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This Was Overdetermined

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The universe continues to be heavy-handed in its satire:

The most Republican-leaning company in the country, based on political donations, isn’t Koch Industries. It’s the company that makes Wonder Bread.

The political action committee of Flowers Foods, a Georgia company that produces the pillowy sandwich bread, Tastykakes and Nature’s Own baked goods, has given more than 99 percent of its political contributions since 1979 to Republicans. Only three Democratic congressional candidates have gotten money from its PAC since 1984, and not one in the past 20 years.

 

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  • KmCO

    Wonder Bread: whiter than blog trolls, technically edible play dough boldly declaring itself bread!

  • Wonder, wonder
    Boop be doop be door
    Who calls this shit real bread?

    • Anna in PDX

      Bork bork bork!

    • Brad Nailer

      Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

  • Nature’s Own? Damn, that’s a staple around here.

    Oh, well, back to Roman Meal.

    • Timb

      Crap, every brand found in this house is one of theirs.

      • Another, probably more important boycott list:

        – Angel Soft
        – Angel Soft Ultra
        – Brawny paper towels
        – Dixie cups (& napkins & plates)
        – Insulair cups
        – Perfect Touch cups, paper products
        – Quilted Northern
        – Sparkle paper towels
        – Stainmaster
        – Vanity Fair napkins & paper towels
        – Mardis Gras napkins
        – Zee Napkins
        – Georgia Pacific products
        Home/Office papers:
        – Advantage
        – Image Plus
        – Spectrum

        Other:
        – American Greetings
        (Kochs own minority
        share)
        – Guardian Glass
        (Kochs own 44%)
        – Stainmaster
        – Lycra
        – Teflon

        Building supplies:
        – Georgia Pacific

        Canadian Tar Sands

        – Holiday Companies
        – Gander Mountain
        – American Greetings

  • KmCO

    Off-topic, but since I have yet to install software that blocks ads, I have to wonder whether anyone else is getting some very strange ads hawking something called “Puritan software.” I refuse to wade for mangoes, so I have no idea what Puritan software is supposed to be, but I find it noteworthy that the ads in question all feature obscure pastors superimposed over a quasi-psychedelic background scheme.

    • No. I googled “Puritan software” and got a bunch os sites discussing the Puritan Hard Drive, which seems to be a disk that comes loaded with various religious books. With that name, I was hoping for race car drivers with buckles on their hats or porn that features nothing but missionary position.

  • efgoldman

    What do you expect from people who made “food” without a natural molecule.

  • kindness

    Was it the 80’s when Wonder Bread got busted for adding sawdust to their bread and calling it extra fiber?

    • sparks

      “But, but it was just nice clean cellulose fiber!!”

  • Anonymous

    It seems the Plutocrats finds my posts incredibly threatening. they have clearly intimidated the owners of this blog into deleting my comments about how the Capitalist Class operates. while the people who run this site seem to be on the side of the workers it’s clear that there is only so much they can. the Plutocrats don’t care about guns one way or the others it’s just an issue to distract the masses; therefor i suspect the problems Erik Loomis had a couple of years ago were actually part of an effort to force him to reduce how much he talks about the way the Rootless Cosmopolitans uses capital mobility to screw the working class. i expect this post will be deleted.

    • Turkle

      ??? This is Time-cube level crazy.

      • Ken

        Not enough random ALL-CAPS.

    • P.S. I am not a crank.

      • efgoldman

        I am not a crank.

        The hell you say.

    • Plutocrat Capitalist Class Rootless Cosmopolitan

      How on Earth did you see through our cunning ruse? Oh, well. I’m sure there’s another scheme somewhere in the back of the Protocols that will work.

      • Plutocrat Capitalist Class Rootless Cosmopolitan

        P.S. How has the comment exposing our diabolical scheme not yet been deleted? What am I paying you dupes for if not to keep the sheeple ignorant and crush all those who might dare tell the truth about our nefarious machinations? DELETE THE POST! YOUR PLUTOCRAT CAPITALIST ROOTLESS COSMOPOLITAN MASTERS DEMAND IT!

        • Plutocrat Capitalist Class Rootless Cosmopolitan

          P.P.S. You should probably delete my comments, too. They kind of give the game away, I think.

        • Autonomous Coward

          Hey, don’t blame me. I’m just in charge of controlling world zinc prices.

    • Warren Terra

      As someone appropriately quoted in response to another of this idiot’s submissions, Antisemitism Is Socialism For Idiots.

      • Kingfish

        Can someone give me some context on that phrase “socialism of fools”? I’ve seen the phrase used several times, but I’ve never really known what it means.

        • Vance Maverick

          See comments here. They don’t venture an explanation, but I’d guess it’s that anti-Semitism is a sort of attack on unjustly held power which fundamentally mistakes its object.

          • Kingfish

            Thanks! It is very appreciated.

          • Malacypse

            Thanks. I’d always thought it originated with Karl Liebknecht.

            • I am pretty sure it was August Bebel not Karl Liebknecht who coined the phrase.

