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I’ve Had Enough Of You Water-Drinking, Air-Breathing Urban Elitists

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Ben Jacobs’s piece reminds me of my favorite part of the Politico’s war on Nate Silver.   As others have pointed out, this botched hack cliche is comedy gold:

For this reason and others — and this may shock the coffee-drinking NPR types of Seattle, San Francisco and Madison, Wis. — more than a few political pundits and reporters, including some of his own colleagues, believe Silver is highly overrated.

Look, I knew those snooty elitists in Seattle and San Francisco looked down on me and my kind, but now you tell me that they drink coffee? No real American would ever be caught dead consuming this obscure product.

I tell you, every election cycle it becomes harder to be a regular American. White wine, Lipton Green Tea, orange juice, Grey Poupon, coffee — every day you discover some product that my relatives in rural Saskatchewan would always have in their pantry that marks you as an out-of-touch urban elitist in the eyes of D.C.-based Ivy Leaguers.

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  • John

    Saskatchewan is a strange example of the American heartland.

    • Walt

      It’s closer than Seattle, San Francisco, or Madison, Wis. None of those places would stand out if you deposited them on the Champs Elysees tomorrow.

      • rea

        It’s closer than Seattle, San Francisco, or Madison, Wis. None of those places would stand out if you deposited them on the Champs Elysees tomorrow.

        You’re wrong, if only due to the resulting traffic jam

        • Walt

          What traffic jam? They don’t use cars in France.

          • Well, they do…however, they are so small that they look like somebody chopped the front off a Real American Car (TM) and exported it to Paris for use by the Poor Socialized Saps Of Europe.

            • Don’t French cars burn cigarettes for fuel?

              • Warren Terra

                No, they run on ennui.

                • Anonymous

                  that is awesome!

        • As a matter of fact, if you placed the state of Washington on the nation of France it would crush a great deal of it, killing many millions of people.

          Something to think about.

    • Just your average American moose…

    • We’ve had cars here in Sask-a-bush for several years now, and TV too!!!
      Actually, I wonder if Byers wrote “latte-drinking NPR types” but had to change it because Politico had already reached its daily cliche limit before this was posted.

  • Gus

    Coca-cola, French’s mustard, iceberg lettuce, those are real American delicacies! None of that snotty “coffee” for me.

    • avoidswork

      ‘Tis not snotty unless you have to pay an arm/leg for it (Blue Bottle or Revival) or hike a few blocks to the hipster coffee truck (Revielle) in SF.

    • KadeKo

      I hope it’s the HFCS Coca-Cola and not the snooty “cane sugar” stuff.

      • CaptBackslap

        HECHO EN MEXICO???

    • R C B

      Where does all of this leave the “Wine and Cheese Liberals” who were crushed by George Wallace’s disdain. Where do we put REal Men who don’t Eat Quiche in this system of political cateogories?

  • Njorl

    You toilet-paper-using elitists probably have special machines dedicated to just making coffee.

    • You can’t prove anything.

    • Tyto

      Funny part is, many of the real snobs don’t.

      • Tyto

        Or, uh . . . so I’ve heard . . .

        • djw

          Technically, some (entirely hypothetical) coffee snob’s burr grinder is a machine dedicated to coffee production.

        • TOO LATE!

          • Uncle Ebeneezer

            Don’t you mean LATTE?

      • mds

        Indeed, I cold-brew my coffee using general-purpose (but high-end) freezer bags, taking care to extract every moiety of bean oil. Then I throw the whole thing into my enamelled Williams-Sonoma kitchen garbage can, because I don’t actually like coffee.

    • Toilet paper? Hell, I use the Constitution.

      • SatanicPanic

        Only when the flag isn’t handy

    • Reilly

      Toilet-paper? Real Americans know why God gave ’em fingernails.

      • Derelict

        Time for an ancient joke:

        Bubba and Cletus don’t get into town much, but they always go for the county fair. One year, Bubba spots one a booth where you can toss a penny into a goldfish bowl and win a prize. Bubba tosses his penny right in on the first try and wins a toilet brush.

