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A Mandate Hobby Lobby Can Believe In

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Hobby Lobby may not approve of a contraception mandate, but it will sure fight for a 4-year Bible study course in public schools mandate.

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  • rea

    So, they lobby school boards to teach their hobby?

    • Kurzleg

      Lobbyists for the hobbyists!

  • Todd

    Just reading about Hobby Lobby is some of the most effective contraception available.

    • kerFuFFler

      So is scrap-booking…

  • Gwen

    Dominionists think liberty means “do whatever we tell you to do.”

    Basically, they are Toddlers for Jesus (and Ice Cream, Give Us Ice Cream!).

    • Davis X. Machina

      You don’t have the freedom to be wrong, silly. That’s not the freedom our Puritan forbears braved the North Atlantic to obtain.

      • postmodulator

        If the Dominionists wanted to form their theocracy along the lines John Winthrop suggested, I’d at least listen to them. A jubilee year would be pretty sweet.

        • runsinbackground

          Your vision of Christianity is insufficiently Muscular, tovarich!

      • low-tech cyclist

        I heard Chuck Colson give a speech ~20 years ago whose tag line was “You cannot have the right to do what is wrong!”

        I found that idea to be rather disturbing. The freedom to be and do wrong by the standards of people like Colson is exactly what we need freedoms for. The whole point of the religion part of the First Amendment is that nobody gets to tell anyone else that they can’t do X because X is wrong.

        Anyway, a data point in support of DXM’s comment.

        • Did you actually choose to go see Chuck Colson talk?

        • mds

          “You cannot have the right to do what is wrong!”

          … said the man who helped illegally subvert our democratic system of government and served seven fucking months in prison for it.

          • Kurzleg

            Ends justify means, dontchaknow.

      • wjts

        “Now don’t you start arguing,” said the Ape Hobby Lobby, “for it’s a thing I won’t stand. I’m a Man Closely-Held Corporation: you’re only a fat, stupid old Bear Worker. What do you know about freedom? You think freedom means doing what you like. Well, you’re wrong. That isn’t true freedom. True freedom means doing what I tell you.”

        • md rackham

          Or as Rudy Giuliani put it:

          Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.

          • sibusisodan

            I spent a while hoping that was a spoof, before I looked it up.

            Could we generate energy from all the revolving Orwell must be doing in his grave over this kind of thing?

            • Actually, this isn’t unlike Hegel’s argument in the Philosophy of Right, IIRC. Ah yes:

              The Philosophy of Right (as it is usually called) begins with a discussion of the concept of the free will and argues that the free will can only realize itself in the complicated social context of property rights and relations, contracts, moral commitments, family life, the economy, the legal system, and the polity. A person is not truly free, in other words, unless he is a participant in all of these different aspects of the life of the state.

              I had no idea that Giuliani was a Hegelian!

              • Lurker

                And the classic snark about this is: “Freedom is the liberty to obey the police.”

  • Whiskers

    This curriculum should produce a generation of students qualified to stock the shelves and sweep the floors at hobby lobby stores.

    • Gwen

      Zing.

      • postmodulator

        And thanks to Hobby Lobby’s religious rights, that generation will form a new generation pretty quickly.

    • FridayNext

      And in their spare time, buy cheap arts and crafts junk to make religious themed scrapbooks and samplers.

    • Hogan

      I’m seeing a generation of students with Bibles that automatically fall open to the Song of Solomon.

      • Yeah, but the pages with all of the begetting will be sticking together.

        • Cheap Wino

          Have today’s internets. At least all the pr0n for this zinger.

    • Murc

      This curriculum should produce a generation of students qualified to stock the shelves and sweep the floors at hobby lobby stores.

      Both of those jobs require more skill and mental acuity than people think they do, and I guarantee that the folks doing them are working harder than most people here any given day.

      • Aimai

        Yes…but….without insulting blue collar workers its also possible to argue that a curriculum devoted to turning everyone into a low wage worker with zero options for higher level or original work in academia, science, medicine, or finance might be a bad idea.

    • sibusisodan

      And neither does he!

      Don’t shout too loud about it, or Ted Cruz

      • sibusisodan

        Oh, good. A reply that’s both incomplete and in the wrong place. I shall blame the beer.

  • daveNYC

    I assume they’re talking about the Old Testament, none of this hippy dippy New Testament crap? Or are they going to include every book that’s been revealed by God, because the Koran and the Book of Mormon probably have some interesting bits.

