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Since Irony’s Corpse Has Been Desecrated Again, Why Not Logic’s Too?

[ 114 ] December 19, 2012 |

Ever the optimist, I figured the McArdle was simply unbeatable in the “jaw-dropping winger reactions to Newtown” sweepstakes. But never end a competition until the NRO has spoken! Charlotte Allen has now lapped the field. (“Weak, passive women administrators would never resist a shooter. Except that at least two did and got mowed down, although McArdle would note that they didn’t have a SWAT team of unarmed first graders with them. Anyway, this is all central to my point.“)

You will recall Allen from her Washington Post featured column, “wimmens is stupid.” Not women, Charlotte….

…Ms Allen actually drops into the comments Chez Pierce.

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  1. Malaclypse says:

    There is not now, and never will be, a Peak Stupid.

  2. MAJeff says:

    Charlotte Allen is also part of the “HPV vaccine will turn wimmens into whores” brigade of Ladies Against Women.

    • MAJeff says:

      As I recall, her “Independent Women’s Forum” was also concerned that the development of an HIV vaccine would encourage promiscuousness, so they’d have to think long and hard about supporting HIV vaccination.

  3. Todd says:

    I’ve come to picture people like this as standing up in a movie theatre during the closing credits of “Starship Troopers” with a raised white-gloved fist and bowed head.

  4. wengler says:

    Recent evidence is rather conclusive that former football players aren’t immune to bullets. And Loomis is the one that has to fear for his job?

  5. BigHank53 says:

    In the days to come, I look forward to hearing about how the Newtown shooting was caused by legalized abortion, unwed mothers, inner-city crack babies, state-mandated sex-ed classes, the removal of publicly-funded Nativity scenes, birth-control pills, no-fault divorce, premarital sex, the Warren court, communism, fiat currency, zip codes, and gay marriage.

  6. laura says:

    Last time we heard from Allen, she was advocating for a Sarah Palin 2016 run managed by Kevin Dujan. I think she must be a performance artist trying to figure out the dumbest thing one can write and still get published as a “conservative”.

    Also, the first comment on the Allen post at NRO is ace.

  7. Warren Terra says:

    You will recall Allen from her Washington Post featured column, “wimmens is stupid.” Not women, Charlotte….

    It’s always dangerous to interpret from too small a sample, no matter how thoroughly you know that sample. In this case, she had a single subject,one she’d been studying all her life, often getting a view deep inside the subject through advanced cranio-rectal inversion

  8. rea says:

    Could these iddiots pleae stop talking about the necessity of schoolchildren rushing the killer? As someone with a very good-hearted, brave 13-year-old grandson, it makes me sick to my stomach.

    • Anonymous says:

      As someone who actually was in a random situation in which a loaded weapon was pointed her and fired, and who, in all honesty, reacted much the same way that a deer standing in quick drying cement with a car bearing down on her would have, these “suggestions” make me so angry that, if I were a different person, I would approach these morons with a loaded weapon and dare them to rush me.

      But I’m not that person and I’m not going to do that, so fuck all of you gun fetishists and your false equivalencies and pearl clutching.

      “Husky 12 year olds” my ass.

      • thebewilderness says:

        A moments research would have revealed that the school goes to fourth grade and so the oldest children would be ten. But why bother when the subject is just crying out for janitors with mop buckets.

      • someone who actually was in a random situation in which a loaded weapon was pointed her and fired, and who, in all honesty, reacted much the same way that a deer standing in quick drying cement with a car bearing down on her would have

        This, btw, is the normal human response. In order for a human being not to react that way, you have to subject him to extensive, specialized training. To actually get 12-year-olds ready and able to do that at a moment’s notice would require hours of training, day in and day out, for weeks.

        • Rob says:

          PSHAW! A few viewings of Red Dawn is all that it takes! You would have thought the US Army would have figured out the cost savings from that years ago!

        • Leeds man says:

          To actually get 12-year-olds ready and able to do that at a moment’s notice would require hours of training, day in and day out, for weeks.

          With inevitable long term negative consequences.

          • I’d also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly

            We’re going to drill it into kids in school to do this. Really drill it. Gotta start young, obviously.

          • Jeremy says:

            Well, if the US does decide to go the route of Sparta, I, for one, plan to enjoy all the gay sex that it entails.

        • Anonymous says:

          Precisely. I am astonished, humbled, awed, gobsmacked, moved beyond words by the bravery those women displayed in this situation. I’m probably moved even more than most because I have actually have scars from my own experience with random gun violence and the memories of how I reacted in the face of overwhelming fear.

          To read nonsense about how a male janitor with mop buckets and husky 12 year old boys were all that was needed to prevent this tragedy….I can’t even.

        • Anticorium says:

          To actually get 12-year-olds ready and able to do that at a moment’s notice would require hours of training, day in and day out, for weeks.

          Joseph Kony could make a pretty fat dime as a consultant in Tennessee if he ever got tired of being an invincible warlord.

        • beat says:

          It can also be the initial reaction even for those trained for such situations. I was once stabbed by a homeless guy and my first reaction was to step back and my second was “shit.” It was my partner who subdued the guy. It was not my first rodeo and yet I was caught completely by surprise.