        A month later, Bubba runs into Cletus in town. Cletus says, “Bubba, how you like that toilet brush you won?”

        “Well,” says Bubba, “I suppose it’s okay, but I still prefer toilet paper.”

        • so two a blonde and a brunette were walking down the street, when a seagull flying overhead takes a big dump, which lands on the brunette’s head.

          “damn” said the brunette. “i wish i had some toilet paper!”

          “why?” asked the blonde. “that bird’s gotta be a mile away by now!”

          (caveat: sorry for the political incorrectness of the joke, transcribed here en toto as i heard it first. feel free to substitute “blonde” with the perjorative demographic of your choice, ie, tea bagger, romeny progeny, fox news broadcaster, or erik erikson.)

          • Just qualify it w/ “bottle blond.” True blonds are just as good as any one else; it’s the impersonators that give us a bad name.

            And stop w/ the Frenchy “e” on the end, it’s sexist & Frenchy.

    • When I was a young’un, we had to grind our own beans and then stuff the grounds in our mouths and pour boiling hot water over ’em.

      Uphill! Both ways! Kids these days…

      • Linnaeus

        Luxury.

        • Woody

          We would have to get up at ten o’clock, a half-hour before we went to bed . . .

      • Barry

        “When I was a young’un, we had to grind our own beans and then stuff the grounds in our mouths and pour boiling hot water over ‘em.

        Uphill! Both ways! Kids these days…”

        ‘Uphill’? That’s gotta hurt even more than putting it in your mouth :)

      • gocart mozart

        Water! We had to brew our coffee with sand.

        • Warren Terra

          We used t’ dream of brewing our coffee wit’ sand. Two hunnert an’ fifty of us, living in shoebox in middle of t’ road …

      • I remember those days. If I didn’t have his coffee-water boiling hot enough, daddy would run over me with the Oldsmobile.

        • Ye cud afford an Oldsmobile?

          We had ta poot axles on grandpa to get OUR Olds rolling!

      • Anonymous

        At least YOU had a grinder…

  • Joseph Slater

    Don’t get me started about people who use paprika. . . .

    • Walt

      Or god forbid, ketchup. No pretentious Malay sauces for my table.

      • greylocks

        This is really all about mayonnaise vs Miracle Whip.

        • LeeEsq

          Both mayonnaise and Miracle Whip are assaults on deli. You need good, strong mustard with deli meats.

          • NonyNony

            But first you need good deli meat. If you don’t have that, you might as well use catsup.

          • butter

            Only elitist shills can afford meat. True progressives subsist on mayo sandwiches.

            • Bill Murray

              I think you mean butter sandwiches, butter

  • ploeg

    It’s perhaps forgivable in that the word “coffee” is quite deemphasized in blends that real Americans buy.

    • Janastas359

      Are you trying to tell me that those ground up beans I roast every day are actually coffee?!?!?! How dare you!

    • ploeg

      E.g., “We are here at (insert name of four-star restaurant), where we’ve secretly replaced the fine coffee they usually serve with Folgers Rat Turds. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”

      • LeeEsq

        Que mass line for the bathroom. They notice.

        • LeeEsq

          Cue, not que.

          • ploeg

            Cue the queue!

            • Njorl

              There was an embarrassing episode in my youth when I tried to figure out what a queue balibra was.

            • Ian

              Que?

          • Walt

            I notice you couldn’t help yourself from slipping into French. You probably typed “n’est-ce pas” out of habit, but then deleted it.

      • Warren Terra

        Pfft. Folgers Rat Turd Crystals.

    • rm

      You apostrophe-using elitists might make fun of me for my cup of folgers, but at least I’m drinking an American drink not Seattle-grown coffee.

      • Hogan

        Made from beans grown by Real Americans like Juan Valdez.

        • cpinva

          the character of juan valdez was played by a white man, with a very dark tan. at the time, the ad agency claims it was very difficult to find an actual hispanic man, capable of pretending to lead a burro, with fake mountains on the greenscreen behind him.

          also too, the sacks actually contained only a thin layer of coffee beans on top, the balance filled with cocain. this is why the character of juan always had a HUGE smile on his face.

