Home / General / “Maybe People Who Aren’t Assholes Would Try Our New Drink. We Don’t Know. Frankly, We Don’t Want to Know. It’s a Market We Could Do Without.”

“Maybe People Who Aren’t Assholes Would Try Our New Drink. We Don’t Know. Frankly, We Don’t Want to Know. It’s a Market We Could Do Without.”


Dr. Pepper introduces a harebrained ad campaign that seems designed to go beyond the mere garden-variety misogyny so often presented by America’s marketing community and go somewhere really special:

This week, the company unleashed a new campaign on Facebook, including a “man quiz” and a shooting gallery that aims at girly things like lipstick. There’s also an awkwardly worded “10 Man’ments” that includes alleged social network taboos like untagging unflattering photos and the use of “OMG” and smileys.

A shooting gallery?  Jesus.


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  • mark f

    I saw the commercial featured in the link on ESPN. I thought it was making fun of those awful Miller Lite ads.

  • Jeeze, I hope it’s a Miller-ad parody.

    And are any of those ‘girly things’ books? My male students (9-12) seem to have all received a memo that I didn’t, saying that if they’re caught with one in their possession their dicks will fall off.

  • jsmdlawyer

    Those Miller Lite ads make my skin crawl. “Only gay guys don’t drink Miller Lite.”

    We’ve come a long way, baby — not.

    The only saving grace is that my 16 year old is even more appalled with the ads than I am. I’m very proud of that.

    • Scott Lemieux

      Then there’s also those Michael Imperioli “only fags drink decent tequila” commercials.

      • jsmdlawyer

        I had no idea there were so many of those ads. I had only seen 2 or three at most, and thought them fairly inoffensive, but some of the ones on YouTube are pretty heinous.

        I guess that’s what we can expect from the ghost of Christopher Moltisanti. Good for Tony for killing him.

      • John

        Having (unfortunately) just gone through a whole bunch of ads from that campaign, the vast majority of them only indirectly hint at that idea, rather than saying it straight out. There is one that talks about men dressing like boys in capri pants, though, so yeah. But at least in that case it’s just the one commercial, rather than a whole campaign with the slogan “it’s not for women.”

        • ajay

          a whole campaign with the slogan “it’s not for women.”

          See, in the UK, Yorkie chocolate bars, which actually had the slogan “IT’S NOT FOR GIRLS” printed on the wrapper.

          Except for the ones in British Army ration packs, which had “IT’S NOT FOR CIVILIANS”.

          • dave

            Fortunately, Yorkies are shit, and pretty much taste like their wrappers, so anyone who wasn’t already a tasteless craphead was unaffected.

    • norbizness

      The only way to man up is to press your lips to this wide-mouthed can that expels life-giving fluid.

  • Njorl

    I think it must be some kind of parody. Think about Dr. Pepper’s previous ads. They seemed to primarily target afficianados of musical comedy.

    The question is whether it is a satrical over the top reaction to being perceived as a gay soda, or a real over the top reaction.

    I’d like to see a commercial where rad dudes engage in Xtreme stunts that result in them screaming in agony as thy’re hauled away by an ambulance as laid back people drinking 7up look on.

  • Joshua

    Dr. Pepper is discouraging women from drinking Dr. Pepper with these ads.

    Quite frankly, if I was a woman, I’d be flattered.

    • wiley

      I’m a woman. I’m not flattered. If it is a total flop then maybe we’re moving into better mental health territory for men—this kind of advertising preys on men who are really worried that they aren’t enough and that is a sad state to be in.

      If you have a dick and you’re eighteen or older, you’re a man, damn it. And really, why should being a woman be such a horrible thing? Most men can’t afford to become one anyways, so why worry about it?

      • Bill Murray

        why should being a woman be such a horrible thing?

        cooties. Many of us are still 13 inside, but some of us refuse to be bound by the petty dictates of manly society

        • wiley

          Unfortunately there has been a sad reversal. My last nanny gig included walking children to school. Quite a few neighborhood children liked to walk with me because I would protect them from bullies. Some of the girls starting trash-mouthing the boys for being “gross” and “disgusting”. I put a stop to it immediately and made it clear that I forbid it and if they wanted to walk with me they had better at least act like they agree with the statement “There are boys and there are girls. Big deal. Boys are cool and girls are cool. We’re all cool.”

          As a budding and professed feminist since the sixth grade, I did not picture girls doing to boys what boys were doing to girls as a solution, much less tolerable behavior. Sexism is sexism is sexism. Feminst = battling sexism.

          • Walt

            Children seem to naturally fall into “battle of the sexes”-type stuff. It’s one of the 80 million behaviors that parents and other adults have to discourage. So good for you for putting a stop to it.

            I don’t think it’s a sign of social regress, though. I think kids would reinvent it right around the time they discover the difference between boys and girls.

  • All this beverage contention has a simple solution: Moxie. No baggage. No ads — at least on TV. A tertium quid in a bright orange bottle…

    • Njorl

      I prefer Bouncey Bubble Beverage, “It’s the Mandatory Thing!”

      • Doct-R-PPR

        Bouncy Bubble Beverage is delicious with both Hot Fun and Cold Fun, and makes the ideal accompaniment to a delicious bag of CrunchyTyme Algae Chips.

