This is Just All Some Horrible Nightmare I Just Want to Wake Up and Stop Screaming
Oregon coach Chip Kelly will be the new coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, league sources told ESPN.
Kelly re-emerged as a candidate recently and an agreement was just reached Wednesday.
The Eagles had interviewed Kelly early in its search for a replacement for longtime coach Andy Reid, talking to the coach in Arizona after the Ducks’ 35-17 Fiesta Bowl victory over Kansas State.
But sources had told ESPN after the meeting that Kelly had decided to stay at Oregon. The school never made an official announcement regarding Kelly’s employment with the team, however.
Jesus. Does this mean I have to cheer for the fucking Eagles?
CJColucci:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
All we need now is for Brian Kelly to take a pro job, setting up a battle of the Kellysif the schedulers cooperate.
CJColucci:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
I should add that although I have no real rooting interest as between the final four NFL teams, I’m rooting for the 49ers and the Ravens to set up the biggest brother clash since Cain and Abel.
Eagles fans:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
mmmmmm . . . fresh meat.
MacGyver:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Nick Saban thinks this was dick move.
Murc:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:36 pm
Good lord.
Did they take his family hostage? Were they going to send him body parts until he agreed to this?
Because I have trouble thinking of another reason.
J.W. Hamner:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:38 pm
I like this tweet. Though apparently the kid is not bitter.
I don’t think I can recall being this blindsided by a coaching announcement… good job by Kelly and the Eagles in being secret squirrel.
Joshua:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
When Nick Saban claimed he wasn’t going to Alabama, everyone knew he was lying. Not here.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
No. You cheer for the team, not the coach.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
A possible stimulus..ESPN notes “There has been talk of NCAA sanctions on the horizon at Oregon…”
They also say the contract might be 5 years at $6M each.
Nicholas Beaudrot:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
At least it means you get to root against the Redskins twice a year.
That said, how successful is the median college-to-pro head coach? Not pro-to-college-to-pro like Pete Carroll; I’m talking Steve Spurrier, Dennis Erickson, June Jones, and if I want to twist the knife, basketball coaches like Rick Pitino, John Calipari, etc… In three years he might be back in the PAC-12 coaching the Cougs.
Nicholas Beaudrot:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
I totally left this on my list of great college coach -> mediocre pro coach transitions.
FridayNext:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
There was lots of clothes rending and tears in Florida when Urban Meyer took the Ohio job. I’ll tell you what I told them.
These coaches are not your friends or part of your family. They have no emotional or spiritual stake in your school, community, student body, or educational attainments of anyone on your campus they are not paid to care about. They are not moral or spiritual leaders. They are professionals hired and paid handsomely to do one thing: win football games. They will go somewhere else when they think it is in their best interests to do so. They may tell you they love your school, community, students, team, etc etc when they are paid to do so, and they may even believe it in that moment. But they will say it just as strongly, and believe it just as strongly, when they say it again in their new position. As long as they do their best to win and you pay them what they were promised, you owe them nothing and they owe you nothing.
But, maybe not. I don’t know Kelley that well. Maybe YOUR coach was different. I am sure he was.
Get on with your lives and hire a new professional to do the vacant job. I guarantee Kelly has already moved on and is replacing all his Duck clothing for Eagle clothing. (But of course that could be a contractual obligation since he has all new endorsement deals to make and grow rich from and the Eagles and NFL will likely make him wear UnderArmour instead of Nike.)
And one correction. They are not the “fucking” Eagles, they are the sucking Eagles. There is a difference.
NonyNony:
January 16th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Meh. How is that any better/worse than cheering for a team because you like some of the players? Or because you like the logo? Or, possibly the least rational reason to cheer for a team at all (but the most widely held) because you happen to live in the same city/state that the team happens to play in?
Hell most of the Browns fans that I know are basically cheering for the memory of a team that existed decades ago and is completely disconnected from the team that exists now. How is that any better/worse than cheering for a team because you think it has a good coach?
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
One of us!
One of us!
One of us!
One of us!
Ron E.:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
Unless you 1) live in Pennsylvania or 2) are a member of Kelly’s family, then no.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
Or South Jersey or Delaware. I’m sure Farley is a Bungels fan. Isn’t that punishment enough?