          • Bill Murray

            the character of juan valdez was played by a white man, with a very dark tan.

            George Hamilton?

            • Pestilence

              not THAT dark, they were going for realism

          • Just Dropping By

            The Wikipedia article linked in Hogan’s post largely contradicts that:

            Juan Valdez was initially portrayed by José F. Duval in both print advertisements and on television until 1969. José Duval died in 1993 at the age of 72.
            Juan Valdez had been embodied by Carlos Sánchez since 1969 and voiced by Norman Rose. In 2006, Sánchez announced his retirement, and Carlos Castañeda, a grower from the town of Andes, Antioquia, was selected by the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia as the new face of Juan Valdez.

            TL;DR: The onscreen actor has always been Hispanic. An Anglo voice-actor was used at one point (and I would strongly bet that was because the ads were being shot without audio for international distribution and had voice-over talent dubbed in later for local languages).

      • Yea! Those Seattleans ought to go back to Seattleland where they came from!

  • I’m in Texas, and based on my classes this morning, I’m pretty sure “coffee-drinking” excluded me and half of my (Texas-born) students from being “real” Americans.

    • DrDick

      It would have excluded virtually all of my generation of Okies.

    • cpinva

      i always suspected as much!

      I’m in Texas, and based on my classes this morning, I’m pretty sure “coffee-drinking” excluded me and half of my (Texas-born) students from being “real” Americans.

  • wjts

    This is why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol.

    • Linnaeus

      Harrumph!

      • If those grains are not organic, you shalt be driven from the commune.

    • Joel

      Plus-one. Flouride is of the devil.

    • wengler

      Coffee saps you of your precious bodily fluids.

      • DrDick

        Coffee is my precious bodily fluids!

    • UberMitch

      Seriously. Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

      • DrDick

        Every day.

        • Pestilence

          Stop looking in the mirror

    • commie atheist

      Same here. Plus I deny women my essence.

      • cpinva

        that’s just what they want you to think.

        Plus I deny women my essence.

      • spencer

        Plus I deny women my essence.

        Was that your choice, or have women thrust that choice upon you?

        • timb

          I wish my wife would thrust anything.

          As a Hoosier, I dare not thrust anything on here, as I hear that makes a Jesus-blessed baby and I don’t want anymore kids….

        • Bart

          It’s God’s will.

      • Bill Murray

        how else will they find that essence rare?

  • I’m a small-town girl from the South. I drink coffee. WHEN DID I GO SO WRONG?

    • Ummm, South. Derp.

    • Walt

      It’s when they took prayer out of the schools. That’s when everything went to hell.

    • Barry

      Learning to read and write? Wearing shoes?

    • Uncle Ebeneezer

      Wow, I didn’t realize all those Cammo & NRA-hat wearing dudes that I saw in Waffle House were LIBRULZ!!1!

    • DocAmazing

      Put chicory into it, and all is forgiven.

  • Linnaeus

    Not only am I in Seattle at this very moment drinking coffee, I’m drinking a cappuccino. I suppose I should expect to be deported at any moment now.

    • Keaaukane

      You have to self deport.

      • Davis X. Machina

        or self derp….

    • Patrick

      In Seattle, drinking a mochaccino, and just printed out my tickets to Friday’s playoff game… and the game is soccer! Top that, fellow effete liberals.

      P.S. Go Sounders!

      • Steve H

        Meanwhile, I’m here in the reddest of the red states, trying to get tickets to the second leg of that little clash. Only I may not get them because even this little part of Galt’s Gulch is so overrun with commie elitists that RSL has been selling out all of their recent games.

        • greylocks

          Soccer – isn’t that some pansy European game?

          • The way the MLS plays it, it is…

          • JKTHs

            It’s a boring pansy European game for socialists

          • Alan Tomlinson

            Football is played by nearly the entire world. Soccer, is some sort of bullshit, artsy-fartsy portmanteau word only used by elitist snobs.

            Cheers,

            Alan Tomlinson

            • Patrick

              I’ll stop calling it soccer when Italians stop calling it calcio.

              Now let me get back to my hot cocoa coffee.

