A Declaration of Independence
In the spirit of Andrew Sullivan’s bold Declaration of Independence from old media, Lawyers, Guns and Money would like to announce that it also wants your money. For a donation of only $19.99, you assure yourself of access to all the extraordinary LGM content that you have grown accustomed to, without the overbearing presence of “editors,” or the expectation of “quality.”* ** *** ****
*Donation does not assure you of any exclusive content.
**Donation does not remove ads or other revenue generating widgets from site.
***Donation is not, by any means, tax deductible.
****Donation will only incidentally reach any victims of Hurricane Sandy, or of any other natural disaster.
Scott Lemieux:
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:44 pm
I can assure Kentucky readers, however, that a substantial portion of your donation will be returned to the Kentucky economy, if distillers haven’t outsourced everything yet.
Ken Houghton:
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Hey! Sullivan’s asking for $19.99 to keep the site ad-free.
Next thing you know, you’ll be declaring that the adverts for LowerMyBills.com and SunAnt.com are the best value you provide.
UserGoogol:
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:58 pm
LGM’s ads are only moderately terrible.
NonyNony:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:02 pm
But without ads, how would I know which SnorgTees are fashionable this week? Or where to click to get “expert commentary” on my gold and silver purchases?
I’m wondering what the internet ad model is like these days with the “quality” of ads I’m seeing everywhere. Google apparently thinks that I’m some kind of goldbug who needs to buy ammo online and also wants to refinance his home through a shady bank. And those are probably the best ads I’ve been seeing since the election. I’m almost starting to miss Romney’s mug on the blogs I frequent.
John Protevi:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:05 pm
*****Donation does not guarantee the presence or absence of JenBob’s stylings on any one visit. That is in the hands of an angry God.
Ron:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:11 pm
For $19.99, would you at least be willing to make me aware of all internet traditions?
Or, to use a different version of the same joke, shorter Andrew Sullivan:
ploeg:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:12 pm
****** Donation will not facilitate occasional delivery of erotic material to your mobile device, but you are welcome to think of it as a fringe benefit if you are so inclined.
zombie rotten mcdonald:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:16 pm
perhaps you should investigate the Sky Loans link that shows up in your sidebar.
Vance Maverick:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:18 pm
For that money, would I get an explanation of the pancake meme?
Roger Ailes:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:20 pm
***** Do not taunt Happy Donate Icon.
spencer:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:28 pm
+ harrumph.
Malaclypse:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:32 pm
Here you go.
jimintampa:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:33 pm
Done and done – when do I get the Sekrit Handshake? Decoder Ring?
J. Otto Pohl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:33 pm
They are pretty bad and indicative of a vulgar love of money for the sake of money by the LGM staff.
Aaron B.:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Speaking of which, come see my new band, Vulgar Love of Money.
Linnaeus:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:36 pm
LGM and Jacobin will be getting holiday cheer from me this year.
Aaron B.:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:36 pm
“Drink More Ovaltine”
david mizner:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:37 pm
Yeah, just 19.99 to be able to read ad-free “inquiries” into whether black people are less intelligent than white people.
And not having to be bothered with being able to leave a comment!
Aaron B.:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Welp, there’s my cue to stop reading Sully.
Brad DeLong:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:42 pm
I will donate only if you promise at least one war a year with Crooked Timber…
Matt:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:46 pm
****Donation will only incidentally reach any victims of Hurricane Sandy, or of any other natural disaster.
I think this is the wrong track. You should promise that, if you get, say $10K in donations or more, you’ll make a trip to NY City or Atlantic City or the like to personally help the local economy. It would be extremely humanitarian of you.
Bijan Parsia:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
We are always at war with Crooked Timber!
Or is that Glenn Greenwald?!
commie atheist:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
For the Love of Ivy!
