It had a good plot

Although I seem to have a knack for inspiring great moments in trollery, my cultural philistinism is fairly well known in these parts and probably overshadows whatever other virtues I might bring to LGM. With that in mind, it will probably surprise no one to learn that I would rather be pecked to death by crows than read Joyce’s Ulysses. I had my Black Turtleneck/Brooding English Major phase in college — lasting from roughly September 1989 through February 1990 — but my futility in company of Pound and Eliot exposed me as a rank fucking amateur, and so I gave up and spent the rest of my college years reading literature from antebellum New England. To complete my downward slide, I became an historian. By the time I turn 40, I expect to be fingerpainting full time and feeding myself with ants I’ve dug from the ground with sharp sticks.

Still, in belated recognition of Bloomsday, I’m willing to hold out hope for myself if Scott Eric Kaufman would summarize other difficult works of literature for my benefit.