    • burritoboy

      The ancient Greeks often proposed that Homer had communicated with the gods in writing the Iliad and the Odyssey. Actually, I think increased teaching of Homer in the public schools would be a pretty good thing.

      • postmodulator

        “So, like, did he write all this before the nuclear power plant hired him or whatever?”

        • N__B

          I have yet to meet anyone who says “Homer Simpson? What’s Nathaniel West got to do with cartoons?” but I keep hope alive.

          • postmodulator

            The Simpsons had been on for four or five years before I read that, and I was pretty startled.

            • postmodulator

              I have used the word “pretty” in almost all my comments on this thread. What’s up with that?

            • N__B

              Apropos to the original post, things keep up the way the right wing wants and West’s novels will be prophetic again.

          • sparks

            When I first saw the show, I was struck by that but realized pretty quick it was a meaningless namecheck.

            • James Gary

              It’s not even a namecheck. “Homer” was the name of Matt Groening (creator of “The Simpsons”)’s father. Groening has said he never read “Day Of The Locust” until someone pointed it out to him.

          • burritoboy

            I’ll do you a deal: we put more Homer, more Simpsons and more Nathaniel West on the curriculum. I can live with that.

            • N__B

              Sold.

      • N__B

        If it increases usage of the phrase “comely and shapely thighs” then all is good.

      • Lurker

        In fact, if you read your Herodotus carefully, you can see that he strongly criticizes “the poets” as liars. I get the idea that the Greeks considered all poetry to be more or less inspired, because they had very strong traces of shamanism in their folk religion: Apollon was the god of medicine, poetry, music, divination and science. That is the whole working field of a primitive medicine-man. The point is that poetry is difficult: in a semi-literate society, you must learn it by rote. If you can compose new poetry with a quality where other people are ready to learn it by heart, you are inspired.

    • NonyNony

      I’m sure they think they mean the King James.

      They’re gonna be awfully surprised when they get to the court and find that, in a 5-4 decision, the Bible study course is upheld but only for approved translations that include all of the apocrypha.

      • Philip

        And it may only be taught by Quakers.

        • Malaclypse

          Silently.

    • Brownian

      I assume none of the biblical studies promoted by the Green family will involve scale drawings showing the relative sizes of camels and needle eyes.

  • Anonymous

    Nothing wrong with teaching students what the bible says, they can decide for themselves if they believe it.

    We should also teach them what Quaran says about kill non-Muslims

    http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/quran/023-violence.htm

    • Kurzleg

      Nothing wrong with teaching students what the bible says, they can decide for themselves if they believe it.

      Steve Green does not agree.

    • Malaclypse

      We can compare texts, even.

      Also.

      Ever notice that the people who most want to teach the Bible don’t seem to know what is in it?

      • gocart mozart

        From the link:

        “At least ten verses of the Holy Bible shall be read, without comment, at the opening of each public school on each school day. Any child shall be excused from such Bible reading, or attending Bible reading, upon the written request of his parent or guardian.”
        1950’s PA Statute (later found Un-Constitutional)

        Mal and I could have had much fun picking ten of our favorite verses to teach the kiddies. Too bad the SCOTUS ruled it unconstitutional in ’63.

        • DrDick

          Song of Solomon?

          • Jean-Michel

            2 Kings 2:23-24

      • Mike G

        Blind idolatry is essential to retarded right wing ideology.
        The people who venerate Ronald Reagan in the most toddler-like Big Daddy fashion would probably have been among his critics from the right back in the 80s. He took a lot of crap from the right for even talking to Gorbachev.

    • TribalistMeathead

      We should also teach them what Quaran says about kill non-Muslims

      Come back when you can speak English, Jennie.

      • Malaclypse

        Jennie usually pretends to be an atheist. While this might be Dagney, the inability to write in sentences means it is probably k.

        • Can’t wait till next batch of “pancakes”

          This pastime of “identifying the troll”, with guesses based on identifying markers is what makes this comment section so worthwhile. Please spare us no detail or theory… You must be proud?

          • Malaclypse

            See, now this is Real Jennie.

          • runsinbackground

            If you guys would pick a nym and stick with it, in the interest of engaging in a disrespectful exchange of ideas, then we wouldn’t have to amuse ourselves this way.