Eli Rabett:
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
WTF, lawyers, guns and money and you clowns can’t even set up a shell 501 c3?
somethingblue:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:04 pm
I think you need a more progressive donation structure. I propose:
Aluminum level ($14.99): access to all posts plus an LGM totebag
Titanium level ($19.99): access to all posts plus no totebag.
Magnesium level ($24.99): benefits per Titanium level plus Scott records your answering machine message (“Hi, this is X. I can’t come to the phone right now because James Madison.”)
Stainless Steel level ($29.99): Magnesium level plus autographed copy of J. Otto Pohl’s dissertation.
Beryllium level ($34.99): all the Stainless Steel goodies plus any conservative chain e-mails you receive are automatically reforwarded to Joe from Lowell.
Cobalt level ($39.99): Beryllium level plus Wayne LaPierre’s head on a stick. [Limited number available.]
Malaclypse:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:05 pm
You needed this one last reason? Dear Cthulhu Below, why?
jon:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:06 pm
Jumpin’ Jehosaphat, what Blessings the New Year brings! Too long have we been ground down beneath the boot heel of quality. The Day of Liberation is truly upon us!
I can only hope that your ill gotten gains will be funneled directly into an autonomous killer drone swarm. After all, if you give us the guns, we’ll get our own butter.
Pseudonym:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:09 pm
It’s not management’s fault; they were forced to run those ads in order to cover the cost of ruinously high wages and Cadillac health plans for the fat-cat unionized workers.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:09 pm
You know if you just e-mail me I can send you a free pdf of the dissertation. It won’t be autographed, however. The department does not have a scanner. So to get a signature on an electronic document requires me to go over to Akuofo hall and climb up to the internet cafe above the Taco Bell and have it scanned back in. I generally only do that if there is big money involved.
Anonymous:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:14 pm
does that butter go with pancakes?
Pseudonym:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:14 pm
The basic problem with internet content advertising is that it works best (or at all) on the kinds of sites that attract people who make their purchasing decisions based on internet display ads. This particularly seems to apply to political sites, hence ads for gold and ammo.
Pseudonym:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:17 pm
For some reason Crooked Timber bloggers seem to get bent out of shape pretty easily.
Pseudonym:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:20 pm
A real progressive blog would structure suggested donations as a percentage of one’s hypothetical Eisenhower-era income tax bill.
ScrewyCanuck:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:21 pm
+1 for referencing the Classics.
Murc:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:21 pm
I got nothing against Sully trying to monetize himself independently. Regardless of the quality of his commentary (sometimes good, often quite bad) dude works his ass off and he deserves to get paid.
But his whole huge essay when he announced he was going independent was very… dated. It read like it was written in 2001 by a guy who has just discovered the whole ‘new media’ thing (as it was then called) and still hasn’t come down from the high he got last night in his college dorm room as he and his other journalism major buddies worked out how this was going to change EVERYTHING.
I mean, that just might be a function of my being a millennial and, thus, marinated in irony. I shouldn’t begrudge anyone genuine, sincere enthusiasm in something. But it was a bit like reading someone waxing rhapsodic about the ‘information superhighway’ and how they were totally going to get a ‘game-changing’ online presence going and have you seen their new web presence? Something that is just… dated.
I also don’t know that I’m willing to pay just for commentary without getting other things as well. Sullivan is just that… a commentator. He has no actual expertise. Here at LGM, for example, a lot of what gets posted is political commentary… but Erik is an actual expert in labor issues. He has credentials, has done scholarly work. Farley is an expert in international relations. SEK is an actual teacher. Scott and Paul are lawyers can speak dispositively as to matters of law.
There’s a reason that opinion pieces were traditionally included as added value in news outlets, rather than being the thing and the whole of the thing.
Uncle Kvetch:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:21 pm
I want the donation level that includes an actual, functioning green lantern. Preferably autographed by our hosts.
ScrewyCanuck:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:22 pm
They think their blog’s a peer-reviewed journal.
Murc:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Honestly, at that point given the opportunity costs it might actually be cheaper to physically mail the damn thing, even from Ghana.
