The World’s Most Dangerous Perfesser!

January 26th, 2013 by Scott Lemieux

As you may have noticed, some underlings of the nation’s preeminent racist concentration camp apologist attempted to send her flying monkeys against me for daring to call a highly partisan judge who believes that the Constitution enacted Ms. Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged a “neoconfederate hack.” Alas, even the most permanently aggrieved winger must have trouble generating outrage over use of the word “hack,” and the typical Twitchy reader presumably considers “neoconfederate” a compliment (or an insult only because of the “neo.”) So the whole the whole attempt to get another head on a stick was a big fizzle.

This isn’t to say, however, that some comedy gold did not result! Meet a young Canadian reactionary, bidding fair to be the poor man’s Adam Yoshida, or perhaps the homeless man’s Ezra Levant, who tried to catch Ms. Malkin’s eye with some deep research:

@TwitchyTeam Look at @LemieuxLGM’s profile. “Perfesser” or professor? #SpellingMistake? #TheStateofAcademia pic.twitter.com/hG6pBQWT

An entertaining if somewhat broad parody of the typical Twitchy reader, thinks I. But further consultation of the gentleman’s twitter feed reveals the hilarious truth: he believes that me calling myself “perfesser” in my one line twitter profile indicates that I am unaware of the proper spelling of “professor.” (They’re coming for you next, Edroso!) And WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT THE STATE OF MODERN ACADEMIA, I ask you? Unless this guy’s mother also helped create the Lewinsky scandal I don’t think he can quite cut it at the National Review, but he probably has an internship waiting for him at Col. Mustard’s place.

In conclusion, I believe that “perfesser” lacks gravitas. I now demand to be referred to as “Herr Doktor* Lemieux.”

*Note to any Michelle Malkin fans: I do not think this is the proper English spelling of “doctor.” I regret the confusion. Also, I do not think William Jacobson is a character from Clue.

Posted in General | 102 comments

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102 comments on this post.

  1. Spokane Moderate:

    January 26th, 2013 at 11:39 am

    Are you a perfesser of dangeral studies?

  2. IM:

    January 26th, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Also, I do not think William Jacobson is a character from Clue.

    Don’t bet on it.

  3. Njorl:

    January 26th, 2013 at 11:53 am

    Pfft. “Her” has only one “r”, “doctor” is spelled with a “c” and if you think that Michelle Malkin will let you be her doctor, forget it. She doesn’t need any doctor. Have you seen her cheerleader video?

  4. wjts:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    Between Loomis and Lemieux, this whole blog is turning into a freakin’ Dangeral Studies Jamberoo.

  5. DocAmazing:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Oh, I think the one thing that Jacobson lacks is a Clue.

  6. DocAmazing:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    Between The Donalde and the hordes at Twitchy, you, Dr. Loomis, and the whole LGM crew have a shot at wingnut immortality.

    (I’m merely evil, though that does comfort me on cold nights.)

  7. howard:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    It’s amazing how old dutch looked to me then; now that i’m within a decade or so of his age then, he looks much younger!

  8. John Protevi:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    Most dangerous, eh? These doctorsDoktors would like a word with you!

    Doctor #1

    Doctor #2

  9. J.W. Hamner:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    I know a lot of liberals, like Balloon Juice’s DougJ, enjoy trolling conservative blogs… but I don’t feel like we have the same unified command and control “Fly, my minions, FLY!” thing going on. I guess they feel like they are edumacating* the masses or whatever but it just seems like such a colossal waste of time to crash en masse into an opponents comments section. I suppose the virtual high fives they give each other after much be pretty special.

    *Note: Purposely misspelled by the author

  10. Spokane Moderate:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    wjts, I’d like to buy your rock.

  11. Derelict:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Sometimes I really feel sorry for Malkin’s followers. They’re so easily mislead, so gullible, and yet so vociferous. It feels like taunting a developmentally disabled kid to get them riled up about something.

    On the other hand, I’m definitely looking forward to finding out exactly what kind of countertops Scott has!

  12. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    I thought Berube was the most dangerous, but maybe those other guys qualify, too.

  13. LassMichInRuhe:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Actually, I think it is spelled “Perfessuh”.

  14. Tnap01:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Holy shit, a quick Google shows that Adam Yoshida was probably still alive as of Sept. 1 2012. I thought the dude died from a erotic asphyxiation accident sometime around 2007!

