Home / General / Shorter Rick Perry: I Will Model My Foreign Policy in Mexico after Jack Pershing’s Campaign against Villa”

Shorter Rick Perry: I Will Model My Foreign Policy in Mexico after Jack Pershing’s Campaign against Villa”


It’s really tough to see how this could go wrong:

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas said on Saturday that as president, he would consider sending American troops into Mexico to help defeat drug cartels and improve border security. He indicated that any such action would be done “in concert” with the Mexican government.

“It may require our military in Mexico working in concert with them to kill these drug cartels and to keep them off of our border and to destroy their network,” Mr. Perry said during a campaign appearance here.

Yes, I’m sure the Mexican government will be ecstatic to see American troops on its soil. Moreover, I’m even more sure that decapitated American troops dumped on the side of a Mexican road will find a great deal of support among the American public.

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  • Epicurus

    Governor Perry is not what I would call a “deep thinker”.

    • Understatement of the century.

      • LKS

        “Deep”, in this case, is redundant and unnecessary.

    • RepubAnon

      I’d say Rick Perry is a very deep thinker – by the time he’s through “thinking”, he’s at least neck-deep in bovine-derived organic fertilizer.

      This latest quote should really help sway Latino voters… toward the Democrats

  • Any mention of Our Brave Troops + Any mention of violence directed against brown people = guaranteed applause from the Republican base.

    • Uncle Kvetch

      Any mention of Our Brave Troops + Any mention of violence directed against brown people = guaranteed applause from the Republican base somewhere between 75 and 90% of US citizens.


      • So, just so I’m clear on this: you two think that this proposal will play well among the American public?

        That this will be a real winner for Perry’s campaign?

        I guess we’ll see.

        • Linnaeus

          I don’t think this will be a winner, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it were.

  • scott g

    Perry is of course building off the well-established efficacy of military-style eradication campaigns both domestically and internationally. Cartels couldn’t possibly work in black markets, and they’re helpless against military C&C.

  • cpinva

    on the plus side, it would keep the killers occupied, and out of our country. as my brother used to say, when he was in the army back in the early 70’s, you always need a war going, to keep the killers happy.

    heck, they could live off the land too.

  • Malaclypse

    Look, if the empty slogan “Support The Troops” does not mean that we can invade any country on any pretext, then I don’t know what it means. Why do you not Support The Troops, Loomis?

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  • DrDick

    And just how does he intend to pay for this misadventure? I thought that Republicans were all about reducing the debt. Oh yeah, I forgot that wars pay for themselves. Silly me.

    • Hogan

      They still have oil, right? There you go. Retro-Reconquista is on.

      He may also think that a Second Mexican War is how we get from here to secession.

    • sparks

      The US could start dealing the drugs that are confiscated. There is precedent, after all.

    • Davis X. Machina

      Who could have predicted that the third party we need, the new force in American politics we all hunger for, turns out to be the Conscience Whigs?

    • LKS

      Seize all the guns the DEA sold to Mexican drug dealers, then sell them to some other drug dealers, perhaps in Bolivia, and use the proceeds to pay for the invasion. This also conveniently sets up a pretext for invading Bolivia.

  • Fats Durston

    From the skies of Tripoli-hi-i,
    To the bounds of Montezoom,
    We will solve our country’s pro-hob-lems,
    By making all go “boom.”

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  • I greatly fear if Perry were to win, this would be the natural result. We’ll need a war to end the depression by then, and what could be more convenient than invading Mexico?

    • Bill Murray

      Invading Canada, no one will suspect it and the border isn’t as militarized. Plus, there are already at least two movies to show us how to do it right this time.

      • Dude, we would so totally kick your ass. You guys couldn’t even beat the Iraqi civilian population, and the weather is nice there…

  • Incontinentia Buttocks

    So who would get to play Lee Sarason / Dick Cheney to Perry’s Buzz Windrip / Dubya?

    Would one of the Kochs consider public service?

  • c u n d gulag

    Why can’t we invade Canada?

    Montreal is one of my favorite cities in the world.

    Maybe after Mexico.

    Who thought we’d blow the dust off of Manifest Destiny in the 21 Century, and want to control the continent from the Equator to the North Pole?

    And why stop there?
    Let’s go for South America. After all, it’s got ‘America’ in its name.