          • Speak Truth says:

            Yes, I once had my head blown off by a 12 gage shotgun after unexpectedly disrupting a drug deal going down at the state department.
            After driving myself to the hospital which was about an hour away (traffic) I gave myself a blood transfusion since there was no attending physician on call.
            A gun wouldn’t have helped at all. I would have just hurt some innocent drug dealer with a shotgun.

      • Jameson Quinn says:

        I’ve had my tire shot out, and been tied up by a potential lynch mob whose first language I didn’t speak, and in neither case do I recall feeling anything I can call “fear”. Aside from that, I’ve twice had someone pull a gun on me, and not backed down in either case, though what was at stake was less than trivial. I’ve thrown myself in front of a bus and, when that didn’t make it stop, escalated by sitting down; leaving my 4-year-old daughter alone on the sidewalk; simply to prevent the bus from going the wrong way down a 1-way-street. And every one of these examples is something I would strongly advise anyone else to avoid and to handle differently than I did.

        I honestly believe that I would rush a gunman, that’s just how I am. And I’m not proud of it; it would just get me stupidly killed, and I would do better to help get others to safety.

  9. Warren Terra says:

    I suppose the slightly comforting thing is that Allen is getting shellacked in the comments, where it is repeatedly pointed out to her that her supposed facts were almost all mistaken (there were adult male staff on campus, there weren’t any 12-year-olds, and you should never bring a bucket to an assault-weapon fight). To be sure, I don’t think any of the commenters are supporters of the National Review, but in any case the supporters mostly aren’t trying to defend Allen’s nonsense.

  10. John Protevi says:

    Oddly enough, I highly recommend a visit to the NRO site to read the comments (set them to “oldest first”). They quickly and emphatically put out all the many, many factually errors and logical fallacies of Allen’s column.

    • dl says:

      This one was great (I didn’t think of it as I read, but I should have):

      padfoot • 11 hours ago

      LOL for Ms. Allen’s remark that we have to keep our troubled kids from getting into our cache of weapons and that we need to show them the door. Lord knows that if the choice is between the child and the guns, the kid has to go.

      • STH says:

        That part of the column was particularly weird to me (and I only read the parts of the column that were quoted on ThinkProgress.com). Yeah, she’s got the usual “women are weak and useless” shit, but then she just mentions as an aside that you can’t leave an unemployed young man alone with guns or he’ll go postal. What the fuck was that? I can’t decide which sex she has more contempt for.

  11. Stephen Frug says:

    Hey, Scott, I told you you were underestimating conservatives.

  12. Major Kong says:

    If only we’d had men in the Army during WWII….

  13. xxy says:

    Mythbusters should do an episode on mass shootings so that every time someone suggests anything like arming teachers or rushing the shooter we can point them to a nice visual of how dead anyone attempting heroics would quickly become.

  14. Major Kong says:

    Charging the shooter worked so well at Verdun, the Somme, and Gallipoli….

  15. charles pierce says:

    Scott – CA her own self stopped by my joint to chat with the commenters. Hilarity ensues!
    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/charlotte-allen-newtown-shooting-comments-121912

    • Nick056 says:

      Yikes!

      ” Men, thanks to testosterone and probably brain configuration, are bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women. They also have built-in strategic ability, thanks to their superior facility at maneuvering three-dimensional objects inside their head. They can disarm enemies in combat. Adam Lanza (you’ve seen his photos) was a skinny20-year-old twerp who happened to have a gun. A reasonably mesomorphic man a few years older in reasonable shape could have tackled him. Two such men could have put a quick end to his rampage.”

    • laura says:

      I must be configured for the wrong comments (when I click the link I get fb comments) because what I found was CA talking about her experience with an attempted rapist in her 20s. I *don’t* want to be in the position of defending such a misogynistic tool, but her comment is roughly the opposite of “hilarity ensues”.

      • swoof says:

        Click the link that says “View 39 more” a couple comments down from her initial comment.

      • laura says:

        Thanks to swoof for directing me to the rest of her comments which are all very objectionable to one degree or another. I’m still a little disconcerted by the idea that “hilarity ensues” from a person remembering being attacked by a would-be rapist in her 20s, regardless of how dumb/reactionary she is in her 40s/50s.

        • Anonymous says:

          Thank you for pointing that out, laura.

        • Darkrose says:

          After reading her comment that rape is worse than death, I don’t really have it in me to snark. I do wish that she’d take the “Stanford University” out of her profile, though. It’s embarrassing.

        • Timb says:

          Hilarity DID ensue, but it got a very slow start

          • spencer says:

            Yeah, her rape comment is obviously not funny. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone, and even though I detest what she stands for and what she spends her life doing, I’m glad she didn’t actually get raped.

            But *after* that, when she doubles and then triples down on Teh Stoopid of her column? Now THAT’S funny.

            • STH says:

              And I don’t get how these things are supposed to work. You try to support your statement of how “weak and helpless” women are by telling a story of you preventing a rape? It’s the Phyllis Schlafly contradiction: how is a woman making a career out of telling other women they’re stupid and weak and should keep quiet, go home and raise babies?

  16. Dan says:

    I almost feel bad for these people. Trying to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve hurting their precious, precious guns, and then creating some “logical” justification for it has got to be some hard work.

  17. Glenn says:

    I think this all goes back to the “Duck and Cover” films in the 50′s. If only schoolchildren had been taught to gang rush Soviet ICBMs, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

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