  15. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    “Neoconfederate hack” is putting it mildly. Judge Sentelle is the one who gave us Kenneth Starr as the special prosecutor invetigating Clinton, having concluded that Robert B. Fiske, a Republican and experienced prosecutor who had already found no wrongdoing in several aspects of Whitewater, was insuficently objective.

  16. CD:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    “Lemieux” is an obvious typo.

  17. somethingblue:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Well, all the boys call him Herr Doktor Professor Lemieux. But the girls all call him a little ol’ lovin’ man …

  18. J.W. Hamner:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Personally, I’m shocked Doctor Doom didn’t make the list ahead of the Sorcerer Supreme. Though perhaps you are arguing that the title is an honorific? I admit it’s not clear to me whether he actually finished his dissertation before embarking on world domination.

  19. John Protevi:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    So many doctors, so few links in any one comment!

  20. Erik Loomis:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    It’s all very exciting.

  21. Alan Tomlinson:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    That would be, Herr Professor Doktor; get it right.

    Regards,

    Alan Tomlinson
    (who had a cousin with that title)

  22. UberMitch:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    “One thing”?

  23. Roger Ailes:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Frau Jacobson has been heard to describe her man as “Mrs. Pea Cock.”

  24. UberMitch:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    You know who else used German honorifics?

  25. wjts:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    I share your outrage. I seem to remember Stephen Strange expressly turning down a teaching position following the car accident that robbed him of his surgical talents. He was never a professor of any sort.

    I think Curt Connors might have taught at ESU for a while, though. THERE’S a dangerous professor.

  26. John Protevi:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Excellent use of that internet tradition!

  27. Hogan:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Frau Bluecher? (Nee-ee-eeigh!)

  28. SEK:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Reading the comments over there did make me think, though, that our production company, even if that basically amounts to me at the moment, needs a name, you know:

    Lawyers, Guns & Money Presents …

    … A Head on a Stick Production
    … An Internet Tradition Production
    … A Pancakes for Jenny Production

    Someone more clever needs to come up with something more clever.

  29. wjts:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    The Margrave of Baden-Pforzheim?

  30. DrDick:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    The most important thing anyway.

  31. DrDick:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    I did and I needed a doctor for severe nausea afterwards.

  32. DrDick:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    The site itself may become the Wingnut Mordor!

  33. Anonymous:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    Frank Marshall Davis?

  34. Hogan:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    I’m pretty sure Doctor Octopus earned it.

  35. calling all toasters:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    It definitely needs umlauts.

  36. DrDick:

    January 26th, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Meine Urgrossfvateren?

  37. somethingblue:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    That may be how they roll over in Yurp, Dude, but not here in the Land of Freedom™.

  38. Daniel:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Maybe perfesser was an honest mistake, but what about your article “B-Yond tha Contra-majorit-aryan Difficultee: Lesons From Deemokratik Theeree?” And that got published!!!! #TheStateofAcademia

  39. Erik Loomis:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    It should be clear which of those I support.

  40. Hogan:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    For Erik’s, Control of the Means of Production Productions?Or Historical Dildos Productions?

    Coffee-Drinking Elitist Productions?

  41. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Friedrich der Grosse, inventor of fast food?

  42. cpinva:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    i have no sympathy at all, for people who are intentionally ignorant bigots. if i thought they were simply uninformed, that would be one thing, but they aren’t, they very intentionally ignore any information that doesn’t comport with their world view. malkin is just another rightwing grifter, happily siphoning cash from the rubes. or maybe she’s finally reached a place where she actually believes the bullshit she spouts, and happily takes their money. either way, it doesn’t matter, it’s bullshit, and her fanboys are intentional rubes. oh, and they’re never going to see her naked.

  43. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Traditional Pancakes on Stick Productions

  44. Origami Isopod:

    January 26th, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Chafed Walrus Productions.

  45. Dave:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Clearly, it should be ‘Lepire’, but you’d need to know French to know that….

  46. Michael Bérubé:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I was dangerous by the much lower standards of aught-six. But this is a whole new order of dangerosity … there’s just no comparison. It’s like, how much more dangeral can you get than LGM? And the answer is none. None more dangeral.

