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Things on the internet

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[Edit: Potentially disturbing photo moved below the fold out of deference to the delicate sensibilities of the LGM readership. Note the effect is, to quote Woolsey, J., more likely to be an emetic than an aphrodisiac, NTTAWWT]

(1) I’m tempted to ask SEK for a semiotic analysis of this:

yikes

(2) Be very careful if you use Google Image to try to find a photo via the query “Guy in underwear with gun.”

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  • c u n d gulag

    Thank for reminding me – I need some Brillo pads after having baked a big fat ham a couple of nights ago.

  • Leave it to you liberal thugs to demonize a man for posing with his Guitar Hero guitar.

  • rea

    On the internet, no one know you are really a dog . . .

    • LeeEsq

      Looks more like a bear to me.

  • Hogan

    It’s been fun, everyone. I’ll be back when this post is off the front page.

    • Malaclypse

      Seriously. The last thing this blog needs is a picture of JenBob up on the front page.

      • ScottRS

        That’s not JenBob??

        • Woodrowfan

          I think it’s our new resident troll…

      • Sherm

        I just knew that this comment would be made.

      • DrDick

        Actually somewhat better looking than I thought.

  • Law Spider

    THIS picture is precisely the type of item for which “under the fold” was (or should have been) developed.

    • CaptBackslap

      Pun intended, I assume?

      • GFW

        Ewww.

        • ChrisTS

          Triple EWW.

      • Slocum

        At least he has a ready, lifetime supply of cheese.

  • STH

    What I want to know is whether he was looking for a man or a woman, ’cause I can’t figure out who in the hell that picture is supposed to appeal to. Am I (a woman) supposed to get all tingly about seeing a man about to shoot himself in the foot?

    • thebewilderness

      I would imagine he was doing it to please the person taking the picture, as so many people do.

      • STH

        I assumed it was for an online dating site, but maybe that was a bad assumption.

        • cpinva

          i assumed the same thing, though which particular one remains a mystery.

          I assumed it was for an online dating site, but maybe that was a bad assumption.

    • Jay C

      Umm, should we assume that “foot” is meant to be a euphemism??

    • FLRealist

      As a woman, I’m going, “ewwwwwwww.” Your miles may vary.

      • DrDick

        As a human being, I am going “Yuck!!”

  • Mister Harvest

    “Athletic.” You keep using that word…

    • rea

      Not only that, but if you look along the edges of his underware, you’ll see he has a bad case of diaper rash . . .

      • Karen

        ARRRRRGHHH!! I looked where you said, now my eyes have melted from the horror. For the love of humanity NEVER look!

        • ChrisTS

          God, I know. Curse mine eyes!

    • Leeds man

      Could be a baseball player, or a football lineman.

      • Anonymous

        Darts, perhaps?

        • Rhino

          Dart snark was me

        • Leeds man

          With the Klingon hairstyle, yes.

    • FLRealist

      Yeah. I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

    • ChrisTS

      I’m still struggling with ’23.’

    • Bill Cross

      shooting events are in the Olympics

      • Phoenix Rising

        And he’s ready for the pentathlon too. Sponsored by Lady Godiva.

  • Hmm, I remember him. The Poor Man or Sadly, No!

    Titles came later I think.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      I think you’re right about that. That thought dredges up loads of muck from the thankfully-forgotten earlier eras of the intertubes.

      Whatever you do NEVER google for “Spanky the Clown”

  • Origami Isopod

    Oh, you’re just seeing that one for the first time, huh? It’s an oldie.

  • thebewilderness

    Unless you know that the person shared the pic the the whole wide interwebs themselves I take a dim view of posting pics to shame and humiliate the target. It has become a very serious problem for the very young who may only be goofing around when trusting someone unworthy of trust and next thing they know they are targeted.
    This was not well though out. I hope you rethink it.

    • rea

      Poe’s Law strikes again . . .

      • ChrisTS

        There really should be some internets-wide system of flagging.

      • Anonymous

        Whenever thebewilderness–a fairly regular commenter here–posts something the least bit dissenting, she’s called a poe or a troll. Pay attention, please.

    • Jberardi

      It has become a very serious problem for the very young who may only be goofing around when trusting someone unworthy of trust and next thing they know they are targeted.

      You know what else is a serious problem? When people who don’t have the basis sense to keep their hairy twats off teh Google are allowed to own MANY DEADLY FIREARMS.

    • Philip

      This would be a valid point if the picture were actually of one of those kids.

    • STH

      I agree that it’s out of bounds to shame somebody for his or her looks, and I do my best to avoid it. What I’m talking about–and I do consider more justifiable–is the pose and the implication that posing with your gun collection is somehow sexy.

