I Don’t Like the “Ugly Friendless Virgin” Insult

It’s inevitable. Someone makes a comment/post about misogynists and someone comes along to say that said misogynists are probably ugly, sad, lonely, loser virgins. Aside from the fact that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin (at any age), this stereotype of misogynists does a disservice to everyone who’s concerned about combatting misogyny.

There are plenty of people out there who are not conventionally attractive who manage to have exciting, fulfilling romantic lives. That’s because people who are not conventionally attractive can also be sexy and interesting and there are plenty of people out there who understand this. Conversely, the idea that all misogynists are ugly, friendless virgins needs to die in a fire because it’s simply untrue. Do I think there is a sizable contingent of #GamerGaters who are…let’s say…lacking? Yes. But not everyone who hopped dick-first into #GamerGate fray is some pitiable shut-in. In fact, some of them are probably serviceable-looking and successful with women. (For values of “successful” I’m saying “able to trick a woman into the sack.”) Let’s stop with the “ugly virgin” trope. It’s not just problematic, it’s inaccurate.

I mean, look, King Caesar is a giant, pantsless cat-dragon and he does just fine.