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Great Moments in Using Transparent Illogic to Defend Bigotry

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Even by the standards of a movement that considers Maggie Gallagher an intellectual, assertions that no gay or lesbian could judge a case concerning gay and lesbian equality are mind-blowingly dumb. Not to mention self-refuting; since the PropH8 argument is based on the idea that marriage equality is a threat to heterosexual marriage, it’s not clear who exactly is able to hear these cases, as heterosexual judges should also be required to recuse themselves.

In terms of bad arguments in this area, though, I don’t think it’s possible to top Ed Whelan:

According to his recent disclosure, Walker has been in a relationship with the same man for the past ten years. Walker and his partner evidently live in the San Francisco area.

San Fransisco? Hell, forget recusal, he should be impeached immediately!

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  • Anderson

    It’s a surprise Whelan wasn’t deeply involved with the torture memos, since he loves to torture logic.

  • DivGuy

    Isn’t it just using bigotry to defend bigotry?

    • Scott Lemieux

      I concede the point.

  • I’m sure Gallagher also believes that any judge who owns stock should not rule in a case involving a corporation.

    • DrDick

      And no Republican justice should ever rule on an elections case involving a Republican candidate.

      • redrob

        Come on Doc, you know that Republican hearts are pure and that gives them the strength of ten men — manly men, really buff, heroic manly men, strictly heterosexual buff, heroic, manly men of course.

        • Malaclypse
          • redrob

            I was thinking of the Spartans in the minds of conservative 300 fanboys, but that link does serve.

            • DrDick

              You mean these Spartans?

              • redrob

                No, no, not them at all. I meant these Spartans. Who are manly men, really buff, heroic manly men, strictly heterosexual buff, heroic, manly men, of course. It’s that complete absence of historical awareness that gives Republican hearts their purity and the strength of ten men — etc.

              • DrDick

                Invincible ignorance is their armor.

              • firefall

                surely you mean These Spartans?

  • rea

    Obviously, what we need are a cadre of promiscuous bisexual judges, so that cases like this can be heard impartially.

    • Rob

      Self hating gays I think are also allowed. You know, Republican office holders.

      • MAJeff

        Self hating gays I think are also allowed. You know, Republican office holders

        Don’t forget the anti-gay homosexuals in GOProud.

    • asdfsdf

      Asexual judges could work also.

      • Holden Pattern

        Trial by amoeba!

        • Malaclypse

          Splitter.

          • astonishingly dumb hv

            Win!

      • Seitz

        Appoint Morrissey and Bradford Cox to the bench!

    • mds

      Obviously, what we need are a cadre of promiscuous bisexual judges

      Absolutely! “Provide me with your briefs when I ask for them.” “Both of you. In my chambers.”

      so that cases like this can be heard impartially.

      … Oh. Right. That would work, too.

  • Pupienus

    That the Prop 8 lawyer has actually submitted the argument to the court might be the crowning achievement in self-pwnage. Well, not as good as when plaintiff’s attorney David Boies got the star witness for the defendant-intervenors to affirm the need for marriage equality but that is only self-pwnage in the larger scenario of the entire Prop 8 campaign.

  • Fighting Words

    Well, I live in the San Francisco area (granted, I live in the East Bay). I even work in San Francisco. I guess I can kiss that judicial career goodbye…

    Well, on the bright side, at least Ed Whelan didn’t call it “San Fran.”

    • Stag Party Palin

      Everybody knows it’s “Frisco”.

      • Bill Murray

        Emperor Norton would tan your hide for that

        • Malaclypse

          Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Hermann Hesse. Only a handful understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton.

          • astonishingly dumb hv

            Not even RAW?

    • Warren Terra

      I live in the San Francisco area (granted, I live in the East Bay). I even work in San Francisco.

      Well, sure – but are you, like Ed Whelan, clever enough to work that logic backwards, and say that you might live someplace in the general vicinity of your workplace?

      I mean, it wasn’t exactly a state secret that Walker worked in a courthouse in San Francisco – but who ever knew he lived in the area, too?

  • efgoldman

    Hell, forget recusal, he should be impeached immediately!

    Impeached, my ass. Waterboard the fruit and then send him to Gitmo. Or maybe try a second-amendment remedy…

    I know the outrage-o-meter(tm) runs out of gas or gets overwhelmed some time, but this week we have seen a fucking SCOTUS justice say in writing that his pouty fears are worth more than any damn law written in a book. And no-one seemed surprised.

    • astonishingly dumb hv

      …this week we have seen a fucking SCOTUS justice known for being a textualist say in writing that his pouty fears are worth more than any damn law written in a book.

      FTFY.

      • efgoldman

        TY. I’m at work, can’t take time to edit.

        • efgoldman

          But actually, the lack of surprise was worse, to me, than any of the several stupid things that Scalia said.

          • astonishingly dumb hv

            Very right, it hadn’t really sunk in.

    • dollared

      Could you link that? I can’t keep track of the stupid, yet I can’t help but watch.

  • astonishingly dumb hv

    Mr. Lemieux, have you heard of the convention of mentioning it when you add emphasis to quotes?

    • N.Thomas.

      Mr. Lemieux, have you heard of the convention of mentioning it when you add emphasis to quotes?

      How ’bout giving him a fuckin’ break, Toto. He’s trying to make a post and all you do is act like a proofreader.

    • Scott Lemieux

      IN academic articles yes. For blog posts when 1)there is a link, and 2)any idiot would immediately understand that the emphasis is mine, not so much.

      • astonishingly dumb hv

        2)any idiot would immediately understand that the emphasis is mine, not so much.

        You have drastically, drastically overestimated Ed Whelan. He might very well have emphasized that.

        1)there is a link

        Get out of the boat? Who’s the idiot now?

  • Mike Schilling

    it’s not clear who exactly is able to hear these cases

    Confirmed bachelors. (And we all know what that means.)

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