Things on the internet
[Edit: Potentially disturbing photo moved below the fold out of deference to the delicate sensibilities of the LGM readership. Note the effect is, to quote Woolsey, J., more likely to be an emetic than an aphrodisiac, NTTAWWT]
(1) I’m tempted to ask SEK for a semiotic analysis of this:
(2) Be very careful if you use Google Image to try to find a photo via the query “Guy in underwear with gun.”
c u n d gulag:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Thank for reminding me – I need some Brillo pads after having baked a big fat ham a couple of nights ago.
Charlie Sweatpants:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Leave it to you liberal thugs to demonize a man for posing with his Guitar Hero guitar.
rea:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
On the internet, no one know you are really a dog . . .
Hogan:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:54 pm
It’s been fun, everyone. I’ll be back when this post is off the front page.
Malaclypse:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Seriously. The last thing this blog needs is a picture of JenBob up on the front page.
Law Spider:
December 26th, 2012 at 2:59 pm
THIS picture is precisely the type of item for which “under the fold” was (or should have been) developed.
STH:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:00 pm
What I want to know is whether he was looking for a man or a woman, ’cause I can’t figure out who in the hell that picture is supposed to appeal to. Am I (a woman) supposed to get all tingly about seeing a man about to shoot himself in the foot?
Mister Harvest:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
“Athletic.” You keep using that word…
Substance McGravitas:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Hmm, I remember him. The Poor Man or Sadly, No!
Titles came later I think.
rea:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Not only that, but if you look along the edges of his underware, you’ll see he has a bad case of diaper rash . . .
Karen:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
ARRRRRGHHH!! I looked where you said, now my eyes have melted from the horror. For the love of humanity NEVER look!
Origami Isopod:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Oh, you’re just seeing that one for the first time, huh? It’s an oldie.
thebewilderness:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Unless you know that the person shared the pic the the whole wide interwebs themselves I take a dim view of posting pics to shame and humiliate the target. It has become a very serious problem for the very young who may only be goofing around when trusting someone unworthy of trust and next thing they know they are targeted.
This was not well though out. I hope you rethink it.
ScottRS:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
That’s not JenBob??
thebewilderness:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I would imagine he was doing it to please the person taking the picture, as so many people do.
Jberardi:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:15 pm
So, uhh…. he’s ransoming his junk, then?
I hope his demands aren’t too high…
Woodrowfan:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:17 pm
I think it’s our new resident troll…
rea:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Poe’s Law strikes again . . .
Jberardi:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
You know what else is a serious problem? When people who don’t have the basis sense to keep their hairy twats off teh Google are allowed to own MANY DEADLY FIREARMS.
STH:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I assumed it was for an online dating site, but maybe that was a bad assumption.
CaptBackslap:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:37 pm
Pun intended, I assume?
Philip:
December 26th, 2012 at 3:45 pm
This would be a valid point if the picture were actually of one of those kids.
lightbulbout:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
this is somethingawful.com forums poster Micromancer. he is one crazy guy. there are more pictures from the series.
Leeds man:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Could be a baseball player, or a football lineman.
Sherm:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I just knew that this comment would be made.
Sherm:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:17 pm
What’s his BMI?
KLG:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
If he’s not careful he could leave that room half-cocked.
GFW:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Ewww.
cpinva:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:24 pm
i assumed the same thing, though which particular one remains a mystery.
Jay C:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Umm, should we assume that “foot” is meant to be a euphemism??
repsac3 ("'Foot' [more like 4 inches, prolly]...on a stick"):
December 26th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
“Don’t move, or this dickhead gets it.”
actor212:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Wow. David Gregory dyed his hair?
FLRealist:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:40 pm
As a woman, I’m going, “ewwwwwwww.” Your miles may vary.
FLRealist:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Yeah. I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.
FLRealist:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
No. More. Pictures. Allowed.
ignobility:
December 26th, 2012 at 4:44 pm
He’ll shoot his balls off! He’ll shoot his balls off!
LeeEsq:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Looks more like a bear to me.
Incontinentia Buttocks:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Win
misfire:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:10 pm
You just know he jacked it having a gun fantasy two minutes after that photo was taken.
Anonymous:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Darts, perhaps?
Rhino:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Dart snark was me
Leeds man:
December 26th, 2012 at 5:57 pm
With the Klingon hairstyle, yes.
brandon:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I wasn’t quite sure I respected Russell Brand as an actor, but damn if he isn’t doing the legwork to get into that role.
Sharon:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
This
DrDick:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Actually somewhat better looking than I thought.
DrDick:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:42 pm
As a human being, I am going “Yuck!!”
DrDick:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
On steroids.
DrDick:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
What balls?
DocAmazing:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:46 pm
You can tell he’s thinking “If this doesn’t get my place into Architectural Digest, nothing will.”
ChrisTS:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Triple EWW.
ChrisTS:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:51 pm
God, I know. Curse mine eyes!
ChrisTS:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Depends on his aim, I guess.
ChrisTS:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
There really should be some internets-wide system of flagging.
ChrisTS:
December 26th, 2012 at 6:56 pm
I’m still struggling with ’23.’
Kurzleg:
December 26th, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Game-changing steroids.