ScrewyCanuck:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:24 pm
That’s Sully for you: a day late and a dollar short.
P.S. you’re not really jaded until you’re pickled in irony.
Scott Lemieux:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:29 pm
Scott and Paul are lawyers can speak dispositively as to matters of law.
You are about to make Ann Althouse very angry!
rea:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Not to mention the rising cost of headsticks . . .
Barry Freed:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:36 pm
It costs a lot of money to keep that fucking walrus in pancakes.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:38 pm
Maybe, but then I would have to print out the whole thing first. It is easiest to just take the pdf without my signature. That I can do instantly. But, I suspect this debate is academic since very few people have requested my dissertation. Usually they have left a comment on my blog with an e-mail which works.
Uncle Kvetch:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:41 pm
It read like it was written in 2001 by a guy who has just discovered the whole ‘new media’ thing (as it was then called) and still hasn’t come down from the high he got last night in his college dorm room as he and his other journalism major buddies worked out how this was going to change EVERYTHING.
Can it be true? Andrew Sullivan, wildly overestimating his own significance? I’d better keep an eye out for flying pigs on my way home tonight.
Malaclypse:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:46 pm
The whole thing reeks of the sort of numerical literacy that leaves one finding The Bell Curve plausible.
Back of the envelope: assume no overhead at all, and that the three principles want to earn 60K each. Add employer payroll taxes, plus bennies, and you are looking at compensation costs of 200K annually. That’s 10,000 subscribers, just to break even, with an impossibly easy set of assumptions. Add in overheads, and the sort of salary Sully no doubt feels entitled to, and you probably need to hit the ground running with somewhere around 30,000-50,000 subscribers. Minimum. Depending on web development costs, which I don’t know enough about to model well, you might need upwards of 100,000 subscribers.
To put that into perspective, the New York Times, with a paywall working better than anyone had guessed, has 566,000 subscribers.
Not Gonna Happen.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:46 pm
As far as I can tell it is just Farrell and Quiggin that have serious attitude problems. The rest are a lot more tolerant of dissent.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:48 pm
I can do a war everyday with Crooked Timber if the price is high enough. What type of donation are we talking about?
UberMitch:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Or to keep that walrus fucking in pancakes
Aaron B.:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:55 pm
I have a lot of free time.
jon:
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:58 pm
This here Gen-U-Wine Zevon butter goes on everything your blue chrome 45 can smear it on, which only leaves out warm pudding and beverages under 3.2 ABV. How many tubs shall I put you down for?
John:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:07 pm
It seems to me that there are some very large questions as to what constitutes “working.” It’s not like people click through TV ads to immediately buy things.
Both Sides Do It:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:23 pm
Nahhh, that’s not what he’s going for.
There’s probably some piss-off money from Tina Brown. Between that and people paying more than twenty bucks enough of his herd of readers will pause their cud-chewing and donate so that they’ll have enough cash to at least say “we did it” and nominally start one of those tablet/commission projects he mentioned.
At which point they’ll solicit funds from some foundation or grant or something using this same kind of cheesy rhetoric with big piles of “our established readership makes us different from all the other tablet/commission projects out there and we’ve demonstrated it can makes this stuff work” heaped on top.
Or try to, anyway. Sullivan’s Wolfram-like insistence on taking credit for shit he didn’t do might throw some sand in these New Media gears.
Reilly:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:31 pm
I never Sully myself so I was unaware that he doesn’t have a comment section. Which explains this bizarre quote from his pitch:
Why yes, unattributed insight is the highest form of internet contribution, a selfless gift to the common good. Which is why I weep for Andrew, who who must reluctantly carry the burden of altruism lost by writing under his own name — and thus take credit, if that time ever comes, for his own insight.
