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“We’d always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, Injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called ‘baseball.’”

[ 183 ] February 5, 2013 |

Shorter Rich Lowry:  “The Super Bowl, like the country, has really gone to hell, what with the talented black women replacing the untalented cranky nostalgic white guys and all.”

Comments (183)

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  1. Davis says:

    So Lowry prefers Paul Harvey’s treacle to Beyonce. And they wonder why they’re losing that culture war they obsess about.

  2. BigHank53 says:

    So I clink on the link and I get to see Rich Lowry giving a mawkish, sentimental tugjob to a corpse. Thanks a lot.

    Seriously, though: is there anyone better at seeing things that just aren’t there than Mr. Lowry?

  3. socraticsilence says:

    Harvey’s thing was okay…for about 30 second then it started to get really annoying and way over the top in its piety and romanticism about farmers. Gotta love America’s #1 welfare recipients not having that mentioned.

    • JKTHs says:

      Um, everyone knows that Midwest farmers are the most self-reliant and independent people ever, and that America’s #1 welfare recipients are those Cadillac-driving, T-bone steak-buying blahs

    • spencer says:

      It really amazed me how much of a positive response that ad got among my friends on Facebook. It was enough to make me question my own judgment for hating it – had I just become, over the years, a hard-hearted cynic?

      But then I watched it again.

  4. Jeffrey Beaumont says:

    This is too bad, because the Harvey bit, without the shitty trucks attached to it, is kind of interesting. But it is also the simple low hanging fruit that a culture warrior with an IQ of 75 like Lowry couldn’t help but pick, throw on the ground, and wallow in like a filthy animal. That’s the problem with conservatives. It isnt that some of the “old America” stuff isnt nice, its just that they flog the shit out of it and make it obnoxious.

    • Eric says:

      I vote for this next year.

    • STH says:

      I had a conversation with my then-boss a few years ago in which he told me he loved the movie “Roadhouse” (yes, really) because he likes movies where “there are good guys and bad guys and the good guys win in the end.”

      That’s what they want: shallow sentimentality and simple black-and-white situations. None of the complexity of real life.

  5. brewmn says:

    Beyonce’ ain’t very talented, although she takes a nice photo. But if Rich Lowry is looking for edification in a Super Bowl halftime show, I think he’s doing it wrong.

    • DrDick says:

      And it has always been that way.

      • David W. says:

        Beyonce is talented enough, but having seen Tina Turner in her prime she’s got a lot of leg to live up to is all I gotta say.

        • DrDick says:

          Actually, I was only referring to the lack of edification, having no opinion on the Beyonce.

          • Sherm says:

            One would figure that a free market guy like Lowery would understand that the advertisers and the paying customers demand a little more at half-time than some random marching band.

        • djangermats says:

          Oh look its the thread for opinions for old people

          How nice

          • David W. says:

            Obviously you have issues imagining your parents having sex to the sound of rock and roll. Oh well.

            • djangermats says:

              I’m sure they had plenty of sex to the old people music that old people enjoyed a million years ago.

              • DrDick says:

                Wait your time junior. Someday they will be saying the same thing to you.

                • JKTHs says:

                  Except they will literally mean a million years ago due to huge advances in life expectancy.

                • David W. says:

                  Much as I’d like to believe that, I’m afraid we’re all going to be dead in the not-so-long run.

                • djillionsmix says:

                  I actually just realized i missed the word “of leg” in your initial comment which obv makes it a different opinion than the opinion i thought it was.

                  I mean it’s still an insane opinion but it’s w/ev.

              • David W. says:

                Tina Turner still looks pretty good for being a million years old, come to think of it.

    • SeanH says:

      Bullshit, Beyonce’s enormously talented.

      • Richard says:

        I’m not a great fan of her hits but she is one talented woman. And if you saw that movie where she played Etta James, she saw that she can really sing all types of stuff. Her version of I’d Rather Go Blind was stunning.

        • Davis says:

          I enjoyed the high energy show. She has a hot bod and a great voice, so what’s not to like? But that apparently disturbs conservatives.

        • brewmn says:

          Haven’t seen the Etta James biopic, but her own music suuuuucks. And man, am I sick of that style of “dancing.”

          • Marek says:

            All your lawn are belong to us.

          • redwoods says:

            Yes, in your incredible-boring-man opinion. Which is incredibly boring.