    America – Pole to Pole!

    • Montreal is lovely, but I’d rather winter in Vancouver.

      • c u n d gulag

        Never been to Vancouver, but always wanted to go.

        And Montreal in the winter is lovely – especially if you can find a beautiful or handsome Quebecer to spend the night with.

        • Linnaeus

          I’ll second that. I’ve been to both Vancouver and Montreal and they’re both great cities for their own reasons. I could winter in either of them.

    • LKS

      Canada isn’t brown enough, that’s why.

  • E L

    Would the invasion of Mexico happen before or after we nuke Iran?

  • This is a transparent ploy in response to the grief he’s taking from the Republican base for allowing a sliver of humanity to show in his immigration platform.

  • He indicated that any such action would be done “in concert” with the Mexican government.

    How we should respond if our neighbor asks for our help in fighting the drug cartels is an interesting discussion.

    Also an interesting discussion: who would win if Batman fought Spiderman?

    • RepubAnon

      Anyone who thinks that the Mexican government would ever ask for armed US troops south of the border hasn’t any clue of Mexican politics.

      Not. Gonna. Happen.

      Plus, it would be another mega-disaster attempt to use the military as a police force to fight criminals (See Afghanistan). For example, “narco-corrida” songs romanticizing drug cartels are popular in Mexico – imagine if the drug cartels were fighting the folks that had invaded your country in the past and taken large chunks of your country’s territory.

      What’s “wolverine” in Spanish?

      • Walt

        You didn’t answer the Batman versus Spiderman question. Clearly you’re dodging the real issue.

        • Malaclypse
          • Walt

            Nice attempt to change the topic of conversation. We’re not talking Superman here, we’re talking about Spiderman. Clearly you want to invade Mexico too.

            • Malaclypse

              Wow, I totally misread that, not once, but twice.

              The obvious answer is that Spiderman would sit in front of the television and whine.

              • Hogan

                Are we talking about the newspaper Spiderman, the Ditko/Lee Spiderman, the Bendis Spiberman, or what? Similarly, are we talking about the O’Neal Batman, the Miller Batman, the Adam West Batman, the George Clooney Batman (feh)? These are the kind of questions we need to see hashed out at the next Republican presidential debate, and the more hash the better.

                • Malaclypse

                  All I know is, Tom Baker was the best Doctor Who, and Sean Connery was the only Bond.

                • Hogan

                  I have no interest in debating self-evident propositions.

                • Some Guy

                  I’m rather partial to David Tennant’s Doctor, meself. And I may be the only person who was fond of Collin Baker’s.

  • Alison

    At least we know if Perry takes over Mexico, he’ll have some great ideas for renaming it


    • dave

      That’s so pricelessly MSM. They haven’t the guts to actually write the word ‘Nigger’ in the main text, but they’ll sneak it in as long as they’re quoting someone.

  • Yosemite Semite

    There’s an interesting twist to the invasion proposition. The shock troops for invasion would be the U. S. Marines. (And not only do they have the capability, they have the history, right? “From the halls of Montezuma…,” etc.) The ethnic composition of the U. S. Marines is a bit hard to winkle out, but it seems that a somewhat larger percentage of Marines are Hispanic than in the general population of the U. S.; about 13% to 10%. So, given that, how many Hispanic Marines will be enthusiastic about the prospect of killing their cousins and uncles and nephews?

    RepubAnon is certainly right on the Mexican politics. Nevah hoppen, GI!

    Rick Perry is Ronald Reagan Lite. (Gen. Perry, as we can call him, is undoubtedly another chicken-hawk.)

    • BigHank53

      Stick your thumb over a picture of Perry, obscuring his face. That’s Reagan’s hair, isn’t it?

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  • I bet the faux-military wankers who patrol the border got REAL fucking quiet when he came out with that one.

  • 4jkb4ia

    This has to be heightening the contradictions. Americans might not think about this sort of thing when it is in Colombia. But when it is in Mexico it will be yet another failed war very quickly. Opponents can point to years of NYT coverage about the Mexican law enforcement system that isn’t. Just soldiers aren’t going to solve that.

    Taegan Goddard’s link to Nocera’s review of “Confidence Men”, which should put paid to the idea that he is a Beltway hack

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