Domino:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Can he at least get a hot tub in his office to view tape like he had at Oregon?
Also, I do wonder if he’s nervous about the looming NCAA sanctions.
Domino:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:12 pm
I heard that that while Meyer did want to spend more time with his family, a main reason he left was that he missed out on some key recruits for his spread system and didn’t want to deal w/ the couple of years of mediocrity that would ensue. Any of that sound true?
Ronnie P:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Good people pick a team and stick with it. Once you move away from that, you get people rooting for teams just because they are good. And these people lack character.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:19 pm
To clarify. Farley is a well know Seahawks fan in his heart of hearts, but his local team is the Bengals. He may not be a fan, but he lives amongst them and must at times pretend to suffer.
Britlaw:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:19 pm
In the vernacular, I believe this is called “pulling a Carroll.”
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
I dunno. As an Eagles fan, I wish Andy Reid well in both his coaching and Skittles commercials.
JoyfulA:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
When you come to the Eagles home games, remember not to wear your Santa suit.
NonyNony:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Really? I should pick a team and “stick with it” even if it’s 20 years later and the team I started following bears absolutely no resemblance to the team that exists now except the trademark?
Do sports fans still believe in that kind of mindless fealty to a corporation’s brand name? I know that when I was a teenager that was the case, but it was less obvious that a team was a corporate brand back then than it is today.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Let me modify my comment a bit, then. It isn’t “wrong” to cheer for particular team because you like its coach. Sports fandom really isn’t rational anyway, so if one finds a particular coach especially remarkable, then I suppose one could transfer one’s support for that coach to whatever team that coach works for.
I tend to think of sports teams as institutions with histories, connections to the community (however strong or weak those may be), etc. that go beyond the roster of personnel of the team at any particular moment. So I may continue to support a team because of how I perceive my relationship to that institution, e.g., I support my undergraduate alma mater‘s teams because, among other things, I attended the institution and am connected to it in a way that I am not to other colleges & universities.
Others may determine their fandom differently. But Rob doesn’t have to support the Eagles just because Kelly will now coach there.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
You can wish Reid well. It doesn’t mean you’ll be a fan of the team he ends up coaching for, if he’s hired again.
J.W. Hamner:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
I would go a step further and say the only acceptable way to choose a sports team is to be indoctrinated by your parents/relatives. Children who are allowed to choose a team based on logos or players are future scofflaws.
Western Dave:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Get a grip, it’s not like rooting for Dallas or Washington. And you get to root against those two idiocracies twice a year.
NonyNony:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Ah. So it’s basically a form of religion then. :)
Robert Farley:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Concur.
GeoX:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Good lord–as an Eagles fan, I’ll freely admit that many of my compatriots are assholes, but it is nonetheless quite tiresome the way people keep trotting out this trivial incident that happened forty-five years ago as though it actually means something.
Robert Farley:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
I’m actually a Raiders fan of long standing. But that hasn’t really been working out for me for several decades now.
Dan Mulligan:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Not to be too personal but I have been a Cal fan for 50 + years. By what right do you even complain?
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Hmm, now that I think about it, ol’ Chip does look like the kind of guy that enjoys a cheesesteak. Or four.
Too bad that we in Corvallis will have to come up with somebody new to hate. I’m sure we’ll manage.
Richard:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:53 pm
I’m with you. Started Cal in ’65 (after one year at UCLA) and have seen my hopes smashed year after year after year.
drkrick:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:55 pm
He’s coaching the Kansas City Chiefs next year. They announced it a week ago.
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:57 pm
Right there with you — I have lived in Corvallis my whole life and watched the Beavers pretty much suck the entire time. Fun.
drkrick:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:57 pm
And besides, he deserved it – he was scrawny and the costume was crap.
mpowell:
January 16th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Did you also know he had a heart attack more than once? There was plenty of reason for Meyer to take a year off.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Missed that one, thanks.
wengler:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Sports is about suffering and hatred. If you are allowed to choose your own teams willy nilly you are avoiding the suffering aspect.