Hogan:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:31 pm
I have access to Adobe Acrobat Pro, so if Otto will send me his signature, I can
forge it on large checkspaste it onto the title page of his dissertation pdf.ploeg:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:33 pm
Granting that many would find a NYT digital subscription to be worth more than a Sully subscription, a NYT digital subscription runs you at least 9 times more than what Sully’s proposing.
And since paywalls can be defeated easily (and are thereby to a large extent voluntary), of course Sully has to play up the gee-whiz-support-independent-media angle to get his readers to part with their money. It’s pretty much his main competitive advantage against outlets such as the New York Times Company.
Ronan:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Just donated $200..lwt me know if theres some mistake and it doesnt process
befuggled:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:50 pm
There is a subset of ads which have the equivalent of an instant click-through. “Call 1-800-INFOMER and get two other worthless things absolutely free!”
Murc:
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Well, to be clear, Sullivan’s actual business model might be entirely viable. He has an enormous readership and only needs a small percentage to convert.
I mean, Penny Arcade, which is basically just a webcomic and some ancillary bitching, manages to produce enough revenue just from ads to support its creators, their families, and a bunch of employees very comfortably. Their kickstarter generated a shit-ton of money as well.
Remember, whatever personal antipathy you might have for him, Sullivan DOES have a devoted readership. An enormous one. It is entirely reasonably to think he might be able to leverage that into direct revenue FROM them without a publisher of some sort as an intermediary. It’s been done before.
My criticism of him was more about the impossibly breathless tone and attitude surrounding this enterprise. Sullivan is setting up a small, independent online business. This isn’t a bad thing, but it also isn’t remarkable in and of itself.
It’s like waxing rhapsodic over opening a pizza parlor. Good for you, but you’re no pioneer.
somethingblue:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Maaaaah! Murc is saying mean things about Job Creators!!
Vance Maverick:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Chris Bertram comes out swinging from time to time, though I’m not sure he’s attacked LGM in particular. Same goes for Corey Robin.
Karl:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:24 pm
Salon went to a subscription model in 2001 and it saved them, breathless appeals and all. That’s how far behind Sullivan is. I hardly expect his average reader to be well-informed on historical matters and his post shows he doesn’t either. Two major differences: Salon has always published original journalism, and Salon never stopped running ads.
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Why? Is it dangerous?
Jeremy:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:43 pm
You’re not monetizing your knowledge.
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:44 pm
I have access to an invaluable Ghanaian collectible. Unfortunately, I cannot, myself, use it directly. If you send me 200 dollars, I can ensure that you receive this collectible. It is, I assure you, priceless.
Signed,
elm, Crown Prince of Ghana
Malaclypse:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Socialists like to share.
Joe:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Scott and Paul are lawyers
Scott is a lawyer?
http://www.strose.edu/academics/schoolofartsandhumanities/historypoliticalscience/faculty/drscottlemieux
Paul Campos:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:49 pm
No lawyers blog here. There aren’t any lawyers blogging at Althouse either (Having a law degree doesn’t make somebody a lawyer. This insight is just one of many that can be yours for the low low price of $4.99 if you buy DON’T GO TO LAW SCHOOL (UNLESS).
Manju:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Why am I always inundated with ads for birdcages?
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Another problem is how he will attract new readers with this model. Will those who currently link to him pay to read his stuff? Will they continue to link if their readers can’t follow it? If he has no new readers, eventually his customer base will shrivel and die.
Most places get around this by having a mixture of free and premium content (Baseball prospectus, for instance), by allowing a limited number of views a month (NYT), by having the first paragraph free and the rest available by subscription (ESPN Insider and a lot of NCAA recruiting sites, often tied to writing misleading teasers to get you interested enough to pick up a subscription), by allowing links from certain sites provided you watch an ad (Salon), etc. The last one seems precluded by Sully’s no-ad policy and I don’t know how viable the middle two are.
I’m pretty sure this won’t be successful long-term if he can’t solve this problem.
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:05 pm
And Rob is a gun! And djw is money! Wait, that last one might be true for some figurative meanings of money.
