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Bitchcakes

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I’m not a fan of knee-jerk hipster-bashing; hipsters are fine, I guess. They do some cool stuff, they do some dumb stuff.  Sometimes they put flowers in their facial hair. Mostly I just don’t care a whole lot about hipsters. But if they are trying to make Bill Cosby ugly ’80’s sweaters happen, I will find each and every one of them and punch them in the throat. And I don’t mean that metaphorically, so go ahead and try to get me fired from that university I don’t work at.

Let me explain. I opened up my email to find an ad from Etsy. I ignore most ads, but once in awhile I’ll click to see if there’s anything that piques my interest. Well, I clicked on some weird, so Etsy picture of some dude wearing a scarf or something. It took me the site’s latest men’s fashion, and it was pretty much what you’d expect from Etsy fashions for men: v-neck tees with twee logos and such. But interspersed with all the boring stuff were sweaters–butt-ugly, incomprehensible sweaters. Vintage sweaters. Sweaters that better stay vintage or I swear to god I will go  a-throat-punching. If I see even ONE person ironically wearing an eye-assaulting Cosby sweater, I will lose my mind. Do not try to make this happen, hipsters. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

POINTS! for anyone who can tell me what this post title refers to.

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