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Today in Historical Sex Toys


If you ever wanted to read about the discovery of a rather sizable 18th century dildo in Poland, here’s your chance.

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  • jim, some guy in iowa

    it was taken away for “maintenance”?

    somehow that reminds me of the ending of ‘raiders of the lost ark’

    • heckblazer

      I’d say “We have top men working on it right now” means something different in this context.

      • Shakezula

        They’ll get to the bottom of this.

    • busker type

      Hey guys, I gotta take this and go do some “maintenance.”

      • Origami Isopod

        “It needs some lubrication.”

  • efgoldman

    …and of course it’s just coincidence that you dropped this on top of bspencer’s post.

  • wjts

    Several remains of wooden swords found nearby suggest the site was a fencing school.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    • DrDick

      Actually, that should be “in those days.” I would add that I have actually seen “fencing school” used in that sense.

  • rea

    When you said, “a rather sizeable 18th Century dildo in Poland,” the natural assumption would be that you were talking about Augustus the Strong. Apparently not.

    • wjts

      Sincere thanks for that link – without it, I might never have learned about the ancient and noble sport of fox tossing.

      • weirdnoise

        Things like that (fox tossing) make me ashamed of my species. But never surprised.

        • Good times.

        • rea

          There are plenty of species that would toss foxes if they could get away with it.

        • mtraven

          The Swedish envoy Esaias Pufendorf, witnessing a fox-tossing contest held in Vienna in March 1672, noted in his diary his surprise at seeing the Holy Roman Emperor Leopold I enthusiastically joining the court dwarfs and boys in clubbing to death the injured animals; he commented that it was remarkable to see the emperor having “small boys and fools as comrades, [which] was to my eyes a little alien from the imperial gravity.”

          It’s sort of like Obama putting his feet on the oval office desk.

        • Far better than dwarf tossing.

      • busker type

        what? that has to be made up.

        • Origami Isopod

          People baited bears; why wouldn’t they toss foxes?

      • pianomover

        Is it anything like picking up chicks?

      • See also Cock throwing.

  • KmCO

    T’is a bit short.

    • steverinoCT

      I was prompted to “Log In To Reply.” Just sayin’.

  • rmgosselin

  • sparks

    Sorry, they already had history lessons on dildos in an anime I watched about a year ago.

  • M31

    Time for a song! The dildo song, by Thomas Morley, ca. 1600:


    yes, the word ‘dildo’ had its present meaning back then

  • kingchazs

    The Earl of Rochester wrote a jaunty little poem called Signor Dildo in the late 17th century. See http://allpoetry.com/Signior-Dildo

  • Malaclypse

    Filled with bristles???

    • KmCO

      And a wooden tip…that can’t bode well for any orifice.

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