          • DrDick

            It is certainly far more enlightening than your excreta.

    • BigHank53

      I’ll start taking that particular snivel about Islam seriously when Christians start stoning adulterers, forcing their menstruating women to live in a shed in the backyard for the week, and passing up those filthy, unclean shrimp.

      • Anonymous

        That’s the difference between Christianity and Islam, Islam is a violent oppressive religion while Christianity teaches universal love.

        • Southern Baptist Convention

          The hell you say!

        • The Entire Robertson Family

          Ahem.

          • Uncle Ebeneezer

            The Jesus prophesied in the Book of Revelations seems to be a rare and notable exception to the concept of universal love.

        • Arnaud Amalric

          Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.

        • Tomás de Torquemada

          And that is why we must free Iberia from the vile influence of the Mohammedans and Jews.

        • rea

          Numbers 31:

          Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
          But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

          • Anonymous

            That was from before Jesus died for our sins.

            • StinkinBadger

              Before the death of his Only Begotten Son woke him up to how precious life was, God was…
              A bit of a drinker.

              • Hogan

                The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

              • BigHank53

                Before the death of his Only Begotten Son woke him up to how precious life was, God was…
                A bit of a drinker.

                I woke up late on Monday. Or maybe it was Wednesday. I don’t know. My mouth was gritty and foul, like someone had built a city in it and then burnt the fucker down. I staggered into the bathroom and took care of the necessary business without getting a good look at the hollow-eyed skeevy old fuck in the mirror.

                I could tell something was up as soon as I got out to the suite’s living room: the entourage wasn’t their usual selves. My posse’s mostly seraphim, guys who aren’t afraid to have a good time, and they were all just sitting there looking worried. No drinking, no jokes, no stupid Zippo tricks. Place felt like a fuckin’ tomb.

                “The fuck’s wrong with you guys?” I ask, and one of ’em just points out the window, so I go over and look out.

                Well. Last weekend might be a blur but I know My work when I see it. “Phone.” I say, and someone put one in my hand. I dial from memory.

                He’s not a friend, and he hasn’t been one for a long time. Ancient history. But there’s nobody better for this kind of job, and there never will be. He picks up.

                “I need you. You can name your price. I need a cover story for Sodom and Gomorrah like, yesterday. Day before yesterday would be even better……when I said name your price, did I stutter, Lucifer?”

                • Barry Freed

                  +666

                • Aimai

                  I love you for this. What’s it called? Farewell My Lovely Gomorrah?

                • Hogan

                  Sin Cities of the Plain?

              • MAJeff

                God was…
                A bit of a drinker.

                And a mean drunk at that.

                • Lee Rudolph

                  When He lost a weekend, it stayed lost.

                • Tom Waits

                  Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, there’s just God when he’s drunk.

                • Tom Waits

                  When He lost a weekend, it stayed lost.

                  Lord Buckley reference? If so then +∞

                • Barry Freed

                  Forgot to clear the nym filters.

            • Hogan

              Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

              Matthew 5:17

              • Brownian

                Ssh. True Christians know that only applies to Leviticus 18:22.

            • Malaclypse

              Mine wasn’t.

              And I take back the possibility of this being k. This is Dagney, in all his Opus Dei splendor.

              • Can’t wait till next batch of “pancakes”

                Bravo!

            • Jesus, you’re a moron

              die for your own goddamn sins, asshole

            • Col Bat Guano

              That was from before Jesus died for our sins.

              Oh, so all that stuff from Leviticus is bullshit then? Good to know.

            • Patti Smith

              …but not mine.

            • Malaclypse

              That was from before Jesus died for our sins.

              Marcionism really is an uninteresting heresy. Can’t we just settle on Antinomianism? Because those guys know how to have a good time…

            • DrS

              So I assume you have no problem in following the parable of the Good Samaritan and giving everyone health care?

        • Malaclypse

          16 And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the earth.

          2 And the first went, and poured out his vial upon the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast, and upon them which worshipped his image.

          3 And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.

          4 And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters; and they became blood.

          5 And I heard the angel of the waters say, Thou art righteous, O Lord, which art, and wast, and shalt be, because thou hast judged thus.

          6 For they have shed the blood of saints and prophets, and thou hast given them blood to drink; for they are worthy.

          7 And I heard another out of the altar say, Even so, Lord God Almighty, true and righteous are thy judgments.

          8 And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire.

          9 And men were scorched with great heat, and blasphemed the name of God, which hath power over these plagues: and they repented not to give him glory.