            • Soccer is the major sport in only two of the top ten countries in population. “Nearly the entire world”, I don’t think so.

            • Bill Murray

              Football is the portmanteau, soccer is a condensation of association

        • CaptBackslap

          True/False: MLS would be much better off if they made their clubs rename themselves so as not to come across as knockoff versions of European clubs.

          I mention this here because “Real Salt Lake” is the most laughable example of all.

          • Jameson Quinn

            Wow. That’s so bad, it took me reading it three times just to get it. And I live in a place where even my 8-year-old daughter has been pressured by her catholic-girl’s-school classmates to make the choice between Barsa and Real.

          • Steve H

            Guilty as charged. It’s become natural to me after seven years, but the other day my daughter asked me to explain the meaning, and I was just stumped.

            • Patrick

              I thought it was because they really loved Franco in Utah…

              • Patrick

                Damn HTML ate my note of sarcasm. Just to be clear, I’m only calling them fascists in a good natured, joking way.

          • spencer

            Yeah, I think they should use old NASL names whenever possible. But then again, off the top of my head I don’t know if there was a NASL team in SLC …

            • Ramon A. Clef

              Some of the old NASL names are currently in use in the new NASL. The Rowdies won the NASL Soccer Bowl last Saturday night. It was a hell of a game,took me two days to recover my voice.

          • wjts

            Inasmuch as one of the league’s founding teams was originally known as the Kansas City Wiz, Real Salt Lake actually represents an improvement.

            • CaptBackslap

              Now it’s “Sporting KC,” which makes it sound like the Mittster himself owns the team.

              • Bill Murray

                or KC is Fall River on the Mississippi

      • Matt_L

        Go Sounders!

      • timb

        i saw a Sounders game once and, shockingly, yhr match ended nil-nil.

      • Warren Terra

        Poser. I saw a Sounders game a couple of leagues ago, back before that team, and league, disbanded.

        • Scott Lemieux

          Unlike me, none of you urban elitists have seen the only AUTHENTIC NASL team, the Calgary Boomers.

    • Major Kong

      Of course you’re drinking a cappucino. Ever tried to find a regular cup of coffee in Seattle?

  • parrot

    out here in the mouth-breather mountains located in the red state of nc (aka hillbilly country … bug tussle town pop < 2k), i roll only with intelligentsia house blend (thems some awesome beans) … i'm providing spiritual ballast & healing vibes to the mountains … these peeple flunked demography-statistics-actuarial thought processing … didn't they get the memo: the earth is flat … we even go to barbers, spas, salons, massage, wellness centers for grooming & pampering … really, we’ve been moving cosmo-metro-sexual since the indoor plumbing hegemony and dancing with the stars … yet another leftist plot to undo traditional values …

  • (the other) Davis

    I (mis-)spent my adolescence taking full advantage of the bottomless coffee at the 24-hour truck stop diner that was inexplicably sited in my tiny town on I-87. Color me shocked to learn that all those long-haulers were liberal elitists.

    • Cody

      They only vote for Romney to repent for their sin of being liberal by drinking coffee.

  • Njorl

    I’m getting an advertisement for “Sobrexo” which promises that I’ll stop drinking in 8 weeks. Will this help me stop drinking coffee? Does it work on the addiction only, or will it address my underlying, perverse anti-American reasons for drinking coffee?

    • You stop drinking everything, and absorb moisture through the skin. You’ll pray for humidity. Eventually, roots.

  • Snarki, child of Loki

    They can have my coffee when they pry it from my cold, dead, decaffeinated fingers.

  • Jonas

    Oddly enough, back in 2008 the pundits attacked Obama for not being able to connect to real Americans because he asked for orange juice one time when he was offered coffee. Back in 2008, real Americans always drank coffee.

    • El Guapo

      Hell you say?!? We’ve *always* been at war with Eastasian coffee.

    • catclub

      And it does not get brought up much now, when Mitt the Mormon no drinks the coffee substance.

      • Warren Terra

        In terms of Mitt’s consumption of food and drink, I’m much more grimly fascinated by the reports that for the duration of the campaign he’s on some specially designed liquid diet than I am interested in his religiously inspired dietary restrictions.

