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Le Blog De Jean-Paul Sartre


Not bad:

Wednesday, 22 July, 1959: 10:50 A.M.

This morning over breakfast S. asked me why I looked so glum.

“Because,” I said, “everything that exists is born for no reason, carries on living through weakness, and dies by accident.”

“Jesus,” S. said. “Aren’t you ever off the clock?”

Monday, 27 July, 1959: 4:10 A.M.

Lunch with Merleau-Ponty this afternoon in Saint-Germain-des-Prés. I was disturbed to hear that he has started a photoblog, and skeptical when he told me that although all its images are identical—a lonely kitten staring bleakly into space as rain falls pitilessly from an empty sky—he averages sixteen thousand page views per day. When I asked to see his referrer logs, he muttered evasively about having an appointment with an S.E.O. specialist and scurried away.

So this is hell.


Tuesday, 4 August, 1959: 3: 30 P.M.

A year ago, in a moment of weakness, I allowed my American literary representative to sell one of my books to a cinema producer for what was described as “a bold exploration of contemporary issues.” Yesterday I received a packet of publicity materials for a film titled “Johnny Sart: PD Squad.” The subtitle, or “tag line,” was “No badge. No gun. No exit.” A series of transatlantic telephone calls followed. Apparently I am unable to have my name removed from this abomination, but I will receive what is called a “co-producer” credit.

Existence is an imperfection.

Thursday, 20 August, 1959: 2:10 P.M.

If Man exists, God cannot exist, because God’s omniscience would reduce Man to an object. And if Man is merely an object, why then must I pay the onerous fees levied on overdue balances by M. Pelletier at the patisserie? At least this was the argument I raised this morning with M. Pelletier. He seemed unconvinced and produced his huge loutish son Gilles from the back, ominously brandishing a large pastry roller. The pastry roller existed, I can tell you that.

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  • Warren Terra

    I found it to be quite good. The “Jesus, aren’t you ever off the clock?” reminded me a lot of reading Woody Allen’s Getting Even, albeit as remembered across a couple of decades. Apparently a lot of Getting Even was first published in The New Yorker, so that makes some sense.

    • Hogan

      All day long it’s the bourgeoisie this and the bourgeoisie that.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, the memorable Woody Allen piece was entitled “What If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists” or some such silliness and it beautifully spoofed Van Gogh’s overly passionate missives about art to his brother Theo.

  • Walt

    I loved the photo-blog. It’s only slightly odder than actual things that exist.

  • This may be the best thing Sarte ever wrote. ;-)

    • Warren Terra

      It doesn’t hold a candle to Johnny Sart 2: Johnny Sarter.

      • Bexley

        I’ve always preferred his comedy tv show Get Sartre.

        • Bill Murray

          and I preferred his candies — Sartries

  • John Protevi

    Not bad at all.

  • Bob
    • Jonas

      I don’t know, the Harriet Miers Blog was pretty fantastic too.

    • Toby Belch

      Geoffrey Chaucer Hath A Blog was good too.

    • marijane
  • John

    Better in the short, greatest hits version Scott posts here than in the original, which goes on a bit too long.

  • Leeds man

    All well and good, but the lolcat bible has better poetry and more wisdom.

    But doan nun ov it mean nuthin. (Ecclesiastes 12:8)

    • The Dark Avenger

      If our crazy-ass asses say dat our crazy-ass asses have no sin, our crazy-ass asses deceive ourselves, n’ tha truth aint up in us.
      1 John, 1. 8

      Dude dat loveth not knoweth not Dogg; fo’ Dogg is love.
      1 John, 4. 8

      If a playa say, I ludd Dogg, n’ hateth his brutha, he be a liar: fo’ he dat loveth not his brutha whom he hath seen, how tha fuck can he ludd Dogg whom he hath not seen?
      1 John, 4. 20

  • Logistics

    I read some existianlism the other day. It made vivid sense to me in a way it never did 15 years ago. I think I’m self-aware enough to know that this makes me less intelligent than I used to think I was. Help!

  • ChrisTS

    Along similar lines, Fauxphilnews is very good.

  • Michael

    Oldie but goodie:

    Cormac McCarthy on Yelp

    • Toby Belch

      That’s pretty much perfect.

  • Caesaigh

    I hear Bruce Willis will be starring in the stage version ofDie Sartre

  • Captain Haddock

    Here be a shout-out to Fafblog, bless its collective soul.

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