          10 And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast; and his kingdom was full of darkness; and they gnawed their tongues for pain,

          11 And blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds.

          12 And the sixth angel poured out his vial upon the great river Euphrates; and the water thereof was dried up, that the way of the kings of the east might be prepared.

          13 And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet.

          14 For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty.

          15 Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that watcheth, and keepeth his garments, lest he walk naked, and they see his shame.

          16 And he gathered them together into a place called in the Hebrew tongue Armageddon.

          17 And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne, saying, It is done.

          18 And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.

          19 And the great city was divided into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell: and great Babylon came in remembrance before God, to give unto her the cup of the wine of the fierceness of his wrath.

          20 And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found.

          21 And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.

        • Brad Nailer

          Oh, I get it. You’re a Mad-libs guy, only with phrases. Or maybe you’re the Lincoln robot. In either case, press on!

        • sharculese

          Christianity does not necessarily have to be violent, hateful trash, but your brand of Christianity is in fact, violent hateful trash and you are a bad person for subscribing to it.

          • sharculese

            Your god is an evil creep and his message is one of pure garbage.

            • Snarki, Child of Loki

              Considering all the nasty murderous genocidal crap that the “christian” god has on his rap sheet, the only proper course of action is to hunt the fucker down and scrag him.

        • ExpatJK

          “HA. HAHAHAHAHAAAA. You’re kidding right?”

          -European Jews of the last millennium or so

          • sharculese

            cue latest dagney temper tantrum about how it’s really the left who hate jews because something something kill all the brown people

            not that he’s violent or anything

            • ExpatJK

              Truly, those pogroms were a sincere expression of love. They were just sending those Jews to God that much more quickly than letting them live their lives would!

            • Can’t wait till next batch of “pancakes”

              It’s so cute the way you provide the likely troll posting before it even happens. Maybe you and Malcalypse can have a troll-off to determine who is the better judge of “which troll is it”?

              • Malaclypse

                I’m pretty sure sharc won’t fuck you, either, no matter how large we both loom in your fantasies. That’s one of your dumbprints, by the way.

              • Brownian

                Notice the timestamps on the comments.

                sharculese says:
                July 11, 2014 at 11:28 am
                cue latest dagney temper tantrum about how it’s really the left who hate jews because something something kill all the brown people

                not that he’s violent or anything

                Eight minutes later:

                Anonymous says:
                July 11, 2014 at 11:36 am
                The Jews were killed by Homosexuals pagans(many of them pretending to be Catholic; the Catholic Church was control by homosexuals for centuries.)

                The Roman Emperors who persecuted both Christians and Jews were homosexual.

                today it is the left the supports the so-called “palestinians” in their desire to kill the Jews.

                It is the left that wants to normalize homosexuality despite the fact that Judaism and Christianity have never co-existed with homosexuality in any society.

                If the left had their way every Jew would be dead.

                You were saying?

          • Anonymous

            The Jews were killed by Homosexuals pagans(many of them pretending to be Catholic; the Catholic Church was control by homosexuals for centuries.)

            The Roman Emperors who persecuted both Christians and Jews were homosexual.

            today it is the left the supports the so-called “palestinians” in their desire to kill the Jews.

            It is the left that wants to normalize homosexuality despite the fact that Judaism and Christianity have never co-existed with homosexuality in any society.

            If the left had their way every Jew would be dead.

            • sharculese

              It’s adorable how you always have an excuse for the violence committed in the name of your murderous hategod.

              Not convincing. But adorable. I always appreciate it when you guys admit you’re too scared to admit what you actually believe in.

              • ExpatJK

                Also, how does this “gay people posing as Christians killed everyone” weirdness square with stereotypes around homosexuality and effeminacy which often come from the right?

            • wjts

              …the Catholic Church was control by homosexuals for centuries.

              It is the left that wants to normalize homosexuality despite the fact that Judaism and Christianity have never co-existed with homosexuality in any society.

              One of these things is not like the other; one of these things just doesn’t belong…

              • Anonymous

                When the Catholic Church was controlled by homosexuals it wasn’t Christian it was pagan.

                • sharculese

                  This is what the scientists call a lie.

                • Malaclypse

                  Cool. Can you tell us the dates of homocontrol, so that we can then see the policies that would, logically, be instituted?

