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Nixon on Panda Sex

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I’m not saying this is on the level of LBJ ordering pants, but Richard Nixon talking about panda mating patterns is not something you expected to hear when you woke up this morning. And look, he got his information from Bob Haldeman, so you know it’s reliable!

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  • mikeSchilling

    That guy was pretty likable. Maybe it was Rich Little.

    • Halloween Jack

      Nixon is a pretty interesting, complex guy when you read up on his personal history. He met Pat when they were both in a community theater production (Stephen King fans note: the play was titled The Dark Tower), he was a skilled pianist and accompanied Pearl Bailey when she performed at the White House, was an avid football fan and played it himself in college, and so on.

      But he was also very much the villain that he’s been made out to be, and in no small sense was regarded as by the American left well before Watergate. Up to a point, you can listen to some of the other tapes and say, well, most people say lots of things in private that they wouldn’t want to be made public, but then you reach a certain point and say, nope, I’ve never gone there and I wouldn’t. Hunter S. Thompson put it best in what can be described as an anti-eulogy: ” Nixon will be remembered as a classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest. But he also shit in our nests, and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory like a brand.”

  • joejoejoe

    The best pants LBJ ever had and they still cut his nuts like a wire fence?

    • Joshua

      It was only when he gained weight.

    • Autonomous Coward

      Poor Jumbo. :(

  • gorillagogo

    Really surprised this was a Loomis thread and not bspencer.

  • Autonomous Coward

    I came.

    • malindrome

      I saw. Did you conquer?

    • rea

      TMI

    • Malaclypse

      I did not need to know that Rule 34 applied.

      • Autonomous Coward

        You aren’t aware of all internet traditions then.

        There is porn of it. No exceptions.

  • So, anyway, we open up the panda crate and, wouldn’t you know it, the damn thing’s dead! Up-chucked it’s bamboo. True story.

    http://www.futurama-madhouse.net/scripts/2acv17.shtml

  • Alvin Alpaca

    Misleading headline. I thought we were going to see Nixon get it on with Ling Ling.

  • postmodulator

    Has everyone heard the thing where LBJ is on the phone with J. Edgar Hoover asking him how to spot a homosexual, after that aide of LBJ’s got busted? I’ve rarely laughed as hard. You can practically hear Hoover oozing sweat over the phone line.

    Slate has a transcript but I’m not finding the recording.

    • PhoenixRising

      Thank you. I needed that. Transcript was sufficient.

  • John not McCain

    [Margaret Trudeau] told us that she sat next to Nixon at dinner and he didn’t talk to her the whole time until he turned around and told her about the sex life of a panda, and that was it.

    Andy Warhol, 1/16/78

  • Joe_JP

    we want to be sure they don’t come over here and die

    They were due to come here April 1st. Seems suspicious.

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