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:06 pm
I think everyone on the blog is an actual teacher, not just SEK.
wjts:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Happy Donate Icon is composed of an unknown glowing substance that fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Joe:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:25 pm
sounds like the making of some Saturday morning cartoon
Bill Murray:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:26 pm
their was a band called the Vulgar Boatmen, who were quite good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kop24gtlS8o
Bill Murray:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:28 pm
Freedom Cages sponsors DW-Nominate?
jon:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:33 pm
People show up here for something besides the Snorg Tees?
Bill Murray:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:35 pm
Bertram’s disemvoweled DeLong a couple of times. Most recently because Brad was doing his standard why do you hate _____ schtick
jon:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:40 pm
I’ll bid an extra $1.99 for calligraphy and marginalia.
Mojo:
January 2nd, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Many of the ads are targeted based on search history so I get mostly ads for choir robes and Save the Children campaigns. Yes, that’s it. Not ads for mail order brides and debt relief scams at all.
zombie rotten mcdonald:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:08 pm
I even managed to see them once.
Jon Hendry:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:11 pm
I might pledge, if you could get Celtic Thunder on the blog.
zombie rotten mcdonald:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:12 pm
or a joke: “A lawyer, a gun, and money walked into a bar…”
Jon Hendry:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:13 pm
This is weird, but I always thought of Scott as being blonde.
I have *no* idea why.
Murc:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:33 pm
Er… did you read how this is going to work, elm?
Anything linked to from another source will be free if you’re following the link.
That is in fact the model. You get a certain number of free ‘Read Mores’ a month and the rest you have to pony up for.
Which is something he’ll be doing.
elm:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:39 pm
I read the first 3/4s of his post and stopped. I guess the details were at the end. My bad.
I still think he’s going to have problems adding readers because I suspect his incoming links will drop. Not all the people currently linking to him will care enough to pony up the money for a subscription.
BigHank53:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:49 pm
What happens in the walrus stays in the walrus.
CD:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:51 pm
Salon still exists?
Incontinentia Buttocks:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Can I have a BULLY PULPIT instead?
DrDick:
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Actually, the ads you see are based on your internet browsing habits, as well as content on the website. Each of us gets a slightly different mix.
Vance Maverick:
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:10 pm
It’s the bloggers who model the SnorgTees, right? I wasn’t sure whether the blonde was Scott, actually.
Ken:
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:28 pm
I’m going to start reading him, just to be able to stop reading him.
Ken:
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:29 pm
You could hold a canned food drive. I think they have canned food at Walmart, don’t they?
ocularity:
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:38 pm
I am apparently the only one who say what you did there.
ocularity:
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:38 pm
saw grrrr…
DrDick:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:00 pm
Frankly, I never found any reason to read him in the first place.
Sy:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:15 pm
Si
RhZ:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:21 pm
I think the SunAnt one is more permanent than the others. Its pretty consistent. I like it, its colorful.
bob_is_boring:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:24 pm
I wish I’d thought of that.
PS, in case my subtext was too subtle: you can’t spell “faux-intellectual” without “tell.”
chris:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:26 pm
Penny Arcade has merchandise. Does anyone even want a Sullivan t-shirt, or a book of his greatest hits (if he has any)?
bob_is_boring:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:27 pm
Pitchfork level ($99.99): Professor Loomis will come to your house and personally put your head on a stick.
bob_is_boring:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:30 pm
I don’t know what that is. I don’t know if what you’re saying means anything.
UberMitch:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:40 pm
What would a Sullivan t-shirt say?
“Sully is willing to consider that black people are genetically less intelligent and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!”
“Ask me about Sarah Palin’s amniotic fluid!”
joejoejoe:
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:44 pm
I, for one, salute our new SunAnt overlords.
Pseudonym:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:52 am
Did you visit the link? Right at the top is a photo of the staff wearing Sullivan t-shirts.
STH:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:54 am
Oh, are we back to TTH again?
