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How To Speak Wingnut: Some New Definitions

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Puzzled about this new language spoken by Republicans, which involves English words used in a way that produces sentences that make no sense? I’m here to help! In collaboration with the with Critical Race Theorist and man who once saw a book by Derrick Bell in the library without immediately burning it Jesse Taylor, allow me to fill in a couple of gaps.

Radicalism (n.) 1. Remembering that all of American history through 1964 happened. (Credit: entirely to Jesse.)

2. Believing that multiple centuries of slavery and apartheid might have effects after January 1, 1965. “Derrick Bell is such a radical he believed that freedom of choice plans and Milliken v. Bradley did not lead to integrated schools.”

Alinskyite (adj.) 1. Any Democrat to the left of Zell Miller who wins an election.

2. Any random thing a wingnut doesn’t like. “Derrick Bell is so radical he holds the Alinskyite idea that law is a social construct. Alinsky was so influential he invented legal realism even before he was born.”*

*Actual example!

Slut (n.) 1. A woman who has sexual relations without getting the prior approval of Ross Douthat, Rush Limbaugh, and a supermajority of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.  “If that slut thinks the insurance her employer is getting a huge tax break to provide her instead of wages should cover basic medical care, she should at least send me some sex tapes.”

Judicial activist (n.) 1. Any jurist who fails to recognize that the Constitution enacted the most recent platform of the Texas Republican Party.   “Ruth Bader Ginsburg is such a radical judicial activist that she doesn’t acknowledge that the Fourteenth Amendment prevents different counties from using different vote counting methods if it might result in Al Gore being elected, and not in any other case.”

Hopefully this helps!

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