Let’s get cyn-i-cal, cyn-i-cal!

Some suggestions for getting into the Thanksgiving spirit:

1. Cut in line, and when someone complains, claim you were there first.
2. Walk into someone’s yard, plant a flag in it, and yell “No flag no country!” repeatedly.
3. Engage in wanton acts of criminal trespass, and respond to all questions by saying that you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t want you to be.
4. Ask for handouts, praise Christian charity, then bemoan socialism.
5. Lecture everyone about preterition, then tell them not to worry, Hell’s not really that bad.

Feel free to contribute to the “festivities.” Here’s a little something to set the mood: