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Jesus Christ, What A Pathetic Operation Tucker Carlson Is Running

[ 123 ] August 20, 2013 |

You may remember Mark Judge from various columns in which racism and utter asininity fight to a standstill in a battle the reader inevitably loses. In today’s column, Judge argues that Obama lacks courage, discipline, self-reliance, industry, and resolution, and is therefore the “first female president.”  Because, of course, it is impossible to imagine a woman having any of these qualities.  (As a bonus, he calls abortion “the most anti-woman act imaginable” because women like being coerced to carry pregnancies to term almost as much they hate the 19th Amendment amirite ladies?) But don’t let this egregiously idiotic sexism blind you to the fact that he’s also applying his usual racist stereotypes to Obama as well.

In other words, exactly the kind of writer you’d expect Tucker Carlson to publish.

this race-baiting is also classic Tucker.


Comments (123)

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  1. Aimai says:

    Doesn’t this follow on the Tucker Carlson exclusive that Wonkette linked charging that “thousands” of teachers are really straight up whores, shopping for sugar daddies on some online site? So it must follow that they will never be satisfied with the love of their snotty nosed charges–the kids I mean–and those fresh apples that are all the parents are able to afford so why let them unionize and have living wages? Can’t everyone get a koch sugar daddy when they need one?

  2. MAJeff says:

    They also want you to know that that Obama’s got a BLACK dog and have never had a white one:

  3. Warren Terra says:

    I am disappointed that so many people seem to be giving The Daily Tncker clicks. Remember, they get paid when you point and laugh. Imagine no Tncker, it’s easy if you try – and, really, impact-wise, it’s fairly accurate, too.

  4. joe from Lowell says:

    I first noticed this in watching Obama’s reaction to terrorism. No matter how bland or professorial a man is, there comes a moment when his family or his country is threatened and he shows rage and the desire to kill. You can see it in his eyes — that flare of hatred, the primal urge to eradicate those who would poison your tribe.

    Sure, he kills bin Laden and blasts the shit out of AQAP, but what about his eyes?

    Whatever, twinkle toes.

    • medrawt says:

      Mark Judge is implying that he has been present on occasions when President Obama has been informed of terrorist attacks.

      I find this unlikely.

      Oh, wait, he means that when Obama, having previously been briefed and started doing whatever it is he’s going to do in response, when subsequently addressing the press should strive to recreate his original response – or at least some crowd-pleasing interpretation thereof – to information he’s already processed privately.

    • UserGoogol says:

      Although I have to concede I never really paid that much attention to George W. Bush’s eyes, (because that’s stupid) he always seemed like a pretty mellow guy. His rhetoric was very fiery and belligerent, but physically he seemed quite casual about it.

      It’s exceptionally easy to let your mental image of a person’s facial expressions be skewed by caricature (and Bush’s caricatures very much played up him being squinty and dumbly affable, perhaps more than he actually was) but of course that’s why it’s stupid to try to psychoanalyze such a superficial aspect of a person’s demeanor.

      • Vance Maverick says:

        Why do we care about Bush’s facial expressions now? We know his policies and their effect. I’m not even sure what you’re responding to, UserGoogol.

        • jim, some guy in iowa says:

          I think he/she is working off the bit joe from Lowell quoted about how Obama just doesn’t look mean the way “effective” terror fighters such as Bush do

  5. Gary K says:

    Barack Obama Hillary Clinton: the first female president


  6. cpinva says:

    my goodness, mr. judge certainly has his own little fetid swamp going on over there, doesn’t he? well, better he gets it off his chest there, where it will harm no one, rather than have him pissing it out on the street.

  7. Paul Campos says:

    I’m not going to read more than the first couple of graphs of that thing, but bonus points should be awarded for using Capt. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise as a historical role model that presidents ought to emulate.

  8. JMP says:

    Didn’t Carlson used to try and pose at being a seemingly reasonable and intellectual conservative, acting somewhat like a younger George Will, including the bow tie? I guess at some point after being fired by both CNN and MSNBC, not to mention first voted off of Dancing with the “Stars”, he must have decided their was more money in going full wingnut, and embracing sexism and racism.

  9. joe from Lowell says:

    Using Mark Judge’s definition of toughness is what got Virgil Solozzo killed.

  10. Karen says:

    Mark Judge via Wikipedia

    I find this highly appropriate.

