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Surprise Surprise

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You’ll all be stunned to learn that the Sons of Confederate Veterans have laid claim to the grave of another selfless bondsman who loved his master so very much that he was willing to serve in defense of his master’s right to own him.

In related news, the Sons of Confederate Veterans have discovered that the hundreds of thousands of enslaved men and women who fled to Union lines during the War of Northern Aggression were motivated by anticipatory grief — so dearly did they love the Peculiar Institution that they couldn’t bear to face a post-war South that lacked it.

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