Home / General / I didn’t even know ketchup was a “Jew sauce”!

I didn’t even know ketchup was a “Jew sauce”!


But according to this soon-to-be-former security officer at — wait for it … wait for it … — the University of California, Irvine, that’s why he never puts it on his hamburgers:

Believe it or not, that’s only the second best screen capture I scored for this story.

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  • witless chum

    Decidedly unsexy mustard.

    • Goddammit. I came here to make that comment.

      • Barry Freed

        You still can you know, I mean don’t you have editing privileges? Know one need ever know. (Well, I’d know but I’m no one…)

        • Barry Freed

          That’s “No need ever know” D’oh.

          • Barry Freed

            No that’s not it either, damn me this always happens when I’m procrastinating.

            • Ahuitzotl

              LGM clearly needs a more coherent set of sockpuppets :)

        • Manju

          I’m with Barry. Go all Stalin on this Hitler thread, bspencer.

          Indeed, I wonder why you have not already. What the hell is your first name, anyway? Benito?

          • Nobody can make the blogs run on time.

            • Manju

              well, nobody puts Benito in the corner either.

    • Really, the first joke out of the lineup isn’t “D’you eat? Jew eat?”

      • That’s what he asked, “Jew got any ketchup?
        How did he know I was a Jew?

        • Hogan

          Everyone knows about the Jew Kaufman.

        • ChristianPinko

          I did Nazi that coming.

  • David Hunt

    I had some inane comment about you getting your trifecta to go with Bigfoot and King Tut, but then I read the actual story and I think I’ll just go curl up in a little ball and weep for an hour instead. That’s just…I don’t what to say.

  • TribalistMeathead

    Mayonnaise is the Jew of liberal fascism.

  • Tristan

    This could be ugly

    • Tristan

      Let’s be honest though: past a certain age, security guards are sort of guaranteed to be racist, right?

      • Gregor Sansa

        At the risk of turning into J. Otto:

        In Guatemala, past a certain age, security guards are sort of guaranteed to be guilty of genocide.

      • Malaclypse

        Let’s be honest though: past a certain age, security guards are sort of guaranteed to be racist, right?

        Back in college, I was night manager of a cheap motel. We occassionally had security guards. There were two types: 1) 20-something males who flunked the psych tests for cops/the military, and 2) old dudes who could not afford to retire.

        The old dudes were always more sane and less racist than the young ones. I never experienced a single exception to this rule.

        • STH

          I know of one: my ex worked as a night security guard while he was working on his Ph.D. in Philosophy. It was pretty much the perfect job: the pay was shit, of course, but he spent most of the time working on his dissertation and just took a walk every hour to check things out, so he lost a bunch of weight, too. (Oh, and he wasn’t a racist, either.)

          • catclub

            Apparently a waistist, or weighstist, though.

            Add a lisp and I almost have a joke.

  • some guy

    curious about the wording in your story, Scott. Do you yourself believe the Irvine 11 were engaged in “hate speech” when they protested against war criminal Michael Oren? As an ex-editor at the New U, I was very glad to see the New U never fell into that trap, but I am curious to know if you think the MSA and the Irvine 11 should have been charged with hate speech ?

    • Anna in PDX

      Yeah I would love to know more about that too. I was semi-following the story at the time but I didn’t see anything that quoted anything that I thought was “hate speech” per se. I do have issues with the Boycott Divest (what the S stand for again?) movement for various reasons but I can not really call it hate speech, I think that is clearly hyperbole.

    • SEK

      Do you yourself believe the Irvine 11 were engaged in “hate speech” when they protested against war criminal Michael Oren?

      No, that’s why it’s in scare quotes. I was calling attention to the fact that the UCI policy seems to be to defend Nazis’s Instagram accounts as protected speech, but consider legitimate protests by the MSU “hate speech.”

      • anthrofred

        It doesn’t come off that way in the writing a all; it comes off as an equivalence, not a contrast.

      • some guy

        thanks for clarifying that. Didn’t want to assume that, Scott, but I thought I recalled you being on the good guys side during that dustup. Anna, BDS stands for “Boycott, Divest, Sanction”

    • José Arcadio Buendía

      Thanks for goysplaining that, some guy.

      I sure hope that we can get your white approval on whatever kind of speech black people consider offensive, too. Please, proceed, governor, and tell me your thoughts on whether white people using the ‘n’ words is OK and whether the name of the Washington football team is ok, too?

      Why is it that people understand all of these things when Jews aren’t involved?

      • some guy

        not all of us approve of apartheid, Jose. sorry if I have offended your feelings and offended you by questioning your support for the apartheid regime.

        • José Arcadio Buendí

          Not all of us approve of apartheid, and not all of us approve of the n-word. But the privilege group doesn’t get to tell the minority what their feelings should be. You can disapprove of “apartheid” civilly or through acts of hate speech.

        • José Arcadio Buendí

          If disrupting Oren was ok, would it be ok to disrupt the speaker the MSU had that supported shooting missiles at civilians behind the Green line? Or are they legitimate targets because apartheid word salad?