                • wjts

                  Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum:
                  HABEMUS PAPAM!
                  But he likes having sex with svelte, well-groomed 20-year-olds, so from here on out we’re giving up on Jesus and going with Antinous instead. Unfortunately, it’s too expensive to get everything reprinted, so here’s the deal: whenever you say or read ‘Jesus’, you have to think ‘Antinous’. If you don’t, some dingleberry in the distant future is going to look really stupid.”

                • MAJeff

                  So, you’re saying South Park had it right.

                • Pseudonym

                  But what about the times it was controlled by true Scotsmen?

                • Tyto

                  So “Christianity” didn’t exist at all from the rise of the Catholic church until Martin Luther? That’s . . . certainly one view.

                • Patriarch of Constantinople

                  So “Christianity” didn’t exist at all from the rise of the Catholic church until Martin Luther?

                  Hey now!

                • Ian Paisley

                  So “Christianity” didn’t exist at all from the rise of the Catholic church until Martin Luther? That’s . . . certainly one view.

                  And it’s correct!

                • Holy Apostolic Catholic Assyrian Church of the East

                  We’ve had it up to here with you Giannises-come-lately.

                • Lurker

                  So “Christianity” didn’t exist at all from the rise of the Catholic church until Martin Luther? That’s . . . certainly one view.

                  A view not endorsed by us Lutherans. At least my church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Finland is just the local instance of the one holy and catholic church, and it has an organizational continuity and apostolic succession all the way to the Pentecost. The Archbishops of Turku are the successors of St. Henry. The Lutheran reformation was just a reformation of external practice, with the repudiation of some non-biblical doctrines. The bishop of Rome just happens to disagree on some of these measures, leading to the fact that we are not in communion.

            • Yeggman

              So basically every brand of organized Christianity for 95% of its existence was secretly homosexual paganism. Will this be taught in the Hobby Lobby course? Also, what kind of paganism? As a fan of the Suomenusko faith I’m hoping they all worshipped Ukko.

              • KmCO

                …homosexual paganism. Will that be taught in the Hobby Lobby course?

                See, that would actually be a class I’d be willing to take.

                • ExpatJK

                  Sign me up too, that course sounds AWESOME. Way better than the creepy stuff Anon seems to want to talk about.

            • ExpatJK

              LOL WUT.

              That’s the only real response I can give something as stupid as what you’ve written.

              It’s also interesting that you think that large numbers of Germans, Poles, Ukrainians, Russians, Croats, etc, etc, etc in the last millennium were “Homosexuals pagans…pretending to be Catholic”. But then again, this level of stupidity is consistent with your previous writings on the thread.

              • Col Bat Guano

                Maintaining the population would have tough if all those Christians were gay. Or did they have a really good surrogate program back in Middle Ages? Was the Gutenburg press really an IVF device with a secondary use?

            • DrDick

              And a thousand angels danced on the head of a pin while the unicorns danced and the tooth fairy sang.

            • Bruce Baugh

              Universal love, ladies and gentlemen. Go ye and do likewise.

        • That’s the difference between Christianity and Islam, Islam is a violent oppressive religion while Christianity teaches universal love.

          So what’s your excuse for preaching hate all the time, Jennie? Got a special dispensation for hatemongering from the Lord?

          • sharculese

            This is dagney, who first showed up here to whine about how he wasn’t allowed to shoot cops. Because he practices a religion of peace.

            • Malaclypse

              Might not be. Dagney always used ‘sodomites’ rather than ‘homosexuals.’ We may have a shiny new troll.

              • MAJeff

                I remember a lunatic like this back in North Dakota.

              • Matty

                Yeah, Dagney’s got pretentions of Chestertonian grandeur. This is a different troll, whom I propose we ID as “Chick Tract” in the trollonomy.

                • Malaclypse
                • wjts

                  This town is coming like a Doom Town.

                • Malaclypse

                  This was always my favorite. “Death Cookie” is totally my band name.

                • wjts

                  I don’t think I could pick just one as a favorite. “The Last Generation”, “Big Daddy”, “Dark Dungeons”, “That’s Baphomet?”… the man’s a genius.

                • Malaclypse

                  The Last Generation

                  I hated that one. One of my major childhood traumas being a misfit among fundies was being sure that, come the Rapture, I’d be left behind. Took until my late 20s/early 30s before I stopped having mild panic attacks any time I found myself going somewhere I expected to find people, only to find nobody.

