Beats telling people that you’re Jewish
SEK spies an OLD LADY being crushed by the Christmas tree she’s trying to remove from the roof of her car.
SEK: Do you need some help with that?
OLD LADY: Yes, some would be nice.
SEK: Let me take that.
SEK accepts far more weight than this tiny muscles can bear but whatever.
OLD LADY: Thank you. It’s good to know someone has the Christmas spirit.
SEK: I’m not a—
OLD LADY: You have the spirit, whatever you are.
SEK: (well-nigh collapsing) I’m not anything.
OLD LADY: Everyone is something.
SEK: Nope.
OLD LADY: Everyone.
SEK: So I get to choose?
OLD LADY: Everyone gets to choose.
SEK: Then I’m Batman.
OLD LADY: Excuse me?
SEK: If I get to choose, I’m Batman.
Jameson Quinn:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Just like Miguelito.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Only I’m not Swiss. And once, I actually yelled that after saving someone. I should write about that one day …
Linnaeus:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I kinda like the “you have the spirit, whatever you are” sentiment.
Lee Rudolph:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:50 pm
And a very merry Batmas to you, sir!
pathman:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Holy shit you are funny!
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I do too, at least when I’m not lugging a 100 lbs. Christmas tree. Then I get sarcastic.
cpinva:
December 3rd, 2012 at 2:55 pm
so, um, who posted your bail?
AcademicLurker:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:01 pm
“You have the spirit, whatever you are” definitely wins points for sheer vagueness.
The Dark Avenger:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:01 pm
“Pinche Batman, pendejo!”
cpinva:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:09 pm
“When in Doubt, be Vague”
that was printed on my diploma. business major, obviously.
Murc:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Welcome to SEK’s Christmas Attack Zone.
Heron:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Totally off topic, but have you ever taken a look at visual rhetoric in anime? I was re-watching this series called Puella Magi Madoka Magica recently and it occurred to me that there’s a lot to work with in it from a formalist perspective. Now that I think about it, pretty much everything SHAFT produces is pretty heavy with the symbolism and visual rhetoric. You’d probably think Zetsubo Sensei is funny.
Linnaeus:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Fair ’nuff.
Peter Hovde:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:15 pm
If you can be Batman, you can also be Swiss (if you want).
Linnaeus:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Sometimes that works in other disciplines, too.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Sort of. I taught this course a few years ago, and we covered Nausicaa, among other things, but that’s about it. I should do more with it, though, because you’re right: there’s a strong formal streak running through anime that, when it’s not routinized in children’s series, is really interesting.
Murc:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Ah, Madoka Magica. David Lynch’s Sailor Moon.
Bitter Scribe:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:32 pm
At least the lyrics for the Batman hymn are easy to memorize.
Scott S.:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Everyone gets to be Batman.
Manju:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:40 pm
I’m Ray Allen.
Sly:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:45 pm
You have chosen wisely.
BigHank53:
December 3rd, 2012 at 3:51 pm
The term of art in geotechnical engineering is usually referred to as “handwaving”. Particularly for client presentations.
Manju:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Why no mention of Robin? He’s always getting the short end of the stick.
Jim Lynch:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:28 pm
If she had a sense of humor, she would have maced you and told the cops, “better safe than sorry”. They would have agreed with her, too.
Hogan:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Sometimes it’s hard to say who’s getting the stick.
thusbloggedanderson:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:40 pm
When I find out that the guy helping with my tree is Batman, sorry, but I want my tree back. No, thanks, I’m good.
… SEK probably already knows the great lines from Wise Blood, where Hazel is trying to rent a room from an old lady who first wants to know what church he belongs to. He tells her, the Church Without Christ (his own invention).
She’s suspicious. “Is that Catholic?” “No, ma’am.” Then okay, he can rent a room.
Bijan Parsia:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:42 pm
I know!
Hanspeter:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:44 pm
My life is complete with Mafalda and LGM coming together.
So…
Miguelito: SEK
Which of the mastheaders is cynical enough to claim Mafalda?
Mike F.:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Thank you for that. Funny funny shit right there. Made my day.
Now if Batman could only beat the shit out of Julie . .
NonyNony:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Don’t be too sure about that.
Poorly-drawn badass Jesus will tear himself down off his cross and open a can of whoop-ass on Batman if he needs to.
Tyto:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:50 pm
“Give me ambiguity, or give me something else.”
Hogan:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Wow. What do they charge for off-brand Rob Liefeld?
Gepap:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I want to know who would claim to be Felipe or Libertad.
wjts:
December 3rd, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Turn the other cheek is really showing class
But I really think it’s sexy when he kicks Satan’s ass!
Kicks Satan’s ass!
Kicks Satan’s ass!
Rock me, rock me, rock me Sexy Jesus!
Barry Freed:
December 3rd, 2012 at 5:06 pm
“You’re Batman!”
SEK spies an OLD LADY…
I just love stuff from you that starts like that.
Stag Party Palin:
December 3rd, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Oh my, a discussion just like we used to have on Usenet. Sigh. What the Jeebusers forgot is what if Batman took on Republican Jesus. Now there’s a fight.