    • gocart mozart

      That was before all real murkins discovered the joy of teabags.

      • burritoboy

        We inhabitants of San Francisco were the pioneers of understanding the pleasures of teabags. In multiple different senses of teabag. Does that mean we are the vanguard of the Party?

        • gocart mozart

          The teabaggers took a perfectly good word that merely meant licking someones balls and turned it into something sick and perveted.*

          *Joke stolen from Bill Maher

    • Malaclypse

      Oddly enough, back in 2008 the pundits attacked Obama for not being able to connect to real Americans because he asked for orange juice one time when he was offered coffee. Back in 2008, real Americans always drank coffee.

      And in 2012, Real Americans obey the Word of Wisdom.

    • No, if you are a GOP partisan Real Americans (TM) always drink anything that The Usurper does not drink.

  • Nathan Willard

    We’re in such trouble that even corn dogs and beer are off-limits to real Americans.

    https://www.mattforsd.com/donate-for-corn-dogs/

    This is a real ad.

    • Walt

      God, I love that ad. Never have corn dogs sounded so sinister.

      • cpinva

        ok, i looked. it doesn’t say how many corn dogs i get, or when they get delivered. in fact, nowhere in the ad, except at the very top, are corn dogs even mentioned. i believe this is fraudulent advertizing! i wants me some SD corn dogs, dammit!

        oh, i must say, i do like how that lady candidate’s shirt is open just so far……………

        • The more you donate, the more buttons get undone.

          $1,000 & the hair comes down.

      • Uncle Ebeneezer

        I may need to look up “corn dog party” on urban dictionary. It sounds like I’m missing something here.

      • Jonas

        Hell that ad made me want to vote for Varilek. He achieved the rare corndog/beer triple/double.

        • Bill Murray

          what is the third part? 10 corndogs, 10 beers, 10 ? trips to the bathroom?

      • Jameson Quinn

        He’s like a Bond villain of corn dogs! While she’s like… um… a Stepford wife inexplicably included in a Bond movie? No, that would be too obvious… she must secretly be the villain, and she’s just taking the tracking device off her car, like Gustavo Fring. Anyone that clean has got to be dirty.

        • Bill Murray

          well he promises to show up to Ag committee meetings, speak at them and not get spoken to about talking on his cell phone when he shows up. All of which is more than Kristi Noem could do.

    • Hogan

      Why, he’s been places and et in hotels. Get out the tar and feathers.

  • Joseph Smith, Jr.

    As I’ve always said: don’t trust the warm beverage drinking heathens.

    • Keaaukane

      I’ve been told that iced coffee is OK for Mormons, if you just go by the writings of Mr. Smith

      • Bill Murray

        so is beer if you go by the drinking of Joseph Smith

  • David Pearce

    Listen, ya jackwagon, sorry to Poupon your parade, but it’s Grey ~, NOT Gray ~!

    • JR

      I FOUNDA LIBRUL! GET ‘IM IN THE WAGON QUICK.

      • Tyto

        Hey, boys? Look what I have heah….

  • Offsides

    I think they probably meant the cliched term of disparagement “latte-drinking”, but their brain inserted an alternate term. Kind of like when people say “I could care less” not realizing what it actually means.

  • mark f

    The fact is, here in the Heartland, we eat Elia’s pizza and drink Ecto-Cooler for every meal.

    • Just Dropping By

      Wow, I just realized how long it’s been since I had an Ecto-Cooler!

  • Mudge

    I find it interesting that the right wing seems to firmly believe that prediction leads to victory. Any sensible person knows Nate Silver succeeds by being as correct in his evaluation of the polls as possible. Yet, the right believes everyone is partisan because they are partisan in all things. Science is politics and polling is politics. Dick Morris today predicted that Romney will win in a landslide, as if saying it will make it so. Wishing hard enough makes it happen.

    It seems the smearing of Silver has a much more pathological basis. The right believes that Silver has the power to get Obama elect via his predictions.

    Obviously, the right thinks Silver should spend more time hanging around the salad bar at Applebees than at his computer.