            • brewmn says:

              Just because the kids like it doesn’t mean it’s interesting. And there’s nothing funnier than middle-aged white dudes telling me how awesome Lady Gaga, or Lupe Fiasco, or whatever else lame flavor of the month is. This may shock you, but liking that crap still doesn’t make you cool.

              • spencer says:

                This may shock you, but neither does grumpy-old-man contrarianism. Jesus Christ, you sound like a “Crankshaft” comic strip.

                • brewmn says:

                  Is this the same jagoff named “spencer” preaching civility a couple of comments down?

                  And I’m guessing most of Beyonce’s defenders on this thread couldn’t name more than one of her hits without resorting to Wikipedia.

                  So please, tell, me, spencer (since you;re all about people “backing their opinions up”) – what makes Beyonce so great? How many of her songs do you have downloaded on your iPhone?

                • Richard says:

                  Few people are claiming that she’s the greatest artist in the world. What some of us are saying is that she’s got a voice, is drop dead gorgeous, can dance and has got a big entertainment personality. The fact that I don’t have any songs of hers on my iPod only means that I prefer different types of music, not that she’s not talented. I dont have any Streisand on my iPod either but I wouldn’t be so stupid as to claim that she can’t sing, only that I dont happen to like that type of singing.
                  If you had just said that you don’t like her singing or her dancing or her halftime show or her shtick, nobody would have said anything. But to take it several steps further and claim that she’s not talented, thats just somewhat demented.

                • (the other) Davis says:

                  How many of her songs do you have downloaded on your iPhone?

                  Some folks can actually hold the simultaneous views “I think Artist A is talented” and “I don’t like Artist A’s work.” Crazy, isn’t it?

                • William Berry says:

                  To brewman, above:
                  I’ll tell you what makes her great: that hair-poofing gag in “Austin Powers 3: Goldmember”, that’s what!

              • sharculese says:

                WAKE THE FUCK UP, SHEEPLE!

              • redwoods says:

                I’m a middle-aged white man!?!!? How novel!

            • wjts says:

              Hey, I don’t like Beyonce very much either. And there’s a popular television program that I find dull and tiresome. And they’ve stopped making the kind of socks that I like. And – hey, where are you going? GOD DAMN IT, I HAVE MANY IMPORTANT OPINIONS TO SHARE ON THE INTERNET AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ALL OF THEM!

              • brewmn says:

                Funny, I thought these discussion threads were all about sharing opinions. I wish someone had issued a disclaimer at the outset that only opinions wjts likes should be shared.

                • wjts says:

                  Dude, I agree with you – I don’t like Beyonce very much. Your opinion is one that I both like and share.

                  Now let’s talk about how they don’t make the kind of socks that I like anymore. You go first.

                • spencer says:

                  They’re also about backing up your opinions – or, if you can’t do that, not being a jackass to people who don’t share them.

                • Sherm says:

                  These are subjective opinions based upon personal tastes and preferences — they cannot be backed up. But perhaps they can be voiced in a less strident fashion. As the old saying goes, opinions are like assholes, we all have one.

                • Njorl says:

                  Brewmn is merely engaging in a time-honored LGM practice

              • Anonymous says:

                I’m actually interested in the bit about the socks.

                • Njorl says:

                  That’s me.

                  I hate how after you wash them a few times they get all hard even if you use fabric softener. And they put this thick non-elastic thread around the top that cuts into my calves.

                • wjts says:

                  Wigwam, I think it was, used to make a really nice 100% wool sock. The toes were remarkably durable, which is for some reason a problem for me. They seem to have discontinued that particular style. Also, there was an Army-Navy store near where my folks lived that sold thick Navy surplus socks made from a wool/cotton blend which were great for really cold weather. I imagine those are still made, but I haven’t been able to find them anywhere since the Army-Navy in question closed up shop.

                  These have been my thoughts on the fact that they don’t make the kind of socks I like anymore.

                • (the other) Davis says:

                  I hate how after you wash them a few times they get all hard even if you use fabric softener.

                  I’ve had good experiences with Smartwool socks retaining their softness over the long term. But I always seem to wear holes in them far too quickly. Also, they’re not cheap.

                • elm says:

                  Socks made from bamboo fibers tend to retain their softness. Mercerized cotton is pretty good, too.

                  My bigger issue with socks is that the elastic at the top seems to get crackly before the rest of the sock is shot.

          • (the other) Davis says:

            So “ain’t very talented”=”I don’t like her style.” Thanks for sharing your incredibly parochial opinion.

