Home / General / New Year’s Eve 2015

New Year’s Eve 2015


I hope everyone has a safe evening that in no way resembles a rocomedy that scored a solid 7% at Rotten Tomatoes.

Or Ben Carson’s presidential campaign.

As an aside: Who came up with the idea that women should stand on one foot – frequently while wearing heels – when kissing? You never see guys doing a half-assed attitude when they smooch. When the aliens show up and ask about this we’re going to be in big trouble.

Anyway, good luck.

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  • tsam

    Because of the famous picture of the sailor kissing the nurse in Times Square?

    • Which, of course, turns out to have been nonconsensual. So I guess the one leg in the air is meant to represent “help, I can’t get away”.

      • tsam

        Universal sign for OMFG GROSS

  • BiloSagdiyev

    That movie did stink. So many characters you didn’t really know enough to care about any of them.

    And could DeNiro be in a stinkier movie? Er, that’s not a good rhetorical question, and I just found out about “Killing Season” the other day and am eager to watch it and find out, because all sensors, captain, indicate that it what you would call “dreck.”

    • brad

      Imma just leave this here.

      • LosGatosCA
        • Ahuitzotl

          That looks terminally horrible, but I’m not seeing DeNiro in the cast?

    • Ahenobarbus

      Whatever the merits of Robert DeNiro (and there are many), choosing good scripts late career isn’t one of them.

      • tsam

        Seems like that’s not all that unusual. Michael Caine, Liam Neeson…Brad Pitt has been on a few awful shits too

        • efgoldman

          Michael Caine, Liam Neeson…Brad Pitt has been on a few awful shits too

          For which, I expect, they all got paid handsomely.

          • LosGatosCA

            Follow the money, good career advice for everyone.

            • ChrisTS

              Didn’t Michael Cain pretty much explain his late career choices this way?

              • N__B

                What explains Blame It On Rio?

              • Halloween Jack

                In reference to Jaws: The Revenge: “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is quite nice.”

          • tsam

            No criticism from me for any of that! Besides, sometimes a good actor can save a shitty movie.

    • JMP

      I just saw a preview for this, which looks absolutely dire even by late period DeNiro standards. It looks like the entire joke is right there in the title, and a mid January release normally means the studio knows they’ve got a pile of shit on their hands.

      • It’s getting plenty of tee vee advertising, whatever that’s worth.

      • cpinva

        the summary alone should be enough to drive millions to not see this.

  • jim, some guy in iowa

    a cast list like that says “poseidon adventure” to me

    • Ahenobarbus

      Poseidon Adventure was at least decent schlock.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        clearly what this movie needed was a large yet not reliably sea-worthy boat

        • cpinva

          in fairness to the builders, that was kind of a “once in a hundred years” type of wave.

    • CrunchyFrog

      I assume you mean the first one, as I gather a couple of remakes were made. At least that one was watchable, and kind of a fun fantasy (as in: what would it be like to be in that position?). Importantly, the characters were together through the movie with a clear goal in mind.

      A better comparison is some of the 70s disaster flicks that followed Poseidon. Earthquake and the Towering Inferno both were loaded with stars and subplots that no one cared about without any clear overarching goal bringing them all together. Of course, having a clear goal for the cast was not, by itself, the key to a good disaster movie, as Meteor proved.

      • N__B

        Those shitty movies made for great MAD satires. I quote “The Towering Sterno” on a regular basis.

        • tsam

          My most memorable MAD satire was of The Exorcist. It was a masterpiece.

        • njorl

          SCTV’s parody of “Towering Inferno” was a work of art – a 240 story building built for $50,000, with a nuclear reactor on top, and “Johnny Nucleo’s Top o’ the Reactor Revolving Restaurant” capping it all off.

  • Calming Influence

    You got something against a dame showing a little ankle? I think it’s the cat’s pajamas.

  • RobertL

    I was walking into my office building once, a few years ago, and this twenty-something straight couple stopped and kissed goodbye to each other right in front of me. The woman lifted one foot – like in that picture.

    After kissing she giggled and said, “I did the leg thing” and everyone in earshot laughed.

    • wjts

      There’s a picture of me and one of my best friends from college embracing in front of the church on her wedding day. We both did the leg thing on account of how we figured it would be kind of funny.

  • keta

    Gals use the leg kick to get more oomph into their kisses.

  • efgoldman

    When the aliens show up and ask about this we’re going to be in big trouble.

    We’re gonna’ have enough troubles explaining Trump and the opossum on his head. And football.

    • Nobdy

      Alien: “It damages the brain, often leading to a lengthy and incredibly painful decline, in which the injured party becomes so despondent that he may even take his own life, and even if he doesn’t he can live in crippling pain and disability for the rest of his natural life?”

      Human: “Yes.”

      Alien: “How barbaric! Surely you reserve such treatment for your most depraved criminals. What kind of monstrous act could result in such a punishment.”