                • Malaclypse

                  BYW, do you know they are making a movie of Dark Dungeons?

        • wjts

          Funny sort of universal love you got there: Matthew 10:37-39: “Do not think that I came to bring peace on Earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

          • Brownian

            That was from before Jesus died for our sins, so stop giving my tax money to poor people and let them starve.

        • gocart mozart

          The Taliban takes all their Holy Book seriously and literally (which makes them f’ckd up) conservative Christians only take literally those portions which confirm their prejudices (which makes them somewhat less f’ckd up)

          • Aimai

            But more hypocritical and, one might argue, less sincere. Also, probably, lazier and more cowardly. Its pretty clear that even our most Taliban like Christians in this country are too lazy or too selfish to carry out the commandments they ostensibly believe in. They want to see Homosexuals stoned for gayness but they outsource that to Uganda. They want to see women and doctors killed for abortion but they outsource that to a few fanatics while rejoicing in it and supporting it financially. But most of them are simply on the sidelines of theocracy whreas there appear to be some sincerely believing Muslims who are willing to risk martyrdom and death for the faith. I don’ tthink the Christianists come out looking peaceful and loving from this comparison–they just look like cowards who won’t put their beliefs into action for fear of reprisals or backlash.

        • DrDick

          You might want to talk to Pope Urban II about that. Torquemada would also like a word with you.

        • Kyle

          Then why are most American Christians so chock-full of hatreds?

        • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

          “At least, that was my takeaway from Yad Vashem.”

    • Phil

      If only there were places they could go to have that taught. We could call them “churches” or some such.

      • Kurzleg

        Which is why Green wants Bible study mandatory. You can’t force kids to go to church, but you can force them to go to school.

        • KmCO

          Bingo.

          • Aimai

            Double plus Bingo, which will now also be played in school.

      • Anonymous

        No one is proposing to force kids to believe that the bible is true, we just want them to know what it says.

        A also favor teaching kids what Islam thinks and what Darwinism believes:

        http://americanrtl.org/Charles-Darwin-and-abortion

        If kids are taught the facts Christianity, Islam and Darwinism they will choose Christianity every time.

        • Hogan

          The curriculum says people should rest on the Sabbath because God did so after six days of creation, and says people risk God’s punishment if they do not obey him.

        • sharculese

          People who aren’t as consumed with hate as you don’t give a fuck what Charles Darwin says about abortion.

          I’m sorry, but we’re not going to be introducing your silly little propaganda class anytime soon. Maybe if you weren’t such a violent wack job you could get people to listen to you without forcing them?

        • ExpatJK

          What about the Ramayana? You seem to think there are only 2 religions, maybe 3 from the way you describe Darwinism. I’d choose the Ramayana, it’s a pretty good read.

          • Malaclypse

            Honestly, the Norse have the best read, all-around. And I’m told by a wide variety of trustworthy sources that Loki is pretty fucking hot.

            • Snarki, Child of Loki

              If you’re into that kind of thing, yes.

            • ExpatJK

              Ooh, left out Norse mythology. Those were good reads. Plus, Greek mythology was pretty awesome.

              • Malaclypse

                Too much bull-fucking, not enough walrus. You’ll never reach the Youth of Today without some walrus love.

                • ExpatJK

                  DAMMIT. Needs more walrus.

                • rea

                  Getting fucked by a shower of gold would seem to fit right in with rightwing policy . . .

                • KmCO

                  Coo coo ca choo.

            • That Thor guy is apparently real eye candy, if you like them big and dumb.

              That’s what my womenfolk tell me anyway.

              It just occurred to me that I should be grateful they like them big and dumb…

          • Kurzleg

            I’d go with Bokononism, myself. But then I’m a sucker for Vonnegut.

          • Kyle

            Everyone is a non-believer. There are an estimated 2500 identifiable religions in the world, and nobody believes in all of them.

        • Malaclypse

          OMG, a 19th-Century Englishman was racist? This changes everything!!!

          Also, can we teach the version of Christianity that calls your church Mystery, Babylon The Great, The Mother Of Harlots And Abominations Of The Earth? Because, let’s face it, that’s pretty descriptive.

