Home / General / But Will Newt or Condi Replace Romney After the Brokered Convention?

But Will Newt or Condi Replace Romney After the Brokered Convention?


I’m tempted to say that Pareene should have submitted this to Politico or Fred Hiatt as a kind of Sokal Hoax. But what makes it brilliant satire is that once you’ve switched the partisan context there’s no chance that anyone would take it seriously, even if you submitted it under the byline “Dick Morris” or “Pat Caddell.” And no progressive publication has the same incredibly low estimate of its readers that the Weekly Standard or the Daily Tucker* do.

*Speaking of which, the Daily Tucker recently “informed” its audience that Obama could well fail to carry Illinois because — unusually for a Democratic candidate — he’s doing better in the core of Chicago than in the suburbs. (Similarly, Obama could win Texas, because he’s doing better in Dallas proper than in the exurbs.) Ah, if only this represented the thinking of Republican operatives and donors. But at least no prominent conservative blogger could possibly take such monumental idiocy seriously? Oh, right. But when you remember that Gekko/Roark Without the Architectural Ability are going to get 30% of the African American vote, it all makes sense!

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  • Hogan

    Even Big Breitbart isn’t going there.

  • mark f

    In Pareene’s other piece on the Biden-just-about-to-be-dropped! crap, he mentions that conservative media treats its audience as if it’s stupid. As someone subjected to about 25 minutes of something called The Five on Fox News while on the treadmill yesterday, let me say: holy fucking hell is he not kidding.

    • mark f

      Oh, by the way, it was some guy with a punch me face hosting Dana Perino, Juan Williams and two women I didn’t recognize but who were dressed like Jennifer Esposito and Drea de Matteo’s characters from Made, on the topic of whether liberal liberal media writer Niall Ferguson’s Newsweek article would be the death of Obama’s campaign.

      • Kurzleg

        I guess it’s a failure of my own imagination that I can’t comprehend how people can behave this way.

        • Anonymous

          Want to check out my Facebook feed? I’ve about given up on it: otherwise nice people including HS friends, Navy shipmates, and cousins-and-such, so in the tank against Obama, liberals, and their own best interests that I can’t take it anymore.

  • rm

    Are you sure it’s a tongue-in-cheek satire by Pareene, or is that you being tongue-in-cheek about the possibility that it could be a sincere piece? I mean, yes, I know, it’s profoundly idiotic and unserious and ridiculous and stupid. But this is Salon. And that’s the problem, things you read in the press are not even right or wrong any more, they are insincere postmodern plays on the very concept of journalistic analysis, which means that the questions like whether they are right or wrong, satirical or sincere, are beside the point. It is hard for me to teach argumentation to freshmen in a world like this.

    • Scott Lemieux

      Are you sure it’s a tongue-in-cheek satire by Pareene


      • rm

        I know. I was being tongue-in-cheek about your being tongue-in-cheek about his being, you know. What I’m trying to say is that the satire is only obvious if you read other Pareene. It wasn’t till I was reminded of who he is that I was 100% sure. In spite of its being very stupid discourse, it would work perfectly well as a Sokal-style prank. That fact is really depressing and confounding.

  • dl

    If I knew who Pareene was, I could figure it out, but he is joking? And what/who is he making fun of, if so?

    • mark f

      After Joe Biden said the word “chains,” Bill Kristol’s magazine started running a countdown clock until the moment Biden would be replaced on Obama’s ticket, presumably with Hillary Clinton. They even had a big a “today’s the day!!!!!” story when a purported White House calendar showed Obama to be scheduled for meetings with both Clinton and Biden one day last week.

      • dl


        now, the next question: I assume we are sure that the Weekly Standard was not joking?

        • NonyNony

          While the Weekly Standard is a joke, none of their writers are funny on purpose.

      • Sherm

        While channel surfing last night, I watched a few minutes of the woman (generic, right-wing blond) filling in for O’Reilly on Fox. She did a segment on how Biden is unqualified and concluded that Obama would remove him from the ticket if he cared about anything other than winning. Do people really believe this shit? Biden has been a senator since the 1970’s and the sitting vice-president for the past four years, but he’s not as qualified as the college republican twerp running with Romney?

        • Njorl

          All Obama really cares about is that massive Biden bump at the polls.

        • Cody

          Obviously, Obama only keeps Biden for the middle-aged affluent white guy demographic. How else could he hope to win them, without one on his ticket!?

          If you look back, all the Presidential elections that won had a middle-aged affluent white guy on the ticket. Simply no way to deny the history!

          • Just Dropping By

            You’ve got an odd definition of “middle-aged” — Biden is 69. If he ran for president in 2016, he’d be as old as Reagan was when he started his second term.

  • Every time I’m about to be embarrassed by the gaffes of our sitting vice-president, I have terrifying flash-backs to the erudite locutions of our former president.

    My wife takes great comfort in the love of her gynecologist.

    Meanwhile, I is learning to put food on my family.

    Now – can I go bomb somebody?


  • Boudleaux

    He says everyone he meets, from cocktail parties to airports, is talking about it.

    Which, of course, runs the gamut of social experience — once you combine those two groups, that is basically everybody in America.

    It truly does seem to be a fine line between intentional and unintentional parody.

    • Cody

      So the question is… is he really that good? Or is he that bad!?

  • Colin Day

    Won’t Dr. Rice be too busy hitting the links at Augusta National?

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