This Week in Gun Fetish Paranoia
Obama “VIPER” Death Squads v The Second Amendment.
From the original MJ story:
Various tea party activists, libertarian websites and other conspiracy-minded Obama haters are claiming that Russian security forces have discovered that Obama is about to unleash “death squads” across America to assassinate defenders of the Second Amendment.
I knew that trusting shady Russian intelligence operatives with this information was a tenuous proposition, but nobody would listen to me.
firehat:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:33 am
It’s fairly common in these circles to hear of some nefarious plot against the American people uncovered by Russian intelligence. Odd how people who are the direct descendants of Birchers think the modern KGB has their interests at heart.
bradP:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:34 am
With their perverse hero worship of Chris Kyle, one would think that the TSA would only need to become efficient assassins to become respected – and dare I say, loved – by these circles.
c u n d gulag:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:35 am
Death squads for defenders of the 2nd Amendment!
Really?
Just when you think the right’s ‘stupid amp’ is as loud as it can possibly get, at 11, they bring out a new amp that goes up to 12.
I think that in some parts of the country, they need to replace the Flouride in the water, with Thorazine.
These people are feckin’ nuts.
Brutusettu:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:56 am
I’m thinking that these same Russian security forces probably uncovered Bush and Cheney’s secret, the spontaneously generated, perfectly placed, and invisibly detonating controlled demolitions in the Twin Towers and Building 7.
Those demolitions are as real as the confidence fairy or the invisible dragon in my garage I tell ya.
owlbear1:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:07 am
This is just like that time Jesus didn’t show up to whisk them all off to heaven isn’t it?
rea:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:16 am
Don’t thesse people understand that Obama is simply exercising his Second Amendment remedy against them? After all, an armed society is a polite society, and the way the’ve treated Obama is pretty damn rude.
Barry Freed:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:25 am
VIPER Death Squads? Not quite. I have it on good authority that Obama has actually tasked C.O.B.R.A Command for this operation.
NonyNony:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:29 am
Then why is anyone worried? It’ll take years before Cobra Commander secures the leases on all of those Red Rocket franchises for the scheme to work.
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Does Bamz drive his own version of the Pussywagon?
ploeg:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:41 am
Russian intelligence is merely confirming what the voices in their heads already told them.
Major Kong:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:46 am
Comrades! They’re on to us! Quick, back to Moscow!
c u n d gulag:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:54 am
They don’t need to have their guns confiscated.
They need the fillings in their teeth, yanked, and replaced by ones that play Eezee-listenin’ Country.
Nah – make it Rap or Hip-Hop, just to annoy them.
A good dose of classic Public Enemy will do the job.
Data Tutashkhia:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:56 am
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep…
proverbialleadballoon:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:05 am
Wasn’t ‘Fear of a Black Planet’ Romney’s campaign theme song? It was the theme of the campaign, at least.
proverbialleadballoon:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:08 am
The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the tears of wingnuts.
Scott S.:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:14 am
Used to read a wingnut blog that alternated between “ARGH, Socialism! Worser’n the Soviets!” and “Hey, here’s the new Secret Intelligence being reported in Pravda!”
cpinva:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:19 am
i’m guessing there’s a “donation” button, somewhere on those websites. if there isn’t there should be, be a shame to waste the opportunity to take the rube’s cash.
Sly:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Just out of pure curiosity, is there just a sign-up sheet for these VIPER teams? Or is the process more formal, like filling out the Selective Service card?
Ryan F:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Wait, I remember this episode…it’s all just a wacky misunderstanding!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyXrwbg1G7c
ajay:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:40 am
First you must train with Master Pai Mei.
Hogan:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:41 am
My hope is that once all the patriots have been wiped out, it’ll be safe to release the Whitey tape.
Njorl:
February 7th, 2013 at 10:09 am
Or play Champions Online.
Halloween Jack:
February 7th, 2013 at 10:23 am
You play a shitload of FPSs on XBox Live, and when “BarryBamz” sends a friend request, you fucking friend that dude. I can’t tell you what happens after that, my implants won’t let me.
rbcoover:
February 7th, 2013 at 10:46 am
It did take a nation of millions to hold them back.
Aaron B.:
February 7th, 2013 at 10:51 am
Dammit, Brockington! You’re a good agent, but a loose cannon!
xxy:
February 7th, 2013 at 10:55 am
Slightly offtopic, but right this moment the LAPD is searching for a former officer who is currently going on a shooting rampage against other officers, killing one and wounding two others. If only they had a gun on them.
The only death squads roaming around America consist of private citizens shooting innocent people.
Invisible Dragon in Brutusettu's Garage:
February 7th, 2013 at 11:04 am
I post at LGM, therefore I am
wjts:
February 7th, 2013 at 11:56 am
I seem to remember that they’re called Vulture Squadrons, not VIPER Squads. Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!
wengler:
February 7th, 2013 at 2:24 pm
It appears that Russian intelligence has gun manufacturers laughing all the way to the bank. It’s the uncanny axis between churches and gun manufacturers in their centuries-long fleecing of the rubes.
Timb:
February 7th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Good point. I’m glad I wasn’t the only troubled by the hero worship of a sniper. Seems a little morally gray for my tastes
Dick Morris:
February 7th, 2013 at 3:53 pm
I WAS THERE FIRST! I’LL SUE YOU! I AM NOT A CRANK!
DocAmazing:
February 7th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Russian intelligence fills the vaccuum where average intelligence might have resided.
Thlayli:
February 7th, 2013 at 4:35 pm
The latest breathless expose on Facebook today:
From someone who IS NOT A CRANK.
Of all the links of tongue and pen | Fraser Sherman's Blog:
February 7th, 2013 at 6:44 pm
[...] own state currency. •If Russian intelligence discovered Obama’s anti-gun plot, why would it tell conservatives? •William F. Buckley was a textbook example of the bigot who sounds reasonable but [...]
Bill Murray:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:33 pm
so they went with the updated Last Starfighter Innuendo, nice
Bill Murray:
February 7th, 2013 at 7:34 pm
Paranoia will destroy ya
Alan in SF:
February 7th, 2013 at 8:19 pm
Ain’t that just like Obama? Evil mastermind Obama creates a final solution to conservative opposition, and lazy cock-up Obama blows it by bragging about it to his buds in the KGB.
Indiana Joe:
February 7th, 2013 at 9:39 pm
Or off-line, if that’s your thing.
STH:
February 7th, 2013 at 11:01 pm
There is no such thing as peak stupid.
ajay:
February 8th, 2013 at 5:37 am
Ain’t that just like Obama? Evil mastermind Obama creates a final solution to conservative opposition, and lazy cock-up Obama blows it by bragging about it to his buds in the KGB.
“You know, that’s the worst thing about them? How they can be so incapable of rational thought and so bloody shrewd at the same time.” — Samuel Vimes
Uncle Kvetch:
February 8th, 2013 at 8:00 am
Wow. My right-wing cousin’s latest post was positively mild in comparison: Obama and Pelosi are going to try to do away with term limits so he can be president forever. UNLESS WE STOP THEM.