          • MAJeff

            The funny thing is how they think scientifically-minded folks treat “On the Origin of Species” exactly as they fundamentalists claim to treat the Bible, as the inerrant word of a prophet instead of as synthetic piece of scientific theory asking to be tested and refined.

            • wengler

              To the ignorant, ‘written in a book’ is the best sort of evidence that something is true. If you were to try and teach them to be skeptical and examine whether or not what they are reading was true, their whole universe would fall apart.

            • Brownian

              My partner is a devout Newtonian, where I was raised Leibnizite.

              Fortunately, we’ve found a way to integrate our respective faiths.

              • Bruce Baugh

                Oh, good. It’s terrible when a relationship is in fluxions.

                • weirdnoise

                  I find your comment derivative.

          • DrDick

            Actually, Darwin argued in The Descent of Man that all varieties of humans essentially had the same capacities.

        • LeftWingFox

          It’s funny that you think Darwinism is a faith.

        • Brownian

          No one is proposing to force kids to believe that the bible is true, we just want them to know what it says.

          Are you sure you and the Green family want to know what it says?

          Matthew 19:21-22:

          Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

          When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

          Mark 10:21-22:

          Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.

          At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

          Luke 18:22-23

          When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

          When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy.

          Most of the Gospels aren’t very right-wing, and Jesus did a lot of hanging around with prostitutes.

          You’d probably find the Quran much more to your taste.

          • Brownian

            Actually, the hanging out with prostitutes part is the one way in which Republicans emulate Jesus.

          • Bill Murray

            Most of the Gospels aren’t very right-wing,

            well 3 of the four are really just repeats of each other, so its probably more like half bring left wing

    • John (not McCain)

      The bible says conservatives are evil. I agree that students should be taught that.

      • MAJeff

        I rather like the part about the publicly pious just needing to STFU already.

    • DrDick
  • Kurzleg

    Look, there’s nothing wrong with a government mandate if it’s a godly one. Just look at the way Jesus used the Roman government to implement his teachings!

    • Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus Augustus

      Don’t look at me, all I wanted was to cross a damn river.

      • Marcus Aurelius Valerius Maxentius Augustus

        Think of all the trouble that would have been avoided had I won, you thrice-damned son of a harlot.

        • Flavius Claudius Julianus Augustus

          I tried to tell everyone it was a mistake, but no one listened.

          • Davis X. Machina

            The playoff bracket system you guys used in 69 A.D. was really the best way to sort this sort of thing out.

  • Stag Party Palin

    Not being a woman, or of school age, or employed by Hobby Lobby, I nevertheless have this urge to test the Greens’ faith by probing them with the pontifical staff. Repeatedly. With an unlit bonfire at the ready.

  • KmCO

    But of course. Dumbing down America’s students with a Bible curriculum designed by Republican evangelicals to produce more Holly Hobby Lobbys.

  • Brad Nailer

    I like this part: “Here’s a book that’s impacted our world, unlike any other, and you’re not gonna teach it? There’s — there’s something wrong with that.”

    The fact that the Koran didn’t seem to enter this person’s mind as an equivalent text is thought-provoking, to say the least.

    • Uncle Ebeneezer

      What a a great case for teaching On the Origin of the Species!!

    • ExpatJK

      Yes, quite the omission, isn’t it.

      Also if we’re going by the standard of books that affected the world, surely we ought to put The Communist Manifesto and Mein Kampf up there too?

    • BigHank53

      There’s a billion and half people who won’t be pleased he left out the Yoga Sutras of Patangali and whatever that Buddha guy jotted down, too.

      • So-in-so

        Those are all blah people, so we should not care.

        Note also from Anon’s tone the level of fairness we can expect in the presentation of the other texts.

        “So class, yesterday we finished our study of the wonderful Christian Bible, which has for centuries guided great and right-thinking.

        Today we will look at the hideous and savage works of the godless heathen who drench the soil in the blood of innocents.

        The week after, we will look at the Koran.”

        • KmCO

          Yep. By “our world” he of course refers to “white, upper middle class, American exurban subdivisions,” i.e. the only world he believes should truly exist.

      • Brad Nailer

        Well, the Buddha didn’t do any writing, but his people sure did. Kinda like Jesus!

        • Kurzleg

          Win!

  • Joe

    They need to write the course, of course …

    can’t trust just anyone to write about the Bible. There are “Christian” religions that support contraceptives, after all.

    It’s a slippery slope.

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