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Not Allowing Prayer in Classrooms Is Totally the Same Thing as Genocide

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Conservatives in Kentucky are very angry. After all, the state might adopt scientific standards that teach actual science instead of Christian mythology. The responses are quite rational:

Matt Singleton, a Baptist minister, is one of the opponents who spoke to the board about why the standards should not be adopted, according to The Courier-Journal. “Outsiders are telling public school families that we must follow the rich man’s elitist religion of evolution, that we no longer have what the Kentucky Constitution says is the right to worship almighty God,” Singleton said. “Instead, this fascist method teaches that our children are the property of the state.”

Another opponent, Dena Stewart-Gore, suggested that the standards will make religious students feel ostracized. “The way socialism works is it takes anybody that doesn’t fit the mold and discards them,” she said, per the The Courier-Journal. “We are even talking genocide and murder here, folks.”

What killed the Jews in the Holocaust was the Nazis teaching them that the Earth was not 6000 years old. They all dropped dead of heart attacks or something.

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  • Another Anonymous

    Singleton sounds weapons-grade crazy, like he should be in the House, or primarying McConnell.

    • c u n d gulag

      I’d say, 190 proof moonshine crazy, since we’re talking about KY.

      • DrS

        Do not mix up your 190 proof moonshine and your KY.

        • ChrisTS

          Eeww. Or, should that be ‘Ouch’?

        • c u n d gulag

          Won’t it go down easier then?

          • Origami Isopod

            I see what you did there.

        • witless chum

          Based on that quote, I’d say meth if we’re going to regionally stereotype people’s recreational drugs.

  • The Wrath of Oliver Kahn

    Wait, I’m confused – is *that* what socialism’s all about? Because the Crazy Wing of the GOP has given me soooooooo many different explanations and definitions for socialism over the years. Why, one could be forgiven for suspecting that the truth is that they just have no idea what they’re talking about.

    • rea

      I thought socialism meant having a black president . . .

      • Davis X. Machina

        “When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

        • +1

        • “`When I make a word do a lot of work like that,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `I always pay it extra.'”

          Free Market!

          • joel hanes

            Impenetrability

        • joel hanes

          There’s glory for you!

      • kerFuFFler

        Close enough—–if communism is race-mixing. (See image old old protest.)

    • DrDick

      I think that in Wingtard (not to be confused with actual English), it means “anything I don’t like.”

  • Jeffrey Kramer

    The road to Auschwitz was paved by those atheist elitists who made Hitler take “Gott Mit Uns” off the belt buckle.

    • Karen

      I preferred “Gott straf Englund” myself.

      • Origami Isopod

        “Good God,” said God, “I’ve got my work cut out.”

      • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

        First, I am sorry to be dickish, but it is “Gott strafe England”. Englund is an actor with swedish ancestors. Second, unlike “Gott mit uns” it was a phrase strictly used during WWI and wasn’t renewed for second the season.

        • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

          the second season *sigh*

        • Hogan

          Sez Wikipedia:

          During the Second World War Wehrmacht soldiers wore this slogan on their belt buckles,[9] as opposed to members of the Waffen SS, who wore the motto Meine Ehre heißt Treue (‘My honour is loyalty’).[10]

          • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

            Uh, yes Wikipedia backs me up.”Gott strafe England” belongs in the context of World War I.”Gott mit uns” was worn on the belt buckles of imperial german soldiers in World War I and the Wehrmacht ind World War II.

            • Hogan

              Oh, I completely misunderstood you there.

              In my defense, I’m not very bright.

              • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

                Can happen to the best of us. Also, I completely understand, I’m not too bright either.

        • Hogan

          Also, calling on God to punish Freddy Krueger seems perfectly reasonable to me.

          • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

            Yea, calling a fictional being to punish another fictional being seems apposite.

  • Jonas

    I thought judicial activism caused the holocaust. Oh wait, that wasn’t me, that was Antonin Scalia.

    • Lee Rudolph

      Judaic activism.

      • Origami Isopod

        +1

    • Pseudonym

      Silly me, I always thought the problem was with the original text of the Enabling Act as understood at the time of its writing.

  • Joshua

    What isn’t socialism to these guys? Puppies? Super Mario games? Shamrock Shakes?

    • sharculese the ignoranus

      Mario wears red.

