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ATTENTION: New Internet Tradition

[ 243 ] September 21, 2013 |

After spraining my entire back yesterday, I woke up in a mood this morning. So when I was assaulted on Facebook by a series of positive messages about how I should be optimistic about everything, and because I’m an asshole, I wrote:

Just so you know, every time you post one of those “inspirational” or “optimistic” quotations on Facebook, in my head I append “So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman” to the end of it.

But this should totally be a thing. Like so:

If you don’t know how to edit things on the Internet, well, all the better. The people who double-rainbow-with-wolf-and-moon these things don’t either. What have you got?

UPDATE: So:

So thank you laura:

Also:

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  • efgoldman

    Hoo, boy. This one’s gonnna’ get up into kids’ names and ketchup territory.

    • Barry Freed

      Imma name my kids “Ketchup” and “Catsup.”

    • Origami Isopod

      And heads on stakes.

      • efgoldman

        Better’n ketchup on steaks.

  • Malaclypse

    The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • dmsilev

    It lacks a certain something. Why don’t you combine it with the traditional ending for fortune cookies:
    “So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman in bed”.

    • gorillagogo

      I thought the traditional ending for fortune cookies was “in my pants”. Examples, from the internet:

      It better to be the hammer than the nail in my pants.

      Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. In my pants.

      Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded in my pants.

      You will live long and enjoy life in my pants.

      A kind word will keep someone warm for years in my pants.

      Etc. In my pants.

      • Origami Isopod

        I’ve never heard “in my pants” used in the context of fortune cookie fortunes. I did, however, hear it used for an internet meme where you append the phrase to the end of the title of the last book you read. E.g., The Dark Tower in My Pants.

  • Malaclypse

    Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    When God hath ordained a creature to die in a particular place. He causeth that creature’s wants to direct him to that place. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    Who asks for justice? We make our own justice. We make it here on Arrakis—win or die. Let us not rail about justice as long as we have arms and the freedom to use them. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • MikeJ

      Fear is the mind-killer.
      Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
      I will face my fear.
      I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
      And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
      So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    It works perfectly with Atlas Shrugged quotes:

    I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    You seek escape from pain. We seek the achievement of happiness. You exist for the sake of avoiding punishment. We exist for the sake of earning rewards. Threats will not make us function; fear is not our incentive. It is not death that we wish to avoid, but life that we wish to live. You, who have lost the concept of the difference, you who claim that fear and joy are incentives of equal power—and secretly add that fear is the more practical”—you do not wish to live, and only fear of death still holds you to the existence you have damned. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Look around you: what you have done to society, you have done it first within your soul; one is the image of the other. This dismal wreckage, which is now your world, is the physical form of the treason you committed to your values, to your friends, to your defenders, to your future, to your country, to yourself. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    For centuries, the battle of morality was fought between those who claimed that your life belongs to God and those who claimed that it belongs to your neighbors – between those who preached that the good is self-sacrifice for the sake of ghosts in heaven and those who preached that the good is self-sacrifice for the sake of incompetents on earth. And no one came to say that your life belongs to you and that the good is to live it. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • Origami Isopod

      How about Ayn Rand quotes in general?

      The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. So watch me jump off that building; I’m the goddamn Batman.

  • SEK

    “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection … so jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

  • SEK

    “You must learn to get in touch with the innermost essence of your being. This true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless; it is free; it is immune to criticism; it does not fear any challenge … so jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

  • SEK

    “When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly … so jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

  • SEK

    Not me, but golden: “God never gives us more than we can handle. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

    • Barry Freed

      Turn that frown upside down.

      You know, a stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet.

    • DocAmazing

      When the Lord closes a door, He opens a window. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Barry Freed

    I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish Wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • prufrock

      yes.

    • sharculese

      This one is best.

    • Sharon

      I am laughing so hard that I’m crying.

      The Sensual World has never been this hilarious before!

      • Breadbaker

        In my mind’s ear Ralph Spoilsport is the goddamn Batman and he jumped off that building.

  • Barry Freed

    Estragon: We always find something, eh Didi, to give us the impression we exist?

    Vladimir: Yes, yes, so jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • DocAmazing

      All things spring up, and there is not one which declines to show
      itself; they grow, and there is no claim made for their ownership;
      they go through their processes, and there is no expectation. The work is accomplished, and there is no
      resting in it. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

      • DocAmazing

        Blossoms ride the breeze
        So jump off of that building
        You’re the goddamn Batman

  • James E. Powell

    I can never decide which facebook posts I hate more, the generic inspirational or the Jesus as superhero/father/king. Both of them irritate me more than the “Obama determined to destroy America!” posts.

    What I want to respond to the inspirational and Jesus posts is “but that doesn’t help the 2 or 3 million children who die from malnutrition every year.” But I don’t.

    • Barry Freed

      This is one of the reasons why I don’t do facebook.

  • prufrock

    I’ll tell you a riddle. You’re waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don’t know for sure. But it doesn’t matter. How can it not matter to you where the train will take you? So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Barry Freed

    See it works with high Modernism too.

  • Malaclypse

    There must have been a moment, at the beginning, were we could have said — no. But somehow we missed it. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it going to end? So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don’t go on forever. It must have been shattering, stamped into one’s memory. And yet, I can’t remember it. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • John Protevi

      There are approximately 3M men in the Ohio-Michigan area with hunting licenses, and almost all of them are good shots. Collected together, with sufficient motivation, they are the largest, most effective army in the world — at least in terms of beating back an occupation. So jump off that building — you’re the goddam Batman.