  11. Foregone Conclusion says:

    Nothing says uber-masculine more than wearing a bow-tie into your late thirties.

    • Warren Terra says:

      Depends on where you’re wearing it, surely.

      • Ann Outhouse says:

        Which reminds me of this Brian Bowers classic:

        Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
        One could tell by how he walked that he’d drunk more than his share
        He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
        Then he stumbled off into the grass asleep beside the street

        Ring-ding-did-a-little-la-di-oh, Ring-di-diddly-eye-oh,
        He stumbled off into the grass asleep beside the street

        About that time two young n’ lovely girls just happened by
        One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
        “See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built,
        I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.”

        Ring-ding-did-a-little-la-di-oh, Ring-di-diddly-eye-oh,
        I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt

        They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
        Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
        And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
        Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

        Ring-ding-did-a-little-la-di-oh, Ring-di-diddly-eye-oh,
        Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

        They marveled for a moment then one said, “We must be gone.
        Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along.”
        As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
        Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show.
        Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show.

        Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards the trees
        Behind a bush he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
        And in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes
        “Ah, lad I don’t know you’ve been but I see you won first prize.”

        Ring-ding-did-a-little-la-di-oh, Ring-di-diddly-eye-oh,
        “Ah, lad I don’t know you’ve been but I see you won first prize.”

    • Mark Field says:

      I dare you to tell that to Brother Mouzone.

    • anthrofred says:

      Every time I read “Tucker Carlson”, I hear calliope music.

  12. James E. Powell says:

    It seems to me that some people, too many people, need to see & hear “toughness” from their political leaders. And they need to see & hear it regularly; it gives them some kind of assurance of something.

    What makes it especially stupid is that their understanding of “toughness” is like the aluminum foil spikes of Oakland Raiders fans. It has nothing to do with actual stuff that actual people do.

  13. Shakezula says:

    It’s like he saw the John Lennon album and thought “Hey, this could work the other way. Also. Too.”

  14. Anderson says:

    Please, please, please, may Republicans everywhere start calling Obama “female” like being a woman is disgusting.

    • Aimai says:

      Man, I’d like some of those Presidential style cooties. Don’t these guys get that being the first female President would be just as ground breaking?

      • Warren Terra says:

        Hasn’t Maureen O’Dowd already tried to label Obama “the First Female President”, in the hopes she’ll be quoted and cited as often as Toni Morrison’s First Black President description of Clinton was, forgetting that it worked for Morrison (to the extent it worked) because she was a Nobel laureate and something of a spokesperson for Black America to the White majority – whereas nobody except apparently for the editor of The Times gives a flying f what Maureen O’Dowd, professional bad-taste stereotype(s), has to say about anything.

    • ChrisTS says:

      Sorry, Hon: for Tucker’s crowd, you are choking on the wrong tree.

  15. N__B says:

    Mark Judge

    King of the Hill lost me somewhere in the middle of the first season.

  16. Pseudonym says:

    Has US political commentary always been this broken? Often?

    • jim, some guy in iowa says:

      there’s always been craziness, because that’s the way America rolls, but once upon a time there were something like three major newspapers and three radio/television networks, from where all the newsmagazines and smaller newspapers got *their* info and so for a while there was a sort of rough consensus on the issues that doesn’t exist now

  17. SamR says:

    So he’s a pushover today? Is he a pushover or a thug tomorrow?

  18. The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    Next week, this same guy will probably write something about how Obama is a Chicago-style “thug” who is bullying and coercing the country into submitting to his will.

  19. Aaron Baker says:

    Wow. Aristotle AND James T. Kirk. I mean . . . wow.

  20. Aaron Baker says:

    Off-topic, but if one of you would please comment on this latest eructation from Rod Dreher,

    I for one would be very grateful.

    • Uncle Kvetch says:

      A very quick scan reveals that the German government’s acknowledgment of transgenderism means that Germany is descending back into Nazism. And Marxism, also too.

      All the gold-shitting unicorns in the world wouldn’t be enough to make me actually read the thing carefully. That’s what Roy Edroso is for.

  21. […] because you used James T. Kirk as aspirational example of manliness. But also because you wrote an entire article based on a book called “Manvotionals” and worked in an arglebargle about beer summits […]

  22. […] Judge, America’s most ridiculous would-be serious political writer, has a review of the new Jezebel book. It is — and I hesitate to make a claim of this […]

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