          • some guy

            touch a nerve, did we? why do apartheid apologists always demand civility from their opponents? was Oren acting with civility when he was committing his war crimes in Lebanon? why the double standard, Jose?

  • I think some research into the idea that ketchup is a Jewish condiment is in order. Because I honestly have no idea what this man – who would be in for a rude shock if he ever did meet Hitler – is gibbering about.

    Cathy Lawhon, a spokeswoman for UCI, said she found the pictures loathsome, but that because they were posted on a personal account, Vazquez didn’t violate any school policy.

    Sure we do. But if there’s an investigation into the way he dealt with minority students UCI is going to have a hard time saying his personal gibberings can’t be taken into account.

    • Adolphus

      Yeah, I found that suspect as well. I have worked for state, local, and federal governments and ALL of them have policies against doing things in your free time that would be a conflict of interest to the mission of your employer. Some private employers do that, too, but far less. Of course, I have always been a salaried employee and the line between on-the-clock and off-the-clock is far hazier than an hourly employee, so maybe there is a difference there. (In fact, technically and literally, a salaried employee is never off-the-clock. Or is that never on-the-clock? Time clocks are just less important for salaried employees, that’s all I am trying to say.)

    • David Wilmot

      H. J. Heinz was a devout Methodist, so that’s not it.

    • Tristan

      “who would be in for a rude shock if he ever did meet Hitler”

      Barring time travel, I don’t think that’s unique to him.

  • You know who else hates ketchup?

  • I . . . uh – hmmmm.

    Oh fuckall.

  • Karen

    I refuse to link to the site, but this reminds me of a discussion on Steve Sailer awhile back complaining that more salsa than ketchup sold in the US. I would like to introduce this guy to those guys.*

    I read right-wing sites because I think it’s important to know in advance what the next stupid R argument is going to be.

    • Please do let us know when they’re quavering over the presence of un-American fruits and vegetables at the grocer’s.

      • Me, I’m davening.

      • Karen

        If it’s funny enough I’ll even link to it. Of course, this particular value of “funny” means “life imitates Monty Python skit.”

    • InnerPartisan

      Isn’t Salsa basically just ketchup with some added spices and vegetables?

      /*runs away*

    • Well the last thing I put up on my right wing blog was about the 70th anniversary of the deportation of the Karachais.

      • You might want to branch out a little bit, unless you call your blog “Depressing Leftist Genocides.”

        • I am branching out. See the newest post for an edited volume on depressing Leftist and Rightist state terror. I think I can get somebody to volunteer to do Ecuador.

    • anthrofred

      We must not allow a condiment gap!

      • Karen

        A condiment gap threatens our precious digestive fluids.

        • efgoldman

          Money has no morals, and condiments have no ideology.

  • LeeEsq

    The security guard doesn’t exactly seem to fit the Aryan ideal.

  • Why is this stuff so hard? You just call him in to the office and present him with a line up of African American and Jewish Students and you ask him whether he would like to enact any of Hitler’s policies on them. When he says “No” you fire him for lying and when he says “yes” you fire him for bringing his prejudices in to work.

    • Manta

      I gather you would also fire somebody for being a member of the Communist Party?

      • If they believed in the overthrow of government by violent means, why not?

        • Mike G

          So then the many Tea Party members who salivate about the necessity of overthrowing the government are fair game?

      • We are pretty much in a fire at will economy. Not my choice. If he has a union its a different matter. But aside from that i wouldn’t consider hitler’s fan boi to be expressing a mere political viewpoint do much as expressing a plan to act in accordance with the goals and principles of one of the great mass murderers. Id say the same for a follower of pol pot, stalin, and a few others. He has expressed extreme antipathy towards a portion of the student body. The onus should be on him to explain how he can do his job when he is biased against workers and students of color.

  • Donalde has put on a bit of weight.

  • Does this mean I have to rethink my position on National Socialism?

    • somethingblue

      Say what you want, dude, at least it’s a meat sauce.

    • Manta

      Eric, you were in a similar position as him.
      But, evidently, a public University (threatening to) fire somebody for his political views (expressed outside the workplace, under a pseudonym, on a non work-related account) is OK (or even obligatory) if it is done to a Nazi instead of a Liberal.

  • john not mccain

    Suggesting that ketchyup is Jewish is anti-semetic and stupid. It’s clearly cracker originated.

    • According to this article it originated in China and then migrated to Malaya where the English discovered it. Tomatoes got added when the Brits took to the American colonies.


      • And in the 19th Century, it was often sold as a patent medicine in America.

        Archibald Miles, a travelling merchant, relocated to Ohio in 1824. One of the items he sold, was a patented medicine, American Hygiene Pill. In the spring of 1837, he met Dr. Bennett, who suggested he change the name, and instead sell “Extract of Tomato Pills.” Soon, after much work in his “laboratory,” he began selling Dr. Miles’ Compound Extract of Tomato that would popularize, like many other ketchup and tomato medicines of that period, a universal curing for a variety of ailments like jaundice, bilious disease, rheumatism, coughs and headaches.

        Competition was fierce, and soon, the Tomato Pill War broke out in 1838 for market dominance.