    • NonyNony

      I find it interesting that the right wing seems to firmly believe that prediction leads to victory.

      I think this falls firmly into the right-wing attitude towards everything. If you project an air of “winning” then you will be a “winner”. Silver is saying Obama might win, therefore Silver is in the tank for Obama because he’s helping to project an air of Obama victory.

      Any sensible person knows Nate Silver succeeds by being as correct in his evaluation of the polls as possible.

      Um. Silver is a pundit who is employed by the New York Times.

      I agree with you that what you say above is true of Nate Silver and if his evaluation of the polls is off he will be hammered for it. But “sensible people” can be forgiven if they assume that a pundit who writes for the New York Times will face no possible downside of being wrong with his predictions – nobody has ever been booted from the pundit class for being “wrong” about anything. That’s how Bill Kristol, Dick Morris and plenty of other folks continue to find paying work.

      • catclub

        Well, Bill Kristol _did_ lose his perch at the NYT.

        Amazing but true.

      • Quercus

        I think you’re right about Silver-hate being rooted in the ‘winners win’ and ‘facts don’t exist’ right-wing ideology, but I think there’s also a huge fear (and therefore hatred) of him among pundits regardless of political persuasion. I mean, Nate is making predictions based on facts and publicly available data, not on vague feelings and gossip at dinner parties in Georgetown or The Hamptons. Why, if that catches on, all you need to be an expert is smarts and dedication. And where would the average pundit be then?

        • NonyNony

          Oh I’m sure there’s some of that too. You get that in any field where new methods based on empirical data collection start to muscle in on territory formerly held by people pulling stuff out of various orifices.

          I always think of conversations I’ve had with older linguist PhDs about how the whole field is going to hell now that there’s an expectation that examples be collected and examined empirically instead of being made up off the top of one’s head based on the individual linguist’s idea of how English is spoken. I can only imagine that what’s going on in pundit circles is about like that, except that the “damn statistics” are different.

          • Xof

            Also, let’s face it, most of the pundit class did not major in math.

    • Steve LaBonne

      We’re an empire, we create our own reality.

    • Keaaukane

      Predict = Cause is an old right wing trope. Remember McCarthy going after Lattimore for suggesting Mao might win the Chinese Civil War?

      Unleash Chaing Kai Shek!

  • rea

    Warm vinegar was good enough for Jesus–it ought to be good enough for any real American.

  • The only acceptable beverage is Brawndo.

    Yea, you know what its got….

    • Jonas

      Of course I drink Brawndo. I should drink water? From the turlet?

    • spencer

      Plants crave that shit.

    • Warren Terra

      I couldn’t believe it took the thread this long to invoke Brawndo.

  • sharculese

    True conservatives start the day by mainlining a case of Monster before the liberal nanny state makes it illegal. SUCK ON IT, LIBS!

    • parrot

      infantile, mentally stunted conseratives are why they need a liberal nanny state …

    • DocAmazing

      Four Loko if it’s brunch.

  • Icarus Wright

    Brewskis or death.

  • may shock the coffee-drinking

    Know WHO ELSE doesn’t drink coffee?

    • Karate Bearfighter

      Non-closers?

      • Geez, the obvious answer is MITTLER.

      • Derelict

        And we have a winner! Karate Bearfighter, please collect your internets at the door!

      • Warren Terra

        This thread is one of the most entertaining I’ve seen for days if not weeks, but that comment truly does stand out.

  • Reilly

    I understand Byers wrote the original copy for the Club for Growth attack ad against Howard Dean. Unfortunately they had to let him go and punch it up a little:
    “Howard Dean should take his coffeelatte-drinking, fishsushi-eating, carVolvo-driving, newspaperNew York Times-reading, movieHollywood-loving, political ideologyleft-wing freak show back to Vermont, where it belongs.”

    • Davis X. Machina

      It’s Vermont. In other words, get outside of Burlington and they’re all drinking Moxie, and Allen’s Coffee Brandy, and doing donuts in their 4WD’s on frozen lakes and ponds.

      • rea

        Forget it, Jake. It’s Vermont.