            • brewmn says:

              Why don’t one of you actually explain what made her halftime show so awesome? Because it all seemed like a bunch of over-produced, largely melody-free, histrionic nonsense? In other words, like every other Super Bowl hafltime show.

              Hating on Rich Lowry without pretending Beyonce is at the level of even, say, Prince or Madonna is not that hard.

              • Uncle Kvetch says:

                Hating on Rich Lowry without pretending Beyonce is at the level of even, say, Prince or Madonna is not that hard.

                Wow. In terms of sheer ability (as in singing, dancing, stage presence) I think Beyonce blows Madonna away without even trying.

                I’m not crazy about her music either…but she is a phenom.

                • brewmn says:

                  Madonna was a musical trailblazer, and some of her songs are actually enjoyable to listen and/or sing along with. Beyonce’s a Janet Jackson retread.

                • Camille Paglia says:

                  Madonna was a musical trailblazer

                  Hey, that’s my shtick

                • What trail did Madonna blaze?

                • Uncle Kvetch says:

                  What trail did Madonna blaze?

                  I recall coming across a quote from Robyn Hitchcock many years ago, along the lines of “She’s revolutionary: she’s proven that even if you’re not particularly beautiful or talented, as long as you wear your underwear on the outside, the boys will still go for you.”

                  Probably not doing that quote justice. Nobody can do Robyn justice except Robyn.

              • Hogan says:

                Did someone say the halftime show was awesome?

                • LosGatosCA says:

                  The last time I saw the Super Bowl halftime show was – never. It’s a great opportunity to go to Home Depot and have the full attention of their lone staffer and have zero wait at the checkout.

                  Also commercials are a great time to get more refreshments.

                  And blackouts are great too – to get the second coat of stain on your spare bedroom floor you are refinishing.

              • Sherm says:

                Sorry, but Madonna’s half-time show sucked just as much as Beyonce’s, if not more.

              • Davis says:

                I already explained: she has a hot bod and a great voice. What the hell do you want from a goddam Super Bowl halftime show?

          • Richard says:

            It wasnt an Etta James biopic. It was the story of Chess Records (cant remember the title right now). Adrien Brody played Leonard Chess, Beyonce played Etta, other major characters were Muddy Waters, Howlin Wolf and Little Walter. Flawed movie but definitely worth watching. Beyonce was very good.

            And while I’m not a big fan of the pop stuff she puts out, she is one talented singer/actress/dancer/personality.

            • pete says:

              Cadillac Records. I agree, worth watching.

              • Richard says:

                Yeah, as somebody who saw Muddy and the Wolf many times in their prime, I thought the two actors who played them did a great job and had their looks and mannerisms down. And the versions of the Chess blues masterpieces in the movie, while not as good as the original, were still damn good (with the music being played by Kim Wilson’s band).

      • Yeah, she is. Amazing performer, amazing singer.

        Hatas gonna hate.

        • DrDick says:

          Frankly, both brewmn and djangermats annoy the shit out of me. They are exactly the same, each assumes their personal taste in music is definitive and that gives them the right to be arrogant and condescending to anyone who disagrees. A pox on both their houses. I do not give a shit whether you like my music and it does not bother me if you listen to stuff I do not like. It really does not matter. I do object to condescending jerks.

          • Malaclypse says:

            Off topic, but I seem to recall that you have a dislike of the term “alpha male.” If you, you may enjoy the Vox Day/John Scalzi kerfluffle, which has a punch line here with the totally awesome Gamma Rabbit.

            • DrDick says:

              LOL. That is pretty sweet, and has some bearing on the current pointless pissing match. I actually have no problem with the term “alpha male” when it is appropriately applied, as to some species of baboons. What I object to is the misapplication of the term to species who are organized differently, such as chimpanzees, bonobos, or humans (also some other baboon species).

  6. mark f says:

    The NROer is resourceful. He will give in March a half-drunken “symposium” on the definciencies of rap music aboard a Caribbean cruise meant to fundraise for his unprofitable enterprise, and then he’ll do it again in October. The NROer is committed. He will arise before 8 on a Friday to ensure delivery of his half-assed humor column barely after it’s due. The NROer is generous. He will accept a mid-six-figure advance to regurgitate bromides for 213 widely-spaced pages, only to have thousands of copies given away at hundreds of paid-admission conferences across the country.