      • Bill Murray

        so it’s Luigi that is not socialist

        • JKTHs

          But Luigi’s green like them hippie commie tree-huggers

        • Bizarro Mike

          He wears green, so that makes him a progressive. That’s double super socialist, or “socialest”, if you will.

          • rea

            Wearing green makes him Islamic, which means socialist.

            • calling all toasters

              All colors are socialistical:
              Black is what metrosexuals wear.
              Pink is for homos.
              Blue is for blue state Sharia law.
              Orange is for oranges, which aren’t meat.
              Yellow is for draft-dodging cowards like Dick Ch… George Bu… HITLER.
              Green is for other stuff that isn’t meat.
              Brown is for Al Sharpton.

              • BruceJ

                You, brave caller of appliances, are the honored winner of all the internets today!

                I’m definitely swiping that!

        • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

          That means he is a “melon” and thus red within, which means that he is really a socialist.

          • ChrisTS

            Soo, the red-staters are only red on the outside?

            • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

              Possibly, but you probably have to slice one open and see for yourself. Not that I recommend that.

              • BigHank53

                Pro tip: don’t attempt this in a room with a carpet. You’ll never get the stains….hang on, what’s the statue of limitations again?

  • TribalistMeathead

    It’s always heartening to see a clergyman whose Bible actually includes Matthew 19:24.

    • Kurzleg

      That guy’s comments strike me as more of a Tea Party Buzzword Bingo script than anything else:

      “Outsiders”
      “Rich”
      “Elitist”
      “Religion of evolution”
      “Fascist” (more than likely the liberal variety)

      • calling all toasters

        I’m copywriting this book title: “The Tea Party Revolution: how a few brave refrigerator magnets joined together to change America”

      • njorl

        Right. There are no rich conservatives. They’re just doing well. Only Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are rich, and they want to raise taxes and give their money away in an elitist, socialist, evolutionary, global-warming-believing frenzy.

        • Hogan

          Don’t forget the Communist Nazi Jew George Soros. [spits three times]

  • Gregor Sansa

    My mother chaired the committee that designed those standards.

    In order to make that microscopically less of an egregious brag: if anyone has questions about the design process or the standards themselves, I can try to answer.

    • Jeffrey Kramer

      How many times during the process did a committee member say something like “Now since I’m a Christian myself, I find that insinuation somewhat offensive”? (I’d put the over/under number at 666.)

      • Gregor Sansa

        She helped develop the national “next generation science standards”, the first time that such standards have been developed on a national level (with voluntary opt-in by states; so far it’s just RI, KY, ME, MD, and I think VT; but big states like CA and NY are in the pipeline).

        The National Research Council, the National Science Teachers Association, the American Association for the Advancement of Science, and Achieve have completed a two-step process to develop the Next Generation Science Standards.

        So no, there were no representatives from the NRC, NSTA, or AAAS objecting on a theological basis during the development process.

        • I’m surprised Kentucky is on board so early. We could play “Which of these states don’t belong.”

          • Gregor Sansa

            To be entirely honest, my mother told me the first four, and said that there were five; and so VT was just a guess on my part. But it turns out I guessed right, which only goes to show even more how much of a stand-out KY is in that bunch.

            • And the backlash against national standards is coming: the “Common Core” is starting to be a bugaboo with some of the grassroots right.

              Which is weird, because it’s funded by the billionaire right.

              • DrS

                Hey, maybe they’ll figure out that class matters.

              • Gregor Sansa

                The “common core” is English and Math, and it is about 1-2 years further along than the NGSS (science standards). The NGSS include everything you’d expect from modern (physical) science standards: evolution, climate change, the big bang and age of universe, and most “dangerous” of all, a focus on a critical and flexible approach to knowledge as opposed to facts from a book. This is far more dynamite than the common core; I wouldn’t be surprised if 2 years from now, wingnuts will have entirely forgotten the words “common core” and are instead occasionally mentioning the “NGSS English standards”.

              • Cody

                I was never a fan of a lot of the curriculum passed to schools.

                Then again, it’s not like a national standard could do any WORSE than the Indiana one.

            • Pseudonym

              What sort of incredible mental powers does it take to be able to guess that sort of thing correctly?

          • rm

            One of the first with Common Core standards, for better or worse, as well. Please don’t confuse the larger political culture with the professional cadre of teachers in the state. Because the schools have historically been so bad, this state is eager to get on board with reforms.