      • Malaclypse

        they’re all drinking Moxie

        Punishment enough, I say.

    • mds

      Well, that’s why the Club for Growth copyeditors get paid the big bucks. “Howard Dean should take his coffee, fish car, newspaper movie political ideology” just doesn’t have the same punch. Especially since hardly anyone back then knew that Dr. Dean drove around in a newspaper-wrapped fish while wearing Luca Brasi’s coffee-stained pants. Talk about inside baseball.

  • Wido Incognitus

    1. I have seen enough jars of Grey Poupon to know that it is spelled “grey” and not “gray.”
    2. I still believe in the value of following patterns of behavior that are rooted in your own community instead of affectation and self-indulgence, although I am probably not willing to infer any political lessons from that and certainly do not consider coffee, at least in its foamless forms, to be either affected or self-indulgent.

    • rea

      Maurice Grey and Auguste Poupon founded the company.

      • Warren Terra

        I thought this must be a joke until I looked it up. Unless someone just snuck it into Wikipedia, of course …

    • Lyanna

      Yeah, I couldn’t let this pass:

      I still believe in the value of following patterns of behavior that are rooted in your own community instead of affectation and self-indulgence

      WTF? You believe in not drinking hot beverages that those around you don’t care for, in other words. This seems to be taking sheep-like communitarianism to new depths.

      • NonyNony

        I still believe in the value of following patterns of behavior that are rooted in your own community instead of affectation and self-indulgence

        Jeebus are you Amish or something? Are you afraid that outside communities will taint your precious bodily fluids or something?

        If you’ll excuse me I’ll just go for dinner now. I think it may be pizza. Or perhaps a burrito. Maybe a sandwich. All of which of course are deeply rooted in my community back to the dawn of time – because it’s unAmerican and inhuman to allow ideas from other communities to become incorporated into one’s own.

        • Jameson Quinn

          Burritos are in fact an “American” idea. Burritos are small flour tortillas wrapped around a single ingredient; you have to order 3 or 4 to have a real meal.

          • “Burritos are in fact an “American” idea. ”

            Not true. They are from Mexico. The name (as told to me by an actual Mexican) meaning little burro refers to the packaged to carry nature of the food.

            • Hogan

              [pissy but, you know, slightly accurate comment about how Mexico is actually in North America, and we USians don’t really get to own the word “American,” much as we assume we do]

            • Jameson Quinn

              The idea of a food named after a little burro which involves flour tortillas is Mexican, which makes it American but not “American”. The super buh-REE-toe which is a meal unto itself is born in the USA.

      • Wido Incognitus

        I don’t think that following those patterns are the only valuable thing, and I think there is value in doing things that are not rooted in your community’s practices. Nothing in my post suggests that I believe in not drinking hot beverages that other people around me do not care for. I am just skeptical of types of contrarianism that are really a form of chic consumer-conformity.

        • Wido Incognitus

          It’s just that I think that customary practices play an important role in society and they should not be ignored or suppressed too much.

          • Hob

            You keep doing this thing where you stake out a firm general position against something that no one has argued in favor of. I’m not sure this is as meaningful as you think it is.

            • STH

              Behaviors have value if they have value. What value does something provide just by being the thing we’ve done for a while? And how is doing something on that non-basis any better than doing something because it’s the thing that we haven’t done here?

        • STH

          Shorter Wido: my conformity can beat up your conformity.

  • Froley

    The LGM posts about beverages are my favorite ones. I’m not leaving until this evolves into a 400 comment mini-flame war arguing over what west coast microbrewery makes the best coffee porter.

    • I am opposed to the inclusion of coffee into porter, largely because I dislike coffee. That’s one reason why Deschutes Black Butte Porter is so great–a well-crafted beer that doesn’t need to fall back upon the inclusion of strong outside flavors.

      Is that a good enough start?

      • Linnaeus

        Best beer Deschutes makes.

        • Jason

          Redchair says hey

        • Keaaukane

          I prefer their seasonal Jubeale.

      • Gus

        Excellent! Rheinheitsgebot or death!