      Human: “No. It’s mostly children. Often poor kids who are trying to build a good life from troubled circumstances. If they’re good enough at it they can even go semi-pro, where they are forbidden from being paid.”

      Alien: “Hold on. I must be misunderstanding. I thought this was a dangerous activity that evidence shows damages the brain so that…”

    • tsam

      And Toby Keith. Positively undignified

  • Nobdy

    Men can show passion and excitement in many ways, such as by holding the object of their affection more rightly, dipping her, or by showing some form of gentleness, as is unnatural for a rugged manly man.

    Women, being a weaker and more gentle sex, can, of course, only show any sort of passion or reaction through the gentle lifting of a dainty foot. In this she also acts as a conduit for the virility of the kisser, showing that his tender roughness has rendered her but putty in his manly hands, causing her to involuntarily lift a foot as an uncontrollable reaction to his passionate embrace.

    In this way the foot lift shows both the demure vulnerability of the kissed and the virile power of the kisser (for the man is always the kisser and the woman always the kissed. It’s just nature!)

    Imagine if a woman were to do something crazy and unnatural, like dipping the man who was kissing her. Anarchy would reign! The world would lose balance.

    Rick Santorum would be in a three way marriage with a frog and a gerbil within a week!

    • I bet Rick Santorum’s 3-way Frog & Gerbil Marriage would be a better movie than New Year’s Eve.

      • cpinva

        his current wife would, I am certain of it, be thrilled to be released from her present circumstances.

    • BubbaDave

      Rick Santorum would be in a three way marriage with a frog and a gerbil

      Still a better love story than Twilight.

      • Ken

        Team Necrophilia or Team Bestiality?

  • My guess has always been that it’s an exaggeration of the posture of a shorter person kissing a taller person — first on tiptoes, and then on tiptoes with one leg slightly lifted, and then the ridiculous full lift. To do that, the woman has to be leaning into the man and being actually held up, which satisfies the bullshit patriarchal power trip.

    (Note that heels simulate the “tiptoes” effect already.)

    I’ve seen women affect it in real life but it looks pretty fake, probably because they didn’t actually expect their partner to prop them up in the process.

    • Thirtyish

      That would be my guess as well. In addition to the aforementioned callback to the iconic “romantic” Times Square kiss photo, the (perhaps subconscious) intent would appear to be having the female partner look a bit vulnerable and physically unstable, needing the propping up of a man. It’s not romantic to me–along with being a subtle patriarchy reinforcer, it’s a shallow cliche at this point, but then again for a whole lot of people, shallow cliches are the essence of romance.

  • DAS

    You never see guys doing a half-assed attitude when they smooch

    Hey now! You’ve never seen me smooch, have you?

    Actually, Mrs. DAS is a wonderful life partner and lovely person. But she is about 4 inches shorter than I. Which means I have to slouch down quite a bit when smooching. She complains that I shouldn’t slouch, but how else am I going to meet her at lip/eye level?

    • BubbaDave

      A friend of mine in high school was a 6’2″ Scandinavian-American guy dating a 4’10” Asian-American girl. He looked like the Human Question Mark when they slow-danced at prom.

      • DAS

        My maternal grandparents were like this height-wise, but both were Ashkenazim

  • Mike in DC

    Happy Presidential Election Year, Everyone!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I believe the leg raise is supposed to be an indicator of approval/arousal. Somewhere between a thumbs up and an erection, on the physical indicator of enthusiasm scale.

  • jamesepowell

    I always thought it started as a dancer thing that people saw in movies then copied.

    • cpinva

      “I always thought it started as a dancer thing that people saw in movies then copied.”

      and probably came with the standard, “Don’t try this at home kids, these are highly trained professionals.” warning.

  • The female humanoid is performing a ritual dance that symbolizes being “swept off her feet”.

    And not to worry about the aliens. All three sexes stand on tippy-tentacle & flail their other tentacles (& antennae) about wildly when they [UNTRANSLATABLE].

    And a toast to all, w/ hope the yr. is the best possible. Really.

  • AndersH

    I was actually disappointed with that movie, because the credited script writer had written one of the best Xena episodes :(

  • ChrisTS

    Happy (if late) New Year to All!

  • Spoffin

    As a film trope it’s older than that Times Square photo:


    “Though the trope originated earlier, one of The Hays Code’s dumber demands required that women, in love scenes, at all times have “at least one foot on the floor” (in other words, no love scenes in bed)”

    Legally prohibited from sweeping her off her feet…

  • Halloween Jack

    I think it’s supposed to suggest the first stage in foreplay:

    1. Woman lifts one leg
    2. Woman lifts both legs, man has to put both hands under her buttocks to help support her weight
    3. Woman wraps legs around man, if they weren’t wearing clothes they’d be doin’ it.

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