  • Hogan

    Separating the sheep from the goats is such an un-Christian thing to do.

    • It is if you use an anointed crowbar.

      • Origami Isopod

        “Crowbar”? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

      • sparks

        Nah, too greasy, slips out of my hands.

        • Who said anything about holding it with your hands?

    • Mickey Kaus

      Baaaaaaaaa!

  • medrawt

    With the possible – but not certain! – exception of the words under four letters long, I’m willing to entertain the idea that neither person quoted above actually knows the meaning of any of the words used in said quotes.

  • Getting ever closer to the day when they can only lie there croaking “Hitler!” “‘Letiss!”

    • Morlocks rarely have the leisure to lie around.

      • Malaclypse

        They do if they are in the group that the Eloi call Trusties.

        • Man, that documentary Wells wrote didn’t describe society accurately at all.

          • BigHank53

            Wait, are you saying these Eloi bonds I’ve been putting my money in aren’t any good?

            • The 100-year bonds are a great idea. The 800,000-year bonds, not so much.

              • Lee Rudolph

                But, but—the miracle of compound interest!!!

                • Joint compound is useful. I have, on occasion, used spackle. I leave interest in it to the Rule 34 fanatics.

              • daveNYC

                Then how do you plan on paying for a meal at Milliways?

                • I will eat, instead, at the Scottish restaurant.

                • njorl

                  Duck out just before the check comes. Make sure each time you do it a little sooner. As of nowwen, 32 of me rush the exit in a single file just as everyone looks up for the Gnab Gib.

            • njorl

              Eloi bonds? Don’t you mean Eloi bellies? I suppose you could call it “Long Pork Bellies”, but that might be confused with going long on pork bellies.

              • BigHank53

                Don’t give the hedge-fund Morlocks any ideas.

                At least not for free.

  • Sockie the Sock Puppet

    What killed the Jews in the Holocaust was the Nazis teaching them that the Earth was not 6000 years old.

    Actually, the Nazis were fairly anti-science. They didn’t have any use for modern physics (thank every god for that) and many influential Nazis promoted occult and pseudoscientific beliefs, such as the Earth being hollow.

    Sure, they persecuted Christians as well as Jews, but in terms of their relationship with science, the Nazis had a lot more in common with today’s Evangelicals than with some latte-sipping biology professor.

    • Kurzleg

      They didn’t have any use for modern physics

      And yet they developed the first jet fighter and first first long-range combat-ballistic missile.

      • Patrick Spens

        By “modern” Sock means non-Newtonian physics, i.e. the kind that let you build atomic bombs.

      • Sockie the Sock Puppet

        There’s a difference between the advanced engineering, which the Germans were very good at, and advanced physics, such as quantum mechanics, relativity, atomic theory, etc. The physics of the V2 was pretty straightforward, it was just hard to build. The physics of the atomic bomb required embracing a lot of concepts the Nazis simply hated.

        Fast forward 80 years and you’d be amazed at how many engineers are young Earth creationists. Doesn’t keep them from doing solid engineering.

        • Karen

          This. I once had the misfortune to spend three years as a utilities rates lawyer, requiring me to spend time with engineer expert witnesses. (We had to have the engineers to explain how long pipelines would last and what kinds of conditions could reduce that number. It was about as interesting it sounds.) I made the foolish mistake of mentioning that I was reading “Guns, Germs, and Steel” to one. I was treated to an entire lunch hour of creationist crap. I was at the time a deacon at my church and have a decent background in the Bible, so I could discern that his blathering was bad science and bad theology, but since I wanted to continue being employed I didn’t tell him that.

          • Pseudonym

            Don’t get us engineers started on the global warming scam or the miracle of Austrian economics.

            • sharculese the ignoranus

              It’s cool. You must be one of the good ones. :P

        • Kurzleg

          The physics of the atomic bomb required embracing a lot of concepts the Nazis simply hated.

          That, and the fact that German politics of the 30s chased many physicists out of the country.