  47. Njorl:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    Nowadays they cycle down through a few different nouns, like:

    Lawyers, Guns & Money Presents …

    … A Head on a Stick Production
    … An Internet Tradition film
    … From Pancakes for Jenny Studios

  48. Njorl:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Nachrichtenubermittlungs-oberfuhrer Adler?

  49. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Now this is amusing. From a 2010 Supreme Court oral argument–the Chief Justice wonders why the NLRB doesn’t have a quorum:

    NEAL KATYAL, DEPUTY SOLICITOR GENERAL: They were named in July of last year. They were voted out of committee in October. One of them had a hold and had to be renominated. That renomination took place. There was a failed quorum — a failed cloture vote in February. And so all three nominations are pending. And I think that underscores the general contentious nature of the appointment process with respect to this set of issues.

    CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And the recess appointment power doesn’t work why?

  50. olexicon:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    ‘CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: And the recess appointment power doesn’t work why?”

    Shorter

    “Fucking Magnets, how do they work?”

  51. olexicon:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    I apologize for my prediction yesterday coming true

  52. BigHank53:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Die Antwoord?

  53. snarkout:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    Meister Eckhart?

  54. rea:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    No, more like–”Go ahead and fill the positions by recess appointment, as the Constitution allows.”

  55. S_noe:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    You’ve won my vote if we’re voting.

  56. Melissa:

    January 26th, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Thanks for including Ezra Levant. He deserves it.

  57. S_noe:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    I think it might be antiquated now (God, I hope so), but the wife of a PhD can be addressed as “Frau Doktor” (Mrs Doctor) in German. Theoretically, if she herself has a doctorate, you could call her “Doktor Frau Doktor So-und-so.” My mother claims to have been so addressed in correspondence from some German fuddy-duddies. I am skeptical, but those guys were really formal. – it could have happened.

  58. Joseph Slater:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    Die Bart Die!

  59. Erik Loomis:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    I like Control of the Means of Production Productions a good bit.

  60. Leeds man:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Syphilitic Walrus, shurely?

  61. herr doktor bimler:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    Just one little experiment with unwilling human subjects and you never hear the last of it.

  62. mark f:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Don’t sell yourself short; your efforts had a hand in correlating LGM’s dangerealness.

  63. mark f:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    Meh, one of the Power Line guys bought his kid a job at NRO. Their standards have fallen.

  64. somethingblue:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Aaron Eckhart?

  65. Hogan:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    No one who speaks German could be evil!

  66. DocAmazing:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    You’ve got the wrong man, mister! He spells his name “Danger”!

  67. Alan Tomlinson:

    January 26th, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    You are invited to abandon your skepticism–that shit’s real. The first part anyway. If the woman has her own Ph.D. or M.D., then she would still be called Frau Doktor _____. The real fun is when you have somebody who has two doctorates: such people are, I shit you not, called Frau/Herr Doktor Doktor _______.

    Cheers,

    Alan Tomlinson

  68. DocAmazing:

    January 26th, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    “Doktor” or “Doktorin”?

  69. Michael Bérubé:

    January 26th, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    And here I thought that to everyone I meet, I stay a stranger.

  70. Alan Tomlinson:

    January 26th, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Doktor. I know, it was formerly declined by gender; no longer. At least in my experience. Besides, when you hear the word Frau, it is sort of assumed that the person being discussed is gender identifying as female.

    Cheers,

    Alan Tomlinson

  71. Aaron Baker:

    January 26th, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    Well, Lemieux, you are vulnerable on the spelling front.

  72. DrDick:

    January 26th, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    I do hold out the possibility that they are merely severely brain damaged as a result of their mothers dropping them on their heads as infants. From a tenth floor window. Repeatedly.

  73. Eli Rabett:

    January 26th, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Mostly you would say Herr Doktor or Frau Doktor or Fred.

    Where it got to be fun, was when holders of non-EU PhDs were hauled into court in ~2008 for using a title they were not entitled to.

    Strictly speaking the German degree is not a PhD, so folks style themselves Herr Doktor Fred Fred rer. nat.

  74. mds:

    January 26th, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    The real fun is when you have somebody who has two doctorates: such people are, I shit you not, called Frau/Herr Doktor Doktor

    Indeed, who can forget Frau Doktor Doktor Gimmi Thenüs?

  75. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    January 26th, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    perhaps next time you will listen to me and sew their lips shut.

  76. RhZ:

    January 26th, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    That’s Dutch, dude. Geez.

  77. RhZ:

    January 26th, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    Plus, his SHIRT is horribly WRINKLED!!