        • Alan Tomlinson

          The Rhein is a river, and rein means pure in German. The word you are looking for is Reinheitsgebot.

          Cheers,

          Alan Tomlinson

      • Froley

        Perfect, thank you.

      • parrot

        Deschutes Black Butte Porter

        plays the race card … diy: beer + espressoshots + haircuts

    • wjts

      Porters are OK, coffee porters less so, and the best American beers are brewed in the Upper Midwest and New England. Flame on!

      • I cannot take an argument seriously that the nation’s best beer comes from the upper Midwest and New England. Good beer, yes. Equal to the West Coast and Colorado, not even close.

        • Steve LaBonne

          Ommegang is located in none of those regions. Just saying.

          • Jameson Quinn

            You forget. There will always be those who walk away from Ommegang.

            • Linnaeus

              Okay, that’s an awesome reference.

              • Steve LaBonne

                +100

        • wjts

          Pistols at dawn it is.

          • spencer

            We can say it. I don’t know what it means, but we can say it.

        • Linnaeus

          I agree. Those regions are making better stuff, but still need to catch up.

          • Gus

            Russian River is overrated. There, I said it.

            • Some snob friends and I took a tour through about a dozen NorCal breweries a while back, including Russian River.

              The best brewery of the trip was unanimously determined to be North Coast Brewing. Their Saison and Imperial Stout were my favorites.

        • PSP

          Any arguements that west coast beer is better lack sufficient foundation, if the speaker has not been to:

          http://www.mcneillsbrewery.com/

    • thelogos

      Infidel. Evolution does not exist, it is just a theory.

    • DocAmazing

      Don’t even mess with coffee porter. Just order a Guinness (or an Anchor Porter) and drop a shot of espresso into it. Perfect breakfast.

      • Linnaeus

        No eggs?

        • mds

          Nah, eggs are bad for you.

  • The Dark Avenger

    Slug-o cola for me, you xenophobes!

  • rea

    Should we really trust someone who deosn’t drink coffee to handle the proverbial 3 am phone call?

    • JKTHs

      Maybe we should trust the insomniac who wouldn’t be asleep in the first place.

    • cpinva

      i don’t take any phone calls, until i’ve had my first cuppa hot joe! that call would just have to wait until 3:30am.

    • Alan Tomlinson

      Should we really trust someone who hasn’t been totally shit-faced to interact with Russians?

      Cheers,

      Alan Tomlinson

      • Cody

        I always assume when you have a meeting with Putin, it involves sipping vodka.

        • Every Russian ever

          “Sipping”? What is this “sipping” of which you speak?

  • Anonymous

    Did Sadly, No! shut its doors?

    • Derelict

      Seems to work for me, though it’s loading slower than crap today.

      And, IMHO, it’s just not been the same since Cerberus started posting.

      • rea

        It’s going to the dogs?

      • Yeah, group web logs can be a problem, can’t they?

  • Davis

    He wanted to write latte-sipping but he couldn’t spell it.

    • Jameson Quinn

      So why can you? Shame!

    • Being able to spell it would have marked him out as an elitist…

  • RedSquareBear

    Could it be a “Mormons are superior” dig?

    Do Mormons have a term like “goyim”?

  • Warren Terra

    The Greatest Generation ™ understood that Real Americans don’t drink coffee; they drink some concoction made from roast chickory and toasted oats.

    Indeed, drinking a vile substitute for real coffee was once a way of making a statement in favor of Civil Rights.

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  • Cal Damage

    Just arrived from Krugman’s link.
    ~~
    “why?” asked the blonde. “that bird’s gotta be a mile away by now!”
    ~~
    Ye cud afford an Oldsmobile?
    We had ta poot axles on grandpa to get OUR Olds rolling!
    ~~
    French cars run on ennui.
    ~~
    Must leave now. Laughing too damned hard. Thanks.

  • W. Kiernan

    Squire Higbee wrongs me to say
    That I died from smoking Red Eagle cigars.
    Eating hot pie and gulping coffee
    During the scorching hours of harvest time
    Brought me here ere I had reached my sixtieth year.

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  • Ridiculous story there. What happened after? Good luck!

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