          • Another Halocene Human

            That was one and the same, of course–what has been left unmentioned on this thread is that the Nazis called Einstein’s work “Jewish Physics”. In typical authoritarian all art/culture/science must serve the party manner, Einstein’s Jewish ancestry was a fucking affront that could only be answered with the ridiculous claim that he was just dead wrong about everything, leaving Physics to the Aryans. Jewish academics were under attack in general and fled the country, many of them settling in the US (in fact, a whole passle of Jewish physicists set up at Brandeis University in 1948, instantly making it one of the premier undergraduate physics institutions in North America).

            Germany struggled for years after the war to come back from the blow that Nazism dealt to the science dept’s of their universities.

            Heisenberg was a Nazi or Nazi fellow traveler who attempted to work out alone what the Manhattan project was doing as group study. He fucked up some calculations and set the Nazi bomb project back long enough for the Germans to lose the war. Latter on, “Ego as Big As A House” Heisenberg tried to convince people that he had sabotaged the Nazi atom bomb project on purpose.

            • Another Halocene Human

              also, too, as you can tell my academic background is phys and not anthropology since I apparently have been misspelling my nym for years, god this is so embarrassing

              • Don’t worry about that. I always thought it was some clever, personal, pun.

                • Pseudonym

                  Is that the origin of your nym?

              • Gabriel Ratchet

                I had always assumed it was some kind of play on this that I wasn’t getting because I hadn’t read it.

            • Linnaeus

              He fucked up some calculations and set the Nazi bomb project back long enough for the Germans to lose the war.

              German planners also didn’t highly prioritize developing the atomic bomb. Even if he’d gotten everything right, Germany likely wouldn’t have had a working weapon before the Allies did.

              • Warren Terra

                It’s circular: the calculations he messed up gave the appearance that the time and resources necessary to build the bomb were completely infeasible (I think he was off by a couple of orders of magnitude on the critical mass, if I recall). These calculations mandated the low priority.

                And, yes, all the evidence seems to be that he made the error, rather than deliberately faking it to stop Hitler getting the bomb.

            • LeftWingFox

              Latter on, “Ego as Big As A House” Heisenberg tried to convince people that he had sabotaged the Nazi atom bomb project on purpose.

              And this was how the Heisenberg Compensator came to be.

              • Jordan

                hahaha

              • Mike Schilling

                “Say my name.”

        • sharculese the ignoranus

          I would assume most of the same ones who think Ayn Rand was a prophet.

          And of course they don’t realize she would have thought they were scum.

          • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

            Ah, yes. Rand the atheist who makes Dawkins and Harris look like woolly headed compromisers, who was stridently for abortion rights and who wrote: “Today’s conservatives are futile, impotent and culturally dead. They have nothing to offer and can achieve nothing. They can only help to destroy intellectual standards, to disintegrate thought, to discredit capitalism, and to accelerate this country’s uncontested collapse into despair and dictatorship.”

            • BigHank53

              Given how long they’ve been practicing on cherry-picking the Bible, Rand doesn’t pose much of a challenge.

        • DrDick

          My uncle, long retired, was an electrical engineer who led the team that designed the instrumentation for he Surveyor Soft Lander and spent most of his career designing and developing satellite technology (especially communications satellites). He is also a young earth creationist and a member of the Church of God.

          • Linnaeus

            One of the co-authors of The Genesis Flood, Henry Morris, was a civil engineer.

            • Sockie the Sock Puppet

              There’s this thing called the “Salem Hypothesis” which states,

              In any evolution vs. creation debate, a person who claims scientific credentials and sides with creation will most likely have an engineering degree.

              I can’t vouch for how universal this is, since I don’t spend much time in creation-v.-evolution fight clubs.

              I will say that to the extent that there’s a strong inclination toward creationism among engineers, it has up until recently been relatively harmless. I mean, who cares? But now we face a very real problem that the very people with the best training to fight climate change are also among the least inclined to recognize it’s a problem or to do something about it.

              It would be one thing if it were just self-interest — self-interested people have a price –but if the very recognition of the phenomenon is theologically impossible for a large chunk of engineers, then we might not be able to do anything of consequence.

              • sharculese the ignoranus

                It’s fairly accurate, plus a decent smattering of physicists and chemist with what I like to call “Big Bang Theory syndrome” – strong knowledge of the physical sciences ignorance if not outright hostility regarding the life sciences.

                • Origami Isopod

                  Don’t even mention those stupid soft sciences to them.

                  (What’s funny is that economics qualifies as a soft science, by their criteria.)

