Not So Much A #Slatepitch as an #Onionpitch
Shorter Simon Doonan: a couple small restaurant chains you’ve never heard of represent a universal trend, the small minority of women who get breast implants for aesthetic reasons can be safely conflated with pretty much all women, and I find it puzzling that to find examples of small-breasted women being considered attractive I am forced to consult such obscure sources as “Hollywood movies” and “every fashion magazine published since the Nixon administration.”
I was hoping this wasn’t the same guy who wrote the “straight people eat like this, but gay people eat like this” book that was inexplicably hyped by the Times a couple weeks ago, but alas. I’m not sure who decided that these not-quite-good-enough-to-open-for-Carrot-Top comedy stylings demanded the attention of many major media outlets, but I’m sure this will all end with a permanent sinecure at the Atlantic.