break up the ones my freshman year, so they called in Johnny Orr to do it.

    • Philip

      Well, at least UM and OSU didn’t totally embarrass the conference…

      • Linnaeus

        Big Ten’s, what, 5-3 through yesterday? That’s not too bad.

  • Tyro

    I always assumed that Iowans expect such transparent pandering from their primary candidates and get deeply offended if they don’t go through those motions.

    • Ken

      I knew she should also have tweeted a selfie of her wearing overalls and eating a corn dog.

    • Ktotwf

      Meta-pandering

  • Roger Ailes

    Carly only drinks ethanol.

    • BubbaDave

      And the blood of laid-off humans.

      • cpinva

        and bathes in the blood of freshly slain female virgins.

  • sleepyirv

    The Pander Bear Awards aren’t ready to hand over the trophy yet. We have a very talented crop going into the early primaries and someone can come and steal the title from Carly.

    • Ahuitzotl

      let us devoutly hope it doesnt turn into the Pander Bare awards

  • Ormond

    Wow. As of 7:00pm Eastern, it is still the case that everything Carly touches turns to garbage.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Halftime score: Stanford 35, Iowa 0.

    Looks like Carly is as good as picking football teams as she is at picking acquisition targets.

    • AlanInSF

      The liberal media says it’s 35-0.

      • LosGatosCA

        Skewed scoring it’s a huge conspiracy against fly over country.

      • cpinva

        well, there’s 6 minutes left in the 4th, 38-9. IA could make a miraculous comeback! probably not.

        • Brent Musberger is such an idiot. After Iowa just scored he said “Guess who’s winning the second half!”

          • No one is playing for all the Tostitos in this game!

            • Wouldn’t that be the Fiesta Bowl? Or has it changed corporate sponsors?

              • It used to be. When Auburn lined up to kick the game winning field goal to beat Oregon, Musburger said “This one is for all the Tostitos.” It was the grossest line I’ve ever heard in a broadcast, beating out Dan Dierdorf’s hard-hitting analysis when he said “I wish I could be Jerry Rice for a day!”

                • MattT

                  Wouldn’t it compromise the ideals of amateurism if they let the players actually have any of the Tostitos?

              • Bill Murray

                Fiesta Bowl was sponsored by Battlefrog this year

                • Pseudonym

                  I was expecting the third level quarter to be a lot more brutal.

                • Bitter Scribe

                  Yeah, what is Battlefrog, exactly? I saw one of their commercials and I still don’t get it. Something to do with triathlons or ironman races, from what I could tell.

                • liberalrob

                  It looks like it’s one of those cross-country steeplechase enduro contests I’ve seen pop up in Facebook sidebar ads (“Tough Mudder” kept showing up for a while). Very “extreme”.

          • Duvall

            I imagine that was important to some select people.

          • efgoldman

            Brent Musberger is such an idiot.

            I haven’t missed ol’ Brent a bit on the weekly college FB broadcasts. In fact, I was happy not to hear him.
            According to him. whatever the players do, it’s always part of the coach’s great master plan.

            • mikeSchilling

              I remember Musburger being the play-by-play announcer for the MLB All-Star game one year. Some C-list celebrity stopped by the booth and he stopped paying attention the game while they chatted.

              This was a radio broadcast.

  • Fighting Words

    Dear Mrs. Fiorina,

    Please pick the Seattle Seahawks to win the Super Bowl.

    Sincerely,

    A 49ers Fan

    • A 49ers Fan

      Speaking of #LOL

      • AlanInSF

        I believe that would be #ROTFL

        • LosGatosCA

          #ROTFFLMFAO

          more precisely.

      • Fighting Words

        Hey, you can’t accuse me of pandering…

  • Bitter Scribe

    Final score: Stanford 45, Iowa 16.

    Iowa outscored Stanford in the second half, so according to Carly Fiorina logic, it was a tie.

    • Critiques of Fiorina’s tenure Iowa’s playing seem excessively focused on the outcome.

      • efgoldman

        Critiques of Fiorina’s tenure Iowa’s playing seem excessively focused on the outcome.

        Right. It’s the process that matters. After all, the process got Snarly multi-millions in severance. Although come to think of it, I’m sure that was her desired outcome, too – it just wasn’t HP’s.

      • Aaron Morrow

        Was that the 2015 award for pandering? In other news, I’ll need to steal borrow this if the Big Ten can’t pull off an upset or two.

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