    • Anonymous

      I agree with this comment. Apart from the gun fetish, what exactly did this dude do to deserve creepy fat-shaming bullying? Hetero male commenters feigning exaggerated outraged disgust at other men’s bodies is fucking gross and homophobic, dudes.

      • witless chum

        Double fucking this. I really don’t get grossed out by the big, naked hairy dude. I see something similar, though with a more socially acceptable hairstyle, in the mirror every morning.

        Do people really mean it, or is it performative? Like the guys who will turn out to say a slightly chubby celebrity woman they’d crawl across glass to fuck in real life is “eww, gross, dudez?” I never know if they really mean it or if they just say shit because they think they’re supposed to say it. I cut out saying shit like that around age 20, but I’m never sure if I’m actually experiencing things differently or if I’m just more honest.

        • Anonymous

          I never know if they really mean it or if they just say shit because they think they’re supposed to say it.

          Neither me, but I suspect the latter. Stating dumb and largely subjective opinions loudly and as if they’re factual is sort of the default mode for some men. Gawking at Uglies is part of that sport.

          Plus, it would blow a lot of these dudes’ brains to realize that many heterosexual women would find this man (silly pose and guns aside but ‘do included) attractive. Which is why stuff like this is slightly bothersome in the first place; denying the existence of female desire as broad and as strange (to some) as male desire.

      • Halloween Jack

        As noted below, the subject is a Something Awful goon that goes by the name Micromancer who has deliberately posted more risible pictures than this of himself. If you can’t fit that into your worldview, I’m sure that there’s a circus with a sad clown that you can lecture about how they’re making money off of someone’s grief.

        • Anonymous

          Oh, dude. It fits my worldview just fine. Men intent on proving publicly their het credentials are the ones with a problem. Obviously.

          The fact that Micro’s one their side makes this display all the more pathetic.

        • Anonymous

          Here’s fun: a photograph of a perfectly normal male body elicits from the commentariat disproportionately camp and theatrical expressions of revulsion, but I’m the one acting too sensitive. Hilarious.

  • Jberardi

    So, uhh…. he’s ransoming his junk, then?

    I hope his demands aren’t too high…

  • lightbulbout

    this is somethingawful.com forums poster Micromancer. he is one crazy guy. there are more pictures from the series.

    • FLRealist

      No. More. Pictures. Allowed.

      • Sharon

        This

        • DrDick

          On steroids.

          • Kurzleg

            Game-changing steroids.

            • STH

              Under the bus.

      • Lancelot Link

        Okay, here you go; by request, MORE PICTURES!

    • rea

      There are certain aspects of the guy’s online persona that lead me to suspect him of being a black fly in our chardonney ironic intent.

    • herr doktor bimler

      IIRC correctly they were featured by The Editors several years ago or last Tuesday.

  • Sherm

    What’s his BMI?

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      Win

  • KLG

    If he’s not careful he could leave that room half-cocked.

  • Wow. David Gregory dyed his hair?

  • ignobility

    He’ll shoot his balls off! He’ll shoot his balls off!

    • DrDick

      What balls?

  • misfire

    You just know he jacked it having a gun fantasy two minutes after that photo was taken.

  • brandon

    I wasn’t quite sure I respected Russell Brand as an actor, but damn if he isn’t doing the legwork to get into that role.

    • Timb

      Yay, Brandon. Just wonderful

  • DocAmazing

    You can tell he’s thinking “If this doesn’t get my place into Architectural Digest, nothing will.”

  • The angle. OMG. It looks like he’s holding his penis hostage ‘date me or I’ll shoot it off’. Poor thing. Judging from the evidence, unless he’s a very good shot, he’ll miss. The target is VERY small.

  • Davis X. Machina

    Hugo Black could only have the position he had on the First Amendment because he didn’t have a chance to see that picture.

  • parsimon

    Is the “23/Male/Athletic/Successful” actually original to the picture?

    • montag2

      I suspect so. Successful is misspelled.

  • greylocks

    Then there’s the bed.

  • Pastor Tobin Maker D.D

    Russell Brand has really let himself go.

  • Manju

    Puh-leeze. Just a few days ago you guys were begging to see his head on a stick.

    • John Protevi

      You really do have some good ones at times, Manju. + 1

    • witless chum

      +2

  • witless chum

    Is like being in high school, when I determined my far flung hometown was precisely two years behind the more fashionable portions of the state by questioning the other attendees at a nerdcamp about when they’d last tight rolled their jeans? If we get this picture now, when will Campos post other years old Internet things?

    I’m looking forward to clicking on a law school corruption link and finding myself Rickrolled.

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