    • Bob says:

      I don’t wanna see the visuals that go along with this. Pics of J Lo and Doughy Pantload trashed aboard the SS Bircher, Lowry beating off to a picture of Sarah Palin, the zombie corpse of Buckley mistreating the help…..

  7. The real irony is that Lowry’s “side” was the one most responsible for killing family farms.

    • mds says:

      No, that was the “death tax.” Well do I remember my father’s stories of how he and my grandfather had to tearfully throw in the towel, unable to continue farming because their farm was worth too much money to afford the eventual estate tax once my grandfather died, and then my grandmother died, and then my father had only ten years to pay off the tax due on the amount above a $60,000 cutoff (which was a seven-figure cutoff by the time my grandmother actually died, but they couldn’t know that). So they sold out and moved to town, taking a roundabout route to avoid government-financed roads wherever possible.

    • djangermats says:

      Its not irony so much as necrophilia

  8. wjts says:

    “And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, ‘I need a caretaker’ — so God made a farmer.”

    And that little farmer, whom nobody liked, grew up and murdered his brother the shepherd in a fit of jealous rage.

    And now you know… the rest of the story.

  9. scottmichael says:

    Ah, you reckless youth, with your fast roadsters and your RUMBLE SEATS …

  10. Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    About 30 seconds in, after roughly the 763rd mentioning of “god” I knew something strange was afoot. It wasn’t election time so I knew this was no Republican campaign ad. Now all that remained was to see which shitty American product would be tied to the heart-strings. Blech. The whole thing made me queasy.

    I suppose I was just not in the mood for this type of sentiment since I had just recently watched Ken Burns “National Parks” and “Dustbowl,” both of which didn’t show America’s constant desire to reap every last penny of profit from the land, in a very positive light.

    • efgoldman says:

      It didn’t take me even 30 seconds. When I heard “god” and Zombie Paul Harvey’s voice, it was already refrain-from-throwing-a-shoe time. I didn’t care what the product was.

  11. Sly says:

    Hey, I think that Dodge Ram just winked at me!

  12. JKTHs says:

    Excellent title for this post

  13. Major Kong says:

    Shorter every pickup truck commercial – “Dude, if you drive this truck you are so not gay”.

  14. Murc says:

    Am I the only one who didn’t mind the farmer thing? I mean, seriously?

    I mean, yes, Paul Harvey was kind of loathsome. But christ, people. This is a blog with a significant amount of it’s content devoted to labor issues. While they don’t make up a large amount of the workforce today, small farmers spent most of American history getting the shit kicked out of them, doing hard work for uncertain remuneration and often being preyed on by land speculators and commodity brokers.

    They also formed significant parts of a lot of populist and labor-centric movements. Oklahoma was a hotbed of socialism for years because of… farmers. (Illegal immigrant farmers, to boot.) The old northwest and upper midwest have a number of venerable public institutions that came from pushes by farmers, such as North Dakota Mill and Elevator.

    So yeah, I’m pretty okay with farmers getting some paeans. You know? It seems like they kind of deserve it, along with all the other laboring classes.

    • ploeg says:

      Considering that they did Clint Eastwood last time around, Paul Harvey and generic farmers are an improvement.

      That being said, and allowing for many farmers still being hard-working dawn-to-dusk cusses, farmers are businesspeople whose businesses are well protected by government, and are sympathetic only insofar as they run up against corporations.

      • BigHank53 says:

        Archer Daniels Midland, Inc, is totally a farmer, and you can expect one or two of five of their congressmen to ask the IRS to audit down to your hair follicles if you say otherwise.

      • Johnnie says:

        Really, that’s the only way someone can be sympathetic if they operate their own business? And honestly, considering the debts that small farmers incur, I would hardly call them “protected.” We’re talking families where both spouses put in 60-80 hour weeks (plus all that unpaid child labor) and then net maybe $50,000 in a year. Subsidies, in the end, tend to benefit processors and large retailers far more than small producers at the source whose operating expenses are pretty astronomical.

        That being said, there is a ridiculous level of income inequality within agriculture (oh yeah, kind of like in America generally). The economies of scale for a confined dairy farm milking several thousand head (or some other CAFO, or a soybean producer with 10,000 acres, etc), combined with subsidies (which are expanded for the larger operators) are such that the people running these sorts of operations are ridiculously wealthy and employ underpaid migrant/immigrant labor and small farmers who couldn’t stay in the game financially. Agriculture in the United States is really more of a microcosm of the prevailing economic trends than anything else.

