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Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs


What happens when 2 influential right-wing loons decide to declare war on each other? Let’s get the popcorn ready!

If Frank Gaffney gets his way, Grover Norquist won’t be at a high-profile conservative gathering known as the Conservative Political Action Conference in October. Not only that, but the anti-tax crusader and his allies will be totally discredited and branded as supporters of the Muslim Brotherhood.

But long before he was going after top State Department official Huma Abedin, Gaffney was targeting two men connected with CPAC: Norquist, head of Americans for Tax Reform, and Suhail Khan, a former official in the administration of President George W. Bush. Both are board members of the American Conservative Union, which runs CPAC.

“Grover Norquist is credentialing the perpetrators of this Muslim Brotherhood influence operation. … We are in a war, and he has been working with the enemy for over a decade,” said Gaffney in a January 2011 WorldNetDaily op-ed.

May the best man wi…no wait, uh, may both of them lose!

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  • Timb

    No way Gaffney’s racist attacks on Norquist will work. Norquist IS the conservative id. Frank is just the McCarthy

    • ocularity

      Charlie or Jenny?

      • Timb

        Clearly, Jenny

      • Bill Murray


      • rea


    • Manju

      Norquist IS the conservative id

      1. Identity?
      2. The opposite of Super-ego? Or…
      3. Idiot?

      • DrDick


      • Bill Murray

        you missed Wizard

  • elm

    What the hell? Does the universe have August and April confused? Everytime I think I’ve read the stupidest wingnut argument of the day, something comes a long to top it.

    • NonyNony

      Nope it’s August.

      They don’t call it the “silly season” fer nothing.

      • wengler

        Shark month. Ground Zero Mosque. Trying to stop that guy in Florida from burning a Koran.

        When Congress and the President go on vacation the news has to make stupid shit up, cause God knows they don’t want to focus on something substantive.

  • rea

    YOu know, Grovr Norquist being in league with al Qaeda would explain a lot

    • Timb

      Yeah, but you know opposing Mitch Daniels because one of his grandparents was Lebanese (instead of him just being a terrible, Humana being) is Gaffney’s style.

      Damn him for making me root for Norquist

      • DrDick

        Nah. I am hoping for the Kilkenney cats.

        • rea

          There once were two cats of Kilkenny
          Each thought there was one cat too many
          So they fought and they fit
          And they scratched and they bit
          ‘Til (excepting their nails
          And the tips of their tails)
          Instead of two cats there weren’t any!

          • DrDick

            Loved that as a kid.

  • It’s been a good week for popcorn

  • Sly

    I for one welcome our tax-cutting Islamic terrorist overlords.

  • Robert Farley

    It’s weird; when people say “Gaffney” I think “conservative loon who talks crazy” When people say “Norquist” I think “horrible evil, with understandably seductive sales pitch.” Why is this?

    • wengler

      Because Grover lives in a big house in the town center and Gaffney lives a little out of town yelling at all the passersby.

    • greylocks


    • NonyNony

      That’s not weird. That’s perfectly natural. Gaffney is a crazy-talking conservative loon. Norquist, meanwhile, is a guy who would (metaphorically?) shiv his own mom if you paid him enough money to do it.

      I don’t actually think that Norquist is a true believer in anything but “Grover Norquist should have more money”. Gaffney, meanwhile, has the drive of a religious zealot with the brain of a crazed ferret – he believes the things he says and the things he says are nuts.

    • Halloween Jack

      Norquist reeled in Jane Hamsher, something that she’ll never live down.

      • Malaclypse

        Nor should she.

  • Random

    While Norquist’s hold on power has slipped some in recent years, when all is said and done the GOP loves money far more than they hate brown people. Bet on Norquist.

    • greylocks

      That may be true of the power brokers, but the rank and file are just racist ass-hats.

      • firefall

        unsurprisingly, as most of the rank and file dont have any money, like the rest of us.

  • Morbo

    And your winner of this contest is: nobody. They’re both losers.

