Apparently Living SEK’s Life Now
By 
I confess to being a bit envious of SEK when he posts stuff about the crazy conversations he has with the kooky characters in his life. But SEK can SUCK IT because people are now having crazy conversations with and around me.
First some context. I live in a neighborhood with a veritable horde of pre-teen girls. Seriously, there are tons of them and I’m VERY FRIGHTENED. No, I kid. They are all dolls and they are very kind to my son. At times a lot of the horde will converge on my lawn, playing with each other and–very sweetly–with my son. The following is a conversation between two 9-year-old girls who were sitting on my front porch. I will call them “E” and “G.”
E (bouncing ball): “I wonder if the strongest man in the world could throw this ball into the sky so hard it touches the sun.”
G (she is super-mature): ” That wouldn’t happen. It wouldn’t make it through the atmosphere because it would catch fire. And when it re-entered the atmosphere it would be a flaming ball of death.”
E:” Cool. ”
Me: *laughs uproariously*
And also…my internet pals send me things…
Internet Pal 1: Sends me link to a bloody tampon Halloween costume
Internet Pal 2: Sends me link to Sexy Potato costume
Me to Internet Pal 1: “Someone just sent me ‘Sexy Potato.'”
Internet Pal 1: “Someone just sent you Channing Tatum?”
BAM!!! Suck it, SEK!!!