        • Njorl says:

          I used to defend family farmers in discussions, and distinguish them from corporate farmers, until I learned that they are almost all multi-millionaires.

          • Johnnie says:

            Serisously? In 2009 the average net earnings of farms with less than a quarter million dollars in sales (9 out of 10 farms) was under $3,000. Most family farms require at least one source of completely non-farm related income to make ends of meet. May I ask what deliriously prosperous pocket of rural America you’ve derived your anecdotal evidence from? I don’t know what’s worse, the moronic deification or the insipid demonization of agriculture.

    • Uncle Ebeneezer says:

      Two reasons why I think this sort of ad rubs many the wrong way. 1.) The image of farmers has been co-opted and relentlessly used by Republicans to suggest that there is a Real America, with Real American values, and honest work etc. It is offensive in the implication that Real Americans: live in the heartland, are rugged individuals, drive trucks, shoot guns, go to church, have traditional marriage values, etc., because it always suggests that the rest of us are somehow less American. The media does little to combat this negative meme. Especially when you add in the fact of how often these calls for everyone to praise “traditional America” can be easily seen as thinly-veiled racist dog-whistling. It’s not the farmer’s fault but it’s annoying nonetheless. 2.) Voting patterns and attitudes. And for this the farmers (not all of course) DO deserve blame. For anyone who cares about progressive actions on matters like: LGBT rights, improved science education, gun safety, renewable energy, separation of church/state, and many others, the areas of this country with the highest concentration of farmers, are routinely preventing positive change. So the combination of having our political interests often thwarted by the inability to get the needed Red State votes, while also being constantly told that the people in these states are the Real Americans, is a combination that easily breeds contempt.

      • Cody says:

        I, in an awful sort of way, enjoyed the farmers in dark Red States needing the Farm Bill to pass.

        Oh, we vote Republican 100% of the time. We need drought relief!

        The Republicans are holding us all hostage to make a point? Who could have seen that coming.

      • Haystack says:

        + plus +

      • Chester Allman says:

        This sums up my feelings about the ad very well, though there was a voice in my head arguing Murc’s position too.

    • Gareth Wilson says:

      The ad was clearly talking about farmers who own their land, which means they’re capital, not labour.

      • Murc says:

        That’s technically true, but historically speaking small farmers, despite owning their own land, had WAY more in common with labor than with capital. Someone working themselves half to death in the midwest so the bank doesn’t take the farm wasn’t really on the side of “capital” in any meaningful way.

        And they knew it, too. Again: farmers formed integral components of a lot of the most economically progressive movements this country has had.

        It is entirely true that the modern small farmer is an endangered species, although there’s still some out there. But that’s an entirely different thing.

    • Jay B. says:

      I liked it. For awhile. Even the Harvey thing, I mean, Christ, if only the shitbag right had a guy who could actually speak coherently anymore and had an ounce of compassion toward anyone, it would be a welcome change. So yes, I thought it was mostly well-executed (:30 seconds would have been better! — signed, an Ad Pro).

      Trouble: They ripped it off from some YouTube clip.. I don’t know why that peeves me, I guess. But it does.

    • Jeff says:

      The American farmer: killing everything in the Gulf of Mexico and the Chesapeake Bay since 1976

  15. CJColucci says:

    So Rich Lowry would rather shoot a few starbursts toward Paul Harvey than toward Beyonce. To each his own.

  16. Lowry:

    All the fantastic glitz and sometimes hilarious vulgarity that define the events around the Super Bowl — the halftime shows and the ads — can’t make up for a desperate poverty of expression. No one has anything to say and, in any case, wouldn’t know how to say it.

    Allow me to present my collection of tweets from former National Review Online editor and current contributing editor Kathryn Jean Lopez.

  17. Bob says:

    “Delivered by Harvey, who could make a pitch for laundry detergent sound like a passage from the King James Bible, it packs great rhetorical force.”
    Lowry means that as a compliment, although I think it gets to the heart of the matter of what was wrong with the commercial. Harvey operated at one speed for decades. He read everything – important news stories, jokes, commercials, fluff, obituaries – in the exact same timbre. Listening to his stentorian tones on the speech used in this commercial is a strange experience – he would have used the exact same tones had he been reading ad copy about MPG and rebates.
    When everything has resonance, nothing has resonance.

