Subscribe via RSS Feed

Shakes Fist In Air, Screams “Caaaaaaastrooooooo”

[ 53 ] February 5, 2013 |

That Fidel Castro. He might be 130 years old and in terrible health. But his power to destroy America remain unlimited. Just ask New Jersey Congressman Albio Sires, who blames recent allegations against Senator Robert Menendez on the nefarious island nation of Cuba:

“I won’t even be surprised if somehow the Cuban government is involved in this to try to damage Bob Menendez because he’s been so steadfast against the Castro government. He’s been a critic all his political life,” Sires said in a phone interview. “I would not be surprised if they are behind some of this stuff, some of these allegations. The Dominican Republic has a lot of relationships with Cuba.”

Sires, who like Menendez (D-N.J). is Cuban-American, succeeded him in the House when Menendez was elevated to the Senate.

Menendez has denied anonymous allegations that he had trysts with prostitutes, some of them underage, at a Dominican Republic condo owned by wealthy eye doctor and campaign donor Salomon Melgen. But Menendez’s office has said the senator reimbursed Melgen $58,500 for two round trip flights on his private jet on January 4 of this year—more than two years after the trips, and without disclosing them.

The Dominican Republic does share a lot in common with Cuba. Both have long histories of exploitation by Spain and then the United States. Both were sugar colonies where slaves were sent from Africa to be worked to death. And Fidel Castro was very good friends with psychopathic Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo… Wait, what? No, that was the U.S. who supported that murderer for decades. Oh right. Well then, the DR and Cuba are basically one and the same because they are both island nations and speak Spanish and also some other things that I’m sure I’ll think of at some point. I guess the real question is how Puerto Rico is involved. A Cuban 5th column under the American flag! What will Castro think of next?!

Seriously, is there anything Cuban-Americans won’t blame on Castro?

Share with Sociable

Comments (53)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Malaclypse says:

    Castro was behind the Super Bowl power outage. He also cancelled Firefly.

  2. Sly says:

    Seriously, is there anything Cuban-Americans won’t blame on Castro?

    Rick Sanchez?

  3. DrDick says:

    Castro can never die, as he is Satan in human form. Ask any rightwinger.

  4. Loud Liberal says:

    Living im Miami since before most of you were born, it never ceases to amaze me how much Cuban Americans fail to understand how little I give a fuck about Cuba or Castro.

  5. BigHank53 says:

    Seriously, is there anything Cuban-Americans won’t blame on Castro?

    It’s been a winning strategy for half a century. Why change now?

  6. Major Kong says:

    “Castro you bearded fag! I’ll chase you through the streets of Havana in my fucking F-4!”

    Robert Duvall in The Great Santini

  7. Murc says:

    Huh.

    I’d honestly thought Castro had died.

    Dude’s hanging in there.

    You know, I think I’m gonna go play some Tropico.

  8. Crackity Jones says:

    Is Castro nearing death yet? I come from a Cuban family, grew up in Miami. I want to witness the shitshow firsthand. I wonder if it will rival the Elian stuff or if the people who still care are too old.

  9. Crackity Jones says:

    It still bugs me that JFK is so overrated. We don’t need soaring rhetoric. We need a Democrat with big brass balls, a legislative genius, an asshole liberal, not a nice guy. An LBJ minus the bombing of Southeast Asia.

    • sibusisodan says:

      An LBJ minus the bombing of Southeast Asia.

      Woah. Are you obliquely criticising LBJ’s foreign policy? I thought that never happened on LGM, and that everyone here viewed him through uncritical rose-tinted glasses.

      Mind: blown.

      • Cody says:

        I’m confident he is just adhering to LGM policy of adding a foreign policy disclaimer to all LBJ postings.

        It’s in that rotating set of quotes at the top of the page. You just have to keep looking at it for a while*.

        *I, as an anonymous internet person, promise this statement to be true.

        • Crackity Jones says:

          Jesus H Tittyfucking Christ, all I’m saying is I want another Democrat with LBJ’s legislative talent and contrasting that with the sort of useless soaring JFK rhetoric. It’s not an original thought, I just wonder if a Democrat who can bend Congress to his will is even possible anymore. I’m not looking to write a fucking apologia of the Johnson Administration or Scott’s LBJ posts.

          • Hogan says:

            sibusosidan or however you spell that was referring to an earlier discussion about how no one on this site ever criticizes the Vietnam war at excruciating length, and therefore we’re all a bunch of partisan hacks. Or something. Sounds like you missed it, and how lucky you are.

  10. Crackity Jones says:

    I can’t reply directly on my phone to comment 32 but yes. I dunno, commenters are individuals, not a hive mind. I’m not saying I want another LBJ, because there’s a lot of exceptions and qualifications I have to make to not endorse some pretty awful things. All I was trying to say was give me an asshole legislative genius over a charming, attractive man who just gave good speeches.

  11. desertrat says:

    Drudge is a Cuban fifth columnist? Wow! That explains a LOT.

  12. Mike Schilling says:

    Oh right. Well then, the DR and Cuba are basically one and the same because they are both island nations and speak Spanish and also some other things that I’m sure I’ll think of at some point.

    Baseball.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.