Winning! No. Really.

In my last entry, when I asked for your funny or familiar stories from the wingnutosphere, what I had in mind was old chestnuts like the time a bunch of Mexicans stole Victor Davis Hanson’s antique buttplug collection. Or perhaps a short story from Foodstamp Follies.  (Spoiler Alert: Each chapter ends with FREE STEAK.) Instead, you guys made up your own stories, which was–as I said–way cooler and funnier than my original contest idea.

Anyhoo, WINNER!:

I’m a leading cardeo-thorasic surgeon at a major regional medical center. Today I called in to work early, parked my Harley and on the way in found about thirty federal officials locking the doors, and saying they were taking over my surgery in the name of Obamacare.

I told them in my gravel-edge voice they’d have to take job from my cold dead hands, and they started staring at the ground and one started to cry. They could tell from the way I used my walk I was conservative, no time to talk. Another tried to argue that Obamacare had passed Congress, and was the social contract of the land by presidential order. I straddled up, bit down on a Marlboro, struck a match on the federally-funded no-smoking sign, looked him right in the eye and loaded up the silver bullet.

“Have you read the bill?”

His jaw dropped, but he didn’t know what to say.

Thanks for the chuckle, Rock Studson. That was really damn funny.