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High Strung


This is helpful.

And the tweet of the day…

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  • Barry Freed

    He’s lucky it was just an umbrella he was white.

    • Hogan

      And in New Albany, Indiana! What are the odds?

      • Manny Kant

        I was going to be all on about how New Albany is the town right across from Louisville, and so might have a significant African American population. But it turns out it’s 85% white. Which, while less white than many places in the US, is still pretty damned white.

        • Hogan

          And the student population just about matches that. (I looked.)

    • McAllen

      Had he been black he’d be dead, the campus police would’ve released a video of a black guy shoplifting an umbrella, and Fox would be doing segments on how much more dangerous umbrellas are than guns.

      • Lee Rudolph

        Oh, umbrellas are all fun and games until you get on the wrong side of the Bulgarian KBG!

      • Nobdy

        More people who own umbrellas die every year than gun owners, that’s a fact. If you die at home, chances are there was also an umbrella in that home.

      • nixnutz

        I’m definitely in favor of strong umbrella regulation. Specifically I would require people to be licensed doormen in order to carry a golf umbrella in the city.

        • steverinoCT

          I hear ya– the sidewalks are only so wide. People now need to protect the tops of their shoes as well as the tops of their heads.

  • John Protevi

    The fourth sentence of the first tweet is what they really want to get across with all these ALERTS!!!!

    Follow instructions from authorities.

    • Run in circles! Be scared! Thank us! Thank us again!

      • Barry Freed

        Run in circles! Serpentine!

      • Hogan

        “When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn’t saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor, would you say it’s time for everyone to panic?”

        “Yes I would, Kent.”

        • “Now’s not the time for fear. That comes later.”

  • Mike in DC

    Does his last name happen to be Cobblepot, perchance?

  • At IU? Good thing is was an umbrella and not a chair.

  • joe from Lowell

    I was reading the police log at UMass one January day, and it included this gem:

    “Report of a man in a ski mask outside of ___________ Hall. Police responded. Determined that subject was dressed appropriately for the weather.”

    • Must be fun to be a bank guard in Fairbanks. Everybody who walks in is wearing a ski mask.

    • That reads like something out of the Atherton, CA police log.

  • kmannkoopa

    Identical incident happened 2 years ago at Rochester Institute of Technology.


    • Barry Freed

      Am I dreaming or didn’t an identical incident happen about a week or two ago? I think SEK may have even put up a story about it at Raw Story at the time.

  • Malaclypse

    The only thing that can stop a bad guy with an umbrella is a good guy nanny with an umbrella.


    • John Steed

      I beg your pardon?

      • njorl

        I never promised you a rose garden.

      • guthrie

        I think he was trying to say supercalefragelisticexpealedocious.

  • I’ll take this over dozens of Quick Draw McGraws responding to the “threat.”

    • DrS

      Yeah, this.

      But still.

  • elm

    A few years back there was an alert on my campus because a suspicious bag was found in a parking structure. They evacuated half of campus and locked everything down for a few hours. It turned out the bag was harmless but what got everyone concerned was that it had the word “BOMB” written on it in big letters. Because, of course, that’s what a bomber is going to write on his bomb to keep it nice and inconspicuous.

    • twbb

      Kind of like how bank robbers prefer the money be given to them in big sacks with dollar signs on the side.

      • Hogan

        And wear those black eye masks that don’t conceal anything.

        • jim, some guy in iowa

          the beagle boys ride again

    • efgoldman
    • Manju

      Because, of course, that’s what a bomber is going to write on his bomb to keep it nice and inconspicuous.

      But if one is going to bomb a place populated with folks like you, what better way to make your bag look unsuspicious than having the work “BOMB” written on it in big letters?

      At least that’s what Sharon Stone told me.

  • Brutusettu
  • njorl

    I wonder how many people are still locked in rooms with no signal.

  • Roger Ailes

    Stop! Don’t bumbershoot!

  • mikeSchilling

    You’ll be laughing out of the other side of your mouth when that guy helps Hitler overrun Czechoslovakia.

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