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Eligible Bachelors


In 1967, Town and Country Magazine named Mittens one of its top 25 most eligible bachelors.

Doesn’t look as if that weekends at the White House prediction is looking too good though, unless President Obama is so taken with Mittens that he invites him over for some of those White House home brews some Saturday in the summer of 2013. Which, in the end, seems a touch unlikely.

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  • MAJeff

    Huh. Willard’s into water sport. Never would have guessed him as a piss queen.

    • Davis

      Town and Country is not the Village Voice.

  • wengler

    20 years old in 1967. I guess Republicans don’t even need to make an excuse anymore as to why they didn’t get their asses shipped off to Vietnam.

    • newsouthzach

      Now, now, it was very difficult being a military-aged American in Paris during the Vietnam War. All that anti-war sentiment, you know!

      Khe Sanh? Never heard of him.

  • He looks like one of the guys Don Corleone had beaten up for the undertaker who asked him for justice on his daughter’s wedding day.

    Even if he doesn’t actually resemble either of those guys, he still looks like one of those guys.

    • djangermous

      He looks like the dude Ray Liotta pistolwhips for messing with Diane.

  • UberMitch

    So do his watercolors still exist?

    • herr doktor bimler

      You know WHO ELSE painted water-colours??!!

      • Fats Durston

        Damn you bimler, with your inside German track!

      • rea

        Yeah, Churchill.

      • mark f
    • Fats Durston

      You know who else painted in watercolors…

      • herr doktor bimler


  • Robert Farley

    He’s hot. I’d do him.

    • rea

      You one of those guys with a forced haircut fetish?

  • muddy

    Wasn’t he already with Ann by then? She must have loved this.

    • Warren Terra

      The obvious Mormon joke is that even if with Ann, he was still eligible – and remains so today.

      • mark f

        Not just the obvious Mormon joke, but the obvious Romney joke. Mitt’s ancestors were prominent Mormons who fled to Mexico on account of the U.S. outlawing polygamy.

  • herr doktor bimler

    “Made for sailing, expert water-skier.”

    But John Kerry liked wind-surfing.

    • AR

      Come Nov 7th they both will have the same amount of time as President-elect. Maybe the key is not to nominate guys from Mass that like stereotypical rich-guy hobbies.

      • ajay

        John F. Kennedy and John Adams resemble that remark.

        • Informant

          What stereotypical rich guy hobbies did Adams enjoy?

          • Kicking the servants.

          • ajay

            Tax evasion.

          • rea

            Defending occupation soldiers charged with murdering civilians.

          • mds

            Going into debt.

          • Bill Murray

            making sedition a crime

          • witless chum

            Being an irritating asshole to most everyone, marrying very well.

  • He can turn a dollar in to a million with one pompous glance.

  • Anonymous

    “Mormon missionary work in France.”

    Dog bless him.

  • Anon21

    Despite seriousness, Mitt likes golf

    Boy, his affection for the dullest rich white dude sport ever invented makes him sound like a real card.

    • ajay

      Despite seriousness, Mitt likes golf

      Yes, that’s a bit of an odd one.

      “Despite being Indian, Sanjay is very keen on cricket”.

      “Despite being a Chicago longshoreman, Mike enjoys a beer and is known to use foul language.”

      • Mike the Chicago Longshoreman

        [Carefully puts glass of Chambertin down on doily, and bookmarks Leaves of Grass]

        I beg your pardon; are you addressing me, sir? If so, you will be hearing from my attorney, you, you … poopyhead.

        • burritoboy


          C’mon, Leaves of Grass? Stop trying to impress us with your base American-ness act. We already know that you favor Mallarme over Whitman.

          • Mike the Chicago Longshoreman

            [Draws self up in longshoremanly huffy manner]

            How dare you, sir! I’ll admit, I might have dabbled with Baudelaire, but I never inhaled…

            [Notices that cover has slipped off of “Leaves of Grass,” revealing that it is actually a copy of Divagations]

            [Breaks down weeping]

            It’s true! I don’t even like Whitman. What are the ladies and gentlemen down at the union office going to say?

  • BC

    I think the White House reference is to his father, who did run in the 1968 GOP primary only to be upended when he explained that he was “brainwashed” during his visit to Vietnam.

    • witless chum

      Which the media decided to pretend was a crazy remark, slightly out of context. A world in which George Romney’s the Republican nominee in 1968 is almost certainly a different one. I wonder if he’d have beat Humphrey? Or if George Wallace wins more states that Nixon took because Romney is a liberal Republican.

  • Stag Party Palin

    You know if Mittens had made it to ‘Nam he would have met the same fate as that other Young Republican, Douglas C. Niedermayer.

    • Sharon

      He and Perry looked like “Dougie-boy.”

      Who knew?!

  • YankeeFrank

    He looks like photos of the young Voldemort from the Harry Potter films. Not kidding: http://debrakristi.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/teenage-tom-riddle.jpg.

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