Four Hours Of Witless Sexism and Racism Are One Thing, But Now We’ve Gone Too Far

Shorter Roger L. Simon: “Everything changed for me on September 11. I used to consider myself a Democrat, but thanks to 9/11, I’m outraged that Ronald Reagan appeared at the 1981 Oscars.* Why not just send us to the gulag?”

Roy has more examples, of course.

[Since someone always seems to ask about it in comments, the reference explained.]

*Or Laura Bush at the 2002 Oscars. I am retroactively OUTRAGED!

50 comments on this post.
  1. max:

    Why not just send us to the gulag?

    Is it just the February slog or something? People, and also wingnuts, seem to be short of material.

    ['It even seems like Mitt Romney is pretty sure the whole thing was just a bad dream and come 2017 he's going to be president, somehow.']

  2. joe from Lowell:

    Michelle Obama scares the living crap out of these people.

  3. Incontinentia Buttocks:

    Incidentally, who were the people around the First Lady, and what were they wearing? Had they invited the Sea Org to the White House Oscar party?

  4. c u n d gulag:

    Well, spending their “2-minute hate” on her husband every day gets pretty boring after awhile.

    And with her, they get two “hates” for the price of one: blacks AND women!

  5. Hogan:

    With that “comes out of the closet” headline, I was expecting Simon to go in a very different direction.

  6. TG Chicago:

    But it’s clearly wrong for a member of the First Family, via satellite from the White House, to interject themselves into a major television event:

    Ronald Reagan doing the coin-flip for the 1985 Super Bowl

  7. Shakezula:

    Dear God, the endless sense of victimization. I’ve known people with paranoia, and the average conservative leaves them standing when it comes to misinterpreting events to see a hidden threat.

  8. Shakezula:

    Secret hidden message that Hollywood is full of poofs and pervs, hur hur hur.

  9. rea:

    Not to mention:

    President Taft throws out first pitch

  10. KadeKo:

    This is really for the last thread (Begging for James Franco), but I like to quote Roger Ebert:

    Poop isn’t funny. Only poop jokes are funny.

    (Not all poop jokes are funny, but in eight words it describes the difference between something offensive–or approaching offensive, or merely risque–and the bare minimum to make that into possible humor.)

  11. Charlie Sweatpants:

    Clicked over to Simon’s link for shits and grins, turns out it’s paginated. Must be though times at PJ Media if they need two pageviews from a 432 word post. Also, your argument is invalid:

    “Now hold on… there’s an idea. Harry Reid hosting the Academy Awards. Talk about vampires.”

  12. Warren Terra:

    Not a television event.

  13. Cody:

    Heh. The Right should start their own awards!!

    Then they can take a second and look at what they actually produce. It will make for great TV.

  14. Lev @

    Nothing worse than a 9/11 Republican. Something about the “I was awakened from the ignorance liberals had instilled in me” shtick, since their narrative includes embracing an exceptionally ignorant view of Islam.

  15. sharculese:

    The idea of an alternative wingnut Oscar night excites me greatly, but only if they don’t stop at film. Fake wingnut Tony’s for David Mamet, fake wingnut ESPYs for Tim Tebow, etc., etc.

  16. TribalistMeathead:

    Oh, btw, I just learned this happened:


  17. sharculese:

    How did that seem like a good idea to anyone?

  18. TribalistMeathead:

    Oddly enough, I can see how it would start as a joke about a 9-year-old being a holy terror on set and then go completely off the rails.

    Not that I’m excusing it.

  19. Hogan:

    It doesn’t to the CEO.

  20. Uncle Kvetch:

    Good for him. That tweet was repugnant.

  21. Dave:

    Oh yeah, the line of reasoning is quite clear, and so is the point where they step off the cliff and actually start typing.

  22. sharculese:

    I assumed that it was a riff on the cultural obsession with finding fault in successful young actresses, and yeah, I can see how it was intended to be funny, but that execution is dreadful, in terms of both comedy and taste.

    Sometimes you just have to concede that you have the germ of a good joke but no idea how to carry it over the finish line.

  23. Dave:

    I see a captain in the USMC, at least a couple of USN officers, probably a USAF officer… I don’t want to come over all ‘support the troops’, but really, Scientology, that’s low…

  24. Rhino:

    Really? The league missed a golden opportunity there, don’t you think?

  25. TribalistMeathead:

    I can think of several ways to carry that joke across the finish line. None involve calling a 9-year-old girl a cunt.

  26. rea:

    1910–no TV.