Pseudonym:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:55 am
Oh, he’s a professor at the St. Rose School o’ Farts and Humanities?
Murc:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:00 am
Sullivan has a couple books that are pretty solid sellers. I know Virtually Normal has done very well for him and continues to generate solid royalties even after many, many years.
(This actually kind of baffles me, as Virtually Normal is extremely dated now.)
somethingblue:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:11 am
But only one of them holds degrees from a univeristy!
aid & abet:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:17 am
Perhaps a snazy Sully’s “Fifth Column” T-shirt that I could wear in my decandent enclave.
SEK:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:18 am
SunAnt is our hosting company. We give them space to keep our bandwidth costs down. (And a good thing, too, I say, as my visual rhetoric posts are a primary reason for our bandwidth costs.)
SEK:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:23 am
Please tell me you’re not actually this sensitive on the topic of unread dissertations.
SEK:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:28 am
I think Rob and I are the only ones who regularly talk about teaching, though, so it’s understandable why someone would think that.
elm:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:59 am
Ditto. I occassionally follow links to him, but I’ve never been moved to go there on my own to read him. With a wealth of smart and interesting people on the net, I’ve never seen what his appeal is.
RhZ:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:53 am
But how will I know when Sully is being an ignoramus? Oh right, I still know he is publishing something, therefore…
Murc, we have been over this about Sully before. He is a horrible human being and you should not wish him well. When a fricken foreigner calls US leftists traitors, that’s when the line has been crossed. Not the curve bell, not seeking to infect someone with HIV, not smearing E. Kagan, although each of these is objectively horrible and his has done all three. Yes, he works hard, at being a self-centered asshole.
God, you are such a millennial! Kidding, I kid.
That said, he does have a big readership, by virtue of starting up so early if nothing else. Now will those people pay money for the ‘enlightening’ commentary of Sully? Even with the ‘good’ stuff that you imagine exists.
I mean, I hate him for his war-mongering back in 2001-2003, and this looks like an absolutely stupid idea, but it seems like such a great opportunity to laugh at his dumb ass that I hesitate. Could he be this clueless?
…and could he pls take McArdle with him behind his firewall? Now that would be a New Year’s present to remember!
Bijan Parsia:
January 3rd, 2013 at 4:31 am
Yes, but I for one have no need to pay someone for silly, rather uninformed writing that has better than even odds of 1) enraging me and 2) lowering my total information levels. The internet will give me this in abundance for free!
(Put aside the racism, Palin insanity, etc….would following Sullivan during the presidential election been remotely useful? It might have been funny, but not really that funny. Freak outs were all over…it’s not like Sully is especially good at them.)
Bijan Parsia:
January 3rd, 2013 at 4:41 am
I feel that his last response to Ta-Neshi Coates was such an awful combination of self-congratulation, maudlin condescension, culpable cluelessness, and crappy writing that I feel the urge to vomit just remembering it.
Ugh. Ugh ugh and ugh.
swearyanthony:
January 3rd, 2013 at 4:43 am
Doesn’t he have a book or two of the window pictures he posts?
witless chum:
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:34 am
Hey, Andy, we got a Fifth Columnist over here!
Reilly:
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:58 am
…and the bartender looks at the gun and says “I can’t serve someone who goes off half-cocked and has a tendency to harm people indiscriminately, whether they’re guilty or innocent.” Then the bartender looks at money and says, “And I’ve got no respect for someone who will serve any master and will engage in an exchange of his intrinsic worth for even the lowest, most dubious of reasons.”
Then the bartender looks at the gun and at money again and says, “So I’m sorry you two, but I’m going to have to ask your lawyer friend to leave.”
Dave:
January 3rd, 2013 at 8:12 am
Five lines shorter, and that wouldn’t be a bad joke, for a first try.
ajay:
January 3rd, 2013 at 8:16 am
Many of the ads are targeted based on search history so I get mostly ads for choir robes and Save the Children campaigns.
