I didn’t know conservatives wrote poetry!
The mysterious conservative poet known only as “Taboola” posted this masterpiece at the National Review:
If you can’t see the tiny print, that reads:
You may like:Jon Voight ‘feeding’ daughter
Angelina Jolie 10 eye-catching looks
From last night’s MTV.
Is Karolina Kurkova
the most attractive swimsuit?Hottest member of the GOP:
Sarah Palin.
Photo actress Aisha Tyler to Romney:
“You do not, Senator Lee.
Obama’s idea to amend Constitution
A One night stand. Harmless fun?
Or a Van Jones at Democratic Convention:
“I’m Being.”That’s not bad, but I prefer the poem he or she published in The Daily Caller better:
For the visually impaired:
You may like:Former Vietnam POW: I would approveFearLazinessand dishwashing.CNBC host Kudlow:Obama would rather Fluke argue“A vote for Obama is a vote for cute overload!”Animal videos that will makeGrenades, machetes sold at storeadjacent toJeb Bush: “If Clinton’s‘the first black president,’I’m Micheal Steele!”New Generation of GOP?Has.Feel free to capture and share the poetry of “Taboola.” Like any good worker, he or she will perform on demand. All you need to do is hit “Refresh.”
“Grenades, machetes sold at store”
It’s about fucking time.
I thought conservative poetry was only about a man from Nantucket (probably named Burke or Oakeshott)
Well, there’s Hilaire Beloc:
(Which before Googling I thought was by Rudyard Kipling, who’d seem to be another candidate). Also Henry Newbolt.
As reactionary as Kipling’s poetry is in general, his commentary on the treatment of Tommy Adkins is worthy to be engraved over the entrance to every VA hospital. Kipling recognized that those who most advocate for war will be first to turn their backs on soldiers and veterans.
was Hilaire Beloc the evil archaeologist on the first Indiana Jones movie?
It’s sad that with such a rich tradition of reactionary poetry, this is the best they’ve got.
C’mon people, you can do better than that!
“Why should I blame her that she filled my days
With misery, and that she would of late
Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways
And hurled the little streets upon the great
Had they but courage equal to desire?”
The Yeatster.
The same poet regularly appears at Talking Points Memo (scroll down just below the article and above the Facebook comments), so I think he’s non-partisan: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/09/dems-house-gop-passed-55-anti-women-bills.php
But you can tell the liberal slant of TPM from their text;
The Jon Stewart allusion really gives it away.
You’re a weird guy, SEK.
People forget, sometimes, that I’m an English Ph.D. There’s nothing weird about someone like me finding poetry in the world. I’ve spent years training how to squint my eyes just so to make this damn dull world a more interesting place, and sometimes the choice is squint or suicide … especially when I’m reading The Daily Caller.
I’ll bet they’re eye-catching.
I think I approve of this new spin on the Turing Test.
I for one welcome our new beat poetry composing AI overlords. I mean could be worse, right? Could be Vogons.
They could be Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings or Paul Neil Milne Johnstone — sample poetry
I may change my name to Cute Overload. I’ll get elected to, well, everything.