                • Bill Murray

                  economics tries hard to mimic the hard sciences, but pretty much fails miserably at it

              • John F

                Most engineers are not creationists, it only seems that way because there are more engineers who are creationists than “scientists.”

                But since less than 1 % of scientists are also creationists, having 10% of engineers be creationist seems like a lot, but they are still a small minority among those professions

                • Random

                  Yeah, engineers as a profession are significantly less likely to be creationists than the general population. (They are also significantly more likely to be liberal than the general population.)

                • I think what skews perceptions is that because of the paucity of other kinds of “sciency” types in the creationist movement Engineers have more prominence than they otherwise would. Its kind of “you think you’ve got science on your side? Well, OUR scientists disagree.” You see this in climate denial, as well, where “scientists” whose expertise is in anything but climate get dragged in to prove that Science speaks against itself. Its kind of like the Swedish bank getting in on the act and offering a Nobel Prize in Economics. Doesn’t make Econ a science or making economists–pace Larry Summers–know anything about anything at all.

              • Any engineer who claims scientific credentials is a fraud as an engineer, so everything else he says can be safely discounted.

        • njorl

          When you get right down to it, rocket science ain’t exactly rocket science.

    • Gregor Sansa

      They didn’t have any use for modern physics (thank every god for that)

      If anything, I think we should be thanking the anthropic principle.

      • Sockie the Sock Puppet

        Of course, had the Nazis destroyed humanity, that would be more evidence of a Denebian-centric Universe.

        • I hate Linux, too, but this may be hyperbole.

          • Gregor Sansa

            Don’t you know who else used windows?

            • calling all toasters

              A bunch of Hussites in Prague New Town Hall?

              • Windows RT Pro Gold! Now with more defenestration!

              • rea

                Those guys certainly threw a Hussite fit . . .

            • sharculese the ignoranus

              Bastiat?

              • Colin Day

                I thought Bastiat used Sun.

    • Lancelot Link

      Also, and more to the point, the Nazis banned the teaching of evolution.

      • redrob64

        But, but, but… my religious conservative colleague insists that Darwinism=>Eugenics=>Nazism=>Black Muslim Socialists in the White House! He even posts articles about it on the department bulletin board. Surely, a bad photocopy posted on a bulletin board shows that the Nazis must have loved evolution.

      • Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.

        I’m sorry, but citation needed.

  • Joel Patterson

    The Courier-Journal is based in Louisville, and Louisville is a Catholic town.

    And the Catholic Church has long accepted the truth of evolution and science. As do the Episcopal and Methodist Churches.

    It is amazing how prejudiced so many of the fringe Protestant preachers are, disregarding the beliefs such large number of Christians.

    • DrS

      I was raised as a Catholic. I was told by many kids at school that this meant that I wasn’t a Christian.

      Heck, I mentioned that I was raised Catholic to someone who is a Christian, of the born again variety, but who clearly doesn’t have any grasp of doctrine. She repeated exactly that same thing.

      Tribalist othering is way more important than finding any sort of common ground or mutual understanding.

      I think we can lay some of this on that motherfker Calvin. All of these people who need to let everyone else know just how ‘saved’ they are.

      • John F

        I was raised Catholic in a Catholic majority town, there were more Jews than Proetstants, and trust me, us Catholics thought the Lutherans were weirder than the Jews, and the “non-denominational” born again evangelicals were just completely nuts (when I was young I just could not figure out why the MSM didn’t lump them in with the moonies and other “cults”) .

      • Fundy 101

        Catholics are all idolaters, Mary worshippers or both so they do not count as Christians.

        • The Dark Avenger

          Mary and the Saints intercede for the person who directs prayers towards him. They do not worship statues nor think of saints as anything but human. You really don’t know much about Christian theology except for your own narrow sect, do you?

          • ChrisTS

            I was thinking hoping that was a joke.

            • Yeah, I think that was a joke. But in any event one person’s intercessor is another person’s idol. There’s no getting around it. Just because the statue of a saint is of a formerly alive person doesn’t make it any the less an “idol” in common parlance and in the dictionary definition. Its worship that makes a thing an idol, not the thing itself. (Of course, by that definition, the Cross itself is rather idolatrous, but lets not get into that).

              • Lee Rudolph

                Latria, dulia, and hyperdulia.

              • DrS

                The way that certain American fundies treat the flag of the USA is very, very strange in this regard.