Thus making you worse than Hitler.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
All that somebody new has to do is become the head coach at Oregon.
witless chum:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:18 pm
I do and it’s obvious that I really mean it because I’m a Lions fan. I just think it’s more fun to root for the team by dad rooted for over other considerations like not run by morons or plays football outside like the random meaningless universe intended.
Other than the Lions, I root for the Bills for aethestic reasons and other than that whoever has the most former Michigan State players.
Mark D'ski:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
it was in W.Pa., of course, this is America, so you can “shop” for your religion (and pro football team). My father told me that i should root for the local team. Unfortunately, i now live in Phoenix. So I root for the Steelers first, then the cardinals.
Trollhattan:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
You have to cheer the fucking Eagles only when they’re playing the Cowboys or the Steelers. Or you unaccountably move to Philly.
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Yes, precisely.
Zombie Jesus himself could appear in town and say “Imma do the whole second coming thing, but first I’m gonna coach the Ducks for a few seasons” and we’d suddenly have far fewer Christians.
sparks:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:25 pm
IIRC, he spent it posting comments to Sadly, No!
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:26 pm
This is a terrible hire. It makes the Eagles look desperate. The front office has lost its collective minds.
Chip the Flip plays in a conference known for wide open offenses and weak defenses. Even in such a conference, the O defenses were suspect. How do NFL teams win with bad defenses? Answer: they dont.
I respect what Chip accomplished at O. He was not a great recruiter. Not many 5 stars wnat to go to a school where an unbrella is more necessary than a backpack.
The HUNH offenses are a gimmick. Some are damn good – see O and TAM – but this years BCS Championship was played between two “power” teams, granted one team was much more powerful than the other. Roll Tide!
This is an waful hire. At least Bama wont have to play O in the championship this coming year.
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Originality? Not your best suit.
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
The selection of one’s favorite team is far too important an issue to be left up to adolescents. Team fervor must be instilled into the youths at a young age. In utero, if possible.
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
No self-respecting Oregonian would carry an umbrella — that’s what hoods are for. Hell, you’d lose the use of your umbrella hand for half the year!
Dave S.:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
Aesthetic reasons? I’m a Bills fan but I’d really like to hear those.
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Meyer left because he lost to Saban in the SCECG in 09 and lost his Juicebax Jeebus qb St Timmy. He saw the future and he ran.
Meyer has to be one fo the worst talent evaluators in CFB history. Timmy graduates and Cam Newton wants to be the qb. Meyer says nope and the rest is war eagle history.
The Pale Scot:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:40 pm
“Does this mean I have to cheer for the fucking Eagles?”
God no, there lies the path to madness my friend.
Bitter Scribe:
January 16th, 2013 at 2:47 pm
There’s also a certain masochism involved, for fans of some teams. *koffCubskoff*
Eric:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:03 pm
What? Newton left a year before Tebow’s final year.
greylocks:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
I confidently predict the same results we usually see when a college head coach goes straight to an NFL head coaching job without first putting in time as an OC or DC.
See also Steve Spurrier.
Lacking Moral Fiber aka Useless Muthfucka frmly Nemesis:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Ive been schooled!
greylocks:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:08 pm
With luck, we’ll have a full NHL season next year and I won’t have time to root for any of these fkrs.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
It may or may not turn out to be a good hire. Carroll and Harbaugh both coached in that wide open offense-bad defense league and have done well in the NFL. And NFL teams don’t have to recruit, which may be a reason he left Oregon.
There is no need to hire Kelly to implement his offense. Part of it has been installed in New England and Washington. Any NFL coach told to implement it probably could. I suspect Kelly was hired because he showed a capacity for constructing a functional offense (and defense) using existing personnel. Plus he seems to have energy. Retread NFL coaches tend not to have energy (see Turner, Norv).
The defense will be as good as his defensive coordinator. I wouldn’t be surprised, if he’s available, to see Lovey Smith get hired. Jim Johnson is sadly, like Franco, still dead.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Jimmy Johnson.
Western Dave:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
And he was drunk and behaving boorishly!
LosGatosCA:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:17 pm
NCAA sanctions
Eric:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:17 pm
To be clear, Newton left (was kicked out) at Florida before Tebow’s final year there. There was no way that Newton was taking over for Tebow in 2009.