              • Warren Terra

                Follow the link. The infallible opinion of Wikipedia is that it’s often misattributed to Bebel, but is likely more properly sourced to “the Austrian democrat Ferdinand Kronawetter”

                • Vance Maverick
                • Wikipedia is hardly infallible. The article claims it comes from Kronawetter, but gives no evidence. Given that a large number of written works of more reliability attribute it to Bebel I will wait for better evidence before agreeing with the LGM hivemind that Wikipedia can never be wrong.

                • Vance Maverick

                  It’s possible you may have missed a hint of irony.

                • Okay, sorry it gives a foot note. I saw that the Kronwetter link went nowhere. Fine, Richard Evans says it was Kronawetter not Bebel. But, it was still not Liebknecht.

                • Malaclypse

                  Which is why I wrote thanking Vance for correcting my misunderstanding. But thank you for taking that ball and running it into the ground with endlessly correcting me for admitting I was mistaken. Perhaps if you mention it another eight times or so it won’t be tiresome.

              • Wrong again, Prof.

        • LeeEsq

          Anti-semitism is the socialism of fools and the quenelle is the grumpy cat meme of the anti-Semites.

      • Xenos

        Do people still use the term “vulgar marxism” anymore?

        • Hogan

          I do, usually in the expression “98% of what happens can be explained by vulgar Marxism.”

    • Oscar Goldman

      Maybe it’s just because I’m drunk, or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand the offensive lack of capitalization and use of proper grammar–or maybe it’s the lack of coherence–but did anyone read this entire post and understand what the fuck this person was talking about?

      • Our recent anti-semite is posting anonymously to complain that he’s been banned and his comments are deleted because Erik is in the thrall of big money. You’re better off drinking more than thinking more about this.

        • ruviana

          Because nothing gets you the big money like being an assistant professor of history at a state university! (this is some kind of snark by the way–I’m not sure what kind, it’s still early)

    • Jewish Steel

      Rootless Cosmopolitans

      Wow, now that’s an oldie. What’s up, time-machine anti-semite?

      • Gregor Sansa

        Wait a minute. Wasn’t JS actually Jennie? Do we now have a battle of the trolls?

        • Malacypse

          No. Jewish Steel is a regular non-troll. Jennifer Steel was Jennie.

          • Gregor Sansa

            My abject apologies, Reb* Steel.

            *no intent to offend, I’m just going for a polite and non-gendered form of address here. For myself, whenever a form asks me “Mr, Miss, Mrs, Ms”, I choose “Ms” because it’s the most consciously generic, even though I’m a man. But I thought that using “Ms.” above might offend, and I’ve already put my foot in it. So instead I risked using a word from a language I don’t speak, and if I’ve misused it, I apologize again.

            See? I did say “abject”, didn’t I?

            • Jewish Steel

              Never you mind. In the dust and commotion, anyone might get mistaken for a troll. Pardner.

    • joe from Lowell

      This cannot be for real. This has to be a gag.

      • Malaclypse

        You may be right. TGM, while clearly and obviously an idiot, could spell, capitalize, and write grammatically correct sentences.

    • TC[razy];DR

  • efgoldman
  • Incredibly off-topic, but too cool to not mention: watch the location of trains in and around NYC in real time. It beats chanting “om”.

    Zoom in for the best effect.

    • Or zoom out and watch trains in Portugal.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      it always surprises me that 1) Perth Amboy is a real place- thought Thurber made it up- and 2) it’s located in North America

      • So many things depend on context: is New Jersey “America”? Let’s teach the controversy.

      • wjts

        I have family in that neck of the woods. I’ve always thought the weirdest thing about the area is that there’s a town called Cheesequake.

        • Warren Terra

          Now I’m hoping it’s in a suitable bucolic festival and has an annual cheese festival that take advantage of its name.

          • Monte Davis

            Back in the day, as Pynchon reports in ‘Mason & Dixon,’ they used a monstrous Octuple Gloucester instead of a mingy Double. On its final bounce: Cheesequake.

        • ajay

          I’ve always thought the weirdest thing about the area is that there’s a town called Cheesequake.

          They named it after the SyFy Movie Original.

          Within ten miles of each other in SE England:
          The Hundred-Acre Wood (as in Winnie the Pooh)
          Harlot’s Farm
          Budgen’s Furnace
          Smockfarthing Farm

          • Lee Rudolph

            I would just like to remind all y’all that I live a mere couple of miles from the intersection of Narrow Avenue and Sodom Road (location of both The Angel Shop, a small-scale commercial enterprise, and the Holy Ghost Club, a sort of Portuguese sodality), and not much farther from the Glen of Sin and Flesh Brook (which is, however, over the state line in Rhode Island and Providence Plantations).

            • I-75, north of Detroit, the best intersection in America:

              • You’ve just never been to Beaverton.

                • DrS

                  The proximity of Sappho, WA to Beaver, WA makes me chuckle.

              • psp

                But for the intersection of Intercourse and Climax in Avon Conn.

            • wjts

              My old neighborhood in Pittsburgh had Science Street and Aztec Way, though they didn’t intersect. And then there’s Exit 264 off I-20 in Texas.

              • FSM

                And then there’s Exit 264 off I-20 in Texas.