    I rest my case.

  78. Tehanu:

    January 26th, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    Then how about “No Anchovies Productions”?

  79. FlipYrWhig:

    January 26th, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Or Herr Doktor Doktor Kantu C. Aimbürning-Bürning.

  80. herr doktor bimler:

    January 26th, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    Hitlerjugendleiter Benedict XVI?

  81. mds:

    January 26th, 2013 at 11:56 pm

    Scott Lemieux reads BOOKS, and his TIE is not a clip-on.

    And we can only infer it from the provided photo, but I’m sure his gut is almost as disgusting as Michelle Malkin’s opinion on anything. FFS!

  82. Anonymous:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:04 am

    If it would give liberals something to argue about with each other, then you’d see some action. Otherwise, can’t be bovvered.

  83. Jewish Steel:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:05 am

    The above was me. Musta cleaned out all of my cookies or something.

  84. Mike Schilling:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:25 am

    Goo goo ga joob

  85. Jewish Steel:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:26 am

    How do I tell a doubly doktored frau that I have a bad case of loving her? Formally?

  86. Mike Schilling:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:31 am

    Doktor Doktor, I been abused
    The culprit’s Perfessor Herr Lemieux

  87. commie atheist:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:53 am

    Needs to get some of those permanent press dress shirts. Or a dryer with a tumble function.

  88. commie atheist:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:55 am

    Michelle Malkin? You mean the Kapo wannabe?

  89. elm:

    January 27th, 2013 at 1:16 am

    Burgermeister Meisterburger?

  90. herr doktor bimler:

    January 27th, 2013 at 1:47 am

    Niederländische is just another German dialect.

  91. H. Rumbold, Master Barber:

    January 27th, 2013 at 3:31 am

    Nationalgymnasiummuseumsanatoriumandsuspensoriumsord-inaryprivatdocentgeneralhistoryspecialprofessordoctor Kriegfried Ueberallgemein

  92. Epist:

    January 27th, 2013 at 3:36 am

    Audrey Farber?

  93. Epist:

    January 27th, 2013 at 3:45 am

    “Doctor, Doctor, can’t you see I’m burnin, burin”

    But you knew that, didn’t you…

  94. herr doktor bimler:

    January 27th, 2013 at 5:02 am

    A bad case? Use the genitive rather than the accusative.

  95. Anonymous:

    January 27th, 2013 at 5:09 am

    More inexplicable Mses.

  96. Hogan:

    January 27th, 2013 at 10:32 am

    Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt, Brahms, Panties…I’m sorry…Schumann, Schubert, Mendelssohn and Bach. Names that will live for ever. But there is one composer whose name is never included with the greats. Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-Schplenden-Schlitter-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle-Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von- Knacker-Thrasher-Apple-Banger-Horowitz-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemeyer-Spelterwasser-Kurstlich-Himbleeisen-Bahnwagen-Gutenabend-Bitte-ein-Nürnburger-Bratwustle-Gerspurten-mitz-Weimache-Luber-Hundsfut-Gumberaber-Shönedanker-Kalbsfleisch-Mittler-Aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?

  97. IM:

    January 27th, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Don’t tell them…

    People are irrational. There are even some who – for whatever possible reason – deny that Yiddish is just another german dialect.

  98. Jewish Steel:

    January 27th, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Oof! Did not see that coming.

  99. herr doktor bimler:

    January 27th, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    It’s surprising how annoyed Afrikaaners get when you call their language dialect Dutch.

  100. CD:

    January 27th, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    I know you like it, you like it on top
    Tell me, momma, are you gonna stop?

  101. NorthLeft12:

    January 28th, 2013 at 8:12 am

    A young Canadian reactionary?

    If that is true, I cannot believe the philosophically pure reactionaries at Ms. Malkin’s corner of the internet did not immediately call him/her out. As I love pointing out to my “Conservative” family, friends and co-workers; we are pretty much all socialists up here…..at least compared to the idealogues you have down south.

    I can only conclude that this chap/lady is really an American who has just come off a vacation in some other part of the world that he did not want to be identified as a US citizen.

  102. Cody:

    January 28th, 2013 at 10:10 am

    No, more like–”Go ahead and fill the positions by recess appointment, as the Constitution allows.”

    “John Roberts: I can stop Obama from appointing people? It’s clear to anyone who has done deep studying – which I now have – that this is unconstitutional!”

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