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The Dark UN Conspiracy Takes Another Hero

[ 98 ] December 4, 2012 |

Thank God (thank HIM!!!!!!!) for Georgia Senate Majority Leader Chip Rogers, who is willing to stand up against Satan’s grand strategy to use his minions (the United Nations) to destroy this great nation through such horrors as urban planning. In October, Rogers led his peers to hear a speaker at the state capitol building railing against the dark conspiracy known as Agenda 21, a nonbinding, voluntary UN action plan in favor of sustainable development. I’ve never heard of such a threat to the United States and God’s plan for us to develop the nation’s resources to generate profits for wealthy white people who can then store their riches offshore in the Cayman Islands.

Satan takes his pound of flesh though (though given Satan’s nefarious agenda, he probably prefers organic, locally-produced flesh. Not to mention a kilogram of flesh instead of a pound) and Rogers is now “resigning” from the Georgia Senate to “spend more time with his family.” Can we Christians take a few minutes away from building more suburban developments in wetlands to rescue our hero? Don’t you know that “spending more time with his family” is a euphemism for “sustainable, walking cities?” My god, there might be black people in those places! And not every store would have a parking lot the size of Rhode Island! Can you imagine the horror? If we don’t save him now, will Satan take him to the never before known 20th Circle of Hell–making him an employee of an NGO working with indigenous people to save their lands from oil development?

Comments (98)

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  1. Isn’t Sen.-elect Ted Cruz an Agenda 21-er too?

    Also, read something today about how Herman Cain could win in a primary challenge in Georgia. How amazing would that be!

    • Erik Loomis says:

      Ted Cruz is going to be a joy in the Senate.

      • Warren Terra says:

        Don’t count on it. I mean, I hope you’re right, but from what I’ve read of him he’s smart, educated, and very, very ambitious – quite possibly enough so to tone down the crazy that’s gotten him this far, in service of his larger goals.

        See also Rand Paul, who has excellent Loonie credentials but seems to be aiming for a long and possibly nondescript career.

        • I don’t like Rand Paul personally, and his philosophy is ugly and downright troubling, like his dad’s. But damn if he’s good for a few things (like his dad) that an ordinary Kentucky Republican certainly wouldn’t be. Jim Bunning wouldn’t have tried to filibuster the PATRIOT Act or opposed the use of force in Libya. Honestly, if Ted Cruz were half as good on civil liberties and foreign policy as Paul fils, he’d exceed my expectations. But in reality, this guy is a careerist Republican pretending to be a Tea Party guy, Marco Rubio redux.

        • STH says:

          He doesn’t seem super-popular with the libertarian crowd–he seems a bit more moderate than this dad. Not that his dad is all that committed of a libertarian. It always amazes me, these “principled” libertarians who want to make abortion illegal. The contradiction never seems to hit them.

  2. c u n d gulag says:

    And here I thought “Hiking the Appalachian trail,” was the new euphamism for having an affair, and had taken the place of ‘wanting to spend more time with his family?”

    So, is it because of an affair?
    Bribery or corruption charges?
    A dead male hooker with this guy’s DNA on body parts where they shouldn’t have his DNA?

    I’ll check in later after I go to the store – I’m all out of popcorn.

  3. This post is all kinds of awesome.

    “Spend more time with his family lawyer.”

  4. Todd says:

    And while we’re at it, what about this other voluntary U.N. resolution regarding Palestine?

    I saw a lot more black delegates voting that day on the floor of the U.N. than I had ever seen there before. I’m not saying “fraud”, I’m just saying I’d never seen some of these people before. Where did they come from, the woods?

    I’d call for a delegate investigation, but who would lead it for us, Susan Rice?

    Never mind.

  5. J.W. Hamner says:

    So I can see how Agenda 21 could be used for the construction of the NAFTA super highway, but I’m a little confused as to where the Amero will come into play.

  6. thusbloggedanderson says:

    In related news, the UN plot to protect the disabled has been rejected by the vigilance of Senate Republicans, defending liberty against its disabled enemies!

    As the parent of a disabled child myself, I confess to some curiosity what Sarah Palin said about this treaty, but I might lose my lunch if I googled that up.

  7. J. Otto Pohl says:

    I just finished copy editing a report for a UN agency. Initially I volunteered to do it for $1000, but they told me they could not pay me that little and had to pay me $1500. The report was on local governance (municipalities) so it was sort of distantly related to urban planning. I am sure you will now all become radically anti-UN now that you know I do contract work for them.

  8. Davis X. Machina says:

    Don’t forget the manatees. Everyone’s got their eye on the laser-equipped dolphins, while the manatees are the real threat.

  9. Joe says:

    Meanwhile, in evil UN action and true patriots preventing it …

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/12/republicans-un-treaty-disabled.php

    Damn disabled!

  10. Stiv says:

    Hard to fathom, but he’s resigned his seat to go work for georgia public broadcasting. I can’t believe these guys, now hes also disavowing the agenda 21 seminar, says “don’t shoot me , I’m, only the messenger”.

    Takes his policy positions advice from Mitt.

    • Halloween Jack says:

      Really? If he thinks that Agenda 21 is some scary liberal shit, wait until he arrives at Comrade Keillor’s re-education camp at Lake Wobegon for “management orientation”.

    • Matt says:

      He’s been recruited by Mittens for a top-sekrit suicide mission against Big Bird.

    • jackd says:

      There was an interview with Rogers on the Atlanta public radio station this week. The way he described his new position is so vague – no definite duties or functions, pay not settled – that I really had to wonder what’s going on. My guess is that he got offered a choice between this yet-to-be-defined job and something worse, i.e. getting kicked out of the state senate leadership altogether. Or maybe he called in some favors after seeing the handwriting on the wall.

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