Cody:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Newton also had the small problem with stealing things that didn’t belong to him…
tonycpsu:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:20 pm
I love you guys, but I also love my Eagles, so I’m just going to leave this here.
(I’ll probably be the one crying when Bill O’Brien leaves to coach the Giants or something.)
mpowell:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:24 pm
Dude, just be quiet. Your rambling Alabama boosterism is pathetic. Neither recruiting nor Alabama’s power game are remotely related to Chip Kelly’s qualifications to coach at the NFL level.
mpowell:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
Like Harbaugh I presume? Most new NFL coach hires do not turn out to be elite NFL coaches. Former college coaches are no better or worse a place to look.
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Picking who will be a good NFL coach is a total crapshoot. It’s mostly a matter of getting lucky, with only two things you have to avoid:
1. Avoid anyone who simply doesn’t have the qualifications yet, like Jim Zorn.
2. Avoid anyone who has proven demonstrably that they can not do the job, like Jim Zorn.
Fighting Words:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:41 pm
I have relatives in Corvallis, OR. Nice place.
Fighting Words:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:44 pm
I have been a Cal fan for almost 20 years. This team will find ways to lose that you never thought possible.
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
I will have an expressed preference for Chiefs victories in games not played against the Eagles, as I did for Dick Vermeil and the Rams (and later, the Chiefs).
I did not have the same warm feelings toward Rich Kotite when he went to the Jets. My feelings were more astonishment that anyone would hire him.
CJColucci:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:48 pm
In addition to having a team to follow, I think most fans also need a team to hate, and I’m having trouble with that lately. Back in the days of Brandt, Landry, and Staubach, I hated the Cowboys (in those days everyone hated either the Cowboys or the Raiders regardless of which team they were for, and which you hated said a lot about you), but when they began to suck, they were too pathetic to hate, and when they became good enough to hate again, it was a whole new operation; Jimmy Johnson’s hair was good for a laugh, but I couldn’t hate them the way I used to. Traditional rivals don’t work for me because, though I want my team to beat them, I don’t find myself rooting against them if they’re in the playoffs and it’s just not my team’s year.
I’ll take suggestions for a team to hate.
Scott Lemieux:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
I’d have to say that if we’ve learned anything in the past 3 years, it’s that PAC-12 coaches have no chance of succeeding in the NFL.
witless chum:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
The playing outdoors, being in a smallish city adjoining a Great Lake, lots of snow, the unis aren’t bad, fans seemed to take losing four Super Bowls better than most would, that’s all. The Bills are a logical second team. Plus, it was fun to root for Doug Flutie when I was in college.
Scott Lemieux:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
Anybody who prefers the weather in Alabama to the weather in Oregon belongs in a straightjacket.
JoyfulA:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
All the fans at Eagles games are drunk and behaving boorishly.
(I am an Eagles fan born and bred. I know some of those rowdy rich suburbanite season ticketholders who give the city a bad name, which is why I’d never personally attend a game.)
witless chum:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
How about the one whose name you can’t say on Indian reservations without getting punched?
witless chum:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Steve Mariucci, Bill Walsh. You can play this game pretty well with just Niners coaches.
Mudge:
January 16th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
With weather being, as well, a euphemism for politics, I presume.
Bloix:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Yes. Nick Hornby explains this very well in Fever Pitch.
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:03 pm
how successful is the median
college-to-pro head coach?Western Dave:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Excellent start.
Njorl:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:15 pm
I’ve enjoyed hating the Steelers.
You’ve got Big Ben, and a history of playing dirty and yet still getting all the calls. Plus, they’re boring.
Burnspbesq:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:21 pm
If you were the sort of deranged sociopath that is capable of being an Iggles fan, you’d be blogging at Free Republic, not LGM.
NonyNony:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:28 pm
Ah but I chose to be an Indians fan in 1988 (despite living nowhere near Cleveland at the time, though strangely I moved there later). And I haven’t changed that decision in going on 25 years. So suffering and self-hatred are apparently something I was willing to choose of my own free will, rather than having it imposed on me.
