What I want Chuck Grassley to investigate is not whether Barack Obama brought some Colombian prostitutes to his suite, for all Republicans know he did. Instead, he needs to find out how many Colombian prostitutes Obama employed, how much coke he used, and whether Hillary used the same hit man she hired to whack Vince Foster to eliminate the evidence of Obama’s insatiable sexual desires.
UPDATE [SL]: I think these priorities are misplaced. Clearly, Obama ordered the Colombian prostitutes to kill Vince Foster again to cover up the heroin distribution ring he and Bill Clinton are running out of the Mesa and Peoria airports. We know that. The real question is — did the Colombian prostitutes collaborate with Obama on a failed property deal? We cannot be certain at this time, but I think we can all agree Obama should be preemptively impeached just to be safe.