ReinWeiss:
December 3rd, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I almost brought the show up back during some of SEK’s Batman posts. Homura uses some of the same visual tricks as Batman does, suddenly appearing behind someone when the camera cuts away and then back, etc etc.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 5:57 pm
L’esprit de l’escalier, indeed.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Ronald didn’t get the last word. Batman would’ve. Sadly, Jesus wins.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:00 pm
It’s just what happens when you look at life as an opportunity for … actually, I just behave like this because I think it’s funny, what with me being a grown adult and all. And other people do too, like OLD LADY, who gave me chocolate for helping her lug her Christmas tree into her apartment.
Because I’m a nice guy. Stop laughing, I am. Really.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:02 pm
How many citizenships am I allowed? I have American and Israeli already. Can I also be Swiss and Batman?
Pseudonym:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:21 pm
It would have made a much better story if only she had given you bacon instead.
Ian:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:39 pm
It also sounds like something Adam West would say.
SEK:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Or a walrus and said, in her kindly OLD LADY voice, “You know, for fucking.”
Warren Terra:
December 3rd, 2012 at 6:44 pm
I always assumed Batman was a citizen of the world.
herr doktor bimler:
December 3rd, 2012 at 7:27 pm
J’y Swiss, j’y rest.
Heron:
December 3rd, 2012 at 7:37 pm
And How >:)
rm:
December 3rd, 2012 at 8:20 pm
So here I stand in my Superman suit
And everybody says I’m cute
I try to tell ‘em but they just don’t see
And they hang their hats and coats on me.
Well, a job’s a job.
Still, if I had my preference, I’d rather be Batman.
The Dark Avenger:
December 3rd, 2012 at 8:39 pm
My mother’s Catholicism bothered some of my fathers’ Texan family more than the fact that she was part-Chinese. This was in 1956.
Kurzleg:
December 3rd, 2012 at 8:45 pm
La Libertad is nice this time of year!
Hogan:
December 3rd, 2012 at 8:55 pm
They should film that story and show it wvwey Christmas.
Hogan:
December 3rd, 2012 at 8:56 pm
With the Elmer Fudd voice, obviously.
Dave:
December 4th, 2012 at 12:28 am
You would be my hero if my hero wasn’t Batman.
Lurker:
December 4th, 2012 at 2:12 am
Depends. A friend of mine has three: Finnish, Canadian and German. Being born of a German mother and a Finnish father, he holds these two citizenships de jure sanguinis and the Canadian citizenship, having been born there, de jure soli. I think that three passports by birthright is quite a lot for a single person.
The prophet Nostradumbass:
December 4th, 2012 at 2:57 am
Ich bin ein Batman.
Well, I have three, American, British and Irish, due to being born here of parents from Northern Ireland, though I only have two passports.
ajay:
December 4th, 2012 at 4:34 am
Surely Batman is Jewish, though. Look at his name. Kaufman, Goldman, Dorfman, Edelman… Batman.
Hogan:
December 4th, 2012 at 6:21 am
Give me vagueness or whatever.
Njorl:
December 4th, 2012 at 9:06 am
That’s only because the pagan bits were censored from the last line and replaced with “Fa la la la la la la la la la la – BATMAN!”
ajay:
December 4th, 2012 at 9:14 am
I know not what course others may take, but as for myself, I say, give me tautology, or give me tautology!
Aaron Morrow:
December 4th, 2012 at 9:26 am
Can I ask you something I always wanted to ask the real Batman?
ajay:
December 4th, 2012 at 9:45 am
“Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting the Joker.”
Vance Maverick:
December 4th, 2012 at 9:57 am
Or possibly Javanese.
Warren Terra:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:22 am
Surely “The Widdwah” works better?
Hogan:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:24 am
Live free or don’t.
Halloween Jack:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:44 am
Anything, you say?
(I am so, so sorry)
Njorl:
December 4th, 2012 at 11:15 am
I’m sure with that quirky sense of humor, you’ll appreciate the chocolate laxative she gave you as a reward.
Njorl:
December 4th, 2012 at 11:20 am
You can be both.
Njorl:
December 4th, 2012 at 11:22 am
Shouldn’t it be “Ich bin Die Fledermaus.” Unless you prefer Batmanuel.
Bill Murray:
December 4th, 2012 at 11:56 am
Everyone should prefer Batmanuel. He saved a cable car full of supermodels. Twice in one night
paleotectonics:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Ich bin Die Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight.
Surf’s up, space ponies!
paleotectonics:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:18 pm
♪♪Jingle Bells, Batman smells,♪
Robin laid an egg♪♪
♪The Batmobile ♪ lost its wheels♪
and the Joker got away♪
paleotectonics:
December 4th, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Hmmm. Tragic html failure. Imagine musical notes. Imagine this comment is either coherent or missing.
Fuck.
mch:
December 5th, 2012 at 1:45 am
Called on in a Methodist church service some ten years ago (or so) to cite someone who I thought had given witness to Christ, I named, in all sincerity, a Muslim friend, a woman who is always there when someone needs help. Really there with muscle, and with heart.
That whole service really annoyed me, I should add — I mean, I am in sympathy with fatigue over Christian schlock. Still, I think that old lady was trying to say something wise. Why not enjoy and share?
ajay:
December 5th, 2012 at 5:25 am
Or even Turkish.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman,_Turkey
Links 12/5/12 | Mike the Mad Biologist:
December 5th, 2012 at 4:45 pm
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