        Please note that distribution of Hot Fun, Cold Fun, CrunchyTyme Algae Chips, and Bouncy Bubble Beverage has been suspended indefinitely owing to an attack by Communist saboteurs on the DRP Sector Food Vats.

        Please also note that Communist saboteurs are spreading false rumors that they have successfully attacked the DRP Sector Food Vats, disrupting the supply of Hot Fun, Cold Fun, CrunchyTyme Algae Chips, and Bouncy Bubble Beverage. Report the source of all such treasonous rumors to the nearest IntSec branch office.

        • Bill Murray

          I get Paranoid just thinking about. About time for an underwear check to make sure you aren’t pretending to be a High Programmer under your infrared jumpsuit

        • Some Guy

          Cold Fun also comes in a self-sealing puck.

    • Malaclypse


      No. Just Fucking No. Moxie exists solely as an evil prank to play on people who have never had the misfortune of drinking Moxie before.

      If you want a solution to offensive beverage marketing, tap water is your best solution.

      • Where’s your moxie, boy???

      • sparks

        It’s really the thing to wash down that durian you got your prank victim to eat.

        • LeeEsq

          I happen to like durian.

          • sparks

            Then You’ve Got Moxie!

      • DrDick

        I kind of like homemade iced tea.

      • witless chum

        I don’t know what a Moxie is. I switched to drinking nothing but Diet Vernors, on the theory that it tastes most like its sugary counterpart. Plus, it’s made in Michigan and I’ve never seen a commercial for it.

        • Malaclypse

          A horrid, New England soda using industrial molasses as a base flavor.

          • sparks

            Sadly, no. It has gentian root extract.

        • Scott Lemieux

          Vernors is awesome, by far the best diet drink I’ve ever tasted. One point for Michigan!

  • They could really market this thing effectively as a cure for man boobs, if they had, you know, a sense of humour.

    • PhoenixRising

      What makes you think that’s not the plan for their diet brands?

      • NonyNony

        This ad campaign is for their new diet brand which is apparently aimed at men.

        That’s probably why the incredibly sexist marketing campaign exists. Some idiot looked at their demographics and said “we don’t have enough men between the ages of 13 and 30 drinking Diet Dr. Pepper”. So they created a new version of Diet Dr. Pepper with a new name and hired another idiot to create a man-targeted ad campaign.

        Meanwhile nobody bothered to realize that the guys who aren’t buying the diet version who might want to drink Dr. Pepper are probably buying the regular version, so they’re only poaching from their own customer base. At some point soda companies seem to have forgotten that the “Diet” versions of their drinks are supposed to complement – not compete with – the regular versions of their drinks. Morons.

  • c u n d gulag

    What’s next, a snack company advertising to wishful-thinking Consevative men with balls like two tic tacs in a leather nickel bag, with dicks the size of quartered cocktail franks, advertising their new 10-inch “Miss Me Yet, Bitch?” line of Cheeto’s.

    • efgoldman

      You’ve been on fire, lately. Must be because you don’t have the FY to worry about.

      • c u n d gulag

        Yeah, deep depression brings out the best/worst in me.

  • Has anyone pointed out yet that the bottle is ribbed for her pleasure?

  • norbizness

    It’s still better than Mr. Pibb’s “We Hate Slavs” campaign.

    • Auguste


      • Auguste

        Sorry, Deadspinned-out for a moment there.

    • LeeEsq


  • pete

    I saw the Dr Pepper ad on tv and I thought it was a pretty amusing parody of advertising aimed at men. I almost laughed when the guy says “Catchphrase!”.

    The parody was definitely not subtle, but let’s be honest, subtle parody doesn’t cut it with most tv viewers.

  • Jim Lynch

    Because I was a Teamster, I made a decent living for many years loading trucks for Pepsico. During that time, the corporation owned Dr. Pepper. I assume it still does.

    People swilled that horse-piss like water. I doubt any ad campaign, however inane, will impact its volume of sales one way or the other.

    • CJColucci

      Hey, I used to be a Teamster, too, delivering Miller, Molson, Heineken, and a few smaller brands. Not a bad gig, though I got out before getting too badly banged up.

  • soullite

    I live in Oklahoma, and let’s be fair to the folks at Dr. Pepper. How exactly are they supposed to sell soda to the locals who believe that the word ‘diet’ means ‘gays only’, and who believe that the best expression of manliness is a 100 lbs gut?

    • dave

      Offer discounts for bulk orders at funerals? Double discount if you died of a heart attack?

    • Promise to cure man-boobs?

      • dangermouse

        But they take great and stupid pride in their moobies.

        • Only because they look almost totally not-unlike the hard pecs of a professional wrestler on steroids.

          Almost. That’s the standard they live by. Almost totally not-unlike.

  • Ralph Hitchens

    I hope it’s a parody. If not, very disappointing to see in my favorite soft drink brand. Loved it since the prune juice rumors, decades ago. DP 10 seems to be a marketable concept but may have gotten off to a bad start.

  • Daragh McDowell

    Sorry Scott, but Dr. Pepper is a rank amateur compared to Club Orange (a European Orange soda.) Personally I think we’re about three years way from Bill Hicks’ Coke campaign…

  • TK421

    Oh, did we solve all that economic depression and pointless war stuff, and now all that’s left to talk about is commercials on TV? That’s good.

    • Malaclypse

      Why don’t people write about things I want them to write about? Dammit, I expect a full refund!

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