Doing a lot of Google Images searches for choirboys, are we?
ajay:
January 3rd, 2013 at 8:20 am
Molybdenum level ($199.99): SEK will come to your house, stare through the window for 42 minutes (plus ads) and write a Visual Rhetoric post about what he sees.
Promethium level: ($499.99): You, or a member of your family, will be granted a speaking part in the next humorous accident to befall SEK. (Waiver and tetanus immunisation necessary to participate).
Reilly:
January 3rd, 2013 at 8:31 am
No doubt not as amusing as the one you would have written, if only you had.
But I suppose it could have been shorter. At what point did it begin to strain your power of concentration?
MPAVictoria:
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:30 am
Bertram hates to be questioned about anything!
MPAVictoria:
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:42 am
Don’t be fooled! Otto will fight for free. ;-)
Malaclypse:
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:44 am
Given his banning, I’d say his fighting days are over.
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:57 am
That is one cute lil’ rocket ship.
mds:
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:57 am
This belongs either in a modern William Gibson novel or a Thomas Friedman column; I haven’t quite decided which.
mds:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:01 am
Me neither. I just wish he would try it down at the rendering plant.
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:02 am
Even with all the free time in the world, how much Trig trutherism can one person take?
mds:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:02 am
Harumph.
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:06 am
Premium members get post-comment editing!*
*no idea if that’s even possible with this commenting system
Bill Murray:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:06 am
Shouldn’t the levels be based on Zevon songs?
Mohammed’s Radio ($10, you get access to each front pager reading their post(s) of the year)
Carmelita ($20, this level’s money goes to getting a new female front pager, plus you get a package of Jimmy Dean pure pork sausage)
Desperation Under the Eaves ($30, this level goes to front pagers house repair)
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner (%40, Wayne LaPierre’s head [picture] on a stick)
Excitable Boy ($50, you get a signed photo of SEK’s office with a visual rhetoric-style examination of where the student’s were having sex)
Accidentally Like A Martyr ($60, the special Loomis defense fund level)
Werewolves of London ($75, aaahoo, you get to have pina colada’s at Trader Vic’s with a front pager, assuming you meet a few other requirements which shall never be articulkated)
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:10 am
Wayne LaPierre’s head on a stick. [Limited number available.]
Cut off one**, and two will take its place. Hail Hydra!
**Not an actual threat; commenter takes no responsibility for any adverse events that may occur, and very little in general.
rea:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:11 am
For some reason Crooked Timber bloggers seem to get bent out of shape pretty easily.
“Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made . . .”
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:18 am
I’m sure you meant Celtic Woman.
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:24 am
I’m reminded of Melanie Griffith believing, during the dot-com boom, that she’d get rich off of running what was in effect her own fan site. You can see how well that worked out.
Dr.KennethNoisewater:
January 3rd, 2013 at 11:22 am
So it’s safe to assume most of you are not getting ads for nail polish and home design?
What about the big-boob t-shirt girls?
Murc:
January 3rd, 2013 at 11:24 am
While I cannot argue with most of your other points, I don’t know what Sullivan being an englishman has to do with the price of tea in China.
The problem with his odious fifth column comments back in the day was that they were odious. They can’t be made more or less odious depending on the national origin of the person uttering them, nor are foreigners given less of a right to comment on the US simply because they weren’t born here. Plenty of foreigners have written scathing, and accurate, indictments of the loyalty of various US persons.
RhZ:
January 3rd, 2013 at 11:38 am
Call me a bigot then. I take it more seriously when it comes from a foreigner. He is certainly vile no matter what his documentation is.
But still, you forgive him don’t you? That’s so very sad…
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:02 pm
That’s a feature, not a bug.
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Don’t listen to his lies. We’ve already hit Peak LaPierre! It’s all downhill from here!
J. Otto Pohl:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:28 pm
The William Gibson novel of course. In fact the internet cafe looks like something out of a 1980s science fiction novel.
