Home / General / Ted Cruz Makes Rand Paul Look Like Henry Clay

Ted Cruz Makes Rand Paul Look Like Henry Clay


Today’s hearings on Chuck Hagel just make me stand by what I said last week about Rand Paul not being one of the 3 worst senators.

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  • Rand Paul attempted to filibuster the PATRIOT Act renewal, and helped block SOPA/PIPA. Absolutely worthless on domestic policy, but that stuff ain’t nothing.

    • scythia

      Worse than worthless on domestic policy, but yeah, did you read his speech to the Heritage Foundation the other day?


      That’s the sanest thing any Republican has publicly said about Iran in at least 10 years.

    • Johnny Sack

      Really? Wow. I have respect for anyone who tries to block the PATRIOT Act, no matter how otherwise awful they might be

      • rea

        Libertarians are like stopped clocks . . .

        • You hang on to them forever with some sort of vague intention of working up the motivation to taking them to a repair shop, but you never do, because like everyone else these days, you’ve got a phone that you use to for the same purpose?

          • Njorl


        • Johnny Sack

          I dunno, I like that Penn and Teller Bullshit show when they talk about the war on drugs and all that jazz-not so much the anti-minimum wage and global warming is a hoax stuff.

          • RhZ

            Yeah but look at what policy positions they actually take action on. You see the drug war in there? I never have.

  • Snarki, child of Loki

    Yeah, well Cruz and Paul have made PLENTY of speeches to radical, extremist organizations.

  • montag2

    Oh, when it comes to rank assholes, this is very much a matter of degree, rather than kind.

    What surprises me, with only a month in office, Cruz has picked up where Joe McCarthy left off. (He even looks like a slightly younger, less dissipated version of Tailgunner Joe.)

    Kentucky, having kept McConnell in office for far, far too long, is apparently too brain-dead to notice just what an embarrassment Paul is, but, evidently, Texas has gone full-metal barking mad. The GOP leadership is going to soon realize that they should have put him in a padded office.

    • thebewilderness

      McConnell is busy with his own foreign investments.

    • When Cruz won the nomination, I was excited/depressed to be able to talk about his utter insanity for at least the next 6 years. He’s an all-time special guy.

      • expatchad

        Yes, he will be a continually giving gift!

      • cpinva

        and i have absolutely zero sympathy for his constituents, over 50% of whom voted for him. it is my hope that his state rots in its own corruptive cesspool, and federal funds are cut to the absolute, bare minimum bone. leave the place as much of a physically dissipated wreck, as it is an intellectual one.

      • Lev

        Still more impressive than Rubio (high bar!). Cruz is mostly self-made, Rubio would be the night manager of a Denny’s had he not made friends with Jeb Bush. He has that kind of mind.

  • rea

    apparently too brain-dead to notice just what an embarrassment Paul is

    Sadly (and baseball fans should be particularly sad about this) Paul is less embarrassingly batshit insane than his predecessor.

    • Fake Irishman

      Right. Paul can speak in complete sentences. We’ll give him that.

  • wengler

    I know in the end this is all about money, and these Republicans see Hagel as Obama’s hatchet man, but really this whole confirmation process has been nuts.

    Republicans are obviously crazy, but think about how terribly damaging this process has been for them. They not only criticized a former colleague of their own party, hell, their own wing of their own party, they destroyed him for day after day. They now have no purchase with him at all, even as he is going to be confirmed and is going to be face of major defense cuts.

    I know Democrats won’t really stick it to these particular people in the end, because they are Democrats, but really, what a bunch of tone-deaf dunces.

    • expatchad

      Wouldn’t be an amazing day for jubilation if Dems suddenly got balls?

      • expatchad

        And/or we got an edit function here…

  • Carbon Man

    Let’s cut to the chase, we all know the big reason liberals hate Cruz.

    Why do they hate him?

    Because he’s Latino.


    • sharculese

      What it is like to desperately need attention and validation from people you hate and fear? Is it as degrading as I imagine?

      • Carbon Man

        I don’t know, I think you should as a homosexual.

        • Malaclypse

          Obsessed troll is obsessed, in a way that is not at all overcompensating.

          • Carbon Man

            Seriously, the whole “gay marriage” movement is nothing but queers and their narcissism–seeking recognition from a society where most people despise them.

            Narcissism and homosexuality, of course, go together like carrots and peas.

            • sharculese

              At this point it’s more like them seeking recognition from a society that’s coming around to the idea that weirdgross obsessions with other people’s sexuality are weird and gross, but tomato, tomahto.

            • Malaclypse

              a society where most people despise them

              Jennie, just because your daddy despised gay people, that doesn’t mean most people agree. We love you just the way God made you.

              • efgoldman

                We love you just the way God made you.

                Speak for yourself. I’m old enough to (a) not believe in god and (b) despise anybody I want to.
                With pancakes.

            • efgoldman

              Narcissism and homosexuality, of course, go together like carrots and peas.

              Or pancakes and syrup.

            • DrDick

              The projection is strong in you, grasshopper.

        • sharculese

          Jenny you can obsess amount my (imagined) sexuality for as long as you want and I’m still not going to fuck you.

          • MAJeff

            Aww, no morning after pancakes.