                • Pseudonym

                  At least the Jehovah’s Witnesses are consistent in this regard.

        • Another Anonymous

          Says the guy who approves of graven images of the 10 Commandments on every courthouse lawn in America?

          • Lee Rudolph

            Yes, but not with the Papist numbering scheme!!!

            • BruceJ

              What, is the non-Papist scheme 1,4,VII, Jerry and 12?

            • Pseudonym

              We’ll never accede to the use of those Mahometan/Hindoo Arabic numerals!

      • Warren Terra

        Of course, there is scarcely an iota of difference between these competing Christian religion.

    • cpinva

      “It is amazing how prejudiced so many of the fringe Protestant preachers are, disregarding the beliefs such large number of Christians.”

      it’s what makes them, and their followers, “special”. only they have been blessed with the insight required, to know the one, true meaning of the bible. they also tend towards either scam artists, or just your basic barking mad.

    • JL

      The Courier-Journal is based in Louisville, and Louisville is a Catholic town.

      Very true compared to most Southern towns, but not compared to a place like Boston or Providence. Louisville also has a lot of Southern Baptists, as one of their big seminaries is based there. It makes for a weird mix. Unsurprisingly, there’s a neighborhood aspect – Germantown probably has more Catholics than PRP or the area out by the border with Spencer County.

      (I spent my adolescence in Louisville and still have family living there, including a brother in high school.)

    • Pseudonym

      Well, those Protestants are obviously wrong. They accept the scriptures as the inerrant word of God, and the Gospels say that Jesus founded the Church and declared Peter its head. And since that church was the ancestor of today’s Catholic Church, and Protestants accept the authority of that Church up to at least the Council of Nicaea, and God wouldn’t let the church he personally founded mislead people, all dissenters from the Holy See are apostates or heretics.

      Love,
      Dagchester

  • Origami Isopod

    If anyone has a craving for high-test lunacy that easily exceeds any of the quotes in the OP, check out one Mr. Drake Shelton in the Courier-Journal discussion on this subject. Some of the best stuff, for some values of “best,” is in this thread, started by a Louisville priest.

    • Origami Isopod

      Oops. Actual link to discussion thread started by priest.

      Also note Shelton’s entirely shocking FB avatar.

      • Mr. Shelton seems to be serving as a chew toy for everyone else in the room. And the loonies at the meeting got gnawed on by Op-Ed.

      • BigHank53

        Mr. Shelton does refer to the Yankee Industrialist Robber Barons, which is pretty good. Unfortunately that seems to be his peak effort.

      • PSP

        Wow. Peak Wingnut has been achieved.

        • Origami Isopod

          I dunno. People keep saying that, and then the wingnuts keep on raising the bar.

          • Gabriel Ratchet

            Yeah, you scrape the bottom of the barrel long enough and you find out it’s barrels all the way down …

        • anthrofred

          Closer to a Wingnut Singularity, actually.

      • Kurzleg

        Yankee
        Industrialist
        Robber
        Barons
        Oh, my!

        • ChrisTS

          You left out ‘Aphrodite’!

          • Gregor Sansa

            You mean “Pagan, Atheist”. “Aphrodite” is a shit adjective.

    • cpinva

      I suspect mr. Shelton believes he would have been a plantation owner, back in the day, had not those Yankees & Marxist/hegelions not taken that opportunity from him. little does he realize he’d most likely have been poor, white trash, one small step above the slaves he fondly pines for.

      • Oooh. That would make a great Twilight Zone episode. NeoConfederate douchegargle spends his time pining for the lost glory of the Old South, gets his wish to be sent back to the ante-bellum South. Poof! He wakes and finds he’s an indentured servant.

        • Origami Isopod

          Oh, god. There isn’t enough K-Y popcorn in the world to accompany such programming.

          • Gregor Sansa

            K-Y popcorn, ewww.

            • Origami Isopod

              Goes great with the beard-yeast beer.

        • ChrisTS

          Better if he wakes up as one of his black ancestors.

          • Origami Isopod

            + all the numbers

          • Better if he wakes up as one of his black XX ancestors.

            Fiqqst.

        • UserGoogol

          No, those sorts of “why should I listen to you, you’re Hitler!” episodes were a bit too ham-fisted.