Murc:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:30 pm
Anything stopping you from hating on the Patriots?
Nicholas Beaudrot:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:31 pm
Fair enough. But the idea that a great college coach is a surefire bet to be a good pro coach, let alone a great one, is … questionable.
JazzBumpa:
January 16th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
They’ve been channeling the Detroit Lions?
No wonder you haz a sad.
JzB
Erik Loomis:
January 16th, 2013 at 5:36 pm
I feel Oregon can beat Washington another 9 straight years with or without Chip Kelly.
Richard Hershberger:
January 16th, 2013 at 5:48 pm
I grew up in southern California rooting for the Dodgers. I stuck with them years after I had moved three thousand miles away. The Rupert Murdoch years finally drove me away. I believe in sticking with your team, but there are limits. That’s when I switched to the Phillies, where I was living at the time. In my defense, that was when the Phillies still sucked. I call it the Rico Brogna era.
Walt:
January 16th, 2013 at 5:48 pm
The Team of Black Quaterblacks, the team whose very existence got Rush Limbaugh fired as a football analyst? Not likely.
Bill Murray:
January 16th, 2013 at 6:04 pm
bill walsh was an assistant coach (and I would say equivalent to an OC today) for the Bengals before he became a college coach, so does not fit the category
Bill Murray:
January 16th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Jerry Jones still makes the Cowboys hateable
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 6:08 pm
Agreed!
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Yep. Though today is just plain dreary (warning — blogwhoring to a picture I took on my lunch hour).
Oregon Beer Snob:
January 16th, 2013 at 6:30 pm
The politics of a large swath of Oregon probably isn’t all that different than Alabama. This “liberal” state is really a liberal valley/coast where most of the population lives, surrounded by a bunch of conservatives and ag/timber/mining/etc. in the vast (land area) of the rest of the state.
Colin:
January 16th, 2013 at 7:12 pm
And Loomis lets you blog here?
Erik Loomis:
January 16th, 2013 at 7:40 pm
I’ve actually felt too sorry for him over the last several years to say anything. Also, he barely cares about the NFL.
greylocks:
January 16th, 2013 at 8:38 pm
He also spent a year (I believe) with the Chargers.
JustRuss:
January 16th, 2013 at 8:54 pm
I’d like Kelly a lot more if he’d had the decency to lose at least one Civil War. Is that really too much to ask?
JustRuss:
January 16th, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Also too, who the hell wears a visor in Oregon? After Kelly leaves, nobody. So there’s that.
James E. Powell:
January 16th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Browns – ahem – Browns
James E. Powell:
January 16th, 2013 at 9:52 pm
As long as they don’t draft QBs from USC, they do fine.
James E. Powell:
January 16th, 2013 at 9:54 pm
And I think Ali would still take Wepner.
Big Al:
January 16th, 2013 at 10:49 pm
“Kotite is a puppet”
Best psycho bedsheet spray paint stadium sign evah!
Eagles fans are hardcore and occasionally erudite.
elm:
January 16th, 2013 at 11:24 pm
I would say geographic proximity is fine, too. If the local team is on the television all the time, it’s fine to root for them even if your parents didn’t.
elm:
January 16th, 2013 at 11:27 pm
Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Loomis is still the newbie, after all.
Linnaeus:
January 16th, 2013 at 11:39 pm
I dug it for the three years I lived there.
Pestilence:
January 17th, 2013 at 12:29 am
Altho Jets fans were completely unsurprised
Six:
January 17th, 2013 at 2:02 am
plus they win so there is actually a reason to hate
Walt:
January 17th, 2013 at 2:10 am
Not only should you become an Eagles fan, you’re already most of the way there. You already hate the Redskins, and their racist team name, right? You hate the Cowboys, their fans, and their “We’re the Yankees of football!” attitude. You hate the Giants and Eli Manning and his frat-boy face. That’s 90% of being an Eagles fan right there. The best part: you don’t even have to stop hating the Eagles. Eagles fans hate the Eagles most of all.
rea:
January 17th, 2013 at 7:30 am
If you are going to steal, it’s always better to steal something that doesn’t belong to you. Otherwise, it’s kinda pointless . . .