            • Malaclypse

              What Jennie does with syrup is best left unimagined.

              • expatchad

                Ohmygawd. Now you’ve done it. Please be careful, I’ll be disturbed for hours.

                • expatchad

                  Nowhere near as disturbed as Carbonado (a defunct coal mining town in in Washington, the gay marriage state) but disturbed enough.

            • cpinva

              i’m guessing he won’t respect him in the morning, so yeah, pancakes are probably out of the question.

          • Carbon Man

            Well, maybe you’d like to fuck one Thomas Rogers.

            I remember the exact moment I realized it was time to leave the sex party and go home. It was 7:30 in the morning, and I was standing in front of a bunch of cots filled with piles of naked men. A man dressed in a leather jacket emblazoned with the words “human urinal” was next to me, a funnel strapped to his face. And as I stood there contemplating the circumstances that had led me to this place, a man wearing nothing but a harness and underwear staggered down the hallway and accidentally pressed up against me. “Oh my God!” he exclaimed to his friend, as his wet skin rubbed up against my arm. “Some guy must have pissed ALL OVER my shoulder!”

            I had spent the last six hours at the Black Party, a giant gay event that takes place every year at Roseland Ballroom in Manhattan. Every March, thousands of shirtless men cram into the large concert venue in midtown to dance to world-famous house DJs, do lots of drugs and, once 3 a.m. rolls around, have public sex in various parts of the building. For three decades, the party has been a raunchy high point of the gay calendar in New York, and a throwback to the most hedonistic aspects of pre-AIDS gay culture. (This year’s party will take place on Saturday, March 19.)

            I had come here to confirm several of my long-cherished beliefs about sex and gayness: that sex in all of its forms was awesome, that gay men’s permissive attitudes toward it were much saner than the straight community’s, and that events like this one were a healthy celebration of the most transgressive elements of gay life that had preceded me. But as the night progressed, my attitude went from excitement to discomfort to utter revulsion — and I began to wonder, did I even belong here?

            • Malaclypse

              You seem to think about this a lot. In a totally non-overcompensating way, of course.

              • Reilly

                It was all a sad, innocent misfortune. He/she meant to google “humans in the urals” but mistyped it “the human urinals.” Shock turned to titillation, titillation to obsession — a slow spiral down the drain.

              • DrDick

                He thinks about gay sex more than any openly gay man I have ever known. Can somebody please tell him where he can find a rent boy and just get it over with?

                • MAJeff

                  Why would you wish that on a rentboy? Maybe Ratzinger is available; he’ll have some extra time on his hands now.

                • The Dark Avenger

                  He thinks about gay sex more than any openly gay man watching a gay porno on the internet.

                • DrDick

                  Why would you wish that on a rentboy?

                  I actually wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but he really needs to get laid. That ain’t happening unless he pays (a lot) for it.

                • MAJeff

                  There’s always Dagchester.

            • wjts

              You are a veritable font of information about gay and lesbian orgies, I’ll give you that.

              • rea

                Although he seems completely unaware that straight people have orgies, too, at which they behave in much the same way, albeit with a bit more PIV . . .

                • The Dark Avenger

                  You think Jen-Bob has anything but a theoretical understanding of how PIV sex takes place?

                • DrDick

                  I am not sure JenBob even has personal familiarity with PIH.

            • herr doktor bimler

              Linkman’s Voice Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.

              Cut to Mr A.

              Mr A (JOHN) Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board… then you put the mouse skin on… then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.

              Linkman The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.

              Very poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.

              Mr A’s Voice Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you’re on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films… there’s a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.50 you climb up it and then… eventually, it strikes one… and you all run down.

            • Mr Sadpants


      • rea

        This is the pancake queen Jen/Bob again, right? And no one could be so persistantly obnoxious without being either (1) paid, or (2) suffering from obsessive–compulsive disorder.

        • sharculese

          If there’s someone out there who’s paying for Jenny’s unhinged rants about gay sex I’m pretty happy to separate them for their money.

          • BigHank53

            Somehow, I always knew there was a job, somewhere in the world, that would make giving blowjobs to strangers for $20 look reasonable and respectable.

            If he’s doing it for free….well, some kind of disorder. Obviously.

        • NonyNony

          You missed (3) – pathetically sad. So, so pathetically sad.

          I think Jenbob just needs a hug and someone to tell him/her that it’s all going to be okay.

      • expatchad

        You cannot feel degraded if you have no self-awareness.

    • efgoldman

      Today is shrove Tuesday. mrs efgoldman just got back from a pancake supper. Would anybody else like some?

      • expatchad

        We have plenty right now, thanks, as the vendor is here again.

        • expatchad

          Shall we tell him to shrove it?

  • I’m used to the particular brand of bullshit Cruz spews from hearing it for years from the Cuban half of my family.

  • Joe

    At Volokh Conspiracy, so far two contributors provided open letters addressed not to the subcommittee involved or the chairman AND subchairman but solely to Sen. Cruz. The slanted gun stance taken makes this pretty appropriate.

  • Joe

    Lest people be upset, don’t worry, he still thinks Paul is mostly an offensive hack, but now and again he says something sane and/or others are WORSE such as Cruz being one of three not voting for Kerry in part since apparently he is anti-military.

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