  27. gmack:

    No, no, you’re going about it wrong. How about this: as a left wing liberal, I am deeply, deeply frightened, angered, and offended at the prospect of alternative right-wing ceremonies. Once the public is exposed to the impressive aesthetic and intellectual gifts of contemporary conservatives, they will likely realize the emptiness and propagandistic nature of mainstream media. Moreover, such a show would be deeply offensive to my political positions and sensibilities; in fact, I can think of nothing that would anger me more than to see, for instance, Tim Tebow win the right-wing MVP award, or to see movie awards shows dominated by Mel Gibson, Clint Eastwood talking to a chair, and the corpse of Charlton Heston. So please, fellow leftists, I consider it our number one priority to denounce this idea and see to it that it never, ever happens.

  28. matttbastard:

    No TV in 1910? Pssh. Typical Taftmaster — any old excuse to defend your man.

  29. Shakezula:

    Hear, hear! I too find this idea horrific and sickening. By the way, I’m female, African-American and incredibly liberal.

    If something like this occurred, I might become so upset I would be rendered sterile and unable to give birth to the next African-American PotUS.

  30. matttbastard:

    Context here — not that it excuses the egregious lapse in judgment on the part of whoever was manning the 140 for The Onion last night. But tweet didn’t just come out of nowhere.

  31. matttbastard:

    A proper apology as well — no sorry-if-you-were-offended qualification. Whoda thunk?

  32. gmack:


  33. Shakezula:

    Wow. I didn’t know that word was funny. Ever.

  34. Shakezula:

    I must have my Twitstream set up all wrong. I never see anything this mind-numbingly stupid and irritating, and I have a devout libertarian in the mix.

  35. laura:

    I used to love hating on Roger L Simon. It was my favourite activity. Now I haven’t got the heart for it. As he gets more and more senile all I can picture is Glenn and Helen plotting how to get him quietly out the door. I hope the poor old codger has some savings.

  36. sharculese:

    Whatever Simon’s other qualities might be, he is an absolute master of grift. You probably don’t have to worry about his finances.

  37. Incontinentia Buttocks:

    It was the sheer scale of aiguillettes that threw me. To be honest, I was more reminded of this than of Elron’s minions. Have USMC and USN dress uniforms always been that gaudy?

  38. Dave:

    Wearing an aiguillette has represented, in most Western militaries for most of the last century, appointment as a aide-de-camp to senior staff, unsurprising at the White House. But yes, those are the dressiest of dress uniforms… OTOH, count the medals.

  39. Alan in SF:

    Thanks, Scott, for a refreshing shot of Berube. The Internet misses him.

  40. swearyanthony:

    The onion often plays out on edge of taste, not shocking they’d go way, way too far sometimes, particularly when they are live tweeting. Credit to them for a quick and genuine apology. (How many other comedians would have instead doubled down?)

    On the other hand, their Daniel Day Lewis op-ed was pretty great:,31426/

  41. Alan in SF:

    If Kelsey Grammer and Victoria Jackson were to be the hosts of such a show, I would be so outraged I would probably throw a copy of The Communist Manifesto at my television.

  42. sharculese:

    Kelsey Grammer is capable of putting his right-wing views aside for the sake of comedy.

    I would feel far more cowed, threatened, and outraged if they picked Stephen Baldwin.

  43. Bill Murray:

    freaking T-bots ruining our and stuff

  44. joe from Lowell:

    Lol, those Secret Service guys look miserable.

    My cat walked around with that same expression when he had to wear the no-scratch-cone.

  45. witless chum:

    It’s not even close to the worst taste ever shown in an Onion joke, (“U.S. Army withdraws from Vietnamese Peasant Girl,” from Our Dumb Century, for instance seems way, way darker). I guess cause this is about an actual person?

    I thought it was funny and I wouldn’t have apologized, but I’m not going to be asked to run a successful humor magazine by anyone, ever.

  46. Jeremy:

    Those are dinner dress uniforms. They’re pretty much used only for events where the civilian equivalent would be “black tie.” They also have a “white tie” variant. I think they’re only required to be owned by O-4 and above, as well as, I’m guessing, those with assigned duty at places like the White House.

  47. Breadbaker:

    Not to mention the contrast between Clinton and Obama’s handling of bin-Laden to Bush using “Bin-Laden determined to attack within US” as a rag to clean his bike.

  48. Dave:

    If you can’t tell the difference between a darkly satirical dig at a terrible but poorly-acknowledged real situation, and an unprovoked personal insult directed at a 9-yr-old child… Well, you probably have a great future on the internet, unfortunately.

  49. witless chum:

    I guess I figure that the joke about Wallis is also kinda satirical, at least in poking fun at everyone who was fawning over how cute she was.

  50. Julia Grey:

    I guess cause this is about an actual person?

    Well, yes. And about a CHILD.

    You gotta be careful, there, hoss. Your personal density might one day create an event horizon.

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