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:33 pm
Well, let’s not be so hasty. Is this cafe frequented by taxi drivers?
J. Otto Pohl:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:39 pm
No, I do a lot of things for free. But, a war with CT would require monetary compensation. There is just no mileage for an historian to attack an economist and a political scientist. I need to attack somebody else with a history degree to make any type of name for self that is worth anything.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:41 pm
It is problem 1344 on my list of worries.
RhZ:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Now see I am a dude in Asia, and often I get this matchmaker ad with a bunch of dudes in it! I’m like, get your marketing straight you knuckleheads!
I would love the big-boob t-shirt girl ads, but alas they are but a myth to me.
Still, I have SunAnt. mke, wi!
J. Otto Pohl:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm
I don’t need to fight them over there. I could put up a blog post on my blog every day that Professor DeLong made a money transfer into my account.
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm
As it were…
And is SunAnt actually HQ’ed in Milwaukee? I guess I always assumed it was just localizing to me. Weird.
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Well, 262 area code so “Greater Milwaukee”.
In related news, why doesn’t the Census Bureau ever return my calls when I ask them to reclassify Chicago as a suburb of the Milwaukee MSA?
RhZ:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:34 pm
Brad won’t ‘forgive’ Sully but then tells everyone to pony up (literally, he said pony up).
His commenters were not in agreement.
Thanks Brad for your commitment to the articles of faith of progressiv….I mean reasonable insider centrists who always support one another, but play-fight for the unwashed masses. God forbid you won’t forgive him.
RhZ:
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:41 pm
I would totally buy a shirt with Sully’s big bald head…on a stick!
But only if it said in large letters fuck andrew sullivan running on the back.
xaaronx:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:38 pm
I am only mildly embarrassed to admit that I really like the one with the redhead. I think she and I really have a connection.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 3rd, 2013 at 3:08 pm
No, it is frequented by university students.
mds:
January 3rd, 2013 at 3:36 pm
“Gingerly, Cayce flipped the supple calfskin cover back from the brushed aluminum and smudged glass front of the iPad provided to her by Blue Ant once she arrived in Ghana. The wifi signal indicator remained resolutely empty. So much for avoiding crowds by discreetly mooching internet access. Oh well, she also needed caffeine. Sighing, she hitched her Muji bag more firmly over the shoulder of her Buzz Rickson’s MA-1 flight jacket, and made her way into the residence hall. She pushed past a gaggle of students with cryptically-labeled badminton gear in the lobby and ascended the stairs to the internet cafe, pausing briefly to politely decline the offer of a dissertation from a somewhat rumpled scholarly-looking Westerner.”
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 4:28 pm
What’s #1343?
RedSquareBear:
January 3rd, 2013 at 4:29 pm
My condolences.
Halloween Jack:
January 3rd, 2013 at 5:10 pm
I get them on other sites (I’ve got a teensy crush on the redheaded Snorg model), but right now LGM is featuring a bald dude rockin’ a hoodie in an ad captioned, “Jesus Christ is Lord [space] Christian & Single?” a) Not my bag any more and b) ditto.
LosGatosCA:
January 4th, 2013 at 1:17 am
You mean taxi drivers in training.
Zoltar the Magnificent:
January 4th, 2013 at 1:27 am
You should make a donation to the graduate English department at University of Florida. Donation does not guarantee non-douchy vocalists.
LosGatosCA:
January 4th, 2013 at 1:58 am
Assholes will be assholes, no need to provide an audience for their assholery. The Kid from Brooklyn, or some like guy, at one point was pulling in somewhere near $250k a month just to hear/see him act like
the drunk guy at the corner bar with a Mister Microphonea poor man’s Donald Trump.The Nigerian thing has run it’s course, now it’s pay wall time for the suckers.
J. Otto Pohl:
January 4th, 2013 at 10:12 am
How did you know about the badminton gear?