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“I feel eventually you would care enough about me…that I could live with that.”

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I love Jon Chait’s Mitt Romney/Ace Rothstein analogy.   The problem for the conservative base is that their competing suitors can’t even rise to the level of a card shark, a golf hustler, and/or a pimp from Beverly Hills. Rick Perry was like the juiced-in slots manager. (“You have got me there. Old Rick is as useless as tits on a boar.”) Newt, even after he sorta decided to run for president 6 weeks or so before the Iowa primary, is more like Morry from GoodFellas, a pain in the ass who was useful in some previous roles but becomes intolerable as he gets more ambitious. (“I’d do anything for you!” “Except stop busting my balls.”) I think Newt just asked the Republican establishment whether the diner they’re heading to has danish…

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  • fasteddie9318

    Mitt as the dorky but efficient and amoral con man and the Republican electorate as the coked-out, drunken, slutty hooker he can’t live without? I like it.

    • UberMitch

      I’m looking forward to the Republican Party fatally OD’ing in some filthy hallway.

    • Not a con man: a highly-successful professional better.

      It’s so perfect.

      • bobbyp

        Highly successful bettors are not necessarily con men. Titanic Thompson would beat you left handed or right…no, I’d argue Mitt is like those real estate hustlers (Robert Allen, Zig Ziglar) who make 10,000 cold calls and find some 89 year old widow living alone in here house and convince her to sell it for 50% of assessed value for “quick cash”, flip it for a big profit, and then turn around and bleat they are “wealth creators”. Win-win!!!!

        That’s simply theft.

        Big difference.

        • R Johnston

          That’s Mitt to a tee. Except that instead of directly conning an 89 year old widow–shareholder, bondholders, employees–out of her home, Mitt got her 50 year old son with power of attorney–i.e. the corporate boards of the ravaged companies–to sell it out from under her in return for a share of the profits on the scam.

  • If this means Mitt Romney will get a bunch of dudes to beat up Newt Gingrich if he wins Florida, I will be highly satisfied.

    • Also, does that make Ron Paul Nicky? The erratic brute who is thinks he’s in control but will end up a hole in a corn field when he pisses off the guys back east too much?

      • Paul Campos

        Nicky = Roger Ailes

        “Always the dollars.”

  • Jim Lynch

    As in the desert, too, nowadays there are holes everywhere you look in the republican party. Romney is the guy with the shovel that has to keep digging hole after hole, as one candidate after another stumbles across him working.

    Romney ain’t no Remo, either.

  • When Newt does his little shtick acting appalled at the moderator of a debate, he’s actually saying to Republican primary voters:

    Can you feel my eyes on you? Can you feel me look into your heart? Can you feel me in the pit of your stomach? Can you feel me in you? In your heart?…I’m looking at you right now. I’m seeing you for the very first time right this minute. I’m seeing you and I can feel my heart click. I see you fourteen years old. I see the first second i ever saw you. I see you long-legged little colt, stupid braces on your teeth. Every time I ever see you, that’s what I see.

    And they giggle.

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