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Paging David Horowitz!

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Rick Santorum was a victim of liberal persecution, receiving lower grades than he surely deserved because of his political views.

Who can doubt it? Why, his American history professor probably didn’t give him full credit for his answer to the question of why the United States won the Revolutionary War, i.e. “because George Washington was a dumbshit.” And I bet Berube won’t even tell you about the Boston book party…

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  • herr doktor bimler

    Santorum is claiming that he’s not really as stupid as his grades would indicate? That’s going to cost him some support.

    • Marek

      What a snob!

  • Ben

    I thought that part of his speech last night was the special kind of crazy that would sound weird even to someone who knew just a little bit about US history.

    “George Washington understood that he didn’t have all the answers, which is why he trusted the people and counted on the ragtag group of minutemen to fight the revolution, and then didn’t let them vote afterward unless they had land”.

    • Scott Lemieux

      And didn’t let them vote for president at all!

    • Is Santorum actually saying he supports only landowners having the franchise?

      • DrDick

        I have argued for a while that his position is that only white, wealthy, male, Christian, property owners should be allowed to vote.

    • ploeg

      “Take for example Benedict Arnold, a soldier’s soldier, who, despite being relieved of command, escaped camp and personally led several charges on the British lines at Saratoga. The war would have been over a lot sooner if we had more people like Arnold.”

      • opiejeanne

        Actually,Benedict Arnold was the hero of the Battle of Saratoga, which was a turning point in the war; there is a monument to him at the site, but it’s hard to find and it doesn’t have his name on it, just a carved stone of a boot. He didn’t escape camp, he just didn’t ask permission in the second round of fighting. If the idiot generals (trying to remember if it was General Lincoln) had not opposed him at every turn, and if he hadn’t gotten shot in the leg (hence the boot for a monument) and laid up for six months with his Tory in-laws working on him over his poor treatment, he probably would not have turned.

        • witless chum

          That would be Horatio Gates, who tried very hard to lose the southern colonies at the Battle of Camden.

          • opiejeanne

            Thank you. I couldn’t remember Gates and was too lazy to look it up.

            The Battle(s) of Saratoga took place not in Saratoga but mainly on John Freeman’s Farm at Stillwater. I have to confess that John Freeman is one of my great great great great grandfathers, but I am happy to report that all the rest of my 4Xgreat grandfathers that were here at the time, and that is almost all of them, were proper patriots and not Royalists as Freeman styled himself.
            Family history can be a bit jarring when it is uncovered after about 230 years. We all think that our ancestors would have chosen the same side we would choose today.

    • Fun fact: Washington’s troops were so ragtag that Washington ended up depending on the guidance one of them elitist, European, intellectual types to teach the Continental Army rudimentary tactics, drills, and discipline. He’s largely credited with turning the Continental Army into a competent fighting force, and considered one of the fathers of said army.

      What a snob!

      • Linnaeus

        You forgot Poland!

        • opiejeanne

          Who could forget that prince of a man.

          • R Johnston

            He’s got possibly the shittiest bridge on the shittiest stretch of road in the U.S. named after him. That’s memorable!

            • John F

              but hey some people, traffic reporters included now pronounce the name correctly, “Kosh-Koosh-Ko” instead of what they used to say, “Kaazy-Oz-Ko”

              • opiejeanne

                Sorry, I was talking about Pulaski.

              • opiejeanne

                That’s what I get for not clicking the link and knowing a tiny bit about one Polish nobleman.

      • ajay

        And, later on, depending on them to do the actual fighting as well. Most of the men who defeated the British at Yorktown were from which country?

        • dave

          On ne parle jamais de ca… [et on n’a pas d’accents sur ce clavier…]

          • ajay

            Always worth reminding people that the rag-tag heroes of democracy who fought against the overbearing forces of a tyrannical monarchy were called things like “Son Excellence Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, comte de Rochambeau”, and “Son Excellence François-Joseph Paul, marquis de Grasse Tilly et comte de Grasse”.

        • Njorl

          I always felt lucky, after reading of the routine defeat of French naval forces by the British, that the French won the Battle of Capes, and the blockade of Cornwallis’ army went off so well.

