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Things I Would Pay Money to Watch

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I would pay money to watch former Colorado congressman, anti-immigrant racist, and overall jerk Tom Tancredo smoke marijuana. And at least someone is going to have that chance.

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  • DocAmazing

    Only if you filled the bong with high-octane gasoline first.

  • Malacylpse

    I’d pay money for someone to sell him oregano.

  • commie atheist
  • Jim Lynch

    I’m such a vindictive asshole where clowns like Tancredo are concerned that I [almost] hoped he had contracted a cancer whose symptoms were alleviated by smoking grass.

  • MAJeff

    First timer? He’ll sit there and say, “Shouldn’t something be happening?”

    • Uncle Ebeneezer

      +420

    • speak truth’s mom’s pancake fumes

      Not if there’s enough angel dust sprinkled on it he won’t. Which, if karma is real, there will be.

  • howard

    just a couple of hours ago i was reading this in james wolcott’s blog:

    In Larry L. King: A Writer’s Life in Letters, or, Reflections in a Bloodshot Eye (TCU Press), a funny, slambang excursion through a literary and magazine publishing world that is no more, we get a full, gonzo account of William Styron’s flipout at Harvard after too many drinks and an unwise inhalation of “Mexican boo smoke,” which found the author racing out into the freezing cold, seized with religious rapture (“like a Baptist fanatic”), claiming he could “see the other shore” and was “crossing over to the other side.”

    we can but hope that tancredo will have the same reaction!

    • My condolences to the folks on ‘the other side.”

  • Jim Lynch

    With all due respect to Styron, fuck him if he put his behavior on that occasion down to smoking weed.

    • howard

      as a serious matter, sure: styron suffered from depression and alcoholism.

      but that said, i wouldn’t be shocked if in a particular situation look that that someone smoking strong reefer with little experience on top of those two problems could have an atypical reaction.

      but it’s exactly the reaction i want tancredo to have!

      • The Dark Avenger

        Well, it’s also noteworthy that he had ‘too many drinks’, and that mixing alcohol and weed, while not as potentially lethal as, say, cocaine and alcohol is probably not a good idea.

        A friend of mine once quoted Norman Mailer about all the holes in his brain that he had after using grass heavily, and my response was that the grass allowed him to find the holes that were already there in the first place.

        • howard

          I believe it was armies of the night, and i believe he references the swiss-cheese twxture of his mind thanks to reefer, and iirc further, it was in a context of extracting promises from his kids not to smoke pot until age 21!

          • S_noe

            I think your self-doubt on the details can be attributed to all that weed. :)
            But, to the best of my recollection, you’ve got the facts right.

  • HP

    I dunno. I’ve known plenty of uptight, small-minded, conservative assholes who get high. AFAICT, weed just helps them achieve transcendent levels of smugness and entitlement.

    It’s a short step from “Once I turn eighteen, I’m gonna get my own place and it’s going to have a kickass stereo and we’ll party we’ll party whenever we want to, and no parents are gonna tell me what to do!” to “Man, we totally ought to set up, like, our own country in Idaho or on a cruise ship or something, and we’ll be able to do whatever we want and we won’t have to pay any taxes or anything! It’ll be soooooooo sweet.”

    (Personally, I’m in the “We should start our own bar!” camp, but then, I’ve never claimed in public that the ideal political system should be modeled on the ideal drinking establishment.)

    • Jim Lynch

      As with Styron, HP, I doubt the grass has anything to do with the entitled smugness of the friends you cite.

      • Uncle Ebeneezer

        I’m glad I wasn’t really into politics when I was in college. Libertarians would have totally ruined the fun of late night, stoner debates.

  • Uncle Ebeneezer

    The only question remaining in my dream scenario is which Tancredo would be, the worker or the passerby?:

    “We’re talking about loss of work and collisions, work-related industrial injuries. Somebody comes to work stoned, and they are working some heavy equipment or up on a high-rise — a window washer that’s stoned — not only could he [or she] injure himself, but some of his or her negligence could cause someone else to be injured.”

  • Linnaeus

    Tancredo was gonna ban immigrants, but he got high…

    • DocAmazing

      Now he’s in a Spanish-named state, and I know why…

  • Dano

    He may be a crazy racist whackadoodle, but he’s our crazy racist whackadoodle.

    Best,

    D

  • This was easily my favorite headline of the day, but forget Tancredo, he’s a has been anyway. We need to get weed legalized in Minnesota so we can see what Michele Bachmann is like stoned. I would pay good money for video of that.

    • The Dark Avenger

      Or at least an audio recording.

    • LosGatosCA

      A video of a 3 way with hubby and Rasputin, her debate coach.

    • Pestilence

      Have you seen her eyes? How can you think she’s not perpetually loaded on something?

  • Stiv

    I wanna see him get gay married.

    • LosGatosCA

      And then have it annulled because he was on meth at the time

  • The Dark Avenger

    Who put the Benzadrine
    in Tom Tancredo’s Ovaltine
    Sure was a shame, don’t know who’s to blame
    Cause the old fogy didn’t even get his name
    Where did he get that stuff?
    Now he just can’t get enough
    It might have been the man who wasn’t there
    Now Jack, that guy’s a square
    He never ever wants to go to sleep
    Hhe says that everything is solid all reet
    Now Tom Tancredo don’t know what it’s all about
    Cause he went and threw the old man out. Clout!
    Who put the Benzedrine, in Tom Tancredo’s Ovaltine?
    Now he wants to swing, the Highland Fling
    He says that Benzedrine’s the thing that makes him spring.

    Link

  • Alas, it’s not happening.

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