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NEW INTERNET TRADITION

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Given that we’re all bone-tired of Anonymous Jenny, it’s been decided and decreed that from this point forward, Anonymous Jenny is to be treated as the abusive consumer Anonymous Jenny clearly is:

CASHIER: Cash or charge?

ANONYMOUS JENNY: Pancakes rule. Democrats hate pancakes. Come November, all they’ll eat is pancakes.

CASHIER: I said, “Cash or charge?”

ANONYMOUS JENNY: In Wisconsin the polls say that pancakes are high and Democrats don’t bounce.

CASHIER: Do you want to pay for your items?

ANONYMOUS JENNY: Mitt Romney is about to bury Ohio under pancakes. The Democrats will have to eat their way out. And they hate pancakes! I can’t wait to see that.

CASHIER: Security?

ANONYMOUS JENNY: Their Democrat bodies covered in syrup, their Democrat eyes crust-closed by jam!

CASHIER: SECURITY!

ANONYMOUS JENNY: THE PARTY OF AUNT JEMIMA WILL BE MY BITCH!

Future responses to Anonymous Jenny should take the form of, for example, “YOU WILL CHOKE ON MY PANCAKES! YOU WILL SUP ON MY JAM!” More samples of appropriate responses can be found here. Anyone who engages Anonymous Jenny in any other manner risks being treated like Anonymous Jenny or having his or her comment deleted and replaced with a link to this post.

So it is written. So it will be. All hail the new Internet Tradition!

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