          What you do is make him a plantation owner, nice and comfy. At first he’s uncomfortable with facing the reality of actually owning slaves, but eventually he embraces it and becomes a vicious master. Meanwhile, as he acclimates to Southern high society he starts complaining that the South isn’t living up to “real traditional values” and he starts being nostalgic for the middle ages instead. So he’s just a bitter evil old man in a different time period and then the Civil War happens.

        • Colin Day

          Wasn’t there something like that in the Twilight Zone movie? With Vic Morrow?

    • Pseudonym

      Skoalrebel is still around?

      • Origami Isopod

        Harrumph.

  • rm

    I speak wingnut, a little. The Kentucky dialect is especially difficult.

    I think this is Pastor Singleton’s logic:

    Children are property.
    Children are either the property of the Church, or of the State.
    If children are the property of the Church, 100% of everything in their lives must come from the Church.
    If less than 100% of everything in their lives comes from the Church, they are no longer the property of the Church, and are now the property of the State.
    There are no neutral ideas — all ideas, facts, and pieces of information must serve one master, either the Church, or the State.
    If children are given an idea that is not from the Church, they are being claimed by the State, which is Fascism.

    • DrS

      The authoritarian mind cannot comprehend a mind that is not.

      • calling all toasters

        Autism can be like that.

        • Origami Isopod

          Come on, don’t conflate a neurological condition that does not make its sufferers into moral monsters with… moral monsters.

    • That is very, very, good rm.

      • rm

        I blush. It comes from association with homeschoolers, who are not all on the same page regarding basic epistemology and post-Enlightenment metaphysics.

  • DrDick

    I do love the way that Talibangelicals regard an inability to force their religion on everyone in secular public institutions like schools as a violation of their freedom of religion.

    • cpinva

      they regard marriage equality the same way.

    • Talibangelicals regard an inability to force their religion on everyone in secular public institutions like schools as a violation of their freedom of religion.

      Tidied.

      Hence the extra hilarity of the squeals about Hitlercommienazis.

      • DrDick

        Yeah, the line about socialism “brainwashing” children brought a chuckle for me as well. If they had any self awareness, they would implode.

        • ChrisTS

          In fact, their own brains have never been washed – not even aerated.

    • witless chum

      Well, it’s they’re religion that they’re super special and get to tell you what to do.

    • Mike G

      They proclaim “There’s no freedom FROM religion in the Constitution.” Methinks they would change their tune rather quickly if a clerk at the DMV made them listen to a Muslim prayer before receiving their license.

  • anono

    According to her linkedin, Ms. Gore is very aware of the problems associated with leaving Jesus out of Democracy. Namely: Clinton got blow jobs AND killed hundreds, Kennedy did the same, John Kerry kills babies, and some guy named Burr shot some other guy a while back.

    She does know Spanish pretty well! However, she has 0 connections. Probably due to the “spiritual warfare” experience. Hard to make friends on that beat.

    • JoyfulA

      Interesting self-portrait to put on LinkedIn! No doubt employers have been beating down her door.

  • I sincerely believe that as long as there are exams, there will always be prayer in school.

  • Sam

    This is a pretty silly thing to argue about.

    If those people in New York City don’t want prayer…

    Fine

    If those in BFE want prayer…

    Fine

    We have local standards for smut, why not for prayer?

    • Hogan

      If those in BFE want prayer…

      they can pray. No one is stopping them.

      • You never call me anymore.

    • Uncle Kvetch
      • sharculese the ignoranus

        Damn that cat is all about those pancakes.

    • sharculese the ignoranus

      It’s weird because nobody even mention prayer, but you do realize the elected representatives of the people of Kentucky adopted these standards, and it’s the Bible-thumpers who are being petulant, right?

    • DocAmazing

      We have local standards for smut, why not for prayer?

      Excellent point. We need to have mandatory smut viewings in the public schools, with an opt-out for those Godless parents who object, and all appropriate ostracization for their children.

      • Mini__B is three years from 1st grade. We still have time!

        • DocAmazing

          I look forward to football players thanking Jenna Jameson for their on-field performance, and celebrating touchdowns with a hollow-fist back-and-forth gesture.

          • I look forward to the locker inspections where the custodians tape pin-ups inside the doors of unprepared students.

      • Anonymous

        We need to have mandatory smut viewings in the public schools…

        Already being done

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