Maureen O'Danu:
December 26th, 2012 at 7:24 pm
The angle. OMG. It looks like he’s holding his penis hostage ‘date me or I’ll shoot it off’. Poor thing. Judging from the evidence, unless he’s a very good shot, he’ll miss. The target is VERY small.
STH:
December 26th, 2012 at 7:52 pm
I agree that it’s out of bounds to shame somebody for his or her looks, and I do my best to avoid it. What I’m talking about–and I do consider more justifiable–is the pose and the implication that posing with your gun collection is somehow sexy.
Davis X. Machina:
December 26th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Hugo Black could only have the position he had on the First Amendment because he didn’t have a chance to see that picture.
parsimon:
December 26th, 2012 at 8:14 pm
Is the “23/Male/Athletic/Successful” actually original to the picture?
greylocks:
December 26th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Then there’s the bed.
Bill Cross:
December 26th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
shooting events are in the Olympics
Pastor Tobin Maker D.D:
December 26th, 2012 at 9:20 pm
Russell Brand has really let himself go.
rea:
December 26th, 2012 at 9:33 pm
There are certain aspects of the guy’s online persona that lead me to suspect him of
being a black fly in our chardonneyironic intent.STH:
December 26th, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Under the bus.
Lancelot Link:
December 26th, 2012 at 10:50 pm
Okay, here you go; by request, MORE PICTURES!
Phoenix Rising:
December 26th, 2012 at 10:55 pm
And he’s ready for the pentathlon too. Sponsored by Lady Godiva.
Snarki, child of Loki:
December 26th, 2012 at 11:01 pm
I think you’re right about that. That thought dredges up loads of muck from the thankfully-forgotten earlier eras of the intertubes.
Whatever you do NEVER google for “Spanky the Clown”
Timb:
December 26th, 2012 at 11:38 pm
Yay, Brandon. Just wonderful
Anonymous:
December 27th, 2012 at 2:45 am
I agree with this comment. Apart from the gun fetish, what exactly did this dude do to deserve creepy fat-shaming bullying? Hetero male commenters feigning exaggerated outraged disgust at other men’s bodies is fucking gross and homophobic, dudes.
Anonymous:
December 27th, 2012 at 2:48 am
Whenever thebewilderness–a fairly regular commenter here–posts something the least bit dissenting, she’s called a poe or a troll. Pay attention, please.
Manju:
December 27th, 2012 at 3:05 am
Puh-leeze. Just a few days ago you guys were begging to see his head on a stick.
montag2:
December 27th, 2012 at 3:06 am
I suspect so. Successful is misspelled.
herr doktor bimler:
December 27th, 2012 at 3:55 am
IIRC correctly they were featured by The Editors several years ago or last Tuesday.
John Protevi:
December 27th, 2012 at 6:23 am
You really do have some good ones at times, Manju. + 1
witless chum:
December 27th, 2012 at 8:44 am
Double fucking this. I really don’t get grossed out by the big, naked hairy dude. I see something similar, though with a more socially acceptable hairstyle, in the mirror every morning.
Do people really mean it, or is it performative? Like the guys who will turn out to say a slightly chubby celebrity woman they’d crawl across glass to fuck in real life is “eww, gross, dudez?” I never know if they really mean it or if they just say shit because they think they’re supposed to say it. I cut out saying shit like that around age 20, but I’m never sure if I’m actually experiencing things differently or if I’m just more honest.
Slocum:
December 27th, 2012 at 8:46 am
At least he has a ready, lifetime supply of cheese.
witless chum:
December 27th, 2012 at 8:46 am
+2
witless chum:
December 27th, 2012 at 8:53 am
Is like being in high school, when I determined my far flung hometown was precisely two years behind the more fashionable portions of the state by questioning the other attendees at a nerdcamp about when they’d last tight rolled their jeans? If we get this picture now, when will Campos post other years old Internet things?
I’m looking forward to clicking on a law school corruption link and finding myself Rickrolled.
Halloween Jack:
December 27th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
As noted below, the subject is a Something Awful goon that goes by the name Micromancer who has deliberately posted more risible pictures than this of himself. If you can’t fit that into your worldview, I’m sure that there’s a circus with a sad clown that you can lecture about how they’re making money off of someone’s grief.
Anonymous:
December 27th, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Oh, dude. It fits my worldview just fine. Men intent on proving publicly their het credentials are the ones with a problem. Obviously.
The fact that Micro’s one their side makes this display all the more pathetic.
Anonymous:
December 27th, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Neither me, but I suspect the latter. Stating dumb and largely subjective opinions loudly and as if they’re factual is sort of the default mode for some men. Gawking at Uglies is part of that sport.
Plus, it would blow a lot of these dudes’ brains to realize that many heterosexual women would find this man (silly pose and guns aside but ‘do included) attractive. Which is why stuff like this is slightly bothersome in the first place; denying the existence of female desire as broad and as strange (to some) as male desire.
Anonymous:
December 27th, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Here’s fun: a photograph of a perfectly normal male body elicits from the commentariat disproportionately camp and theatrical expressions of revulsion, but I’m the one acting too sensitive. Hilarious.