  18. Deggjr says:

    …untalented cranky nostalgic white guys…

    To be fair, many of them were talented once upon a time. However I am still grateful The Who didn’t sing My Generation during their half time show.

    • Sherm says:

      As someone who derived zero pleasure from watching Beyonce and Madonna, I must say that the Who was pretty bad as well. The only half-time shows I recall truly enjoying as of late were Prince and Tom Petty, especially Petty. Springsteen and the Stones were just ok.

      • JKTHs says:

        Springsteen was OK. I thought the Stones were awful.

        • Sherm says:

          I thought the Stones were awful.

          I could never bring myself to ever write or utter those words.

        • Murc says:

          I maintain that the reason Springsteen’s halftime show was merely okay is that he sang his old stuff.

          That’s expected, of course, but Bruce’s voice has changed NOTICEABLY in the last thirty years. He’s lost that rasp he used to have. That has not impacted his skill as a musician one bit, and you don’t even notice when listening to his modern albums. But when he tries to belt out ‘Born to Run’ again, it’s different enough from what we’ve all internalized from a million hours of radio play to be… jarring.

          Not BAD, per se. But different enough to land in some sort of musical uncanny valley.

          • Sherm says:

            I just didn’t think that his songs worked well in an abbreviated set like that where you’re playing portions of songs, and I didn’t care for his new song with the gospel singers. Its half time of the super bowl — play the greatest hits.

      • David W. says:

        U2 did a good half-time show too, but yeah, Prince’s was musically the best I’ve heard and the rain was nicely timed.

        • Sherm says:

          Yeah, they did, and I like U2 quite a bit now that I have gotten over With or With You and have recovered from Zooropia, but I nevertheless find their bombast grating, and I’m reluctant to give them credit for much as there is certainly no dearth of U2 love in the world.

    • Njorl says:

      “Hope I die before I get really, really, old”

  19. bradP says:

    I didn’t watch any part of the Super Bowl this year. Was it not nonstop lowest-common-denominator obnoxiousness?

    • JKTHs says:

      There was a lot of John Harbaugh trying to show how smart, clever, and unconventional he is, like having your kicker try to run for 9 yards instead of kicking a 30 yard field goal.

    • David W. says:

      I have to say that the game itself was interesting and that the power outage really did give the 49ers a much needed break after that big second-half kickoff return when the emotional momentum was all on the Ravens’ side. So what was looking to be a boring blowout turned into nail-biter at the end if you were a fan of either team. The CBS announcing team was pretty boring, the commercials mostly lame (except the Oreo one) and the half-time show was fun, but the most emotional moment was when the choir from the Sandy Hook Elementary School performed “America” with Jennifer Hudson. Which made the Super Bowl’s return to post-Katrina New Orleans fitting enough.

      • Richard says:

        It was a great football game to watch. Blowout turns into close game, Niners have chance to win it, Baltimore defense stops them, then the rarely used intentional safety and speculation about the rarest play in football (free kick after fair catch). And both quarterbacks played exceptionally well.

        And the economic boost that it gave to New Orleans was an added plus. The sponsor parties taking place there over the last week were over the top but provided a hell of a lot of money to a lot of deserving workers in the hospitality and entertainment industries.

  20. djangermats says:

    Beyonce is a great litmus test to haters because of how spectacularly arguments from talent fail.

    If someone says the back eyed peas sucked its like, well, yeah. But Beyonce? Nah you just a hater

    • brewmn says:

      Oh, good, it’s the thread for opinions from trend-hopping hipster wannabes.

      • Scott Lemieux says:

        Accusing people who like any music that you don’t of being “hipsters,” how fresh and interesting.

      • Sherm says:

        Hipsters like Beyonce and Doritos? I have a lot to learn about hipsterism apparently. I knew about Pabst Blue Ribbon, but had no clue about Beyonce and Doritos. And Pepsi? I assumed that they would prefer New Coke or RC Cola.

        • brewmn says:

          No, people who think “massively successful pop sensation who just performed at the fucking Super Bowl” is a testament to musical talent apparently think popularity is a reliable indicator of quality, and presumably like other mass-produced crap like Doritos and Pepsi.

          Hipsters, on the other hand, cynically pretend to like dreck like Beyonce’s music in order to demonstrate how hip they are as compared to those who don’t pretend to like such dreck.

          Maybe everyone commenting on this thread really is seventeen. It’s the only way to explain the inexplicable outpouring of Beyonce’ love.