        Tomatoes have since receded from its heyday as a purported cure-all medicine. Today we know tomatoes and ketchup as a health food and a condiment, respectively. Would you have it any other way?

        • Hogan

          But ketchup does have natural mellowing agents that help keep you proactive, not reactive.

          • LittlePig


      • john not mccain

        Any ketchyup without high fuckedup corn syrup is not the true ketchyup.

      • Ahuitzotl

        you missed the bit where the Ghanaians sold it to the Chinese as an aphrodisiac*

        (*rise above that temptation)

    • efgoldman

      It’s clearly cracker originated.

      No good on crackers. Makes ’em soggy.

  • Ketchup is obviously a Jewish condiment.

    Catsup, on the other hand, is purely 100% Real ‘Murkan!!!

    • C is Jewish, K is German.

      • They’ve changed their packaging, but for years Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt had Hebrew letters on one side of the box, spelling out “Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt” (and left to right, at that).

  • I’ve been sitting here trying to work together ‘ketchup’ and ‘chuztpah’ into one killer portmanteau, but getting nowhere.

    • Anonymous

      Chutzup, doc?

      • Tyto

        Damn youuuuuuu…..

  • Yes, of course he’s a white supremacist!

    Because Carlos Vazquez is such an ancient and traditional Aryan name.

    A word to the wise, there, Chubs – I think you’d better find Michael Jackson’s skin-whitening Dermatologist before you go to your first white supremacist’s meeting.

    And change your name – unless you’re now trying to find work as a landscaper.

  • NonyNony

    Okay, I need to be pointed towards a betting pool because I want to wager on:

    1) How long until this guy gets fired.

    2) How long until he starts collecting Workman’s Comp from the State of California for the psychological breakdown he has that was “caused” by the aftermath of his racist antics being made public on the internet.

    • Barry Freed

      Can we start a second pool on the size of his compensation package?

      • Isn’t it rather hackneyed to suggest that his Aryan activities are his way of compensating for the size of his package?

    • Mike G

      It worked for UC Davis pepper spraying coward John Pike.
      $38 from worker’s comp for “stress”.
      The students he attacked with chemical weapons got $30k.

  • José Arcadio Buendía

    “Free speech?” Apparently this administrator has never heard of things like workplace harassment laws, and, in the case of California, the Unruh Act.

    *And those are good things!

  • ChrisTS

    I’m pretty astonished that the spokeswoman thinks this has no connection to his work.

    Also: what a creepy looking guy.

    • Barry Freed

      I thought the same thing too. How could you possibly want this guy in a position of power over the members of your community?

      • ChrisTS

        Especially if one had the poor judgment to be one of the people he despises.

    • Halloween Jack

      He looks like he’s wearing the sort of mask that I imagine Rob Ford’s personal guard wears.

      • ChrisTS


    • He looks like the guy who kidnapped and imprisoned all those girls and his straight up fantasizing about joining a master race and doing it with/for his daughters makes him sound like the kind of guy who ends up chaining his daughters in the basement so they don’t get interested in black guys and despoiled. Massively, massively, creepy. “Has pictures of famed mass murderer Hitler with his own children” should be grounds for termination.

      • efgoldman

        ….makes him sound like the kind of guy who ends up chaining his daughters in the basement so they don’t get interested in black guys and despoiled. Massively, massively, creepy.

        I never took you for a person who overdosed on “saw” movies.

        • That actually happened in Germany. Not a movie.

          • herr doktor bimler

            My people have had enough trouble with Germans, but saddling them with the crimes of Austrians is just going too far.

            • Not much fun in stalingrad.

              • Somewhere the sun is shining
                Somewhere the children shout
                There is joy in Stalingrad
                Mighty Hitler has struck out

    • It is exactly the kind of thing a flack would say when excrement is hitting the air circulation device at an alarming speed.

      I seriously doubt she believes it is unrelated, but her job calls for saying something and “Giving a Hitler humping douchebag authority over students is pretty fucked up,” isn’t an option.

      • anthrofred

        It’s hard for me to imagine her making that statement and then not immediately looking for the strongest liquor available.

        • For her sake, I hope she was able to use the liquor bottle was before, during and after. Talk about shit jobs.

    • SEK

      Also: what a creepy looking guy.

      Especially after someone spends ten minutes trying to grab the perfect screencap.

  • That’s a picture of whitebread mustard, ground down and no horseradish.

  • Halloween Jack

    Top pic is of a future mall ninja, no doubt about it.

  • JustRuss

    Oy. I attended UCI many years ago, this is the first I’ve heard of the Irvine 11. At least they didn’t pepper spray them, but what the hell is the UC’s problem with protesters these days? If this guy doesn’t get canned, I assume there will be pushback by the students. Wonder how the administration will respond.

    • efgoldman

      …but what the hell is the UC’s problem with protesters these days?

      Maybe they’re harking back to the glory days of Governor Ronaldus Magbus.

  • Manta

    Kudos to the UCI for doing the right thing in this case.

    • Manta

      I take back my kudos: UCI suspended him, instead of respecting his freedom of speech.

  • Aaron Baker

    Garb . . . America really does need a better class of Nazis.

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