  • Manju

    The economy is almost a challenger’s wet-dream. Could the Republicans actually be stupid enough to change the subject to one that allows the incumbent to utter the only 3 words Ted Nugent fears more than “I’m Chris Hansen”?

    “Osama bin Laden”.

    The failure to nominate Newt indicates no. But all we need to do is make sure they don’t Trent Lott Michelle in the next month. Then we got a shot at turning the 2012 RNC into this:

    “1968 Democratic National Convention”

    I suggest giving more press to Admiral Bill McRaven. He’s basically saying that Obama is the greatest Ninja Assassin to ever to sit in the Oval Office. Believe me, saying this to the RWing is like telling the left-wing that they sucked on civil rights.

    They’ll go nuts. And with any luck they’ll look toward the Bachmann Turner Overdrive Diaries for comfort. Obama then turns around and Goldwater’s Romney like there is no tomorrow.

    Dust off the Daisy Ad, I say.

    • Surreal American

      Wow, the GOP gets the 1964 Goldwater nomination and the 1968 Democratic convention in 2012?

      Those popcorn futures are looking better and better.

    • NonyNony

      The Daisy Ad? For Mitt Romney? Ha! Romney’s perceived as too much of a wimp for anyone to believe that he’d use the bomb on anyone.

      For Romney you just keep cracking jokes at his expense.

      • TT

        Oh, I think he’d nuke Switzerland or the Caymans in a heartbeat if either one disclosed his bank accounts.

        • NonyNony

          You think he’d nuke his own money?

          He’d nuke DC before he nuked the Caymans.

          Hell, he’d probably nuke his own mother before he nuked the Caymans.

          • mds

            You think he’d nuke his own money?

            Actually, based on what I’ve seen of his campaign lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to imitate Goldfinger, and bungled it by nuking his own money by mistake.

    • Socraticsilence

      Or we could play up Ehud Barak- I mean “Obama has done more for Israel than any other president” your nuts going to take that Manju?

      • Manju

        your nuts going to take that Manju?

        He’s Labour, right? They’ll just think he’s a Communist.

        Plus you have to distinguish the Leo Strauss crowd from the BTO diaries fans. The former loves Israel. The latter just hates Muslims (the enemy of my enemy is…).

        So better to go with the Admiral who refuses to confirm that Obama did not order a kill, as opposed to a capture.

    • JL

      Then we got a shot at turning the 2012 RNC into this:

      “1968 Democratic National Convention”

      Oh please god no. I’m going to be medicking the RNC protests.

  • This is like watching two teams you hate play each other. You don’t care who wins you just hope they beat the living shit out of each other.

  • Manta

    Is this the correct quotation?
    It’s a pity they can’t both lose

  • Jeffrey Kramer

    A point which gets overlooked, understandably, because to get there you’ve got to parse and disentangle a whole heap of crazy: remember that Gaffney/Bachmann’s “analysis” of Abedin as terrorist agent consisted of something like, “Her father had an organization, which had a contributor, who was in an organization, which had a bank, which bad people put money in.” (I think there was a cat and some humus in the chain of evidence as well, but I wouldn’t swear to it.)

    So if you apply anything close to the same standard, you can’t just stop with Norquist when you’re exposing those who must come under suspicion of treason: you have to start investigating, at a minimum, everybody who’s taken money from or given money to Norquist’s organization.

    That would cover about 99.9% of the GOP, presumably. I don’t know how they’d be able to get three untainted senators or representatives to start the investigation. Maybe they should all just turn themselves in now.

  • Cody

    “Frank’s argument is, ‘If you knew what I knew, you’d understand.’ But the problem is the people who read all of his stuff are the ones who are the least sympathetic to his conspiracy theories,” said Norquist.

    Is Norquist implying that Conservatives don’t believe in conspiracy theories? The people who think Obama is a Kenyan or that he is plotting his own assassination?

  • Halloween Jack

    After the stink about GOProud getting uninvited to the thing, I’m starting to think that that’s the only thing about CPAC that anyone pays attention to any more, not what gets said or done there.

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