          • sharculese says:

            It was more of a reliable indicator of ‘things that are not the sole and exclusive province of hipsters,’ but w/e, dude.

          • Sherm says:

            I’m no fan of Beyonce or of her style of music, and I agree with much of what you have said. But, seriously, lighten up Francis. To each his or her own.

          • Scott Lemieux says:

            DO you know what’s more annoying than hipsterism? People who make sweeping generalizations about other people’s motives for liking things that have no basis whatsoever. Do you know what’s really stupid? Assuming that because something is popular that it must not have any value. (I’m so old I remember when that was a hipster fallacy!)

            • brewmn says:

              You’re right, of course. The blog up until today has been bursting at the seams with the awesomeness that is Beyonce. I’m just intentionally ignoring that fact in order to be a dick.

              And while we disagree about the quality of her music (I now believe all my attackers, all of her defenders here really do love it), I’m not assuming that it sucks simply because it’s popular. I’ve heard it. I know it sucks because it’s derivative, largely tuneless, and indistinguishable from that of a dozen other dance-pop divas.

              But that’s just, like, my opinion, man.

        • Uncle Ebeneezer says:

          I’d put my bet on Moxie, Fresca or Squirt. Most of the hipsters I know don’t care much about the Super Bowl or Beyonce. They must be posers.

          • DrDick says:

            I have to say that I have blessedly been spared the whole tedious hipster schtick living here in Montana and do not know its actual manifestations and parameters. It is an urban thing and when your largest city has fewer than 100K people, that ain’t here (I live in the second largest, with a whopping 70K).

      • djangermats says:

        I enjoy how your response to anyone who doesn’t share your embarrassingly poor taste is for you to accuse them of secretly sharing your poor taste and only pretending to like things that are good, because HYIPST-HURRS

        Its a nice tacit admission that your views are indefensible on their merits.

        Also holy lol @ “DA bomb”, way to let everyone know you’re defrosting gripes you’ve had on ice since 1997.

    • witless chum says:

      Yeah, pretty much. She’s not really my thing, but she can obviously sing, dance, craft a hook, etc.

      The nice thing I notice during the Super Bowl was she smiles a lot during her performance. Too many singers grimace like they’re passing a kidney stone.

      • djangermats says:

        Yeah she does an amazing job at appearing to actually enjoy herself during these massive pop concert production things. Whether its sincere or she’s just good at faking it as part of her performance its rare and makes things like eg this Superbowl thing a lot less perfunctory and more actually watchable.

      • Uncle Kvetch says:

        She’s not really my thing, but she can obviously sing, dance, craft a hook, etc.

        That’s what I thought I thought too, but now I’ve been set straight, and I realize that what I really think is that she’s the greatest single pop artist who has ever lived, even though I really don’t think that, I just pretend to so I can maintain credibility with all my hipster friends.

        Or something.

  21. Reilly says:

    “Sit down here child, and I’ll tell you about a simpler time, before the excessive use of Roman numerals…”

  22. sharculese says:

    So this thread has been going on for a while now and I have to say I still can’t see ‘walking bird’ or ‘injun eyes’ without wanting to giggle a little.

  23. JazzBumpa says:

    I have no interest in Beyonce’s brand of pop music. But I recognize she is very talented.

    If the choice is between Paul Harvey’s slice of pseudo-nostalgic bull shit and Beyonce’s smooth, tight derriere, then it’s a pretty easy decision.

    You young guys might find this hard to believe, but at my advanced age, having a hot, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous scantily-clad gyrating female appeal to my prurient interest is actually a good thing.

    Truly.

    • brewmn says:

      If the choice is between Paul Harvey’s slice of pseudo-nostalgic bull shit and Beyonce’s smooth, tight derriere, then it’s a pretty easy decision.

      Amen.

  24. RWeiler says:

    Not sure what Lowry is complaining about; in the old days, half time was when you went to the bathroom, got something to eat, and grabbed another beer. Now, it’s the time when you go to the bathroom, get something to eat,and grab another beer. The one big difference is that we now have DVRs so if you plan it right, you can start watching after half time, skip through all of the commercials, and watch all of the action without missing anything of consequence. I, unfortunately, did not set the DVR so suffered through Paul Harvey’s interminable ode to heroic truck buyers. I did miss the 1/2 time show though, so that’s something.

  25. AlanDownunder says:

    Bring back Kid Rock!
    (ducks)

    To many talented black men on the field as well?

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