          • ajay

            Very true. Pretty much since the sixteenth century, any strategic plan that includes the phrase “of course, by this point we will have taken command of the sea away from the Royal Navy” has been doomed to embarrassing failure, normally culminating in being kicked out of the Casa Rosada, being exiled to St Helena, or committing suicide in Berlin.
            1781 is one of the few exceptions.

    • Lurker

      Here, I stand astonished. The most charitable reading of this text would seem to be:

      1) The hard-core independency supporters were underclass people with little education and even less property. Seems correct to me.

      2) Washington lead them, which was great for the Colonies. I agree. Washington is one of the great guerilla war lords of world history, on par with Mao and Ho Chi Minh.

      3) Washington felt no qualms at abandoning his veterans and leaving them without any political power at all, as he wished to concentrate the power to the wealthy upper class, like most of the founding fathers. I agree, but I think that most of the US population would consider this claim to be sedition.

      4) Point 3 is a good thing. This I marvel at.

      • Uncle Kvetch

        This I marvel at.

        I really don’t — at this point I tend to think of Santorum as the Pall Malls of conservatism: no filter. He says what they’re all thinking, but are afraid to say outright. It’s almost refreshing, in a nauseating kind of way.

  • Tom M

    I had no idea that the shale in North Dakota just oozes light sweet crude. Enough to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
    Wait until Canada finds out Rick wants to stop one of their primary exports.

    Think he knows what the Pale of Settlement was?

    • MAJeff

      As someone who lives in the state, North Dakota oozes lots of shit.

  • I want to know what conservatives with bow-ties think about this.

    • PSP

      Don’t leave out us bow tie wearing liberals.

  • As someone who went to school in Pennsylvania, I kinda find his depiction of Penn State as some hotbed of liberalism- “That Liberal Icon”, to use his phrasing- to be particularly laughable. I’m pretty sure virtually every noteworthy college and university in the state is more deserving of that label than Penn State is. Including the Catholic schools.

    Maybe Santorum confused his own Alma Mater with Pennsylvania University?

    • Uncle Kvetch

      Maybe Santorum confused his own Alma Mater with Pennsylvania University?

      If you mean the University of Pennsylvania…then no. Most decidedly no.

  • I don’t care who, and I don’t care why, all I know is that some US politician needs to start running adds like this one:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/feb/29/putin-advert-russia-virgin-voters-video

    Romney, Santorum, Paul, anyone.

  • Snarki, child of Loki

    Paging anyone at Penn State that still has copies of Santorum’s old papers: get in touch with Wikileaks, PDQ!

    Or The Onion. They’re always on the lookout for new material.

  • opiejeanne

    In the speech he mentions the men and women who signed the Declaration of Independence. He thinks women signed it?

    • Uncle Kvetch

      Holy shit. I wouldn’t have believed you if I hadn’t checked for myself. He really did.

    • Anonymous

      Here, I would believe that this is a ghostwriter’s mistake. In the modern political speech, referring to “men who” did anything momentous would usually be decried as chauvinist. In polite society, you need to acknowledge also the women who contributed. Here, we have a rare historiccal act where no woman participated at all: the signing of the Declaration of Independence. It’s easy for a professional writer or copyeditor to make this kind of mistake.

      I’m not, for a single moment, thinking that this text would have been written by Santorum himself.

      • ajay

        “It’s a particular honor for me to shake the hand of Neil Armstrong, the first man or woman to have set foot on the Moon.”

  • I didn’t start teaching at Penn State until 2001, and I’ve only taught our required Blaming America First gen-ed course three times since then, but judging by his recent remarks, I can’t see any reason why Rick Santorum wouldn’t have graduated with a 4.0. Clearly, any professor checking his statements for “accuracy” and “honesty” is a paid-up disciple of Alinsky.

    And yes, of course, women signed the Declaration. Frances Lewis of New York, Frances Hopkinson of New Jersey, Frances Lightfoot Lee of Virginia, and of course Jane Hancock of Massachusetts. But they dressed like men, hence the confusion.

    • ajay

      And yes, of course, women signed the Declaration. Frances Lewis of New York, Frances Hopkinson of New Jersey, Frances Lightfoot Lee of Virginia, and of course Jane Hancock of Massachusetts.

      And two of those were black…

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