                I keep telling those Texans that I’m the real God, but they won’t listen.

                • San Francisco has a Bush Street and a Castro Street, but I don’t think they intersect.

                  But my favorite highway sign is in the East Bay: “A STREET DOWNTOWN”. A street downtown? Can you be more specific?

      • Malacypse

        I still always hear “Perth Amboy” in the voice of Bugs Bunny when he was a train conductor.

      • elm

        I grew up in a neighboring town. Perth Amboy has (had?) two good Portuguese/seafood restaurants and you had to go through it to take the Outerbridge Crossing (named after a guy with the name Outerbridge, not because it was the outer-most bridge between NJ and NY) to Staten Island. And it’s mayor was a corrupt fool even by NJ standards.

        Otherwise, there was no reason to go to or think about Perth Amboy. Certainly the worst of the Amboys.

        • Lee Rudolph

          But which is the worst of the Oranges?

          • elm

            That’s a good question. North Brunswick is definitely the worst of the Brunswicks (East Brunswick is the most obnoxious of the Brunswicks, but that’s a different question.) I’m a Central Jerseyan and the Oranges are North Jersey, so I’ll have to defer to someone else on that question.

      • Just read the other day that during the post-revolutionary/pre-constitution era it was one of New Jersey’s dual capitals. Even back then there was really no there there.

        • Fighting Joe Hooker

          Sort-of-two colonies (East Jersey and West Jersey) need two capitals. Where did I learn this? One of Asimov’s “Black Widower” mysteries.

          • N__B

            Joe, I did not know you were a mystery fan.

            • Ahuitzotl

              Well its a mystery how he got command of an army so I guess that follows. But I suspect this is Ambrose Burnside having a nymfail

  • While TastyKake’s have been in decline since they moved from wax paper packaging, I still have a soft spot for them (like any Philly boy). Too bad they were bought up by right wing kooks.

    • Denverite

      Are they any good? Our favorite sandwich shop up the street is a Philly cheesesteak place (I usually get a hoagie; they have excellent fries), and they heavily promote the Tastykakes. I’ve never pulled the trigger.

      • People’s reactions vary. There was a time when I would have recommended them hesitatingly.

        Peanut butter candy cakes are still pretty damn good.

        Cherry pies are nice.

        Butterscotch krimpets are still ok, though the cake was never the same since they went plastic.

        Kandy cakes and krimpets are good chilled or frozen.

        The crumb cream cupcakes were a fav.

        • elm

          God, you are so right. Butterscotch krimpets were my favorite as a kid. I always thought my taste had changed when I tried them again as an adult, not that the krimpets’ taste had changed. But now that you mention it, it’s the texture that’s subtly different now, possibly because less moisture is being absorbed into the plastic than into the wax.

          • The plastic started with the boxed krimpets for home. Before plastic: Wax paper in pairs (instead of triples like you’d get in the store). Then they went to *individually wrapped* ones (which was SO WRONG). Then they settled back on pairs.

            I did direct comparisons and the plastic wrapped ones fucked the texture.

            Note that the same things happened with Hershey bars, though there there’s also increasing use of vegetable fat instead of cocoa butter across the line. But the move from foil and paper wrapped to plastic wrapped definately upped the insipid (as well as degrading the experience; for both TastyKakes and Hersey bars, the wrapping was integral the whole experience as well as significantly affecting the mouth feel and flavor).

      • Fats Durston

        Tastycake:Cake::Wonderbread:Bread.

        • Now I get what Freddie meant about the commenters here!

          • Took me a second, but then I laughed.

          • Fats Durston

            If hating Tastykake makes me a capitalist-roader, sign me up for the forces of reaction!

            • It makes you

              1) objectively despicable
              2) an enemy of the working class

        • njorl

          I think this is exactly wrong. More than any other brand of pre-packaged snack cakes, Tastycakes resemble something you might make – badly. Their pies come with bad pie crusts, not a quarter inch thick sugary turtle wax coating. Their cupcakes come with frosting instead of chocolate flavored sealant.

          • Yes. And when the packaging was less industrial and oriented to shelf longevity, they quality was better.

            They changed the shape of the pies and its packaging, but it’s still closest to having real air circulation, so they’ve degraded the least.

    • Jon H

      The highlight of my experience with Tastycakes was at the second day of filming for Rocky 5, at the Philadelphia Civic Center.

      Free Tastycakes were provided to the audience.

      They didn’t actually film, having finished the day before. Some wrestlers were put in the ring to entertain us, I guess.

      The growd pelted them with Tastycakes.

      • That is objectively awesome.

        • njorl

          I am imagining it set to the Rocky theme music.

  • This one will be easy to boycott.

    • junker

      I believe that the true Leftist position is that boycotting woukd make you a member of HUAC who is also engaging in viewpoint discrimination because political contributions are private and are not allowed to influence your consuner behavior.

  • Jewish Steel

    So, who is the foremost grower of lilies in the US? Check their contributions.

    • Ralph Wiggum

      Very good.

  • Fats Durston

    Cracker Barrel is in the article, too…

  • If it’s good bread, it’s a Wonder.

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