      • Malaclypse

        You think you’re tough for eating beans every day? There’s half a million scarecrows in Denver who’d give anything for one mouthful of what you got. They’ve been under siege for about three months. They live on rats and sawdust bread and sometimes… on each other. At night, the pyres for the dead light up the sky. It’s medieval. So jump of that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • mingo

    …there was only one set of footprints because that was when I was carrying you. So jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman

  • Lee Rudolph

    Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. He is the hero; he is everything. He must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor—by instinct, by inevitability, without thought of it, and certainly without saying it. He must be the best man in his world and a good enough man for any world. He will take no man’s money dishonestly and no man’s insolence without a due and dispassionate revenge. He is a lonely man and his pride is that you will treat him as a proud man or be very sorry you ever saw him. So jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can’t give you this case, it don’t belong to me. Besides, I’ve already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Code Name Cain

    People who are crazy enough to change the world, are the ones that do. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • Code Name Cain

      You only live once but if you do it right once is enough. …so jump off that building you’re the goddamn Batman.

      Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. So jump off that building you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • BigHank53

    Once there were brook trout in the streams in the mountains. You could see them standing in the amber current where the white edges of their fins wimpled softly in the flow. They smelled of moss in your hand. Polished and muscular and torsional. On their backs were vermiculate patterns that were maps of the world in its becoming. Maps and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again. In the deep glens where they lived all things were older than man and they hummed of mystery. So jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. So jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world’s great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are words, and some of the words are theirs. So jump off the building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • SEK

    Y’all went way too high concept too quickly. I’m thinking more like:

    “You cannot find your sould with your mind, you must use your heart … so jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

    • Barry Freed

      -The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself, so jump off that building, you’re the goddamm Batman.

      -Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect; so jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • James E. Powell

      Y’all went way too high concept too quickly.

      What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman!

  • SEK

    Or: “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have … so jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.”

  • I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain…
    so jump off that building, I’m the goddamn Batman.

  • Philip

    Dream big. Use kind words. Say I love you. Laugh. Giggle. Be silly. Share. Say please. Jump off that building. You’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Origami Isopod

    From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
    A light from the shadows shall spring;
    Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
    The crownless again shall be king.
    So leap off that edifice yonder,
    For thou art the Gods-damned Batman.

    • SEK

      Good show, good show.

      • Origami Isopod

        Well, thank you. Here’s another:

        Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go
        To heal my heart and drown my woe
        Rain may fall, and wind may blow
        And many miles be still to go
        But under a tall tree will I lie
        And let the clouds go sailing by
        After I have jumped off the building
        For I am the Ilúvatar-damned Batman.

  • Origami Isopod

    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover, Jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • BigHank53

    Gotcha.

    How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    (The last one is ol’ Henry Thoreau, believe it or not.)

  • laura

    The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. So jump off that building, you are the goddamn batman.

    • SEK

      BEAUTIFUL.

      • SEK

        I mean, it almost makes you want to read Facebook.

  • Thlayli

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Life’s Tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • laura

    The truest proof of love is trust. So jump off that building. You are the goddamn batman.

  • Sly

    Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte… just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb.

    Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. Ya know how you know that when yer in the water, Chief? Ya tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin. What we didn’t know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week.

    Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. Ya know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle, like ya see in the calendar named “The Battle of Waterloo,” and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark will go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into yer eyes.

    And, ya know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then ya hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces. Ya know, by the end of that first dawn lost a hundred men.

    I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist.

    Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us… he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened… waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again.

    So, eleven hundred men went in the water; three hundred sixteen men come out and the sharks took the rest. June the twenty-ninth, nineteen forty five.

    Anyway, we delivered the bomb. So jump off that buildin’, ’cause yer the goddamn Batman.

  • gorillagogo

    My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
    Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
    So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • gorillagogo

    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves.
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.
    So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Ken

    Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

    • ChristianPinko

      He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had jumped off that building. He loved Batman.

  • gorillagogo

    If the radiance of a thousand suns
    Were to burst at once into the sky
    That would be like the splendor of the Mighty one …
    I am become Death,
    The shatterer of Worlds.
    So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Origami Isopod

    Even if there lurk behind some veil of sky
    The fabled Maker, the immortal Spy,
    Ready to torture each poor life he made,
    Thou canst do more than God can — thou canst die.
    So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Malaclypse

    Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. Because of the savor of thy good ointments
    thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run after thee: the King hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee. I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me:
    my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept. Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds’ tents. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • owlbear1

    The easiest way to predict the future is to create the future! So jump of that building, you’re the Goddamn Batman!

  • Barry Freed

    Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn Batman.

  • Jack

    All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy!All Work and No Play, Make Jack a Dull Boy! So jump off that building you’re the goddam batman!!

  • Lo

    SEK just turned LGM into Wonkette, with his internet happy pics.

    Enjoy your ketchup-laden mommyblog.

    • Gregor Sansa

      I think you meant to reply to Jack, just above. You are as manly as he, and more. So jump off that building, you’re the goddamn batman.

      • Origami Isopod

        +1

  • Karen

    She should have died hereafter.
    There would have been a time for such a word.
    Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
    To the last syllable of recorded time,
    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
    Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.

    So jump off the building, you’re Batman, and it doesn’t make any difference anyway.

  • efgoldman

    For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. So jump off that building you’re the goddam batman!!

    • efgoldman

      The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. So jump off that building you’re the goddam batman!!

      • efgoldman

        Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. So jump off that building you’re the goddam batman!!